Is it wrong to warn my fellow men on here about an imposter?

[nessonite1]

I wouldn't reccomend "outing" someone without conclusive proof. And that would be virtually impossible to get.

 

[chode]

I actually have that proof.

 

[BigNorm]

I wouldn't reccomend "outing" someone without conclusive proof. And that would be virtually impossible to get.

would you at least make a sticky thread or something about members who have been accused of being the opposite sex, but only members who have a legit complaint against them, i.e. don't post a suspected member if the accuser is hates the accusee, etc.? like an honest trust worthy person can be trusted with their complaint. or if it's someone not really known or new, check out the validity of it.

heck, i'd help review people's complaints against people who could be of the opposite sex. it's a very important matter.

 

[lollercaust]

but only members who have a legit complaint against them, i.e. don't post a suspected member if the accuser is hates the accusee, etc.?

What you suggested is the way the Spanish Inquisition worked. When a person had a complaint brought against them, they were allowed to make a list of people they knew had reason to dislike them (business competitors, in-laws, etc). If the person who accused them was on the list, the accusation was nullified. It's a pretty good system really.

 

[Goodieluver]

Heh, we can begin like an america's most wanted and post these peoples idents

I do have major problems with posing as the opposite sex. I mean there was a thread a while ago aboot some of the ladies who get frustrated how men keep msg'in them to cyber or whatnot when they are told no. Now what reason would a male impersonate a female in a chat if they dont want somethin, either to get off thru cyber or talkin about related topics. I am a hetero male, i have no problems with anyone homosexual but i dont want to be hit on by a guy, thats just me. There should be a warning system or way to know who's who.

The same goes for the F\F girls here, when they post a personals or even explicitly list they are only interested in females, they get dozens of comments by men and im sure some guys pose as girls to get hot talk from them, its not right.

Sometimes the human race that demonstrates this sickens me. Im sorry that you cant find a male(or female) to play games with that you have to lie about who u are but grow up and leave the computer, maybe that will solve yer issues instead of stalking\lying about your gender.

 

[CellarDweller]

Well, I recently had an experience that I can share.

I went to a website where I am a member. I was contacted by another member, and asked if we could "chat".

I agreed, and this person was talking to me about a personal matter that I had experience with. I spent two hours of my time with him, making him laugh and trying to make him feel better. His profile on the site listed him as male.

Well, after a few days, I waited to see if he wanted to chat, and opened yahoo messenger. He wasn't on, but I cliced on his name, and went to his profile.

Surpise. The profile displayed a picture of a pretty young woman named Amanda.

I tried to contact this person, but they didn't return messages or emails. I just checked the profile again, and now it says that he is male, and the picture is gone.

So now, is he a male, who was hitting on men, posing as a woman?

Is he a woman, posing on the site as a man, so she could hit on women?


I felt deceived. I spent 2 hours of my time thinking I was helping someone, and now I wonder if my time was wasted.

 

[MistressValerie1]

If an instant messenger user is bothering you or acting deceitful, your only recourse is to block the offending user, or complain to the company that provides the service (i.e., AOL, MSN, or Yahoo).

This forum does not have access to the internal records of third-party messenger providers, so we cannot verify the accuracy or truthfulness of messenger abuse claims. If a member is "outed" here and complains about it, we will have to delete the post.

Regards,

 

[Dussicar]

All this talk about outing imposters has finally gotten to me. I have a confession to make.
I'm not a 28 year old male who likes tickling.

I'm actually a trained chinchilla.

 

[iluvsoftsoles]

Warn Who?

YES, I WOULD HAVE A PROBLEM KNOWING ABOUT SOME GUY YOU MISTAKENLY TALKED TO OVER THE INTERNET WHO YOU THOUGHT WAS A GIRL? 🙄 PLEASE SPARE US. I THINK EVERYONE ON THIS FORUM SHOULD BE AWARE THAT WE ARE NOT CONDUCTING BUSINESS IN A BOARD ROOM. THE LAST TIME I CHECKED, THIS IS THE INTERNET.

 

[lollercaust]

The same goes for the F\F girls here, when they post a personals or even explicitly list they are only interested in females, they get dozens of comments by men

There really aren't words to describe how much this annoys me. Good observation.

To the poster above me: uninstall your web browser and leave. The blanket excuse "This is the internet" does not excuse blatant dishonesty and deception. Lying about one's identity offline is fraud; why should online be any different?

 

[Venom3602]

I wouldn't openly engage in any kind of relationship I'd engage with someone here unless I knew for sure everything they told me about themselves was true, gender and all. You hear people all the time talking about how dangerous meeting people online is, well we're in the deep end of the pool. This is a fetish forum, you were brought to their attention at a place they use for sexual stimulation. Know everything can about these people because you can't really trust any of them.

 

[iluvsoftsoles]

Response

WELL, I DON'T SUPPOSE IT IS ANY DIFFERENT. MY POINT IS WHO CARES? Do we really want to know how and/or why some guy on this forum has been fooled into believing he was talking to a girl through a PM service? I mean, if I was a victim of such embarassment, the people of this or any forum would be the last to know. I guess my point is, laws and rules in everyday life are broken everyday by people who may or may not even lose an ounce of sleep over it. Consequently, why should anyone on this forum not knowingly affected by whoever started this thread even need to concern themselves with such a situation? I guess I cannot relate because I do not usually PM women I do not know.

 

[lollercaust]

I guess my point is, laws and rules in everyday life are broken everyday by people who may or may not even lose an ounce of sleep over it.

So therefore it's clearly okay to violate acceptable standards of behavior at any time or for any reason. I think I get it. Kind of.

I'm with you as far as not PMing people I don't know, most of the time. I've PMed exactly one person from this site ever, and have no plans to do more. However, the people who do it should have the right to do it without wondering whether she is really a he.

A good example of this would be if you wanted the new Stephen King book, and bought it, only to find that it was a Harlequin romance with a Stephen King book sleeve as the cover. What you thought you were getting wasn't what what you got, and it cost you time and possibly money to find this out. Or if you got gas that was labeled as unleaded but contained lead and ended up messing up your engine. Whatever you enjoy doing, you can think of some example where honesty is necessary in order to enjoy it properly.

Yes, it's true that this is the Internet, and yes, it's true that people have to beware because there are odd people about. But having some way of keeping people accountable is beneficial. It's really not healthy for this or any community if you have to hover over the PM button wondering whether the person you're about to talk to is really who they say they are. That kind of paranoia is not conducive to a good quality atmosphere - especially here, where we're communing to discuss a topic that would get us looked at strangely by most of society. There's no reason we should have to look strangely at each other as well.

 

[Papabear1]

I have two thoughts about this. If the person is just emailing and IMing then I do not think it is a major problem. If the person is doing the like to meet me thing and you are positive that they are not who or what they claim then I would out them. Online is a place to be free and experiment, the R/W is not. Good luck with this.

 

[MistressValerie1]

I wouldn't openly engage in any kind of relationship I'd engage with someone here unless I knew for sure everything they told me about themselves was true, gender and all. You hear people all the time talking about how dangerous meeting people online is, well we're in the deep end of the pool. This is a fetish forum, you were brought to their attention at a place they use for sexual stimulation. Know everything can about these people because you can't really trust any of them.

That is VERY GOOD advice!

From Wanadoo.com's online safety guide:

Meeting people offline

We advise that you do not meet other users offline. When you are online, it is very easy for people to pretend to be someone they’re not.

If you are absolutely sure who they are, and decide to meet them, please do not do so without doing the following:

1. Get a friend to accompany you

2. Always tell someone you trust about where, when, and who you are meeting

3. Always meet in a public place of your choice

Dating-specific safety tips from NZDating.com (New Zealand):

Take it slow, friendships and relationships take time to develop, and NZDating is the perfect vehicle to stay anonymous and learn a lot about people before meeting them. Rushing the online portion of the relationship increases the risks that you don't know enough about the person and their moods. Earn each other's trust before taking it to the next level.

Requesting a second photo with different surroundings will give you a better feeling for the member and should prevent fake photos being used. The ability to scan photos is very common nowadays so any excuses of not providing photos may signal that they have something to hide.

Talking on the Phone

Wait until you are very comfortable with the other person before deciding to speak to each other on the phone. If they suggest it, take their number so you can make the call only when you are ready. In today's world even making a call can reveal your phone number (with caller ID). If you are still not 100% sure you may want to disable caller ID or use a public phone when calling.

Remember to listen to the person that answers and any background noise, always making sure they match what you already know about this person.

Meeting in Person

When you finally decide to meet, be sure to let your family or friends know where you are going and when you expect to return. Its always good to contact your family of friends before, during and after the meeting, so that they know you are alright, having to make contact with someone else also lets the person you are meeting know that you have friends looking out for you. It's always good to take a cell phone, that way you can arrange for your friends or family to call and check on you, rather than having to call someone yourself.

* It's always best to meet in a public location with plenty of people around - restaurants and coffee shops are a good starting place. You should avoid meeting at a private home until you get to know the person well in a face to face environment.
* If you are unsure of the meeting, going as part of a double date or arranging to meet the person with a friend provides an extra level of safety. Remember to let the person know beforehand and give them the option of bringing a friend.
* If the person you are meeting is in another town or city, it may be better to meet in a city in between to reduce the hometown factor. If you must meet them in their city, choose a popular public location and arrange your own transport both there and back. Never give out details of where you are staying until you are sure of the person.
* Never rely on the person you are meeting to get you home, if you do not take your own car be sure to take enough money to arrange your own transport.
* If you decide to meet further, good signs are that they match their online persona, and introduce you to their friends, associates or family.