Is There Such A Thing As "Realistic Dating Age Range"

[Mitchell]

With my mom hopefully stablizing, and things hopefully returning to normal, I'm of course having thoughts about the rest of my life. In addition to work plans, etc, one of my thoughts is.. dating. I mean obviously I know the whole thing about finding someone who is kind and understanding, with compatabilities, similar interests etc, but.., with me about to turn 42 in January, I'm also thinking.. is there such thing as a "realistic age" for me to date, and if so.. what is that age?

At my age, it would seem that anyone of normal college age from 18 to 22 would have to be eliminated. Except in rare cases.. I find the perspective of life is different at that age. Also.. I'd have to think.. what would a girl that age want with an old man of 42?

Then I start to think: What if.. for example.. I dated someone in their mid 20s, say.. 25. Seventeen years.. Hmmm. Wouldnt that be stretching it? If the girl in question's parents had her young.. conceivably.. her parents could be in their.. mid to late 40s.. young enough to be the age that an older sibling.. if I had one.. would be..

30 seems to be number that pops into my head as the youngest. 12 years. Young enough to go through dating for a year, two or three, and not to have to worry about the "woman's biological clock", and.. if we wanted to.. young enough to have two or three children.

I mean.. I'm sure there are forum members dating and married to partners 20 years younger or older. and that is personal choice.. I'm just thinking.. is there an age range for me, and one that has to be exed out?

I also know for sure that I dont want anyone who doesnt want kids.. or is too old to have them, so.. 50 would have to be out. I really want natural children.. at least one.. unless I fell in love with someone of childbearing age who heaven forbid couldnt have one. In that case, we'd have to adopt.

Thoughts on this?

Mitch

 

[Mystic Monk]

My buddy says it's half your age plus seven.

 

[PiedPiper]

MM's answer sounds pretty good, Mitch

I was divorced from my first marriage at age 39, and happily discovered that the dating prospects were 'way better than I had imagined, although to be fair, I was interested in ladies closer to my own age, and there were plenty of them,... all likewise having a divorce under their belts. (at age 41 I ended up living with a 29-year-old, however) I think most women apply some rule of thumb about having their first child by around mid-to-late 20's, do they not? My high school sweetheart was born when her mom was 44,.... but that may be the extreme boundary. And never forget that there is a significant constituency of ladies out there who actually prefer older men,... another pleasant discovery along the path of middle age. I think you can do it.

 

[Mitchell]

Thanks for the replies.

Mystic, Ironically, I was talking about this with my mom a couple of days ago. She told me she thinks the youngest I should realistically date is 28, which, come January 23, will be the half my age plus seven formula that you mentioned.

Pied, 41 and living with a 29 year old sounds cool. You mentioned your HS sweetheart being born when her mom was 44. I have a close friend whose mother had him when she was 38, and his sister when the mother was 42. Now, the sister is going to to be 38, and the mother 80, and I can tell you, that my friend's sister resents her "old mother". That, however, isnt the topic, so sorry if I'm digressing.

I appreciate the insight.

Mitch

 

[LD_Tickler]

I think it depends entirely on the person. I don't think screening based on age is a good approach.

 

[Bothersome]

Hugh Hefner says no.

But in all seriousness, so long as she's 18 years or older, it's entirely up to your discretion.

 

[GQguy]

I think you're asking the wrong questions. I think the better question is this: "what kind of woman compliments you" "what kind of women will bring the best out of you" "what kind of woman will be indispensable to you"?

You might not know the answer to these questions. That's ok. That's why we date. Date alot, or as much as you can. With each date you'll hone in better on your perfect girl. Age is very subjective and an unreliable metric for dating compatibility. Hell, education level is a better metric. A 35 year old woman can still be dependent on daddy for everything while a 22 yearold caan be completely independent. Who is more mature?

Get out there and meet some women. All sorts. Then tell us what age or type works best for YOU.

Attracting women is no easy task.

Good luck.

GQ

 

[Mitchell]

Thanks.,

GQ has an interesting viewpoint.

All I know is this: The type of person, however old she is, that will work best for me, is a very calm, non judgemental, open minded person, with a reasonable family. I would not be comfortable at all with the type of person who is very critical of my fetishes, etc, or that had a family that is going to bust my balls, about why I'm going to be 42, and have never been married,. or why I dont see my father.

Most important to me is someone with a good heart, and who I can trust. If that person happens to come into my life, and she's 28, great. If shes 35, also good.

Mitch

 

[Bothersome]

Hah. I'm not exactly the best at giving dating advice, but from what I can tell, not being married isn't exactly the biggest thing to be ashamed of. In fact, I hear more people complaining about being married than not.

 

[Mitchell]

LOL, thanks, Bothersome.

I'm not ashamed of not being married. It's just..I feel like I want a partner in life, and children. I dont want to be alone for the rest of my life. I know that some people dont marry by choice. My not being married up until now, has been more circumstance, than choice.

Mitch

 

[Bothersome]

I don't think that anyone's life goes to plan.

I never plan on being married, but I never planned on living in a basement at 19 either; no matter how briefly this embarrassing setup is going to be in effect.

It's really all about finding the right girl, dude. Trust me on this, you REALLY don't want to rush into a marriage.

 

[goddess_nemesis]

An age range should be something that you're comfortable with, but try not to eliminate someone just because they're out of the range. And if a wife and children are what you want as the end result, then keep in mind having children even in your 30s for a woman can be difficult. A woman's childbearing prime is her 20s.

 

[Mitchell]

Bothersome, I understand what you're saying. Trust me, even in spite of my age, I wont be pushing the "panic button" when it comes to marriage. If the girl isnt the right person, I wont marry her.

nemesis, I understand what you're saying, although I do think that a girl.. say.. 30 to 33 or 34 would have no issue with having children.. medically. I would be uncomfortable if I found someone closer to 40, because I know at that point there can be real issues.

Mitch

 

[3xPIN]

The formula has been explained to me as such:
A= your age
P= minimal acceptable dating age for partner

A/2+7= P (Round up)

For instance: I am 29, so 29/2=14.5, round up to 15, 15+7=22. Therefor, according to the formula I shouldn't date anyone under 22. Just a simple reference chart. Not to be taken too seriously. But, not that bad a formula.

 

[Mitchell]

K, pin, so you're basically saying what someone else did.

My age (42 in January) divided by 2, plus seven, would mean I should look for someone around 28. 28 wouldnt seem unreasonable. My realistic guess, would be someone between like ages 27 and 32, etc.

Mitch

 

[Bothersome]

Well, that formula gives the minimum you should look for.

However, it says that my minimum is 17, which is legally wrong.

 

[nikki16.parker]

Thanks for the replies.

Mystic, Ironically, I was talking about this with my mom a couple of days ago. She told me she thinks the youngest I should realistically date is 28, which, come January 23, will be the half my age plus seven formula that you mentioned.

Pied, 41 and living with a 29 year old sounds cool. You mentioned your HS sweetheart being born when her mom was 44. I have a close friend whose mother had him when she was 38, and his sister when the mother was 42. Now, the sister is going to to be 38, and the mother 80, and I can tell you, that my friend's sister resents her "old mother". That, however, isnt the topic, so sorry if I'm digressing.

I appreciate the insight.

Mitch

Not very helpful, but my birthday is January 23rd ! 😀

 

[TickVix]

I wish you the best in finding that special lady Mitch. I mean they say age is nothing but a number, but the reality is that age can matter to a lot of people. When I was 21 my rule of thumb was I wouldn't date a man no more than 5 yrs older than I. Now 28 I don't know what my rule of thumb is lol. All I know is I'm not allowing age to dictate who I care for So all I'm saying is enjoy dating and all the rest will fall into place. Much luck to you Hun

 

[Mitchell]

Thanks for your good wishes, Vix.

I see what you're saying how at 21 you wouldnt date a man more than 5 yrs older than you, but now perhaps changing that thought.

Ideally, I'd hope to find someone younger than 36 or 37, due to the children factor that was discussed previously. . My feeling is that say.. 10 to 12 years younger would be a perfect age. However, I have to see what happens once I get back into the dating scene.

Mitch

 

[Leo tickles]

Exactly what GQ said. Anybody over 18 is fair game. Once you figure out what type compliments you and find her, it won't matter to her that you are 41, and it won't matter to you that she is 18. If that's what should happen of course.

I'm 22, but if I end up single at 40 or so I'd date anybody that I have compatibility with, meaning that they need to be intelligent enough to realize that me being 40 and them possibly younger means I'll probably die before them.

It's a tough question, but only the girl can answer it for you. Get out there and find her.

 

[Mitchell]

Thanks for your insight, Leo.

While I understand what you're saying, I dont think I'd realistically be comfortable dating anyone who is 18. Aside from the whole "perspective of life" thing, my concern would be that someone that age wouldnt be ready for a life commitment. People are marrying older nowadays, as we know, and I'm at the age where if I found the right person, I would want to settle down.

I do plan to go and find her.. soon. Such is why I wanted to post this thread to get the whole "age" opinion thing.

Mitch

 

[kis123]

The answer is.......

Whoever you relate to well, have common ground with, and makes you happy.

For me that man is at least 10 years older than me (I'm 48). My husband was 15 years my senior (I was 26 and he 41) and we did well for several years until he went crazy! My current beau is 16 years my senior at 64

I tried to make it work with a younger guy a few years ago but he just wasn't mature and strong enough for me. I'm four years older than him but it felt like I'm dealing with a child for some strange reason.

Do you Mitchell; if that means a 22 year old or a 52 year old. If she makes you happy and make her happy it really doesn't matter at the end of the day.

 

[Mitchell]

Thanks for the insight, kis. I appreciate the thought.

Mitch

 

[locker669]

I heard the half your age plus seven rule before. I think there is a "no one under 25 if your over 30" rule too.

 

[3xPIN]

Well, that formula gives the minimum you should look for.

However, it says that my minimum is 17, which is legally wrong.

Well you are 20 then, you shouldn't have any trouble finding someone over 17. Or maybe you are nineteen. If so, 19 year old dating a 17 year old is no biggie. As for 'legal', this is just dating we are talking about right? Besides, common sense does still apply.