I've got bad new for you. There will always be more 'lers.

[brotherted]

I don't know of other fetishes that have this problem to the same degree.

I may be wrong, but it seems anyway like there might be rough parity in doms and subs. And even with other fetishes where there may be a gender imbalance -- from dressing up in certain costumes, to bondage generally, to hypnotism... most vanilla people don't enter the conversation about it, "hating" it.

But in our case, where there are some great 'lees out there, and I've known my share... it's vastly more often that you'll meet someone new who will say "I hate to be tickled."

 

[luvgirlsfeet]

Sad but true

 

[SmallTown]

True. Most are ticklers. I'm about 85% 'lee and I enjoy giving a good tickling but not near as much as having someone tickle torture me.

 

[Snuzzlebumble]

I've noticed a lot of people who I've met who hate being tickled is because of past experiences; people tickling them nonconsensually and not respecting them when they tell them to stop. It's unfortunate.

 

[KitzelPixie]

I noticed this too, which surprised me because tickling feels SO good (to me)...but a traumatic experience can change that (and it has for many). I've played with a few people who used to be 'lers only...now they are switches lol. It's amazing what changes when you show them a "nice" tickle, how it can build up slowly and produce waves of pleasure. I've converted a few, but clearly we have more work to be done LOL.

I also wonder if the gender difference is artificially inflated because more men talk about this fetish than women do? I'm one of few ladies on here (comparatively) it seems, and yet in person I know more women that enjoy tickling than men. They don't call it a fetish...but they do it to their partners constantly and find it exciting/arousing...not sure where the line is but I feel like we are under-represented somehow lol.

 

[RevyBL]

I guess from the fetish standpoint that may be. But, outside of that I've never had that issue, I've been able to tickle every woman I've come across without any issues.

 

[Luvleetumee]

A lot of TMF's tickling discussions have to do with male lers and their experiences/fantasies with female lees. Clearly men aren't more likely to be lers, but on the outside it can look that way.

 

[TheMasterTouch]

I've noticed a lot of people who I've met who hate being tickled is because of past experiences; people tickling them nonconsensually and not respecting them when they tell them to stop. It's unfortunate.

Fortunately, I haven't yet encountered someone who hated it. But if I did, and we were connecting emotionally and so forth, I would try to get to the bottom of why she hated it. Maybe I could show her that it can be fun if she's tickled by someone who does respect her limits and wants to make it enjoyable for her. Sometimes you can help a person get over a bad experience by reintroducing it to them in a different context. Any kind of bad experience, not just a bad experience with tickling.

 

[MistressTickleM]

yes, we lers will always be around looking for the next willing lee. As a female ler, I love looking for signs.. And if I hear male laughter... hmmmm

 

[Wolf]

I noticed this too, which surprised me because tickling feels SO good (to me)...but a traumatic experience can change that (and it has for many). I've played with a few people who used to be 'lers only...now they are switches lol. It's amazing what changes when you show them a "nice" tickle, how it can build up slowly and produce waves of pleasure. I've converted a few, but clearly we have more work to be done LOL.

I also wonder if the gender difference is artificially inflated because more men talk about this fetish than women do? I'm one of few ladies on here (comparatively) it seems, and yet in person I know more women that enjoy tickling than men. They don't call it a fetish...but they do it to their partners constantly and find it exciting/arousing...not sure where the line is but I feel like we are under-represented somehow lol.

Pretty much hit the nail on the head, there; it's not that there aren't female 'lees out there, there are a lot - they just don't think of themselves as 'lees, they just like tickling and find it arousing.

 

[Gamelover]

I noticed this too, which surprised me because tickling feels SO good (to me)...but a traumatic experience can change that (and it has for many). I've played with a few people who used to be 'lers only...now they are switches lol. It's amazing what changes when you show them a "nice" tickle, how it can build up slowly and produce waves of pleasure. I've converted a few, but clearly we have more work to be done LOL.

I also wonder if the gender difference is artificially inflated because more men talk about this fetish than women do? I'm one of few ladies on here (comparatively) it seems, and yet in person I know more women that enjoy tickling than men. They don't call it a fetish...but they do it to their partners constantly and find it exciting/arousing...not sure where the line is but I feel like we are under-represented somehow lol.

Tickling has been used against me to humiliate me in ways to make me seem weak or small, a joke even. Done by people who were family however did not care how i felt about it and even said i was selfish, despite them laughing at me. I was angry and the experience was a very sour time for tickling for me. My enjoyment plummeted for a time and it came close that i wasn't into it anymore. I mean to say I see how trauma behind it can play a highly destructive role and that is a shame.

 

[TickleYeti]

yes, we lers will always be around looking for the next willing lee. As a female ler, I love looking for signs.. And if I hear male laughter... hmmmm

Hahaha maybe we'll meet some day, apparently my "switchness" is a super power or at least an advantage in the search for tickle friends! 🙂 Maybe you'll finally be the one who can make me tapout and use a safeword, so far not been broken yet! [emoji14]

Sent from my Z982 using Tapatalk

 

[TickleYeti]

I've noticed that too, makes me glad to be a switch because I love being tickled as much, if not more, than doing the tickling, though I do rather enjoy that too bahaha

Sent from my Z982 using Tapatalk

 

[AquaFeline]

'lees seem more common at parties.

 

[hiphophooray4]

I noticed this too, which surprised me because tickling feels SO good (to me)...but a traumatic experience can change that (and it has for many). I've played with a few people who used to be 'lers only...now they are switches lol. It's amazing what changes when you show them a "nice" tickle, how it can build up slowly and produce waves of pleasure. I've converted a few, but clearly we have more work to be done LOL.

I also wonder if the gender difference is artificially inflated because more men talk about this fetish than women do? I'm one of few ladies on here (comparatively) it seems, and yet in person I know more women that enjoy tickling than men. They don't call it a fetish...but they do it to their partners constantly and find it exciting/arousing...not sure where the line is but I feel like we are under-represented somehow lol.

And what area do those ladies happen to live in? Lol

 

[Ghostwriter727]

There's definitely a gender divide in this kink of ours as well as a difference between "tops" and "bottoms". To keep things on the up, and up I would try to appeal to a persons zest for being touched, and playfully institute the tickling dynamic to them.

Much of the preference for being the ler comes down to a very primal desire to stay in control, and to not become embarrassed, or made a joke of.
This has happened to many of us as some lers either don't respect the boundaries, or they play harder than the lee is up to.

I guess this is why communicating, and honesty plays a big role in the beginning because as a lee or a ler the players having a good time is of the highest importance; at least it is if you want to have another session.

Its a tricky game when we play with "vanilla's" because they probably don't see tickling the same way that people like us do, but if we can show them with patience, moderation, and persuasion that this can be fun, and even therapeutic; we are learning to use our power for the right reasons.

Pride, and control can be a pretty hard wall to step around in terms of tickling, or playing fetish games, but if we play on the skeptical persons terms and show them that we mean well in the long run; there might be progress to be made.

At the end of the day for me it doesn't come down to mere statistics; its a way to play, and build trust with another human being.👈

Every scenario, and session is different.
Play nice; play twice.
And if tickling doesn't interest some people; thats okay as well. I think we will live to tickle another day.😉

Don't focus too hard on the shallow numbers, or the lack of enthusiastic lers and lees out there.
Learn to grow even with a superpower like being passionate about tickling, and enjoy the journey.