Lee or Ler?

[sadi]

Short question: do you consider yourself a 'lee or a 'ler? Do you think your choice is 'better', or that one side is inherently "good" or the other "bad," conversely?
Do you think one choice is "easier" than another? (There 'is' a message - a point- lying somewhere inside my brain, trying to come out into my consciousness "somehow.")

Personally, I think it is 'much' easier to be a 'ler than a 'lee; offensive, proactive is easier - better - than defensive, 'perceived' weaker 'lee. Because, honestly, I'm a scaredy cat and can't see myself allowing myself to be vulnerable enough to be a 'lee.

Lee's, for better or worse, you're a godsend to us choosing to take the "aggressive" role. You allow some 'random' person to get drastically inside your personal space and violate it, irreparably (if the experience is as positive as both parties hope).
Either virtual or real, (going to use terms relating to physical interaction) you give the opportunity for someone else to become the 'puppet master' of your body, directing the basest motions of your limbs and person. Regardless your efforts - or maybe because of them - you give up control of even your vocal chords, giving us reign to even what sounds come out of your mouth.

All it takes is one 'minimal' action to irreparably destroy the experience - and possibly your life (if not something worse), if you so choose to donne the formidable (again, still stigmatized "weaker") role of ticklee. It takes only a fraction of a moment for overwhelming joy to crash into: abuse; sexual molestation; rape; escalating violence; and potential murder, even.
Heh. Makes me think of another role where people take this risk every day/night of their working lives. But back on track...

Strong Type-A, insecure person I am, I see the choice of: ticklee or tickler, as a near no-brainer. 'Ler all the way.

Always better to be in control; at the hands of the wheel, versus risking the unknown, not being able to dictate what's happening. Giving control to someone else, I may be able to escalate the levels of joy to realms I never could dream of achieving on my own, but, the flip side is "all" those negative possibilities happening, too.

To reiterate again, I am a 'ler, because I am 'worlds' more comfortable being one versus the scare of giving someone else control of my basest human functions (as much as the reactions elicited are enjoyable, doing so).

So, do 'you' consider yourself to be a "'ler" or "'lee", and why so, in this 'black OR white' question?
And, why, if you care to elaborate any more? Curious to discover if any other people who have not been relegated to the field of 'ler for medical/genetic purposes have similar sentiments as myself.

I'm a control freak - I'm a tickler.
I'm a scaredy cat - I'm a tickler.
I'm mean, but not really - I'm a tickler.
I absolutely 'love' to make people happy, and see this as the easiest/most effective way to put a smile on their face - I'm a tickler.
It gives me an adrenalin rush - I'm a tickler.
For these reasons and so many more, I associate myself more with being a 'ler than a 'lee.

Your thoughts? Opinions?

 

[dude123]

I'm a switch, but I'm definitely more of a 'lee. I don't think it is easier to be one or another, really. In fact, I take the opposite view of you, Sadi, many times in that I feel bad to be 'lee sometimes because I feel like I'm receiving so much more than I'm giving. I've been told that isn't the case from my lers, but it is my initial thinking. It's really all in what you get the most out of!

 

[sadi]

I'm a switch, but I'm definitely more of a 'lee. I don't think it is easier to be one or another, really. In fact, I take the opposite view of you, Sadi, many times in that I feel bad to be 'lee sometimes because I feel like I'm receiving so much more than I'm giving. I've been told that isn't the case from my lers, but it is my initial thinking. It's really all in what you get the most out of!

Hm. Yes, that 'is' true, dude and I see your point. While, yes, it is likely very true that one can experience/display that attitude when they enact the role of 'lee almost solely, if people see it as such, then you simply don't engage with such people if they 'rub' you the wrong way, or feel you do, them.
Being genetically predisposed a certain way, yes, it is quite difficult to be all-or-nothing, but I don't like it when I'm not in control - period.
And I think it's because I have a complex of sorts. 😀

Thank you very much for your input! Forgot about that perspective.

 

[sockticklingguy1]

In order to get tickled it only makes sense to give a tickle, I think. If I am having my shoes slipped off and my feet are going to be tickled, the first thing I am thinking of is taking her shoes off and giving her a good tickle. It is difficult to give up control and become a lee, however if you like being tickled I guess you just have to let someone tickle you that you can trust. Part of the fun of being tickled is giving up control!

 

[Numbah-1]

I would definitely chalk myself up on the 'ler side. I'm not ticklish - uhh well, I dont think I am - so theres really only one sure fire option. I dont think I would be afraid to try being a 'lee because IDK if I am or not. As far as "bad" side to tickling, I just could not even fathom how being a 'lee would be that side of this coin. As long as its consensual and not like pure torture - ok, maybe being a 'lee would be scary as F***! - not sure there is a "bad" side.

 

[sadi]

It's just that uncertainty, when you're dealing with some one you don't know - and trust - implicitly, that their emotions (or something less desirable) will get out of control, suddenly turning things on their head.

socktingling - yes, that is part of the rush, I guess, but, doesn't make it any 'less' unnerving when you actually have to give 'up' that control (unless you're debilitatingly ticklish, in which case it only is a matter of how much you might reminisce over the actions afterwards).

 

[Ticklishz]

I am a switch for sure. In the cyber/rp world I tend to enjoy being the lee more but in real life its 50/50. Not sure why that is btw.

 

[TicklishBlackGuy]

For me to be a lee or ler is about alot of things:

1) Trust: I can't just let anyone tickle me or just tickle anyone because in my mind its like making an everylasting bound with someone. Its a way that brings us closer to each other and we build on that bond. I have made so many friends just be learning to trust them enough for us to lee an ler each other. Then again some things i just can't handle, such as being tickled by guys. Its not just bout the arousal affect, but the fact is i'm not comfortable with being tickled by one, and even though i'm laughing i'm not having fun. Which is why i can't do m/m tickling, can't even watch it because it disturbs me so.

2) Control: I am very defiant and sometimes it can get me in trouble. So I can choose to either feed off that deviancy and take control as a ler or get controlled as a lee. Sometimes I choose to trick folks with my defiance and still take control even though it looks like I want to be controlled too (if that makes sense.)

3) Relief: I don't mean in a sexual way, but in a stress relieving way. Because I am the kind of person to take on so much and put it all on my shoulders like I'm suppose to I get stressed out. If i do too much and not enough good results I get stressed out. This is were me being a lee or ler can also come into play. Frustration means I can very well be at my worse as a ler. Being sad, or upset, down about something sends me into a super leeish state that usually is hard to break after a while. Either way after all is said and done I feel better, and the person has had a good laugh. I have forgotten my troubles and now can get on with my life.

so what am i? I am a switch, someone who loves to tickle and be tickled. Yeah I am nervous with some people tickling me or tickling them at first, i'm not good at starting off talking bout tickling because I can't do it. But i love the feel of being in control, dominate, evil, and making a person laugh. And I love it in vis versa, being controlled, trusting that person enough to be in there hands for that time and knowing something won't go wrong. So I am both, proud of it

 

[TKLVR181]

Like it says over there on the left, I'm 100% of whatever I feel like at the time, aka a total switch. I ler hard and somewhat mercilessly (nothing hotter for me than desperation of my lee!), and I lee totally and powerlessly. I'm an odd one in that lerring and leeing are two totally different things for me--I take completely different things away from them.

As a ler it is, of course, about the power-I get one helluva rush hearing a desperate lee and totally ignoring their pleas for mercy (short of safewording out--I'm absolutely strict about honoring safewords). The more embarrassed and helpless my lee feels, the greater rush of power I feel. Lerring can be a totally playful thing for me, but it's often a sexual experience too.

I'm totally different as a lee. Leeing for me is about pretty much what Dragon said---trust, control, and relief. When I first found TT and the tickling community in general I was all 'ler. I'm disabled IRL and at the time I found the community, was just coming out of a bad situation that had me nearly suicidally depressed, so naturally what I needed was control over some aspect of my life (though I'd been getting 'butterflies' from the thought of tickling as long as I can remember--the butterflies scared me and I avoided tickling situations, much to my present-self's chagrin).

When I realized, a year or so after joining TT, that I wanted to 'lee too, I had mixed reactions. Most of my friends helped, and are still helping, me not feel self conscious about wanting that lack of control. A few people (who aren't active around here anymore) reacted by teasing me about the weakness--I'm sure at the time they meant it well, but I wasn't in a place to take it well.

Because of this and other negative experiences irl, sometimes I still get ashamed about my lee side. I suppose that's why I lee like I do-utterly playfully. I have a humiliation fetish, and as a 'ler that comes out in the typical sexual way. As a lee, however, it manifests in a love of playful tickling and being verbally teased until I'm so flustered I can't think straight :blush It's a rush and a thrill, and the lighthearted aspect of tickling reminds me, I suppose, that it's -safe- to be a little helpless. That's how I'd sum up leeing for me--the desire to be simultaneously safe and helpless.

Aha, sorry about the novel ^^; Just something I've thought a lot about, I guess.

~K

 

[larichmond]

I don't think it's easy to say one ('ler or 'lee) is better than the other. I suppose if being tickled really freaks you out, it's clear that it's better to be a 'ler. If you feel bad for making someone laugh uncontrollably because they are being tickled mindless... well, then it would be better to be a 'lee.

As for me, I would say I am a switch, definitely... I love tickling and being tickled. But I feel like I lean towards 'lee. I say this because when I'm tickling someone, after a little while of mercilessly tickling, I start to get a little envious of my 'lee and wish I was in their position...

I also think that it is an interesting point to bring up the proactivity of the 'ler. I feel like, in this case, it is better to be a 'lee, because you can just sit back and relax and not do anything except laugh. Maybe I'm just lazy... 😛

One more thing - I would never be a 'lee to someone I did not know or trust. As stated earlier, that could be potentially very dangerous, as a 'ler could cross that very fine line...

 

[TicklishBlackGuy]

Like it says over there on the left, I'm 100% of whatever I feel like at the time, aka a total switch. I ler hard and somewhat mercilessly (nothing hotter for me than desperation of my lee!), and I lee totally and powerlessly. I'm an odd one in that lerring and leeing are two totally different things for me--I take completely different things away from them.

As a ler it is, of course, about the power-I get one helluva rush hearing a desperate lee and totally ignoring their pleas for mercy (short of safewording out--I'm absolutely strict about honoring safewords). The more embarrassed and helpless my lee feels, the greater rush of power I feel. Lerring can be a totally playful thing for me, but it's often a sexual experience too.

I'm totally different as a lee. Leeing for me is about pretty much what Dragon said---trust, control, and relief. When I first found TT and the tickling community in general I was all 'ler. I'm disabled IRL and at the time I found the community, was just coming out of a bad situation that had me nearly suicidally depressed, so naturally what I needed was control over some aspect of my life (though I'd been getting 'butterflies' from the thought of tickling as long as I can remember--the butterflies scared me and I avoided tickling situations, much to my present-self's chagrin).

When I realized, a year or so after joining TT, that I wanted to 'lee too, I had mixed reactions. Most of my friends helped, and are still helping, me not feel self conscious about wanting that lack of control. A few people (who aren't active around here anymore) reacted by teasing me about the weakness--I'm sure at the time they meant it well, but I wasn't in a place to take it well.

Because of this and other negative experiences irl, sometimes I still get ashamed about my lee side. I suppose that's why I lee like I do-utterly playfully. I have a humiliation fetish, and as a 'ler that comes out in the typical sexual way. As a lee, however, it manifests in a love of playful tickling and being verbally teased until I'm so flustered I can't think straight :blush It's a rush and a thrill, and the lighthearted aspect of tickling reminds me, I suppose, that it's -safe- to be a little helpless. That's how I'd sum up leeing for me--the desire to be simultaneously safe and helpless.

Aha, sorry about the novel ^^; Just something I've thought a lot about, I guess.

~K

you sure we ain't twins lol

 

[toonicycle]

I'm definitely a switch.

I think being a lee is great because I'm totally under my ler's control. She decides what to do, when to do it and how long to do it for. I'm pretty big into being submissive for my girlfriend though, so this just is perfect for her ler side. I also feel very loved and taken care of as a lee because the ler takes the time to get to know my body. They learn exactly where I'm the most sensitive, and how to use that knowledge to make me scream and laugh in pleasure.

Being a ler is a ton of fun too. My girlfriend is so cute when she's the lee. She is squirming and giggling and smiling and laughing. It feels good to give someone so much pleasure and happiness. I have a foot fetish, so getting to worship and pamper her feet is also a big part of our sex life. The tickling works its way into the worship and the worship works its way into the tickling. Using baby oil and a brush on my lee's feet and hearing her laugh and scream and enjoy herself is really great!

 

[oldskool]

I'm a switch.

It really just depends. It's true most lee's probably don't enjoy the tickling as much as the ler. That's not always the case though. I have talked to Ler's who have had lee's who after hours of tickling still want more. I think it comes down to is how the Lee feels the tickling. For some it brings laughter, and enjoyment. Others it's horrible, and they scream, and cry. As a Ler I do not get turned on by screaming or crying. It's disturbing.

Sometimes it is more enjoyable to be a Lee. If you have a really good top that wants to tease, and torture you but also stay within your limits & pleasure you it would be a lot of fun. All you really have to do is sit back, and have fun while the Ler has to do all the work.

Being a Ler is also great. It's a lot of fun to have that kind of control, and also funny to make someone laugh their ass off by just wiggling your fingers. It's also nice to see someone trembling with pleasure, and completely under your control.

 

[MrTicklefeet1]

Do we really have to choose? Both are so much fun.

 

[wolfman40]

I'm a switch, it's important to share the fun 🙂

 

[sockticklingguy1]

Sadisticktickler, I got it. The only way I can handle being tickled is through my socks. If you want to try being tickled with out letting things get out of control, have your ler agree to not take your socks off. Have them put in righting if you have to. Hehe! Get your thickest socks and see if you can handle it. Let us know if it works.