Lees: Do you ever feel awkward when you have to ask your partner?

[CrystalLight]

.. to play with you that is.

In my opinion , it can feel a bit empowering. But with submissive tendencies , I sometimes feel a little out of my comfort zone.


Any feedback is greatly appreciated. 🙂

 

[iloveddub]

I feel awkward either way. It does get easier with a consistent partner. As a ler, its hard to find a guy willing to be bound and tickled senseless. As a lee, I don't even know how to ask. I guess that's why I'm here. We can discuss "play" safely. I am much more ler though, so you could ask me...safely. 🙂 I don't bite...well a little, but you'd like it.

 

[cue]

Mmm...not really. I don't even really have to say anything to my hubby, who is my 'ler. If I feel the need for a 'fix', I just either tell him or else I just sort of lift my shirt up a bit to expose my ribs, which he knows is my biggest tickle hotspot. Other times I just simply tell him pointblank: "I need a 'fix'." I guess it's easier for me 'cause it's my sweet, beloved husband and we've been together for 20 years.

But I can see how it could intimidating to others who are just dating or haven't revealed their tickling preferences.

 

[voided9]

As a lee, honestly I've never had to ask so I don't know how it would feel. My previous boyfriends really liked torturing me, and as a switch, I initiated it a lot by doing it to them first. With my husband, he knows when I want it, which is pretty much always. Never had to ask him, I don't think 30 minutes ever goes by where he doesn't do it at least a little. And he likes the real restrained torture usually every night.

As a ler, I have had boyfriends ask me to torture them before, it wasn't awkward at all. I love it!

 

[iloveddub]

As a lee, honestly I've never had to ask so I don't know how it would feel. My previous boyfriends really liked torturing me, and as a switch, I initiated it a lot by doing it to them first. With my husband, he knows when I want it, which is pretty much always. Never had to ask him, I don't think 30 minutes ever goes by where he doesn't do it at least a little. And he likes the real restrained torture usually every night.

As a ler, I have had boyfriends ask me to torture them before, it wasn't awkward at all. I love it!

I can say I'm more than a little jealous.

 

[chicago]

I tend to ask for it without really asking for it. Not a fan of actually coming right out and saying "Can you tickle me?"

Not only would I feel like an awkward weirdoooo but it would kinda take half the fun out of it.

 

[ticklishguy1985]

but it would kinda take half the fun out of it.

Asking does kind of take some of the fun out of it for me as well.

When acting as a lee, I prefer to let a partner know I'm ticklish and it is something I enjoy. Most don't seem to think twice about it. The times I have actually asked to be tickled, I have felt a little self-conscious about it. However, as the ler I don't think I've ever really have asked if I could tickle someone.

 

[mopug]

I don't feel awkward to ask for it because my girl isn't into tickling, so it's just something that needs to be done. Every now and then I get it without asking for it, but it's usually because I'm doing something to get it (such as being a shit head).

 

[Edward_]

I've always felt very awkward asking someone to tickle me. I'm much happier with someone not asking and just tickling me a lot, or asking to tickle me.

 

[MrTicklee]

Hey Crystal. I understand what you mean (I think lol). There are times I am sitting there thinking to myself, I really wish she would just tickle me, but nothing comes out of my mouth. Whether it be my own insecuries or something else, I don't know.

I realize I didn't provide a solution to your problem...but, I can relate.

 

[milagros317]

I don't have to ask Goddess Shelly because an hour or more of tickle torture is part of our routine every time we have a session.

 

[Flatfoot]

Not a fan of actually coming right out and saying "Can you tickle me?"

Not only would I feel like an awkward weirdoooo but it would kinda take half the fun out of it.

^This, basically. It removes the spontaneity, as well as the spirit of the whole love-hate aspect, for me. I don't like my bedroom play to be like something ordered from a drive-thru menu.

 

[Lostcause13]

This might seem odd since im a 'ler so let me know if im just talking crazy (more than normal) but I kinda like being asked for it without asking. Any girl im involved with and have seen more than like twice has probably figured out how i deal with sassiness in all forms, so if theyre trying to flirt they do something that they know will get them tickled. Thats my favorite, Ive only ever had a session with one Lee who had a fetish also so take that with a grain of salt

 

[Deleted member 2452]

yes.

steve

 

[BellaRisa]

I tend to ask for it without really asking for it. Not a fan of actually coming right out and saying "Can you tickle me?"

Not only would I feel like an awkward weirdoooo but it would kinda take half the fun out of it.

This. After 21 yrs with Bill and 14 with the Shark I still cannot and will not just ask, there's something just joyless and deflating about it; The Shark wondered about it since I'm not exactly shy, and I explained it's like planning your own surprise party; you get what you want but there's something unsatisfying about it. I have little signals and types of behavior that they understand means I want...whatever I want at the time; more fun and much more natural for me 😈

 

[Comfort Eagle]

Never. Not once. If anything I've found a way to pull of asking to be tickled and look like an alpha doing it.

It's pretty great being me.

 

[RdmNm]

^This, basically. It removes the spontaneity, as well as the spirit of the whole love-hate aspect, for me. I don't like my bedroom play to be like something ordered from a drive-thru menu.

I feel the same way.

Yes, I would like a pair of feet tickled, a full set of ribs tickled and underarm tickling with some taunting on the side, thanks.

The challenge is explaining the purpose of the bondage. 😉 ...ummm yea, the bondage is there to immobilize one of us while the other one does the first thing that comes to mind. 😀

I don't like having to explain anything at all, but unfortunately some potential playmates have never even heard of tickling as a turn-on/fetish and have no idea what to do without some sort of explanation or at least lots of heavy hints!!!

 

[JoePTickle]

It's awkward the first time... but once she knows, never after. As long as the fun involves meeting her needs too.

 

[porcelaindoll2]

I will ask sometimes, but then again I can be a bit of a brat and have a nasty habit of topping from the bottom. Although most of time my bf/switch will ask if I want it or he'll just randomly do it.

 

[Skipadeedoodah]

Add me to the "ask for it without asking for it" list. It doesn't feel awkward at all to do it that way.

That said, there have been a few times recently when I've surprised the shit out of myself and just flat out said, "Will you tie me up and play with me?" (in this case, "play with me" can and does encompass a variety of different activities, but we both know that tickling is at the center of it all) and contrary to what I expected, it didn't feel awkward at all. I guess if it had been met with hesitation or lack of enthusiasm it might have felt weird, but since it wasn't, it didn't.

I think it depends entirely on the dynamic of the relationship. If it's a natural part of your relationship to ask and be asked for whatever is wanted in that moment and those requests are always met with an eagerness to please on both ends, nothing will feel awkward about it. But if your relationship is based more on nonverbal cues and kind of reading eachother's body language to figure out wants and needs, then yeah, it would feel super awkward for me. I probably would never do it.

 

[Musicroxmysox]

Yea I totally can't ask or feel like I can talk about it....it's so awkward and I'm very shy about it, and such and such...but I know what you mean when you say you just want it and have to find a way to clue in your guy...they can be a bit thick after all lol.

I'm working however, on telling what I need, because even during play you do sometimes have to direct and help your ler. 🙂

 

[guysmiley]

As a ler, I think it would be kinda sexy if a lee were to ask. Or at least hint around that she wanted to be tickled.

 

[iloveddub]

My lee would never need to ask.

 

[tickledorange]

I never really want to ask, because I feel like if I do, I feel like I'm spoiling the fun of being the bottom. Also, if I did ask, I'd probably be subjected to something far more intense than what I asked for.

 

[iloveddub]

It's awkward the first time... but once she knows, never after. As long as the fun involves meeting her needs too.

Very awkward...but it improves as you get used to each other. 😉