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Lees - do you like to have a safe word?
- Thread starter Deneb1982
- Start date
xboxgamer2000
TMF Poster
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Well for me it is a safety thing. I will always have one. And i also prefer to have a safe word.
Sent from my Pixel 4a (5G) using Tapatalk
Sent from my Pixel 4a (5G) using Tapatalk
We're all different, but if I trust her enough to tie me up, I trust her enough to give her complete control. She will take care of my safety 😀
porcelaindoll2
2nd Level Violet Feather
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Yes I like to have it encase the shit hits the fan. My lees always have a safeword and I expect them to use it if something is really going awry i.e. they are having health related issues.
FrenzyTickles
TMF Master
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Agreed, because NO ONE is a mind reader.
If you're about to have a heart attack, or are starting to have one, or can't breathe....
Death by Tickling is entirely possible, and has probably happened --- but it's really more likely either of the above. Cardiac or respiratory difficulty.
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I think my ler should be able to tell if I'm in real trouble, or even just dial it down for a few seconds to check that I'm okay, but anything that gives me control over the session will reduce my enjoyment of it.
Ticklishspots
Registered User
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Yes - I have an emergency one and then a regular one. If the regular one is used too much then the Lee gets punished.
Mr. Nimbus
TMF Expert
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Yeah, its just good practice.
lostphilosopher
TMF Master
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Even as a ler, I'd feel more comfortable if the lee had one.
My problem is that there's not much distance between "stop" and my safeword, if I have one, so I'd rather not have one. The trust aspect is big too. I love being completely at a woman's mercy but also knowing I'm completely safe in her hands. Loss of control combined with safety and security is a really big turn-on for me 😀
brotherted
TMF Master
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I've never used a safe word with 'lees.
I've never had a problem distinguishing the tone difference between fun, intended distress and actual trauma. Nor have my 'lees ever complained that I kept going after real trauma set in.
I've never had a problem distinguishing the tone difference between fun, intended distress and actual trauma. Nor have my 'lees ever complained that I kept going after real trauma set in.
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FrenzyTickles
TMF Master
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And you've witnessed the onset of how many heart attacks, exactly?
Sounds like many have been lucky. Others may have just buried the bodies....
Even if you're a card-carrying Accredited Telepath, at least I'd hope it would be obvious if a lee says "PAIN" or "BREATHE" the Ler would stop.
And because people aren't necessarily thinking straight in these situations, (it may seem like common sense but not everyone is gifted in that department either....) 🙄
I'd at least hope THAT much would be discussed beforehand.
Or some gesture
if the lee is gagged. There should be SOME allowance for potentially lethal distress. Even if someone just gets a nasty cramp --- which can lead to other problems....
You're really going to know the difference? You've never seen it before (b/c it just hasn't happened) but you'll certainly recognize it.... Uh huh.
I'm sure no medical professional tickler worth any salt would promote such irresponsibility as no safety net whatsoever.
*
Sounds like many have been lucky. Others may have just buried the bodies....
Even if you're a card-carrying Accredited Telepath, at least I'd hope it would be obvious if a lee says "PAIN" or "BREATHE" the Ler would stop.
And because people aren't necessarily thinking straight in these situations, (it may seem like common sense but not everyone is gifted in that department either....) 🙄
I'd at least hope THAT much would be discussed beforehand.
Or some gesture
if the lee is gagged. There should be SOME allowance for potentially lethal distress. Even if someone just gets a nasty cramp --- which can lead to other problems....
You're really going to know the difference? You've never seen it before (b/c it just hasn't happened) but you'll certainly recognize it.... Uh huh.
I'm sure no medical professional tickler worth any salt would promote such irresponsibility as no safety net whatsoever.
*
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Tickleclown13
TMF Novice
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As a Ler, when I introduced my Wife (LEE) into this we made a safe word, since she was new to tickling and bondage. I felt it was necessary to give her sense of security and I also eased her into bondage and went by her comfort levels each time. Also note she has never used the safe word and I have had sessions of tickling her underarms Hardcore because she was not taking care of her feet at the time and they were not ticklish...big mistake lol.
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It's simply good practice.
I've had bound partners have muscle cramps, which pretty much demands a full on stop asap, and a safe word can offer that. I've had partners have a repressed trauma emerge while they are bound in a scene, and having a safe word is pretty key there to know to stop and give them proper attention. I've had partners have panic attacks while playing, and again, a safe word is pretty useful here.
Now cases such as the above are rare, and happen a very very small amount of the time. And it's easy to never encounter one, or think you never will, but it's better to be safe and have a way to handle it than not.
I've had partners that sound like they are literally dying the one million deaths as we play, but they are fine and enjoy it. But it's damned hard to tell their sound suite apart from true distress.
Myriads
I've had bound partners have muscle cramps, which pretty much demands a full on stop asap, and a safe word can offer that. I've had partners have a repressed trauma emerge while they are bound in a scene, and having a safe word is pretty key there to know to stop and give them proper attention. I've had partners have panic attacks while playing, and again, a safe word is pretty useful here.
Now cases such as the above are rare, and happen a very very small amount of the time. And it's easy to never encounter one, or think you never will, but it's better to be safe and have a way to handle it than not.
I've had partners that sound like they are literally dying the one million deaths as we play, but they are fine and enjoy it. But it's damned hard to tell their sound suite apart from true distress.
Myriads
I have no objection to safe words for other people if they want them - I just don't want one myself. I think a good ler knows when the lee is going over the edge and they need to stop or make it a bit more gentle. Discussion beforehand is important.
Luv2GetTickled
Guest
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Hell no I don't want a safe word! I want to get tickled to tears, until I pee and beyond, after I have an orgasm for at least 30 minutes of post-orgasm torture etc
TicklishFella
Registered User
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I always play with a safeword, but its seldom needed.
Skipadeedoodah
Level of Grape Feather
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I prefer not to play with a safeword when it comes to my partner for the reasons other people already shared. It feels more authentic and I like the lack of power. What people say about needing to stop for an emergency has happened, but we've always been able to communicate about it. There's a difference in the tone of, "stop stop stop" during playing and "stop there's a problem" for me, and he's always been able to read that immediately.
All that said, I would always be able to the use "red" to stop everything, with him or anyone else.
All that said, I would always be able to the use "red" to stop everything, with him or anyone else.
Sunriseticklee
4th Level Orange Feather
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Sure.... How else can I taunt my ler when I don't use it? 😀
No, but honestly... LOL Aside from taunting my ler, I think it is important for health and safety reasons for both the lee and the ler.
I realize that there are different strokes for different folks. I will ALWAYS have a safe word in place. Whether it is used or not doesn't matter.
No, but honestly... LOL Aside from taunting my ler, I think it is important for health and safety reasons for both the lee and the ler.
I realize that there are different strokes for different folks. I will ALWAYS have a safe word in place. Whether it is used or not doesn't matter.
Yeah, all lees are different. I just find that a safe word is always going to reduce the pleasure and thrill of the experience.
Sunriseticklee
4th Level Orange Feather
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Other things can also reduce the pleasure and thrill of the experience; like having an asthma attack during a session, or getting a huge leg cramp, or countless other things where a word quickly stops the play.
I'd LOVE to say that the LER is always watching and careful, but sometimes even the best lers get distracted or are stubborn (Ler looks like they are going to pass out because they are so tired, but won't stop because they just have to break me. Yeah... I'll say the safe word just for them. Take a break ler! It just isn't fun when everyone isn't having fun.)
On the flip side- If I'm in a long term, lasting relationship with someone who knows every inch of my body, the trust is enough. The last person I was with knew when I had enough sometimes before I did. Sometimes I'm stubborn too! LOL
I like to have one when I am being tickled. I don't say it unless I mean it though.
The one time I used it and the guy (an ex) kept tickling...yeah not cool. All was well that ended well, but yeah - gave him a right talking to afterwards!
The one time I used it and the guy (an ex) kept tickling...yeah not cool. All was well that ended well, but yeah - gave him a right talking to afterwards!
Skipadeedoodah
Level of Grape Feather
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While that is definitely the case for me with my partner, I feel like it's not fair to say that a safeword is ALWAYS going to reduce the pleasure and thrill. Some people will find playing without a safeword to feel unsafe and will struggle to enjoy the experience, because they don't feel secure in what could happen. I don't like using safewords, and yet if I was playing with someone other than my partner, I would insist on one. NOT having it would reduce my pleasure and thrill. Talk to your lees (and lers). Let them tell you what they need and what will make the experience most enjoyable for them.
