Loneliness and how to fight it...

[Camel26]

Dear Theater Family,

My beautiful Ler just took off yesterday on the summer of a lifetime--she's on a boat going around the world while studying called Semester at Sea. While I am incredibly proud of her for getting to go, and so happy for her as this is a once in a lifetime opportunity, I feel like someone gutted me and emptied me out, excpecting that I can still function normally without my other half. She'll be gone for more than 2 months, which doesn't seem like a lot, but when you've lived with someone for over a year, and have shared a life with them, this is a difficult time for us both.

So my question to you all is has anyone been separated from their spouse for an extended period of time and, if so, how did you deal with it? I can't stop crying and I'm physically ill from this whole thing. I need all the advice I can get.

If anyone is in Pittsburgh, I'm here...and looking to meet some new friends...so drop me a line!!!

Thank you in advance for any constructive advice you all can offer.

Lotsa love,

Camel

 

[-Kunoke-]

I havn't had the amazing chance to settle down with someone like that...so can't really help you there. What I can do is hope the best for you, and I hope someone comes along who CAN help you.

Hope you feel better.

 

[AphroditeRabbit]

Well, I live pretty far from Jeff. I talk to him on the phone and online. (Will she have a cell phone?) You have the right idea of getting new friends, but also preoccupy your mind with new hobbies, or ones long forgotten from being so busy. Plan a huge welcome back party for her! It'll help you stay close to her in a sense by planning things she would love, and making you feel as if you are doing something useful for her. (Yes I'm sure it won't take 2 months for a normal one, but we're talkin a FRICKIN SWEET ASS PARTY HERE!😀) I'm sure I'll think of more, but this is what comes to mind for now.

 

[Goodieluver]

This is semi joke\semi serious cuz i know it can help but to quote bluto from animal house
" My advice to you is to start drinking heavily. "

Other than that, keep yerself occupied with what makes you happy minus her. U have a pet?

 

[HOLLYWOOD]

you got a friend in the hollywood brother

Camel: the hollywood brother is glad she has went on this once in a lifetime experience. however the hollywood brother's heart is breaking for you. The hollywood brother do not know much but the hollywood brother knows pain and lonliness real well. The hollywood brother has learned there is no real cure although some good rocking and rolling with Twisted, sister, bon jovi, quiet riot and others do help. The hollywood brother think the real key is to be tough. The first week will be murder to you but as time passes, you will adjust to being alone. What you may want to concentrate on is that this is temporary and when she comes back, you two will be together 4 life. The hollywood brother knows you love her more than anything else in the world and the hollywood brother has always been so happy for you that you found love in your life. The reason you hurt now is due to love but just keep going on day in and day out. It sounds like plain advice but trust in the hollywood brother himself as he trusts and believes in you, it works. Keep yourself busy and carry on. The less time you have to ponder this, the less it can hurt you.

Now one last thing from the hollywood brother. Over time you will get less pain over her leaving but promise the hollywood brother that you will never grow cold in your heart like the hollywood brother has become. You are too dam good for that. The hollywood brother knows this will be the worst time in your life but at the end when you get to hold your baby in your arms, it will be the greatest thing in your life.

Good luck to you Camel. The hollywood brother always knew you had a good heart and hates to see it sad so please try to carry on and email me or call me. The hollywood brother may be a little more bitter now than years ago but the hollywood brother is still the stupid good old fashioned boy who knew you were having a bad day and brought you choclates one time just to make you smile. if you need that person, the hollywood brother is still right here.

 

[MistressValerie1]

Aphrodite's advice is excellent, and I would add that spending time with your IM friends can help a lot too 🙂

 

[GEORGIATKLER]

When Miss Ler Comes Sailing Home Again, Hurrah! Hurrah

Keep A Journal Of Your Thoughts And All The Many Things You Love/like/miss About Her. This May Seem Like Salt In The Wound, But Remember She Is Coming Back To You. You Can Use The Time Apart To Become Closer Upon Her Return. See If There Is Any Workk/study/reading Toward Yout P/t Degree You Can Throw Yourself Into. Get Plenty Of Sleep, Eat Right And Get Some Regular Exercise. We All Know That's Important, Especially When Under Extra Stree. E-mail,write( Enclose/exchange Polaroids) To Her Of Course And Talk On The Phone When Possible. Get A Calendar And Mark Off/ Count Down The Days Until She Returns, Putting A Special Thought Abount Her On Each Day( Goes Along With The Journal Idea.) Also, Please Dr. Humpster, Go Barefoot Whenever Possible. This May Not Make You Feel Better But Will Do Wonders For Ol' Gt!!!!!!!!!! Keep Your Chin Up And Your Cute Feet In My Padded Stocks. Bwaaaaaah!!!!!

 

[Melissa666]

Wanna know how to fight loneliness? Go to your physician and have him or her prescribe a nice valium supply! Works for me!

 

[Ross]

Hi, Camel, We've chatted before. While I dont have a significant other at the moment, I have gone through this in the past with relationships where I've had long seperations from girlfriends as a result of school, for summers, and what not. What I always did is to occupy whatever free time I had with any other friends or activities to pass the time. By all means, dont sit alone in your house or apartment and think about the time. It's summer, the weather is warm, go out for a walk, exercise, read, see a movie, make plans with friends, anything that will just keep your time occuipied so you dont keep thinking: OMG, I'm not going to see her for 2 months. That way, it should help the time go faster. I know seperation from significant other is hard, I've done it, but if you occupy your time with other activities, it should help pass the time.
I hope this advice helped. Good Luck, and take care,

Mitchell

 

[Cbarton]

My advice is simple: GET OUT OF THE HOUSE! don't just mope around...do SOMETHING!

 

[Goodieluver]

yeah what hawk said, yer a beautiful lass and although that may be negative(look at all the unwanted attention those models and celebs get) Im sure you'll find some people who may be able to keep ya occupied for the summer, discussing beowulf over a game of backgammon...or just eating packets of mustard in a back seat of a car, whatever floats the boat

 

[MayDay1]

Yeah, it'll tough for a few days but after a while you'll be ok. Just do like what's his face said and get out of the house. Do fun stuff, make new friends, make your pal MayDay a cake. Just know that she will be back and you'll be right as rain.

I like my cake with chocolate filling.

 

[coloman]

You have been given a lot of good advice to follow that will help you to cope with your girlfriends absense. Doing things with other friends or on your own will help the time to pass by quickly. You are happy for and proud of your girlfriend for being able to take advantage of the great educational opportunity she is enjoying now rather than being jealous and that's a big step in the right direction. If you have things to do you have put off for too long do some of them and that will give you another way to occupy your time. When I was in the Army I spent a year in Turkey and I missed my friends and life in the USA but I did my job and quickly came to realize there were forty-nine other guys where we were stationed that were in the same situation as me. It also made me realize how much we take for granted in our everyday lives in our country and I bet your girlfriend will find that out too in the two months she will be away from home. The two months will go by faster than you think and the two of you will be back together again before you know it so just hang in there and things will be fine.

 

[Camel26]

Thank you all for the wonderful advice...no, Hawkeye, I'm not sitting around moping...in fact, my friends have been coming by daily to check in and make sure I'm not moping! Plus, I had a performance yesterday at Pittsburgh Pride, and then went to the Indigo Girls concert...(gayest day ever!!!)

So, I think I might get a second job to take up some of the massive amounts of free time I have for the summer...who knows...I'm trying to write my first song...cuddling with my adorable 4 legged friend, etc...but thank you all so much for the love!!!!!!! Come visit me in Pittsburgh!!!

 

[deac956611]

Ite seems that there has been a lot of good advice given by some really sincere people here. I personally like the one given by Ahprodite Rabbit. The return of your ler/love will be well worth the party. Also, don't just sit in the house, do something constructive. Enjoy the tiem you have to yourself and get ready to give yourself completely to her when she returns. It is a great opportunity for one to be able to go and study gaining more knowledge and one should never ever stand in the way of that. I am sure you two are together because of the great affection and love you give to each other, so don't let it stop here. Just recharge the battery and get ready to show her the time of her life when she returns.

 

[shark]

If you're visiting, watch the potholes.....

 

[Camel26]

Yeah, it's that 4th season in Pittsburgh...kinda cold, cold, really cold, and construction/PennDOT. 😛

 

[shark]

At least the state bird is out in all its glory. (construction pylons)

 

[Camel26]

That beautiful orange and reflective plumage almost brings a tear of pride for my state to my eye...😛

 

[Dude'sonfire]

Beat loneliness? Heh buy a rampant rabbit vibrator. If you havent already of course.

 

[Camel26]

HA!!! Thank you for the suggestion....but I invested about $200 in some fabulous toys last summer...so I'm ok in that department...😉

 

[Dude'sonfire]

Ok lol, slow down here ... a) i'm already on a tickling forum, and b) I'm talking to a hot musician chick about vibrators.... I'll get far too turned on lol.

 

[Camel26]

You kidding? vibrators are one of my favorite topics of conversation!!! My friends actually own a women's toy company...so I have a bit of extra knowledge on the subject!!!

😉

 

[Dude'sonfire]

Hahaha, nice!! On the subject, apparently some japanese website called J-list.com has some of the most bizzare vibrators known to man.
Also lol i had this really funny idea once... You know those vibrators they make that are really quiet so that women can use them while you're out and about? lol I always thought it would be hilarious to make a practical joke one which when you turned it one on the bus or something would go "WEH! WEH! WEH!" like a smoke alarm hahahaha... or maybe that's just my twisted mind lol.

 

[Camel26]

I always wanted to get one of those super quiet ones that is built into your underwear and has a remote...and I wanted to give the remote to my ler...and go around campus/to class/wherever all day...with her in control...and me with no way to start/stop it...AMAZING!!!