Low_Roads
4th Level Black Feather
- Joined
- Nov 16, 2004
- Messages
- 8,999
- Points
- 48
... in which our hero and party contract a near-fatal dose of dance fever...
Fade in. It’s the following morning. The girls are once again saddled up and ready to ride.
Sleezie: Okay, path-finder. Which way now?
Dildo: According to Grandstaff, we stick to the trail. As long as no one screws around and does something stupid, we’ll make it safely through the Horny Hills. Once on the other side, we come to a log cabin in the woods. The owner will give us our next set of directions.
Sleezie: Then Talley-Ho!
The party starts off once more. They soon reach the Horny Hills and follow a narrow, winding, dangerous path into its suggestive terrain. The contours of the granite ridges and peaks resemble those of famous nude statuary: Michelangelo’s David, the Venus de Milo, Rodin’s The Kiss, etc.
Humpie: (looking into the vast darkness below) Wow! That sure is a long way down. I bet if I threw a rock over the side, it’d take ten minutes to hit the bottom.
Loosie: No way it would take that long!
Humpie: Only one way to find out.
She plucks a loose stone from the cliff wall and tosses it. After about 5 seconds of silence, a dull “clunk!” is heard, followed by a low, guttural, masculine “Owww!”
Loosie: See. I told you.
Humpie: You never know ‘til you try.
Long-shot of the party, perched high on the perilous mountain pass. As the trail nears a toothy cavern mouth, the dark, threatening sky unleashes a torrent of pelting rain.
Floozie: Hey! I’m not dressed for this!
Dildo: (ogling her wet blouse) Nonsense! You look fine!
Sleezie: You dirty little pervert! Quick, everybody into the cave!
Dildo: Hold it! Get back out here! A little rain’s not gonna kill you! (the sky erupts with a terrific lightning strike.) Make room for me!
Cut to the INTERIOR of the crowded cavern. It’s pitch black and only their voices can be heard.
Loosie: I can’t see a damned thing! Has anyone got a flashlight?
Floozie: I think I found one.
Dildo: That’s not a flashlight. But don’t let go!
Sound of a smacked face.
Afrodo: I guess we’re stuck here awhile. Might as well get comfortable.
Cut to the EXTERIOR of the cave. Rain water descends by the bucket.
Cut back to the INTERIOR. The faint sound of disco music is now audible.
Loosie: Anyone else hear that?
Afrodo: Sounds like someone’s gettin’ down!
Humpie: And it seems to be coming from the end of the tunnel! Could there possibly be a club way out here?
Floozie: You mean with drinks?!
Ditzee: And dancing?!
Gropie: And hot, hot studs?!
Several Girls: Let’s find it!
Dildo: Hold it! Hold it right there! Nobody wander off! We gotta be prepared to leave the moment this rain clears. I mean, we have responsibilities, right girls? (silence) Girls? Anybody there?
Cut to the back of the poorly illuminated tunnel. As the ladies enter, they’re immediately bathed in a kaleidoscope of colored light, coming from the entrance of a crudely-carved stone nightclub. A sign chiseled into the wall reads: “Studio 54”, with “54” rendered in Roman numerals. Underneath, it continues “5 Yellow Coin Cover Charge – Two Drink Minimum”. A huge, gargoyle-like bouncer, clad in an executioner’s hood, bars the door.
Loosie: Wow! Civilization!
Dildo: (entering in a huff) God dammit! Doesn’t anyone listen to me? (seeing the club) Jezzus Christ!
Gropie: I know! Ain’t it killer?
Dildo: That’s exactly my thought. Whatta dump! Looks like the perfect place to get your throat slit!
Humpie: Well it looks nice to me! And I’m going in! You with me, gals?
Everyone piles through the door. Dildo is left to face the bouncer.
Dildo: (calling after them) You know, I only got so much cash! Our travel allowance won’t go far at this rate! (Dildo reluctantly counts coins into the gargoyle’s open claw.) Fucking party girls!
Cut to the inside of the club. Music blares deafeningly and a mirror ball sends sparkling light in all directions. The girls instantly hit the dance floor. They gyrate with wild abandon, and are joined by a group of misshapen creatures who try a few crude moves of their own. These grotesques are obviously not human, but the thin disguise of rubber celebrity masks fools everyone.
Ditzee: What a toney joint! I just saw Burt Reynolds!
Gropie: And I just saw John Travolta!
Loosie: I saw two John Travoltas!
Ditzee: Ain’t it the most!
The lumbering gargoyles gradually advance until the girls are completely hemmed in.
Sleezie: (at long last getting wise) Uh, you’re crowding us a little, guys.
The monsters reach up with taloned hands and claw away their masks. All the girls huddle together in fright.
Humpie: Hey! What’s the gag?!
1st Gobblin: Cute chicks dig hot Gobblin men?
2nd Gobblin: Maybe you dig so much, you never want to leave!
Loosie: What the hell are you? Gobblins? I’ve never heard of Gobblins! What kind of a name is “Gobblins”? (the monsters leer with drooling, discolored fangs and loll their warty tongues in response.) Well that’s your opinion! (to the other girls) Don’t you think it’s a stupid name? Why would anybody call them that?
Cut: the same room, some time later. The girls have been suspended from the stone ceiling by padded manacles, as the Gobblins subject each one of them to licking, slobbery oral sex.
Afrodo: Knock it off, fucker! You’re not my type!
Dildo quails in a corner, a helpless witness to this outrage. The big bouncer crosses over to confront him.
Bouncer: Not thirsty tonight?
Cut to the Exit. Dildo’s body hurtles through the open door and hits the dirt hard.
Bouncer: No read sign? Two drink minimum! (turning back inside, muttering to himself) Dead-beat!
Dildo: (agitated, as he rises to wipe off the dust) What am I gonna do? What the hell am I gonna do? (pacing) This is bad! No, it’s worse than bad! Things couldn’t get nastier!
Suddenly he disappears from sight. The camera tilts down to show the dark circle of an open man-hole.
Next week – Scene 6: “Randy Rhyme Time”.
Link to Scenes 1 & 2: http://www.tickletheater.com/showthread.php?t=34195
Link to Scene 6: http://www.tickletheater.com/showthread.php?t=34846
* * *
Lord of the Wrongs
Scene 5: “Mountin’ Men”.
Lord of the Wrongs
Scene 5: “Mountin’ Men”.
Fade in. It’s the following morning. The girls are once again saddled up and ready to ride.
Sleezie: Okay, path-finder. Which way now?
Dildo: According to Grandstaff, we stick to the trail. As long as no one screws around and does something stupid, we’ll make it safely through the Horny Hills. Once on the other side, we come to a log cabin in the woods. The owner will give us our next set of directions.
Sleezie: Then Talley-Ho!
The party starts off once more. They soon reach the Horny Hills and follow a narrow, winding, dangerous path into its suggestive terrain. The contours of the granite ridges and peaks resemble those of famous nude statuary: Michelangelo’s David, the Venus de Milo, Rodin’s The Kiss, etc.
Humpie: (looking into the vast darkness below) Wow! That sure is a long way down. I bet if I threw a rock over the side, it’d take ten minutes to hit the bottom.
Loosie: No way it would take that long!
Humpie: Only one way to find out.
She plucks a loose stone from the cliff wall and tosses it. After about 5 seconds of silence, a dull “clunk!” is heard, followed by a low, guttural, masculine “Owww!”
Loosie: See. I told you.
Humpie: You never know ‘til you try.
Long-shot of the party, perched high on the perilous mountain pass. As the trail nears a toothy cavern mouth, the dark, threatening sky unleashes a torrent of pelting rain.
Floozie: Hey! I’m not dressed for this!
Dildo: (ogling her wet blouse) Nonsense! You look fine!
Sleezie: You dirty little pervert! Quick, everybody into the cave!
Dildo: Hold it! Get back out here! A little rain’s not gonna kill you! (the sky erupts with a terrific lightning strike.) Make room for me!
Cut to the INTERIOR of the crowded cavern. It’s pitch black and only their voices can be heard.
Loosie: I can’t see a damned thing! Has anyone got a flashlight?
Floozie: I think I found one.
Dildo: That’s not a flashlight. But don’t let go!
Sound of a smacked face.
Afrodo: I guess we’re stuck here awhile. Might as well get comfortable.
Cut to the EXTERIOR of the cave. Rain water descends by the bucket.
Cut back to the INTERIOR. The faint sound of disco music is now audible.
Loosie: Anyone else hear that?
Afrodo: Sounds like someone’s gettin’ down!
Humpie: And it seems to be coming from the end of the tunnel! Could there possibly be a club way out here?
Floozie: You mean with drinks?!
Ditzee: And dancing?!
Gropie: And hot, hot studs?!
Several Girls: Let’s find it!
Dildo: Hold it! Hold it right there! Nobody wander off! We gotta be prepared to leave the moment this rain clears. I mean, we have responsibilities, right girls? (silence) Girls? Anybody there?
Cut to the back of the poorly illuminated tunnel. As the ladies enter, they’re immediately bathed in a kaleidoscope of colored light, coming from the entrance of a crudely-carved stone nightclub. A sign chiseled into the wall reads: “Studio 54”, with “54” rendered in Roman numerals. Underneath, it continues “5 Yellow Coin Cover Charge – Two Drink Minimum”. A huge, gargoyle-like bouncer, clad in an executioner’s hood, bars the door.
Loosie: Wow! Civilization!
Dildo: (entering in a huff) God dammit! Doesn’t anyone listen to me? (seeing the club) Jezzus Christ!
Gropie: I know! Ain’t it killer?
Dildo: That’s exactly my thought. Whatta dump! Looks like the perfect place to get your throat slit!
Humpie: Well it looks nice to me! And I’m going in! You with me, gals?
Everyone piles through the door. Dildo is left to face the bouncer.
Dildo: (calling after them) You know, I only got so much cash! Our travel allowance won’t go far at this rate! (Dildo reluctantly counts coins into the gargoyle’s open claw.) Fucking party girls!
Cut to the inside of the club. Music blares deafeningly and a mirror ball sends sparkling light in all directions. The girls instantly hit the dance floor. They gyrate with wild abandon, and are joined by a group of misshapen creatures who try a few crude moves of their own. These grotesques are obviously not human, but the thin disguise of rubber celebrity masks fools everyone.
Ditzee: What a toney joint! I just saw Burt Reynolds!
Gropie: And I just saw John Travolta!
Loosie: I saw two John Travoltas!
Ditzee: Ain’t it the most!
The lumbering gargoyles gradually advance until the girls are completely hemmed in.
Sleezie: (at long last getting wise) Uh, you’re crowding us a little, guys.
The monsters reach up with taloned hands and claw away their masks. All the girls huddle together in fright.
Humpie: Hey! What’s the gag?!
1st Gobblin: Cute chicks dig hot Gobblin men?
2nd Gobblin: Maybe you dig so much, you never want to leave!
Loosie: What the hell are you? Gobblins? I’ve never heard of Gobblins! What kind of a name is “Gobblins”? (the monsters leer with drooling, discolored fangs and loll their warty tongues in response.) Well that’s your opinion! (to the other girls) Don’t you think it’s a stupid name? Why would anybody call them that?
Cut: the same room, some time later. The girls have been suspended from the stone ceiling by padded manacles, as the Gobblins subject each one of them to licking, slobbery oral sex.
Afrodo: Knock it off, fucker! You’re not my type!
Dildo quails in a corner, a helpless witness to this outrage. The big bouncer crosses over to confront him.
Bouncer: Not thirsty tonight?
Cut to the Exit. Dildo’s body hurtles through the open door and hits the dirt hard.
Bouncer: No read sign? Two drink minimum! (turning back inside, muttering to himself) Dead-beat!
Dildo: (agitated, as he rises to wipe off the dust) What am I gonna do? What the hell am I gonna do? (pacing) This is bad! No, it’s worse than bad! Things couldn’t get nastier!
Suddenly he disappears from sight. The camera tilts down to show the dark circle of an open man-hole.
End of Scene 5.
Next week – Scene 6: “Randy Rhyme Time”.
Link to Scenes 1 & 2: http://www.tickletheater.com/showthread.php?t=34195
Link to Scene 6: http://www.tickletheater.com/showthread.php?t=34846
Last edited:
