Men's Only Forum

[OBleedingMe]

How does everyone here feel about a Men's Only Forum as well? It could be hidden and password protected as well. Men have also right to bond and speak freely without having to worry about women.

I feel if the idea of a gender-restricted forum is on the table for discussion it would only be fair/prudent that men get one as well. 🙂

 

[Myriads]

See my current replys to the womens forum thread for where things stand on this. All the same points hold.

Myriads

 

[Dave2112]

This is exactly why I posted what I did in the Women's Only thread. There is a big difference between women needing a place to talk about thier unique issues, and us starting down the slippery slope of "If they get one, we need one" stuff. Then, every possible delineation of our community is going to branch off and everything we've worked so hard on will fall apart.

Besides, this is a male-dominated forum already. I don't see a single need for us to further separate ourselves from the minority of women who are starting to open up and join our fold. Especially not for the simple reason of "They got one, so we want one."

Just my honest feelings.

 

[indivision]

Honestly, I thought about this as I read through the thread that suggests a women's only forum. It does seem fair that if women have their own little clique, then the guys should be able to do so to if they want.

But then again, the main reason the women wanted their own private forum was so they could discuss "women's issues" that men typically do not want to hear about, and women usually don't want to discuss in mixed company.

So, that brings me to this question: Are there any "men's issues" that we wouldn't care to talk about in the presence of women? Honestly, I can't think of any myself; though I am not a very conversational person, tending to be fairly independent and working most of my problems out on my own or with close friends/family.

Truthfully, I wouldn't want to see this place get any more divided than it already is. I mean, like others have pointed out, this place is quite the sausage fest as it is, and most of the great women that are here tend to be a little suspicious (though for some good reasons).

I guess what I'm trying to say is that I, myself, don't feel a need to converse in an environment that is for men only. But if others see a reason for it, I might consider it.

 

[Vae]

Let me put it this way. I figure I should as I was the one that suggested the woman-only forum in the first place. And, as this forum knows, I am going to be blunt.

Do you honestly want to hear about my awful period I had last month?

Do you honestly want to hear me bitch about my fiance and spew out a bunch of senseless, male-bashing phrases which will just send your guard up?

Do you really want to deal with my screaming fit on some guy who doesn't want to hear what I have to say?

Do you honestly want to hear about how fabulous my new dildo is?

Do you honestly think I feel like dealing with some lurker who is now spamming me with stalking messages because he has me apart of his sick fantasies now?

Do you honestly believe that women, even if this does seem to be unfair, don't need a safe haven sometimes, where they won't have to worry who's watching?

These are all questions that you should consider before bringing up the idea of making your own forum. As I said in my original post, it is NOT to single out men. But let's face it; some of our women, if not most, have fallen prey to stalkerish PMs, drama, gossip and who knows what else because of how we act or what we have said. Don't get me wrong -- it's rarely a member who posts regularly. In my experience, it's been someone with virtually no post count at all.

The Girls forum, which I know we are keeping very close eye on who is on, who is banned and who is posting, is just for safety and comfort. Honestly if this wasn't here, it's hard for women to stay on this forum if they are harassed or feel generally unsafe.

I don't think all of that applies to men, but I could certainly be wrong. We are not trying to form a clique. We are trying to keep things safe for girls without them watching their backs. I myself know I have been very secretive about my identity (notice I have never offered a picture of myself yet and I've been on this forum a year?). It's because there is an extreme privacy and safety issues on any forum or website that features sexual activity.

If you feel men are being victimized in some way, please, make the forum. But if it's just, as Dave said, just so you can have one too, I believe you may what to rethink what you want to create and perhaps consider why some women of the forum wanted to create their own space.

 

[tickledorange]

I just thought it would be something fun to do.

 

[OBleedingMe]

Well, Vae, since we're being honest...

Do you honestly want hear what men REALLY think of fat/ugly women?

Do you honestly want to hear what we think of this or that sports game?

Do you honestly want to hear me or other men spit out woman-bashing nastiness because we were slighted by some cheating female?

Do you honestly want to hear what most men think of divorce, abortion, a man's role in marriage/child-rearing, and other hot-button issues?

Do you honestly think women are the only ones entitled to a safe haven from the opposite gender?

Do you honestly think women are the only gender that would benefit from a gender-exclusionary forum used to discuss issues without the interference/influence of the opposite sex?

Do you honestly think men don't walk on eggshells around the females of this forum and keep most of their feelings to themselves?

I take serious issue with the "guilt-trip" portion of your post. I really don't care if you get a million PMs a day. I don't do that crap, and most of the men on this forum don't. If you think I'm going to submit to the logic that because you or other women feel "victimized", you deserve special treatment, you're sorely mistaken.

Many men will profess a disinterest in this thread and express disgust at my posts/ideas. That's mainly due to the fact that we as men have ignored our own needs/issues for so long we refuse acknowledge they even exist. We try to project such a strong and impenetrable image of ourselves in hopes of attracting females that we cut off our own heads. We deny ourselves the need to talk amongst ourselves, share ideas, common experiences, or just vent from one guy to another. As a result, we have almost ZERO self-esteem when it comes to standing up for our own rights/beliefs. We just nod our heads to whatever the pretty girl in the room says in hopes of getting into her pants. I've seen it time and time again.

I sincerely believe men would benefit greatly from their own little forum. A place to vent, to exchange ideas, to seek advice from those older and wiser, a place to be guys.

 

[asutickler]

I don't think I would want to be part of a fetish forum that was just one big sausage party... Not really my type of scene.


Just my $0.02. 😉

 

[OBleedingMe]

Not thinking of this forum in the sexual sense, that's what the TMF is for. More of a place for men to discuss and vent.

 

[Soda83pop]

Do you honestly want to hear about how fabulous my new dildo is

Maybe....as a married man, me and the missus like to keep things fun. If you think its fabulous maybe she will too 😉

As to whether the men should have their own forum....if I am following this closely, the women have one that isnt connected to the TMF. They started their own board for this purpose. If you are really intent on starting one, no one can stop you. Go to a website and build your forum. I dont think the member count is going to be that high, Bleeding.....

 

[brianspencer66]

I really think already its a male dominated forum as I think Jeff said earlier. hell its a male dominated world. I see no problem with woman having a forum on their own. I dont buy into the they got on we should have one too idea its not nessasary.

 

[tickler_n_black]

Well, Vae, since we're being honest...

Do you honestly want hear what men REALLY think of fat/ugly women?

Do you honestly want to hear what we think of this or that sports game?

Do you honestly want to hear me or other men spit out woman-bashing nastiness because we were slighted by some cheating female?

Do you honestly want to hear what most men think of divorce, abortion, a man's role in marriage/child-rearing, and other hot-button issues?

Do you honestly think women are the only ones entitled to a safe haven from the opposite gender?

Do you honestly think women are the only gender that would benefit from a gender-exclusionary forum used to discuss issues without the interference/influence of the opposite sex?

Do you honestly think men don't walk on eggshells around the females of this forum and keep most of their feelings to themselves?

I take serious issue with the "guilt-trip" portion of your post. I really don't care if you get a million PMs a day. I don't do that crap, and most of the men on this forum don't. If you think I'm going to submit to the logic that because you or other women feel "victimized", you deserve special treatment, you're sorely mistaken.

Many men will profess a disinterest in this thread and express disgust at my posts/ideas. That's mainly due to the fact that we as men have ignored our own needs/issues for so long we refuse acknowledge they even exist. We try to project such a strong and impenetrable image of ourselves in hopes of attracting females that we cut off our own heads. We deny ourselves the need to talk amongst ourselves, share ideas, common experiences, or just vent from one guy to another. As a result, we have almost ZERO self-esteem when it comes to standing up for our own rights/beliefs. We just nod our heads to whatever the pretty girl in the room says in hopes of getting into her pants. I've seen it time and time again.

I sincerely believe men would benefit greatly from their own little forum. A place to vent, to exchange ideas, to seek advice from those older and wiser, a place to be guys.

Where as I couldn't care less that there's a secret TMF womens club somewhere on the internet, nor could I care any less about lifting even one finger to start a guys only forum ... I must say that OBleedingMe makes some VERY good points above. Take the time to read what he wrote and really think about it. It's quite true.

 

[Dave2112]

With all due respect, TiB, I don't think it's true at all. Just my opinon, of course, and we're all entitled to our own.



Do you honestly want hear what men REALLY think of fat/ugly women?

It happens here all the time. And by "Men", do you really mean "you"? Because I'm sure there are a lot of men whom you most certainly do NOT speak for.


Do you honestly want to hear what we think of this or that sports game?

We have a Sports sub-forum in place. If people don't want to hear about it, they don't have to go in there. And there are a LOT of women who post in there.

Do you honestly want to hear me or other men spit out woman-bashing nastiness because we were slighted by some cheating female?

One, I don't see a reason an adult would have to bash an entire gender because he allowed himself to be "slighted". Two, again...it happens here all the time. The Deleted Posts section is full of them.

Do you honestly want to hear what most men think of divorce, abortion, a man's role in marriage/child-rearing, and other hot-button issues?

If it were part of an intelligent discussion, yes. There have been many threads over the years about gender differences regarding just such topics and both men and women have had plenty of helpful things to say.

Do you honestly think women are the only ones entitled to a safe haven from the opposite gender?

Entitled? No. Go ahead and create one like the ladies have. As was mentioned, however, I don't think you'll have a lot of members. I don't think there are too many men here who feel threatened enough to require a "haven".

Do you honestly think women are the only gender that would benefit from a gender-exclusionary forum used to discuss issues without the interference/influence of the opposite sex?

Honestly? Yeah. I think they stand to gain far more of a benefit than the men here who are already on a male-dominated Forum. But again, if you feel you need one, feel free.

Do you honestly think men don't walk on eggshells around the females of this forum and keep most of their feelings to themselves?

I can't speak for eveyone, but I don't. And nobody I know personally does, either. If you feel you have to, it may expalin why you feel so uncomfortable having women around your conversations. Walking on eggshells around people is the fastest way to ensure you'll never have them understand your point of view. Honesty usually works fairly well.

Many men will profess a disinterest in this thread and express disgust at my posts/ideas. That's mainly due to the fact that we as men have ignored our own needs/issues for so long we refuse acknowledge they even exist. We try to project such a strong and impenetrable image of ourselves in hopes of attracting females that we cut off our own heads. We deny ourselves the need to talk amongst ourselves, share ideas, common experiences, or just vent from one guy to another. As a result, we have almost ZERO self-esteem when it comes to standing up for our own rights/beliefs. We just nod our heads to whatever the pretty girl in the room says in hopes of getting into her pants. I've seen it time and time again.

Really? Well, I don't know what kind of people you've seen it from, but I can only say that I thank God you do not speak for this member of the male persuasion. I have never had one single problem speaking with any female on this Forum or in life, even when it may be about something controversial or gender-based. Honesty again works wonders. Perhaps if you gave women half a chance and the benefit of the doubt to have the capacity to understand you, you wouldn't feel so slighted by the opposite sex. I have a feeling there are far more men on this forum that understand this than don't.

 

[qjakal]

I think we're getting too segregated as it is personally...more rather than less doesn't seem like a great way to promote a unified community in what is already a small group who share the same general "fascination".

Q

 

[tickler_n_black]

With all due respect, TiB, I don't think it's true at all. Just my opinon, of course, and we're all entitled to our own.

Dave my friend you're right. We're all entitled to an opinion, and I'll stand by mine. 🙂
Been a long time since we talked. Hope all is well buddy.

 

[Tamia78]

I take serious issue with the "guilt-trip" portion of your post. I really don't care if you get a million PMs a day. I don't do that crap, and most of the men on this forum don't.

I disagree. Out of 37,000 members, there is a very small percentage of people who actually post. It's not about alienation of the TMF, you guys that do post are awesome and always have something interesting to say, and those are the men we women love to talk to. I think the point of Vae's thread says it best: There's just some "woman stuff" that we would like to talk about with out getting dozens of PMs about our posts or thread chat room or whatever the hell these creepy guys are reading from the women on this forum.
--T

 

[venray]

I think the point of Vae's thread says it best: There's just some "woman stuff" that we would like to talk about with out getting dozens of PMs about our posts or thread chat room or whatever the hell these creepy guys are reading from the women on this forum.
--T

And I agree with the premise, but announcing it publicly here and naming it the TMF for ladies is pretty much a slap in the face to the rest of us...

A private forum is fine....send out private invites to those you know instead of tossing it out to the general forum that is made up mostly of those you wish to keep out.....

 

[tickler_n_black]

And I agree with the premise, but announcing it publicly here and naming it the TMF for ladies is pretty much a slap in the face to the rest of us...

A private forum is fine....send out private invites to those you know instead of tossing it out to the general forum that is made up mostly of those you wish to keep out.....

And coming back to this, the real TMF and to keep posting childish stuff like:

"We have a Women's ONLY forum, nanee-nanee-nannee. You MEN can't get in. We have a way of screening everyone. Keep trying if you want but you will be discovered and banned. We have a place without you in it. Ha! Thanks for playing."


...and then ask for that thread to be locked for no more posts because you couldn't handle the fire you created, is ... well ... really odd behavior for an adult.

 

[Dave2112]

Again, as with TiB, with all due respect to my bestest bud, Ray...

I don't think that's what they initially were trying to do. There was an idea floated around in the Suggestions Forum, the place for just such a thing, and the Staff were there to help out by answering the technical aspects of the questions. The conversations took off from there.

I also expressed concern intially about Forum segregation, but as with anyone, I can openly admit when I am wrong. And in this case I was. I really don't feel that the ladies having a place like this is going to segregate anything, and may in fact make them feel more comfortable in thier dealing with the rest of the Forum if they can get some of the "girl stuff" out of the way. Bottom line is, it's not hurting anyone, and if it helps one little thing, then it's been good.

I just don't get the feeling that thier intention was to throw anything into the faces of the male members here. (NO pun intended, seriously. )

And BTW TiB, I am fine, thank you for asking. Yourself? See? People CAN actually disagree and still remain friends. Wonders. 😀

 

[Vae]

Again, as with TiB, with all due respect to my bestest bud, Ray...

I don't think that's what they initially were trying to do. There was an idea floated around in the Suggestions Forum, the place for just such a thing, and the Staff were there to help out by answering the technical aspects of the questions. The conversations took off from there.

I also expressed concern intially about Forum segregation, but as with anyone, I can openly admit when I am wrong. And in this case I was. I really don't feel that the ladies having a place like this is going to segregate anything, and may in fact make them feel more comfortable in thier dealing with the rest of the Forum if they can get some of the "girl stuff" out of the way. Bottom line is, it's not hurting anyone, and if it helps one little thing, then it's been good.

I just don't get the feeling that thier intention was to throw anything into the faces of the male members here. (NO pun intended, seriously. )

And BTW TiB, I am fine, thank you for asking. Yourself? See? People CAN actually disagree and still remain friends. Wonders. 😀

Thank you to Dave and all others who got the point. It seems those of whom are complaining never read my original post. The honest reason why I wanted to start a ladies' only private forum HERE was because I had gotten a new dildo (I am not bullshitting at all) and wanted to share my experiences. However, that is just asking for trouble. I realized I had no connection to the ladies here at all and girls like to be girls with... well... other girls.

There was never any intention to take the females AWAY from this forum. The intention was to give us a place to talk when and if we wanted to keep it amongst females. That's it. No secret society. No male-hater. No neener-neenering. Those of you have wasted your time with posts discussing that, discussing how we are rubbing it in your face, have clearly made that up all by yourselves because I know I have never said it. I have tried to explain it, but yet again, some people chose not to read or if they did, they decided to just argue anyway.

And finally, I really don't see how it's anyone's business. If this is what a handful of people want to do, how can anyone really argue? The only reason it has ever been made public here is so that any woman, who was feeling a bit insecure since getting a number of creepy PMs is very common, knows about it. Otherwise, no one would've made it public and I wouldn't be sitting here trying to explain it once again.

The ladies forum is just a place for girls to talk things that girls talk. It wasn't meant to take anyone away. In fact, it is there to keep girls HERE. I know I have almost asked to have my account deleted because I was tired of bullshit, drama and frightening PMs. If you'd rather lose your women because they can't tolerate the inevitable, lurker PMs, then please, keep arguing and please keep telling me how we're trying to have a war amongst the sexes.

 

[tickler_n_black]

No secret society. No male-hater. No neener-neenering. Those of you have wasted your time with posts discussing that, discussing how we are rubbing it in your face, have clearly made that up all by yourselves.

Vae, you make nice points and I believe your intentions were good ones, but there actually has been "neener-neenering" about this as you will see in the quoted post below by one of your female only members. My advice is that if you don't want your club looked down upon by a lot of people then stop certain ones from saying such crazy things as is shown below, because these ARE comments that divide and antagonize. 🙂 Just an observation I had.


"Aside from the fact that we have NO MEN on our site and that I can guarentee that, we also have the help of an Admin on here to make it even more difficult to get past. So go ahead, do what you will to get across our super elite no boys allowed radar if it's going to make you feel better. No big deal. If you can do it, I will give you a cookie.

For all I know, your name could mean "simulated man". Even if you are male, I think "simulated male" would be pretty accurate.

Back on the topic of the forum, I find it even more flattering than all the men who have tried and failed to get on our forum that you and many others seem to make it a huge spectacle. It's rather immature to say the least. Say what you will about a "girls only" forum being immature, but the only reason it would seem that way is because guys are just a little hurt in the ass that they can't be involved in something. Oh darn! So sad! The more you and everyone make a big deal of it, the more popular it gets and the more satisfied we are that we have a place without you on it. So please, further prove the motivation for our forum, because you are making it even more obvious as to WHY it exists!

Thanks for playing!"

 

[OnnaOtaku]

I have yet to sift through this entire thread, but I will say, based on the title alone and the topic starter's first post, GOOD FOR YOU! I'm gad you're seeing it our way. I'm glad that you can understand the urge, need and/or want to have such a place. Thank you for finally opening up to our ideas. I encourage you to go ahead and do whatever you think will make you happy.

I also wondered who would be the one to post this inevitable thread, so I salute you OBleedingMe, for having the balls to step up to the plate to annouce the hypocracy and the want for a forum of your own. Here, Here!

 

[venray]

Lest I too be misunderstood, let me clarify....

I admin and mod on other forums where there is a place set aside just for the ladies to discuss these things...

I am in full support of the idea of a private place in which to do just that...

However.....there are much better ways of assuring privacy than by posting the link freely here.....

I am sure that there is at least one male from here that has been to your new home and participated freely with no one being the wiser....

 

[Vae]

Honestly, if someone REALLY wants to try that hard, I'm sure, yes, they could fool us. I'm sure they could make up some email, make up a myspace, hell even make up a picture and we could miss it and let them on in.

But shouldn't someone be wondering why on earth someone would wanna spend that kind of time, just a prove a point? I find it pathetic and disturbing that someone is that obsessed about getting into a place where I just want some peace and fucking quiet.

It also shows that that person truly doesn't give a damn about those involved and is proving to be miserably immature. "Haha! I trick the girls! I got in! Look how cool I am!" Get the fuck over it.

If someone really wants to try, go on ahead. Even if we don't notice it, thumbs up to the asshole. It just shows how people truly lack any respect or acknowledgment of privacy (and don't give me there's nothing private on the internet -- duh, I know that. I'm talking about a space that's a smidgen more secure).

 

[venray]

My whole point here Vae was that posting this whole thing here where there are known trolls and the like is inviting them to do just that.....

There are unfortunately a handful who really do not respect the wishes of others, or have you not noticed that here and elsewhere on line....

That is all I have been saying all along....