"Mother-in-law" question!!!!!!!!!!!!

[tulipangel]

Ok, so my BF and I went out and actually had a nice night! No fighting! On our way home he needed to stop at his parents house to pick up some of his stuff. We go in and the cat hair got to me so I went to wait in the car! My BF comes to the car after 10 mins. and gets in!

He hands me cleaners! His mom told him that I should try these! The witch went out and bought me home cleaners!!! Now, im a very neat person! My floors and mirrors are spotless! All I do is clean!

Should I have stood up for meyself or did I do the right thing by keeping quiet?

 

[sole seeker]

I would have thought she meant for you to use the cleaners to wipe the cat dandruff off of yourself so you didn't get ill.

Maybe I've misunderstood the situation?

 

[tulipangel]

I would have thought she meant for you to use the cleaners to wipe the cat dandruff off of yourself so you didn't get ill.

Maybe I've misunderstood the situation?

Tile cleaners, windex, that kinda cleaner!!!!!!!!! She did it to hurt my feelings! I havent said anything about it, not sure if I should!

 

[sole seeker]

OIC - sorry thought you meant like a handi-wipe.

IMHO I wouldn't respond to her dig. It won't help your relationship with her. If you increase tension between the two of you, it won't endear you to your boyfriend.

If I were in your place I'd just try to keep my distance from her.

 

[drew70]

If I were you, I'd return the cleaners, saying "Thank you so much, but I think these would be much better used here than at my house."

 

[tulipangel]

OIC - sorry thought you meant like a handi-wipe.

IMHO I wouldn't respond to her dig. It won't help your relationship with her. If you increase tension between the two of you, it won't endear you to your boyfriend.

If I were in your place I'd just try to keep my distance from her.

Good idea! She really pissed me off though! And my bf didnt even stick up for me! Unreal! Im smiling today anyway! Next family BBQ, im not going! Ill make sure im "sick"! He can go sit with the devil but I wont!

 

[kered]

Ok, so my BF and I went out and actually had a nice night! No fighting! On our way home he needed to stop at his parents house to pick up some of his stuff. We go in and the cat hair got to me so I went to wait in the car! My BF comes to the car after 10 mins. and gets in!

He hands me cleaners! His mom told him that I should try these! The witch went out and bought me home cleaners!!! Now, im a very neat person! My floors and mirrors are spotless! All I do is clean!

Should I have stood up for meyself or did I do the right thing by keeping quiet?

I get that kind of stuff all the time. But then, I'm a slob. 😛

 

[tulipangel]

If I were you, I'd return the cleaners, saying "Thank you so much, but I think these would be much better used here than at my house."

Yeah, ummmm! I like this idea better! I have no animals in my house and she has like 6 cats! Who the heck does she think she is! GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR

 

[maureen28]

My mother in law was the exact same way. She was on me for everything, to how I kept my apartment to how I raise my son. It was the last straw though when she came to me and told me that my husband didn't like when I came into the bathroom while he was in the shower. I finally told her to mind her own business, then ripped my hubby a new one for telling her what went on in our apt!!

 

[tickledorange]

You could always buy her some weight loss pills or shakes and say "Just returning the favor!"

 

[lk70]

Let's be practical, gang. Cleaning products are expensive! Ignore the meaning behind them, take them and run!

 

[steph]

No. This is classic passive/aggressive behavior and IMHO a dig at you. Your bf was a tool for not defending you, but you did the classy thing by keeping your mouth shut. Watch out for this one hon...

XOXO

 

[Aragon]

Well, after being married with a Monster in Law that was a true pain in my rear, I suggest you tell her your opinion of her. Though if your man won't stand up to her, it sounds like he needs an adjustment. If you are serious with someone, yes their family comes into play, but not like that. It will cause the relationship to get worse if you stay with him and you don't nip it in the bud. (yes I'm a Don Knotts fan)

 

[isabeau]

pm me hon.. i would rather not say here what you should do.. but if she acts this way now.. how would she if you ever married? and for your bf to not say a word.. well that sucks big time.

isabeau

 

[Mz Chaos]

Tile cleaners, windex, that kinda cleaner!!!!!!!!! She did it to hurt my feelings! I havent said anything about it, not sure if I should!

So... get her a case of deodorant.

 

[kingp]

You need to tell your bf that it upset you...

There are things that my Mother does that PISS off my wife big time, and to be honest I don't catch it until we are on the way home and she tells me. In which case it is too late because it becomes "Why didn't you notice?" "Why didn't you defend me!" Just can't win when that happens. Truthfully, most things roll of my back and I don't take heed to what is said by my Mom anyway LOL, but the wife has a higher sensitivity factor and I don't always catch when the alarm goes off. At least she tells me though and doesn't keep it inside, I am aware then for any signs next time.

Tell your bf it annoyed you and why, its a good chance that he didn't even think twice about it and probably thought his Mom was actually helping you both. He can't defend you if he doesn't know there was an offense. Don't start screaming, just calmly tell him. Then he is aware for the next time, and won't accept the stuff next time she tries that crap.

Good luck, I wonder why you never see men do this stuff to their son in laws? Like buy him tools and have the wife give it to him and say, "Try to use these on the house sometime!"

Good luck.

 

[Mastertank1]

The last time my mom took a cut at my then GF

in front of me was also the first time and the only time. I ripped her a new one in the GF's presence and told her it was not her place to insult any GF of mine. I also told her she should be glad I date strictly within my own species, unlike her second husband. (Who was NOT my father or my brother's father.)
Later, on the phone, I told her that if she ever pulled a riff like that again, she would be down to only one son instead of two, because I would disown her. She never did it again.
Tulip, you need to have a quiet, serious talk with the BF; let him know that you expect more support from him in the future, unless he prefers sleeping with his mom.

Mastertank1

We who play and dance are thought mad by they who hear no music.

 

[tulipangel]

Well, He knows his mother gets to me! The usually tells his mother off when she does something dumb! Like-Sge STILL goes to lunch with my bf ex-wife (they been divorced for 3 years)! His mother HATED the ex but once he met me she started to have lunch with the fat beast! My BF wants to move away from her and she blames me! She makes me soooo mad! The comments about my bf not noticing is probably true. I should have said something right away! I will tell him that it hurts my feelings and that she needs to be put in her place! IMO, her place should be CHINA! Anyway, I will let you know how this goes! This should be a fun war! lol! Any of you in NY, keep your windows open... you might here the fight where you are 😉

 

[kis123]

This might be a really good time to remind the bf that although mamma will always be his mamma, there are things you provide him that mamma never will and if he wants those to continue smoothly, he'd best get mamma off your back!

She sounds like someone who hasn't cut the cord yet and I'm very familiar with those types.

 

[MrPartickler]

You mentioned that he usually defends you, but this time he didn't. Perhaps kingp is right about this particular incident. Or, he could have just decided it wasn't really worth a huge battle this time. That may've been a poor decision in retrospect, if he didn't understand how much this would piss you off.

Either way, when you don't get along with someone that's so closely tied to your b/f, it's likely gonna be a long, long struggle that may not completely end until a relationship is severed. So it's best to just pick your battles and just minimize your interactions while possible. Being pissed off and arguing isn't something I personally enjoy, and you probably don't either. My suggestion is to find something to laugh about with your b/f about these "little things." You might also turn it to your advantage somehow: tell your b/f he has to take you out for an expensive evening of fine dining and dancing (or include tickling) every time she pulls this crap and he--once made aware--won't or doesn't intervene. The idea is to find some way to make it all bearable without it affecting your happiness and your relationship.

Throw the cleaning stuff away and don't sweat the small stuff or you'll find you're feeling really lousy pretty often. And you would have given all that power and control to the person you dislike the most--his mother.

 

[unit5610]

Let's be practical, gang. Cleaning products are expensive! Ignore the meaning behind them, take them and run!

I agree. Plus in the long run it isn't worth it to antagonize this thoughtless person if you plan to stay with your bf. To do something back would just escalate things. You'll never get the last word in with someone like that, and if your bf starts to side with his mother instead of you, there's a bigger issue than just the mother-in-law!

 

[tulipangel]

Well, I will keep my mouth shut NOW! It isnt worth fighting with him over her stupid stuck in the 80's ass! Oh that felt good to say lol!

I will win cause he wants to move away and Im down with it and she keeps beging him to stay in NY! I keep telling him to give me 24hrs notice and ill have the whole place packed and ready to go! The day we leave NY, I win and I will NEVER have to see her again! Oh JOY!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

[venray]

You really want to piss her off?....Send her a thank you card and tell her it was very thoughtful of her....She wont know WTF to think of that...really....

🙂

 

[tulipangel]

You really want to piss her off?....Send her a thank you card and tell her it was very thoughtful of her....She wont know WTF to think of that...really....

🙂

LMAO thats what my mom said to do! LMAO! HAHA!

 

[venray]

Take it from those that have been there done that hon...she will never bother you again...If you really want to get her send a nice little gift with it...

Nothing sarcastic...just a small token.... She will either fume or cry or just be so damned confused she wont know what to do....