My encounter with a jerk!

[subtle_feather]

Just for laughs, imagine this scenario with a girl using the ATM and some random guy walking up behind her and reaching into her personal space to grab the envelope.

She's just doing her atm thing and then suddenly...random dude arm. Were that the case, the girl would be well within her rights to completely freak out, no? This is how well-meaning people get tazed.

Perhaps that can serve as a guide to the etiquette of this situation.

 

[Capnmad]

Not all people react the same. Now you've learned and have reason to believe that the next person might find this action offensive. Experience dictates you're better off acting prudently and waiting your turn, or else you risk the same reaction. Live and learn and you'll stay out of more fights.

Good luck!

 

[Knot Amewzed]

The argument went something like this. He shouted at me and said I was supposed to wait my turn and I said that I was just getting an envelope and he said I don't give a shit what you were doing! Then we exchanged words and he called me a bitch, a **** and said something bad about my husband (he obviously doesn't know that I am married) I yelled back at him and said fuck you, called him a sonofabitch and an asshole. As he drove away, I gave him the finger. I felt he deserved it .

Thank God no one was called a bastard.

 

[Knot Amewzed]

The man had a right to be annoyed at the very least, and so for you to then provoke him by asking "What's your problem?" (which is not a statement that's usually said very politely) when you probably should have apologized,

Pardon me, but what happens to be your problem, kind Sir?

Seriously...Totally agree with you Annie. He shook his head because he was pissed, but showed control until Jennifer provoked him. She was very lucky that he didn't take out an extra $1000 hiring someone to have her beat to a pulp...thank goodness for ATM daily limits!!!

 

[Knot Amewzed]

A finger wouldn't have been all he had gotten...It's a shame people can't get along with each other. Even if you are having a bad day, don't take it out on someone else. I think your response was warranted, even well-deserved after he decided to act like a dick. I wonder if he would have acted the same way had you been a guy? No offense meant, especially due to the fact that you are a woman, I was just wondering. Sounds like that guy was probably a just a bitch.

Wow, you really should read the entire thread.

 

[Capnmad]

The guy finished, then walked by me and shook his head like he was upset and I opened my window and asked him what his problem was and he went psycho on me!

Thank God no one was called a bastard.

In each case, what was said or done could have been shrugged off, but someone felt compelled to make a provocative comment. We know what happened in the former. We'll see what emerges from the latter -- but, "zing", I guess.

Do any of us learn?

Model the behavior you want to see.

CapnBuzzkill

 

[GirlWhoLikes2Laugh]

All I can learn from this experience is that I will think TWICE before I ever do grab an envelope next to someone while they're at the ATM machine. I guess I should be grateful that he didn't have a gun with him and point it at my head and threaten to kill me. I admit that I did the wrong thing but that didn't justify him reacting so harshly to me.

I guess you just never know how some people these days will react to something. Also, for all we know, he could've been having a very bad day that had nothing to do with me but just took it out on me anyway. Also, I sincerely believe that if I had asked him what was the matter instead of what was his problem, he still would've been angry anyway.

 

[ticklebunny 2]

Yeah friend I don't think it would have mattered if you had asked nicely or not had mattered what you had done. This guy clearly must have not been having a good day and he took it out on you. I know it is upsetting friend, but try not to let that creep get to you. It was a mistake and you meant well but sadly he went bit too far. Thank God he did not have a gun or knife, really relieved and glad to hear that. I am sorry this asshole treated you like that but glad you can see where he would be upset and admitted you were in the wrong-but still what he did was not called for.

So do your best friend to try to learn from this and guess in future just wait for your turn, definitely don't do this again and just try to forget that this terrible experience happened. You are the bigger and better person, always going to be big time creeps out there friend, hugs to you.

 

[Empyrium]

.

She's just doing her atm thing and then suddenly...random dude arm. Were that the case, the girl would be well within her rights to completely freak out, no? This is how well-meaning people get tazed.

Don't Taze Me, Bro!

 

[Capnmad]

All I can learn from this experience is that I will think TWICE before I ever do grab an envelope next to someone while they're at the ATM machine.

Don't limit what you can learn from this, Jen. Let's remember that the diagnosis you've shared with us makes it more difficult for you to read people emotionally. With that added difficulty, the better, safer decision is to ALWAYS wait your turn.

Agree or disagree?

I guess I should be grateful that he didn't have a gun with him and point it at my head and threaten to kill me. I admit that I did the wrong thing but that didn't justify him reacting so harshly to me.

We can argue what was justified, and we can argue what was forseeable, but let's not... Just take it from someone who HAS had that gun held to his head -- quite literally -- because I once thought I could civilly tell someone not to cut folks off in traffic: THE ONLY PERSON'S BEHAVIOR YOU CAN ACCOUNT FOR IS YOUR OWN. What someone else should or shouldn't do matters little AFTER it's done. Choose NOT to risk an argument or your life, choose wisely, have a little patience and wait your turn.

Don't you agree that consistently waiting your turn is the BEST and SAFEST path? Why risk your life on any other?

 

[ticklebunny 2]

Please friend don't let this get you down and upset you terribly. The guy was a big time jerk to you that is the bottom line and that is his fault. That is true, you can only justify and answer for your actions and you already have taken a part of the blame for what happened that might have caused the misunderstanding btw you and him. However please don't let drag you down-you are a sweet, great person and this guy is not worth the time nor the energy he has stolen away from you-being and still being upset with him. He sounds like he could be a real life bully anyways so don't let it phase you friend. You did what you felt was best at the time: that is all one can do-try and do one's best-sometimes one makes a mistake and sometimes one does not make a mistake-but sadly the other person acts rudely and with no class and shows no kindness nor any emotional sensitivity. Sadly that is how the world lately has been going and sadly don't see it getting any better anytime soon.

So please just know friend you were the bigger and better person and you can least know that you were not the creep, that guy was the creep. Please don't let this get the best of you, sending you a smile and lots of hugs.

🙁🙁

 

[GirlWhoLikes2Laugh]

Don't limit what you can learn from this, Jen. Let's remember that the diagnosis you've shared with us makes it more difficult for you to read people emotionally. With that added difficulty, the better, safer decision is to ALWAYS wait your turn.

Agree or disagree?





We can argue what was justified, and we can argue what was forseeable, but let's not... Just take it from someone who HAS had that gun held to his head -- quite literally -- because I once thought I could civilly tell someone not to cut folks off in traffic: THE ONLY PERSON'S BEHAVIOR YOU CAN ACCOUNT FOR IS YOUR OWN. What someone else should or shouldn't do matters little AFTER it's done. Choose NOT to risk an argument or your life, choose wisely, have a little patience and wait your turn.

Don't you agree that consistently waiting your turn is the BEST and SAFEST path? Why risk your life on any other?

I agree that I will wait to grab an envelope when someone is at the ATM from now on. If I were doing something other than depositing money into my account, I obviously would've waited. Live and learn. As I said, I am just glad the guy didn't have a gun and threaten to kill me. To be safe, next time I'll just wait, you're right, it's not risking my life or other lives.

 

[RChello]

what's his PIN #?

that'll fix him....*ducks and runs like hell.....🙂

 

[Excess]

Sounds like he was in a bad mood. Maybe he has a dog that pooped in his shoes that morning.

 

[Artoo]

Maybe he has a dog that pooped in his shoes that morning.

This is the most likely explanation.

/thread

 

[steph]

Jen~
Because I'm an impatient girl (AND I don't appreciate those people who make me wait while they fill out their crap at the the ATM and I won't do it to others,) I keep a stack of ATM envelopes in my glove box. I can fill out my stuff at home before I leave or in my car, walk up to the ATM, do my business and be on my way without possibly intruding on anyone's space. Problem solved.
(Also, sometimes the envelopes are out at my ATM. Major problem if the bank is closed, no?)

And now, a word about space: I'm VERY protective of mine and if someone's in it without any indication that it's OK with me, better bet there'll be hell to pay. The guy had his back turned to you so he wouldn't know what you had or hadn't seen on the screen. And who knows? Maybe he was mugged at the ATM last month or something. Maybe he just lost his job. Or his house. Yes, he overreacted but my point is you just don't know what's going on with people. And let's face it. Some of them are just crazier than shithouse rats. Period.

That said, while I'm not afraid to make a scene in public if I feel someone is invading my space, you have to be careful. And for God's sake, PICK YOUR BATTLES. Some things just aren't worth it. And I don't know what your town is like but around here, getting confrontational with a stranger like that could earn you a trip out of there, not in your own car, but in an ambulance. Or worse, a body bag. People get their jaws broken over dumber things than this all the time~I should know~they come thru my ER by the dozen.

I'm glad you're okay and it sounds like you've learned a valuable lesson. Stay safe chica!
XOXO

I agree that I will wait to grab an envelope when someone is at the ATM from now on. If I were doing something other than depositing money into my account, I obviously would've waited. Live and learn. As I said, I am just glad the guy didn't have a gun and threaten to kill me. To be safe, next time I'll just wait, you're right, it's not risking my life or other lives.

 

[GirlWhoLikes2Laugh]

Jen~
Because I'm an impatient girl (AND I don't appreciate those people who make me wait while they fill out their crap at the the ATM and I won't do it to others,) I keep a stack of ATM envelopes in my glove box. I can fill out my stuff at home before I leave or in my car, walk up to the ATM, do my business and be on my way without possibly intruding on anyone's space. Problem solved.
(Also, sometimes the envelopes are out at my ATM. Major problem if the bank is closed, no?)

And now, a word about space: I'm VERY protective of mine and if someone's in it without any indication that it's OK with me, better bet there'll be hell to pay. The guy had his back turned to you so he wouldn't know what you had or hadn't seen on the screen. And who knows? Maybe he was mugged at the ATM last month or something. Maybe he just lost his job. Or his house. Yes, he overreacted but my point is you just don't know what's going on with people. And let's face it. Some of them are just crazier than shithouse rats. Period.

That said, while I'm not afraid to make a scene in public if I feel someone is invading my space, you have to be careful. And for God's sake, PICK YOUR BATTLES. Some things just aren't worth it. And I don't know what your town is like but around here, getting confrontational with a stranger like that could earn you a trip out of there, not in your own car, but in an ambulance. Or worse, a body bag. People get their jaws broken over dumber things than this all the time~I should know~they come thru my ER by the dozen.

I'm glad you're okay and it sounds like you've learned a valuable lesson. Stay safe chica!
XOXO

I understand what you're saying Stef and I as I have said, I am glad that this guy didn't have a gun on him because if he did, he could've threatened my life. You're right, some things just aren't worth it, and I do need to pick my battles. I will stay safe and you (and others) gave me a lot to think about.

 

[steph]

Atta girl Jen!
XOXO

I understand what you're saying Stef and I as I have said, I am glad that this guy didn't have a gun on him because if he did, he could've threatened my life. You're right, some things just aren't worth it, and I do need to pick my battles. I will stay safe and you (and others) gave me a lot to think about.

 

[GirlWhoLikes2Laugh]

Atta girl Jen!
XOXO

Thanks for your support Stef!

 

[simulated]

Okay I recently discussed this incident with my friend on the phone about this and wanted to hear opinions from the forum. Today, I came home after doing my errands because it's my day off and realized that I had to go to the bank to deposit some cash into my account. When I went to the bank, I saw a guy at the ATM. I decided to walk up to the ATM that was beside him just to get a deposit envelope, I didn't look at his info. on the screen or anything like that and walked back to the car to fill out my name and how much I was depositing. The guy finished, then walked by me and shook his head like he was upset and I opened my window and asked him what his problem was and he went psycho on me!

The argument went something like this. He shouted at me and said I was supposed to wait my turn and I said that I was just getting an envelope and he said I don't give a shit what you were doing! Then we exchanged words and he called me a bitch, a **** and said something bad about my husband (he obviously doesn't know that I am not married) I yelled back at him and said fuck you, called him a sonofabitch and an asshole. As he drove away, I gave him the finger. I felt he deserved it .

Just want to say that in the past their have been times when I have walked up to the ATM when someone was there just to grab an envelope to make a deposit and they never spazed out on me like this guy did. Now, if I just have to take money out or some other transaction, they I wait for my turn. Most people know it's polite while waiting for your turn at the ATM by staying somewhat back from them to give them privacy. My friend said he understood why the guy got upset but that he overreacted some by calling me nasty names. My friend said the world is a dangerous place and that people have snuck up behind people and stolen their pin numbers and such. I would never do that, I didn't even look at the guy's info. on the screen.

Well, I will think twice before I ever get an envelope at an ATM while someone is there!

I'd have shouted at you. You were incredibly rude, and then you picked a fight, and then you go complain about it to everyone you know. Grow up.

 

[kis123]

I'd have shouted at you. You were incredibly rude, and then you picked a fight, and then you go complain about it to everyone you know. Grow up.

Did you read the entire thread before this eloquent response or did you just jump in?

I've been lurking this thread since its inception and I think she has learned a few things and has grown up or at least became more aware of how to handle this scenario in the future. People make mistakes and she made one (and admitted to it). Did you really have to be so harsh?

 

[Knot Amewzed]

Did you read the entire thread before this eloquent response or did you just jump in?

I've been lurking this thread since its inception and I think she has learned a few things and has grown up or at least became more aware of how to handle this scenario in the future. People make mistakes and she made one (and admitted to it). Did you really have to be so harsh?

KIS!!!! Guess what, I agree with you!

She was already chewed out for her actions; I do believe that she has learned a great deal.

 

[kis123]

KIS!!!! Guess what, I agree with you!

She was already chewed out for her actions; I do believe that she has learned a great deal.

Holy friggin' cow!! I think the earth just moved!

We should throw a ticker tape parade complete with a national holiday! Me and Knot actually agree on something! I think they'll find the cure for some major disease today!!!!! Hey, hope springs eternal..........😀

 

[Knot Amewzed]

Holy friggin' cow!! I think the earth just moved!

We should throw a ticker tape parade complete with a national holiday! Me and Knot actually agree on something! I think they'll find the cure for some major disease today!!!!! Hey, hope springs eternal..........😀

FEBRUARY 5TH is KIS KNOT day!

 

[GirlWhoLikes2Laugh]

Did you read the entire thread before this eloquent response or did you just jump in?

I've been lurking this thread since its inception and I think she has learned a few things and has grown up or at least became more aware of how to handle this scenario in the future. People make mistakes and she made one (and admitted to it). Did you really have to be so harsh?

Thanks for sticking up for me kis because of that jerk.