N/C Tickle torture from a victim's perspective

[Horatio]

I thought this was interesting, sad, and certain to be controversial. It's kind of depressing (at least to me), so please consider yourself warned.

http://www.boomerwomenspeak.com/cgi-bin/ultimatebb.cgi?ubb=get_topic;f=20;t=000069

 

[ViperGTS]

That's a damn shame. They reference it in the Mental Illness section of the website. That either means we're all nuts, or those who consider tickling to be nothing more than a vicious and cruel means of torture are.

I am inclined to believe the latter.

I feel bad for those who have been only shown the negative aspects of tickling. if only they knew the other side of it...

 

[TKLDNSNE]

Wow. That is very sad indeed. To have bad experiences in childhood like that and then to turn off the experience later. That is horrible. Thank You for posting this.

 

[ViperGTS]

I kind of have to laugh at the last couple of posts on there, though...

"ZOMGWTF NO BOYS ALLOWED!!1!!"

I wonder if there any all men sites like this.

 

[tickledorange]

Sooooo....they don't allow men to talk to them there and WE at the TMF have the mental illness??? Oooooook.

 

[TKLDNSNE]

Man. i did not see the response to you. what a shame. Oh well.

 

[leeboy]

I will gladly sacrifice myself to all those woman who wish to get revenge on all those who have tickled them in the past. If tying me down and tickling me unmercifully is what it would take to rid them of their fears than so be it. All for the cause of humanity.

 

[toneus79]

Horatio there is nothing to be depressed about. The important things to remember are:
1) Tickling like any other aspect of sexual behaviour is abusive if it is not consensual.
2) All of us here on this forum are here because we like Tickling as Lers and/or Lees. This is not how most people see Tickling (and we should not get carried away by our fantasies and forget this). Most people have probably been Tickled initially as children by: parents, friends or siblings in a bullying way, and will therefore always associate it as a painful unpleasant activity.
3) Every other non vanilla sexual activity from Spanking to Watersports seems weird to me, yet their afficinados will feel exactly the same about their fetish as we do about ours.
4) Ultimately the women in that discussion are wrong to see Tickling as a negative activity for everyone else, just as we are wrong if we consider tickling as an activity that everyone else should enjoy.

 

[Butterfly wings]

And websites like boomerwomenspeak that posts threads on tickling torture and other websites putting down tickling are NEW to you guys? 😛

I feel really sad and bad for thoses women that have had bad times with tickling and horrorable experiences with it. But no websites or posts like that one. Is not going to make me stop loving tickling or watch tickling videos or to tickle other people. Just because other women or guys out there in the world have had ruff tickling outings does not mean that i have to give up my right to love and enjoy tickling.

 

[daryl]

I don't think this is anything different than has been posted in our own tmf threads about using tickling as punishment or real torture as opposed to fantasies. Anything without consent has generally been discussed the same way here, and we have jumped very ugly (rightfully, in my opinion) with anyone who defended anything without consent.

 

[kered]

Horatio there is nothing to be depressed about. The important things to remember are:
1) Tickling like any other aspect of sexual behaviour is abusive if it is not consensual.
2) All of us here on this forum are here because we like Tickling as Lers and/or Lees. This is not how most people see Tickling (and we should not get carried away by our fantasies and forget this). Most people have probably been Tickled initially as children by: parents, friends or siblings in a bullying way, and will therefore always associate it as a painful unpleasant activity.
3) Every other non vanilla sexual activity from Spanking to Watersports seems weird to me, yet their afficinados will feel exactly the same about their fetish as we do about ours.
4) Ultimately the women in that discussion are wrong to see Tickling as a negative activity for everyone else, just as we are wrong if we consider tickling as an activity that everyone else should enjoy.

BRAVO.BRAVO.

 

[wendynpeter]

FIRST of all, "bj" is probably a pathetic man with a tickle fetish who logged on to a female website and got the women to talk about tickling. Re-read "bj"'s opening post. Out of left field, isn't it? All the talk about doing a search for "tickle torture," how "she didn't open the sites -- but not a single mention of what prompted that search - methinks the "lady" protests too much.

 

[OBleedingMe]

That is a terribly sexist forum. Why only women are allowed to post on there, I don't know. If I started a forum where only men were allowed to post, I have my doubts that it would last very long. Why are women allowed to enjoy such a double standard?

It is also evident from many of the posts in that thread that many of those women have a grudge against their fathers and other men in their life. I believe the phrase power and control were mentioned many times in the thread, and how that's all men want. I find it quite ironic that by excluding an entire gender from the forum they themselves are exercising the "Power and Control" they so loathe. Sort of reminds me of those feminist equality "Women ONLY" meetings that went on in my college.

These are the sort of women who condemn any sort of sexual situation where men are in control but laude any situation where a woman is in complete control over the man. Their opinions carry no value for me.

 

[KittenToes]

To arms, ladies!

http://www.boomerwomenspeak.com/cgi-bin/ultimatebb.cgi?ubb=get_topic&f=20&t=000069&p=2#000019

I posted in this thread (under the name AnonymousCat). I think these women need to hear the argument FOR tickling.Gentlemen, if you go here and post, it will just defeat our purpose, because the Mother Superior moderator of this forum will just tell you to go away. But ladies, please, follow my example and show these sad women the good side of tickling! Go get em' girls,any perspective welcomed, lee' or ler'! Don't let these "boomers" keep putting us in the category of Mental Illness! Or at least let them know that if we are sick, we're proud of it!

 

[marcusb]

Why stick your hand into a hive of angry bees?

Just leave 'em alone... nothing you say will change any of their minds and ultimately you'll give them ammuntion against tmf members and reinforce their narrorw views.

 

[LindyHopper]

The moderators' response to "Mark" rubbed me the wrong way, too, but let me try to come in on their side.

I don't think women form female-only forums or other groups because they're sexist. If they had issues with abusive men in the past, then an all-female forum is a place where they can feel safe from that sort of abuse. Sure, dealing with your problems with the opposite sex by hiding from it probably isn't a great long-term solution, but for some, it may be a necessary step.

OBleedingMe made some comments about women, power, and equality. I think the history of feminism looks kind of like a pendulum that's gradually settling towards the center. Women of my grandmother's generation were supposed to serve the husband and the family. Women of my mother's generation (the Boomers that that website is for) swung the other way - feminists had worked so hard to get them the right to have power and control that you felt guilty if you didn't take advantage of it. I think the women of my generation are, in many ways, the first to have a real choice - I can be an engineer if I want to, but I can also choose to stay home and raise my kids.

My point is, I think some (older) women are still reacting, and sometimes overreacting, to domineering men. They used to bother me too, for being anti-equality, but now I try to cut them some slack. They're part of a generation that did a lot of fighting so that I could choose to be submissive if I wanted to.

And KittenToes: kudos for speaking up! I think you did a good job, so I'll not chime in at this time. I wouldn't want to overwhelm them with our open-mindedness: if they opened their minds too far, their brains would probably fall out. 😉

 

[TMF Jeff]

I have to say, my reaction to this was exactly the opposite of seemingly everyone else's here.

First, I don't have any problem with them having an all women forum. If a group of women want to get together and talk amongst themselves, who are we to say they can't do that? The idea that this is somehow unfair seems a little weird to me. When chess players form a chess club are they being unfair to non-chess players? When golfers don't let non-golfers wander around the green sightseeing are they being exclusionary? I think it's perfectly fine for them to do what they're doing, and I thought they were very polite to the guy who posted.

As for the tickling thing, the people who wrote about it had had very negative and traumatic experiences, and I think they have every right to feel the way they do about it. In the same way that we have every right to enjoy tickling in whatever form we choose to enjoy it, and we want to be accepted without judgement, they have the right to not enjoy it and be accepted without judgement.

There's a long list of things that other people like that I don't like. Some of them I approve of, and others gross me out and/or I think they're stupid or mentally unhealthy. But consenting adults have the right to do or not-do whatever they please with their own lives. Including hate being tickled and think that non-consensual tickle torture, especially that of children (which is mostly what they were talking about) is wrong.

 

[WorkInProgress]

Speaking as both a tickler and a man, I think an all-women's forum is perfectly legitimate, I think an all-men's forum would be equally legitimate and would probably not be given a hard time at all, and I think the monitor on that site was extremely courteous to the male TMF poster who posted there, simply pointing out that it was a women-only site and thanking him for his good intentions.

Moreover, I think posters here at TMF will be the first to agree that it would not be right to hold their children down and tickle them for any substantial length of time, and a number of the women over there had precisely that done to them. I don't think they need to be shown the error of their ways about tickling, because their only point is that it has been used on them as abuse. Perhaps some of them would be interested to know that there is such a thing as consensual tickling and that there are bona fide lees who desire it, but the point their making is, when it's long and non-consensual, it truly is a form of rape, or at least a form of molestation, and when it's long and non-consensual and parent-to-child, it's a form of incest.

 

[tickleublue]

re tickling abuse

Mental illness? lol. Then I am CRAZY! What will be next, therapists that specilize in treating tickle victims. Let them have their board, we have ours.

 

[KittenToes]

This reply is for the fellows who were taking the side of the women's site. I posted on it, with complete sympathy for their past problems with tickling, because I felt that they needed to hear that consensual tickling could be enjoyable. I sensed an extreme anti-male sentiment while reading those posts regardless of whether they admitted it or not. I felt that needed to be addressed. One woman also mentioned that she would not allow her husband to tickle their children and freaked out whenever he did, which is not a healthy attitude to pass on to your kids. And from my own (female)perspective, sites like this do not really help the afflicted parties. All they really do is provide a space where prejudices can be confirmed and validated by others with similar prejudices, thus strengthening their ill-informed opinions. Yes, I agree that my post will not really help matters, but hopefully someone will read it and realize that not all tickling activities are solely the domain of sadistic, overbearing males or mentally ill child abusers. I have already received a reply to my post on the women's forum. The respondent says that my post has confirmed that tickling is sexual and therefore would be a form of rape or abuse. She has missed my point that it is sexual for me, but would not be so if someone other than my ler' of choice were to tickle me, and that for the majority of people it is merely a happy and natural way of releasing endorphins. So I may have to venture yet again into the "hornet's nest" and clarify....

 

[CaptainQuantum]

I think the male TMF member actually was treated quite politely, as was KittenToes. Especially considering what an emotionally charged issue this was for the women who posted. I could easily have seen it being much worse.

I probably would have posted there too had I seen that thread, to try to explain that tickling like anything else can be abused but that doesn't make it bad in and of itself. But I can also understand if their experiences with tickling were that traumatic, not wanting to hear ANYTHING about tickling in a positive sense. And it is a shame.

What I don't get, KoocheeKoo, is a site that was supposed to be "family oriented" and "for christians" even having a thread about people's fetishes to begin with. I mean if they're the type of christian who thinks that if you're a christian you have to be all wholesome like Little House on the Prairie, you'd think they'd be aghast at ANYONE talking about ANY fetishes there. But whatever. Sorry for your experiences though.

 

[OBleedingMe]

Thanks for backing me up, KittenToes.

As for the rest of you, I think you underestimate hypocrisy of the modern-day feminist movement. All women groups are lauded as "empowering" and "supportive" while all men groups are condemned as "sexist" and "misogynistic." You've heard of plenty of support groups for women going through divorce, but have you ever heard of an all men's divorce support group? Women fight and fight to "break into" all men's golf leagues, but deny admittance to any men attempting to enter an all women's golf league. There are all-female colleges ALL OVER THE COUNTRY. Hell, the one by me, Georgian Court College, had a sit-down student protest when a male tried to enroll there. Can anyone here name me one all-male college?

This forum is a typical example of a bunch of VERY bitter women getting together and talking about how horrible and terrible men are. Shit, according to them, when I horse around with my 2 year old nephew I'm ABUSING him. These misandrists (man-haters) are half a step away from saying men should be removed from the family picture completely. They're really sick. They call poking a person in the stomach when they don't want to be RAPE. Most of these women must have not been abused to throw that word around so cheaply.

Frankly, I'd love to hear what the women on that forum think of a MALE ONLY forum. Somehow, I doubt they would be very receptive to it.

 

[tickledorange]

But ladies, please, follow my example and show these sad women the good side of tickling!

Nah, they'd probably yell at me then because I'm not a boomer.

Wouldn't it be wierd if they had a thread there going on at the same time about the TMF and both of our threads were about the same thing?

 

[toneus79]

Way to go Kittentoes I thought your comments on their forum were balanced, and should give them a different perspective.

However if someone for instance has a phobia about spiders (perhaps one bit them when they were younger) they may learn to control it over time, but they are never going to get a job working with them (duh - what am I on about ?). Ultimately different strokes for different folks.

Also I am with Jeff in so much as I support peoples rights to organise private clubs (i.e. would we want a continual steam of spanking/watersports fetishists on the TMF posting their material, and trying to convert us).

 

[Em Es]

Right on, KittenToes

Thanks for posting on that web site!