Need some advice

[ticklewolf89]

Hey guys, I'm back (again) after being away for a little bit. I just can't seem to escape this place. =p

Thought I'd post in this section because I could use a bit of advice. I've been trying to figure myself out, and work on trusting others and being more open. I've noticed that I've gotten more comfortable with disclosing things about myself, but the one thing I've never told any of my friends or exes (outside of a few people from the community), I've never said a word about tickling. And I'm wondering if there's some way I could go about discussing it. Have any of you struggled with this? Am I the only one who keeps it a secret? I wonder if I should just not tell anybody, or if I'd feel better getting the word out. I wish I knew the best way to bring it up without having to fear it making the other person uncomfortable/weirded out.

Any thoughts on the matter would be appreciated. 🙂

 

[MrTicklefeet1]

Being a female should be easier for you. Especially if you're into being a lee, shouldn't be hard to get a session going with whom ever you choose.

 

[Starkiller1]

I know exactly the how you feel. I too remain in the tickle closet. I've never felt comfortable enough with anyone to talk about this stuff. I've even subtly steered a conversation towards tickling/foot stuff and the results have never been favorable. I find the best solution is actually this place. It's awesome to be able to discuss and see other peoples thoughts on things that you can't discuss with friends and family.

 

[ticklewolf89]

I keep coming back to this place (I lost count of how many "hiatuses" I've had) because at least you all understand, and at least I can openly discuss tickling with you guys. It's just hard to think that this is a part of myself I keep hidden. I feel like I'm not being completely honest with myself or the people I've been in relationships with, and that's unfair. I mean, I'm not expecting to reveal it and have everyone else go "OH WAIT US TOO" and have a parade or anything. I just want to be able to say it and then move on. I feel like I could maybe just say it, since some of my guy friends have mentioned their fetishes and none of those are a big deal, but I wonder if mine is just too weird for them. I don't know.

I actually was talking to someone about how one of my exes made a joke about it. We were messing around, and he started tickling me, and he made a comment about how he knew I loved it or something. And he probably wasn't being serious, but I couldn't tell. So maybe it's not that big of a secret. Or maybe I should take opportunities like those to just admit it, and hope that I can talk about it without it being a huge deal, and move on. I just don't want anybody to look at me like I'm weird or treat me differently. =/

 

[BarefootMasseus]

Selective

Be carefully selective who you share with. Not everyone shares our love for tickling.

 

[Tyralin]

You want to make sure that the person you're talking with is really someone to want to know about it. It's a dangerous thing to confide in someone if you don't know you can trust them. But once that's settled, just take a minute to tell them you want to run something by them, warn them that it's slightly sexual in nature, whatever you'd prefer so that they know. Once they're all prepared, spill the beans. Simple as that. If someone would judge you for it or would truly feel so weirded out by it, then they probably aren't a good friend anyway. Don't worry about it too much. You are your own person, and they can't change that. ^_^

 

[ticklewolf89]

Thanks guys. ^_^ It's obviously still something that I'm just thinking about, don't know that I'll be able to do it or that I have anyone at the moment that I'd want to tell/who I could, I guess, act it out with...but fingers are crossed that I'll get there one day.

 

[Tyralin]

Well, speaking of it doesn't have to be step one. A subtle jab to provoke a tickling response is perfectly acceptable as a introduction. 😛

 

[laughingisgood]

I only told one person, who is my ex that I dated for 2 years. It was surprisingly not a big deal when I told her. We never did anything much with it (which I regret cuz she was always willing to do what I asked) but none of my other friends know.

I guess as advice, if you can trust the person and already have something going sexually with them it would probably be okay to talk to them about your fetish and get something going with that :stickout

 

[larichmond]

For me, it's super hard to admit that I'm into tickling. I get so worried that the person is going to think I'm a freak.

But I decided to be brave one night, and tell a couple of my friends. Their reaction? "That's so cute! You're so lucky!"

Turns out, it's not a big deal. If you already talk to your friends about sexual things, then just mention it. For me, I had to mention it, because tickling is such an important part of my sex life. (I told my boyfriend even before we started dating, and it turns out, boys loveeee any excuse to touch us and make us laugh!)

So don't sweat it. 🙂

 

[TKLVR181]

It's hard for me to admit I like being tickled outloud--to my also-ticklephile husband--so no, you aren't alone in this. Others might not make a big deal out of it if you don't bring it up like it's a big deal: "yeah, I kinda like being tickled actually," or something like that. Of course, if you're trying for a bigger response, you could probably figure out way to swing that, too 😉

~K

 

[erraticemphatic]

A fair amount of people know about my foot fetish, because it's not something I feel that I need to hide as much and being able to acknowledge it is kind of important to maintaining a feeling of being out of any closets, so to speak. I believe only two people in the world, not on fetish communities, know about my tickling fetish. Even the foot fetish makes a lot of people uncomfortable, and I don't really know what to say for myself on the subject of tickling; it's much less certain/justifiable ground. I mentioned it a few times to a girlfriend I had for 1 year and a half; she didn't get weird about it, but it just never happened in any way whatsoever. It wasn't really even discussed.

Now, to the part that should be helpful: I have one particular friend with whom I really get along well and happens to be really into the concepts behind sexuality. So, one night, we just had a really long talk about lots of sexual things. Most of the conversation was spent on my foot fetish because I'm so much more comfortable with it, but, with some difficulty, I found it okay to blurt out that the tickle fetish existed as well. And it was okay. That's the sort of person you should talk to about it, someone with whom it's alright to talk about sex in the first place.

 

[Miss Sassy1]

I honestly just keep it a secret. If God forbid someone found out, well *Shudders*

 

[rerumfontis]

Hey guys, I'm back (again) after being away for a little bit. I just can't seem to escape this place. =p

Thought I'd post in this section because I could use a bit of advice. I've been trying to figure myself out, and work on trusting others and being more open. I've noticed that I've gotten more comfortable with disclosing things about myself, but the one thing I've never told any of my friends or exes (outside of a few people from the community), I've never said a word about tickling. And I'm wondering if there's some way I could go about discussing it. Have any of you struggled with this? Am I the only one who keeps it a secret? I wonder if I should just not tell anybody, or if I'd feel better getting the word out. I wish I knew the best way to bring it up without having to fear it making the other person uncomfortable/weirded out.

Any thoughts on the matter would be appreciated. 🙂

Dear ticklish wolf, this is a conundrum which most of us here have faced ... often ... and which others with equally ... powerful ... preferences ... which are not the 'expected ones' such a man with a breast preference or leg preference (I love legs but am fine with smaller breasts, myself) ... or a woman with a thing for muscles .... something they do not face as an effect of percentages. We are less 'common'.

I have been dealing with this since I was a child .... and not to embarrass anyone, my first masturbatory experience as a child was after seeing a cute girl on TV about my age, have her feet tickled. More than once i have confessed to a woman in whom I was interested, only to watch her instantly ... vanish. I will bet good money that a large percentage of us on this site have had similar experiences. You very well may have, too, and it is emotionally devastating. The trick is to feel them out a bit ... not actually say it .... but in my case .... gently incorporate it into other things .... playful and sexy. If you leave yourself wide open to tickles from someone and they utterly miss it ... odds are they do jot get it and never will. Others will go along with you .... for a while. Problem is, they will never be affected as you are, so this is actually sometimes the worst thing that can happen. Be particular .... and consider having some degree of arousal associated with tickling on the part of you prospective partner ... essential .... as essential as any other trait you desire .... you owe this to yourself :wub

 

[ticklewolf89]

Oh my gosh, I had forgotten I posted this thread! Thank you all so much for your input and advice. I don't know if I'm quite ready to open up to friends about my tickling just yet, but I'm starting to get more comfortable with it, and maybe I'll get there someday. <3

 

[TicklishBlackGuy]

you should when u havea big strong dragon at your side to help 😉

 

[ticklewolf89]

you should when u havea big strong dragon at your side to help 😉

Lol thanks, Dragon. I feel better about it now that I've become active on here again, and have more people with whom I can discuss my fetish and also just joke about other random things. You guys are all my friends, and I'm so glad I have this little family of goofballs to provide some support, comfort, and plenty of laughs! :wub

 

[TicklishBlackGuy]

haha glad we can help you, as u guys begin to help others as well like myself

 

[Rox_My_Sox1]

I don't keep it a secret so much as I feel that my personal sex life isn't really anyone else's business but my own. The only reason I chat / talk about it here on this board is because I don't have to give out my name, address, etc etc. My father and mother have so far been very accepting of the fact that I'm a lesbian, in love with another woman, and we're going to be married in a year or two but aside from that they know better than to pry into our private lives. My BBBFF (aka big brother best friend forever), is in fact, very protective of me when it comes to other people harassing me with questions about my sex life and I appreciate it.

 

[ticklewolf89]

I don't think that I -have- to tell every single person I know about it. Quite frankly, it's none of their business and I owe them no explanations or justifications. I'm comfortable enough with most of my close friends for all of us to talk openly about sex and our sex lives, though I'm sure there are things they haven't told me, just as there are things I haven't told them. I just wonder if I can go on through the rest of my life without the conversation about tickling coming up. I've had relationships in the past where my partner and I have shared the fetish and talked openly about it with each other, but unfortunately those all involved physical distance, so while the relationships were great, I felt that little part of me left unsatisfied. And I love that I can come on here and talk with people and get my fix, don't get me wrong, but I wonder if that's all I'll get. I don't want to have to keep sneaking around with it. I dunno. =/

 

[Ticklish&InLove]

I don't think that I -have- to tell every single person I know about it. Quite frankly, it's none of their business and I owe them no explanations or justifications. I'm comfortable enough with most of my close friends for all of us to talk openly about sex and our sex lives, though I'm sure there are things they haven't told me, just as there are things I haven't told them. I just wonder if I can go on through the rest of my life without the conversation about tickling coming up. I've had relationships in the past where my partner and I have shared the fetish and talked openly about it with each other, but unfortunately those all involved physical distance, so while the relationships were great, I felt that little part of me left unsatisfied. And I love that I can come on here and talk with people and get my fix, don't get me wrong, but I wonder if that's all I'll get. I don't want to have to keep sneaking around with it. I dunno. =/

I think it's natural that you wouldn't be I satisfied if your fetish doesn't get to be part if your intimate life. In fact, my hubby told me he was just angry with me for not telling him sooner as he loved how easy it was to get my hot and bothered via such a playful way. I think if someone really loves you, they will care enough to want you to be satisfied and to try and do what will make you happy, do long as it's harmless,...and tickling really is. In fact, my husband calls it "the most adorable fetish in the world"...and it kinda is! :stickout

 

[ticklewolf89]

I think it's natural that you wouldn't be I satisfied if your fetish doesn't get to be part if your intimate life. In fact, my hubby told me he was just angry with me for not telling him sooner as he loved how easy it was to get my hot and bothered via such a playful way. I think if someone really loves you, they will care enough to want you to be satisfied and to try and do what will make you happy, do long as it's harmless,...and tickling really is. In fact, my husband calls it "the most adorable fetish in the world"...and it kinda is! :stickout

I think that there's this fear to tell someone about it, even if we're incredibly close and being intimate with one another. I mean, rationally I know that (for me at least) there is so much trust, honesty, and communication that comes in building a relationship that becomes intimate, so I should feel comfortable telling my partner about my fetish. On the opposite side of my thinking, however, I worry that they'll react negatively and they'll be weirded out. Or they'll not have a reaction either way (I guess just an apathetic "Whatever") and they'll know about it, but nothing will come of it. *Shrug* I don't know, I'm being silly. It's just frustrating sometimes. But I'm stupidly optimistic that, some eventual day, I'll be able to be intimate with a person and incorporate some play. 😛

 

[Ticklish&InLove]

I think that there's this fear to tell someone about it, even if we're incredibly close and being intimate with one another. I mean, rationally I know that (for me at least) there is so much trust, honesty, and communication that comes in building a relationship that becomes intimate, so I should feel comfortable telling my partner about my fetish. On the opposite side of my thinking, however, I worry that they'll react negatively and they'll be weirded out. Or they'll not have a reaction either way (I guess just an apathetic "Whatever") and they'll know about it, but nothing will come of it. *Shrug* I don't know, I'm being silly. It's just frustrating sometimes. But I'm stupidly optimistic that, some eventual day, I'll be able to be intimate with a person and incorporate some play. 😛

I completely get where you're coming from. It was years before I admitted it to my husband, and ironically, he tickled the truth out of me! LOL! When he found out, he was so dumbfounded, but then got a wicked look in his eyes and ly me have it for hiding it so long!

 

[ticklewolf89]

I completely get where you're coming from. It was years before I admired it to my husband, and ironically, he tickled the truth out of me! LOL! When he found out, he was so dumbfounded, but then got a wicked look in his eyes and ly me have it for hiding it so long!

That's so adorable! I'm happy that everything worked out for you. <3 I just worry about actually telling people outside of this little community. I'll get there someday. Getting advice and support from all of you is certainly helping my confidence. 🙂

 

[Ticklish&InLove]

That's so adorable! I'm happy that everything worked out for you. <3 I just worry about actually telling people outside of this little community. I'll get there someday. Getting advice and support from all of you is certainly helping my confidence. 🙂

It takes a while, and if your partner isn't naturally drawn to your fetish, they will not have the same passion for it. But it is reasonable to expect them to participate as much as they are comfortable with to help you feel happy....no different than if your significant other likes you to wear lingerie it spandex or a short skirt...