No Job. No Desire to Work. Are you considered "Productive" ?!?

[coldneck]

While having beers with Jeremy over Christmas break, he was lamenting his current girlfriend and her lack of motivation and productivity.

"Man, I'm losing respect for her. All she wants to do is get high (weed) and mess with her new Kindle Fire. It's getting hard to be around her."

I can relate. I've ended relationships over this very issue.
I don't care if it's busing tables, slapping together sandwiches or hanging out in a comic book store ... people need to work.

I'm sure some have "good reasons" not to work. As Jeremy said, "Ask anyone who doesn't work, and they'll give you 10 good reasons why they don't."

So, what's your take?
Have you ever lost it for someone because they're unmotivated or make excuses for not working?!

 

[Bothersome]

I don't pick my friends based on how many hours a week they work, or how much money they make.

That aside, yes I have gotten frustrated with people who show no desire to pull their ass out of bed in the morning (myself included) but that doesn't mean I'm going to stop being their friend over it.

 

[GQguy]

I don't keep people like that near me...much less date them! They'll only bring me down. I'd waste money, time ect on a person that will never give that back to me. A black hole. I'd be wary of individuals like that. I think people tend to meet in the middle when they partner up. One person will carry the other. It's always best to choose friends that help you on your own personal weaknesses. If that person had no redeeming qualities then they'll only bring you down.

GQ

 

[milagros317]

I would have very little respect for somebody who doesn't work, doesn't live off money that they saved or invested when they were younger, and doesn't want to work, but rather gets by through sponging off of relatives, significant others, or friends.

 

[goddess_nemesis]

I know some people who lose the desire to find a job after losing one or having been without one for a long period of time might be suffering from depression. Maybe she should see a doctor to see if she is.

Otherwise, I have little respect for those who make excuses not to get a job and sponge off of others.

 

[Cosmo_ac]

It is possible that there is something medically wrong, but the boyfriend would probably have picked up on if she is suffering from Depression. Generally speaking, what your friend is talking about suggests the women is just lounging about doing nothing. That can deffinitly end a relationship fast.

 

[Mitchell]

I see two problems here.

The no desire to work is one problem.. but.. the whole thing of this girl doing nothing but getting high, is self destructive behavior.

I've already admitted to having experimented with weed in college.. However, I always showed up to my classes drug free, did all my work, turned in my assignments on time, and did my charity orginization work. The weed, and video games I played there, didnt affect my abiility to do my schoolwork, or other work. This is the only perspective I have with drugs.. as I havent touched any drugs or alcohol in many years.

If your friend is frustrated with his gf, it would seem he should first tell her to lay off the drugs, and get on the straight and narrow path. If she cant do that, she wont be able to hold on to a job or position anywhere.

Perhaps she needs counesling of some kind. Hopefully, someone can get through to her, to get her life on the right path.

Mitch

 

[Bohemianne]

Without any illusory barrier, at times you can size up a person on what kind of girl/boy he chooses to hang around with.
In his case, he can go on or let go. It's his choice.

 

[PiedPiper]

It's great when one's avocation serves as vocation, as well,... I've always been fortunate that way. But providing for one's self and making one's own way is the most basic (and very healthy) condition for a well-rounded life. It would seem almost to be instinctive. I cannot imagine not working,...... what kind of life is that? There are things more essential to our being than shallow, momentary entertainment.

 

[Bothersome]

what kind of life is that?

A very boring, uninspiring, and depressing life.

 

[Marquis De Sade]

People do need to work. The way the world is currently structured (and perhaps always has been to some degree), their social status and their conditions of living depend on it.

I've lost some respect for people who've done the same but I'm careful to base it on what they're doing with their free time. A little R&R after losing a job is quite understandable if one has a means to survive in the meantime. I had a friend who hated his job with a passion as his boss was a raging dick of a human being and the job itself wasn't what he wanted to do in life. But he would still go for the money. Eventually that company folded though and he lived off of unemployment for months. He didn't bother looking for a new job right away but used his free time to put together a small production company and shoot a bunch of short films, one of which has won awards at local film festivals. He now has a survival job again but also has a body of work, accolades, several finished feature film scripts and fresh connections in the field he ultimately wants to work in. All of which wouldn't have be possible if he'd just run out and immediately gotten himself another job on a Tuesday after being let go on a Monday.

I myself have lost jobs and taken a long time to find not just another one, but a much BETTER one. And based on my track record, every job I've gotten after losing one has always paid more and the high risk/high reward mentality for me of not settling has always paid off.

As far as your friends' girlfriend, I personally would cut her a little slack if it were me, at least until the holidays are over. Take into account the current job market as it is and double that with the fact that it's also the holidays and it seems harder to find a job during before New Year.

Perhaps she'll after January 1st she'll feel recharged enough and more focused and driven to go out and find something. 🙂

While having beers with Jeremy over Christmas break, he was lamenting his current girlfriend and her lack of motivation and productivity.

"Man, I'm losing respect for her. All she wants to do is get high (weed) and mess with her new Kindle Fire. It's getting hard to be around her."

I can relate. I've ended relationships over this very issue.
I don't care if it's busing tables, slapping together sandwiches or hanging out in a comic book store ... people need to work.

I'm sure some have "good reasons" not to work. As Jeremy said, "Ask anyone who doesn't work, and they'll give you 10 good reasons why they don't."

So, what's your take?
Have you ever lost it for someone because they're unmotivated or make excuses for not working?!

 

[chicago]

I been smoking nearly every day for the past 5 years and I still manage to keep 2 jobs. Just got a pretty sweet promotion actually so being a pothead ain't no excuse LOL

 

[PhoenixRising]

I'll do whatever is necessary to survive, even if it means bagging groceries again.

 

[mabus]

The answer to the main question is, if you're not working, or producing anything, by definition, you are not productive.

It's different when it's a significant other/spouse who's not working, as compared to friends.
It's your friends business if they don't have a job, as long as they don't start mooching off of you. I have several friends who don't have jobs, and it doesn't
bother me at all, because it's their life. (I have intensely helped them find work, before you start assuming... None of their other friends have really bothered...)

But a spouse or significant other, especially spouse - you see them every damn day, at some point you're going to be like "Honey, get off your ass and get to work."

"Little smart-ass douche-bag troll" : Well, well, what about stay at home mom's!!! Ninny ninny nin!
Shut the fuck up dickhead!

There are scores of stay at home moms....who are PRODUCTIVE! I, being different that most guys, TOTALLY agree that a mom staying home and cleaning the house, taking care of the kids, (saving money on maid work and day care) IS highly productive. Many day cares charge so much, it equals a salary by NOT going there. Productivity is "things happen," "things get better."
Doing the dishes, washing the clothes, taking care of the house, kids, parents, etc. IS very productive, life stays better.

Sitting there smoking pot all day long is NOT productive, nor would be playing video games all day, watching TV all day, etc.

Marquis De Sade used an example, but AGAIN, the guy WAS working. He didn't have a specific job, but he was working, yes it was fun, but it was work - he produced films, entertainment, started a company, got connections, resume was enhanced greatly, won awards. All of this is productivity. Work doesn't have to be a miserable drag to be considered work. The goal of everyone in America is to find a job that's fun and fulfilling. But in all those jobs, you either produce something or make someone's life better as a service.

 

[Bohemianne]

The answer to the main question is, if you're not working, or producing anything, by definition, you are not productive.

It's different when it's a significant other/spouse who's not working, as compared to friends.
It's your friends business if they don't have a job, as long as they don't start mooching off of you. I have several friends who don't have jobs, and it doesn't
bother me at all, because it's their life. (I have intensely helped them find work, before you start assuming... None of their other friends have really bothered...)

But a spouse or significant other, especially spouse - you see them every damn day, at some point you're going to be like "Honey, get off your ass and get to work."

"Little smart-ass douche-bag troll" : Well, well, what about stay at home mom's!!! Ninny ninny nin!
Shut the fuck up dickhead!

There are scores of stay at home moms....who are PRODUCTIVE! I, being different that most guys, TOTALLY agree that a mom staying home and cleaning the house, taking care of the kids, (saving money on maid work and day care) IS highly productive. Many day cares charge so much, it equals a salary by NOT going there. Productivity is "things happen," "things get better."
Doing the dishes, washing the clothes, taking care of the house, kids, parents, etc. IS very productive, life stays better.

Sitting there smoking pot all day long is NOT productive, nor would be playing video games all day, watching TV all day, etc.

Marquis De Sade used an example, but AGAIN, the guy WAS working. He didn't have a specific job, but he was working, yes it was fun, but it was work - he produced films, entertainment, started a company, got connections, resume was enhanced greatly, won awards. All of this is productivity. Work doesn't have to be a miserable drag to be considered work. The goal of everyone in America is to find a job that's fun and fulfilling. But in all those jobs, you either produce something or make someone's life better as a service.

^ 10 points. 😉

 

[GQguy]

Just beware....being a loser is very contagious. Hanging out with them should be avoided at all cost lest you catch the disease.

GQ

 

[Mitchell]

GQ, I partially agree with you that one's friends behaviors can influence them, but not necessarially.

When I was in college, I had two friends who were both extremely heavy drinkers. We would go to clubs on Saturday nights, and they wouldnt be happy, unless they had drank themselves under the table, and were drunk, and hung over. As much as I tried to get them to curb their drinking, they just wouldnt listen. I hung out with these guys for a few years, but never turned into a drinker myself. I had to be designated driver if we went out, as they would often be drunk, and others would be drinking as well. In addition to that, I saw no point to intentionally getting drunk, to feel sick, and hung over, every Saturday night/Sunday Morning. To drink just for the point of getting drunk, seemed stupid.

Willpower can be a strong tool. Somebody can choose to be, or not to be.. a drunk, drug addict.. or loser. I dont believe its contagious. Its a choice one makes.

Mitch

 

[Bothersome]

I don't believe in selecting my friends and companions by their lifestyle or income. That's a kind of mindset that I'd be disgusted to see in myself.

The best thing to do for a 'loser' is not to ostracize them. Be a role model, not an asshole.

 

[GQguy]

I don't believe in selecting my friends and companions by their lifestyle or income. That's a kind of mindset that I'd be disgusted to see in myself.

The best thing to do for a 'loser' is not to ostracize them. Be a role model, not an asshole.

GQ, I partially agree with you that one's friends behaviors can influence them, but not necessarially.

When I was in college, I had two friends who were both extremely heavy drinkers. We would go to clubs on Saturday nights, and they wouldnt be happy, unless they had drank themselves under the table, and were drunk, and hung over. As much as I tried to get them to curb their drinking, they just wouldnt listen. I hung out with these guys for a few years, but never turned into a drinker myself. I had to be designated driver if we went out, as they would often be drunk, and others would be drinking as well. In addition to that, I saw no point to intentionally getting drunk, to feel sick, and hung over, every Saturday night/Sunday Morning. To drink just for the point of getting drunk, seemed stupid.

Willpower can be a strong tool. Somebody can choose to be, or not to be.. a drunk, drug addict.. or loser. I dont believe its contagious. Its a choice one makes.

Mitch

Alcoholism is not contagious. Being a loser is. Try it! Hangout with people that have no ambition in life, no goals ect. If you are one that has that ambition guess what happens....you try and help them out! But...the time you spend helping them out is time spent not focusing on what you have to do or what you could do. You use your ingenuity for them and not yourself. If they have no ambition..your efforts would be in vain...no one wins. Of course saying "stay away from losers" is easier said than done when you love them. I know this. I have losers that I love too.

Ostracize? Asshole? I'd never call anyone willing to help themselves a loser...why...because if you help yourself eventually you will stop losing. But if you don't help yourself losing will be a habit...hence the term loser. There's nothing that anyone can do for that individual. Tossing in time and attention towards someone that is intent on accomplishing good only brings you down. Surround yourself with successful people and you'll be constantly given good ideas on how to better yourself. When you're in a slump they'll pull you up and vice versa. A loser will never pull you up...they're too focused on themselves.

Lead, Follow or get out of the way. If someone is willing to see me as a role model I am more than willing to lead them.

Thought experiment...take two equally talented individuals. Surround one with the ambitious sort and the other with the sort mentioned by the OP. Extrapolate 10 years from now...who is likely to be more successful? Beware the company you keep....positivity is contagious...and so is negativity.

GQ

 

[Bothersome]

Again. I'm not going to pick my friends/loved ones based on their lifestyle.

I can't fathom what a girl's reaction would be if I strolled up to her and said 'You're lucky that you're successful. Otherwise I wouldn't be hanging out with you right now.'

 

[GQguy]

Again. I'm not going to pick my friends/loved ones based on their lifestyle.

I can't fathom what a girl's reaction would be if I strolled up to her and said 'You're lucky that you're successful. Otherwise I wouldn't be hanging out with you right now.'

Lol. Girls with options size us up everyday. Before we even saw her she already "sized" us up.

And I'd never say anything like that. Because I don't believe that. Success is a mind frame...not a destination. I LOVE helping people make career decisions. Hell, you can look at my visitor page and see me counseling a guy on doing what i've done. But! He had desire. Ambition.

So to put proper words in my mouth..I'd say before I asked a girl out "You seem like a girl that really knows what she wants out of life and goes after it! You're gorgeous and could have everything handed to you yet you go get it on your own. Let's grab a drink after work tomorrow."

Of course the drinks will be my treat...and if things go well...an impromptu dinner afterward.

GQ

 

[Bothersome]

You probably don't believe an ideology like this, but I believe firmly that everyone is only as good as they're genetically predisposed to be.

That's why I'd never pick my friends based on how they live their life. There's no real excuse to not be working by choice, but not everyone can be a Thomas Edison or Nikola Tesla. Not everyone can be stunning, brilliant, or gifted. Not everyone can be successful.

 

[Mitchell]

GQ, you mentioned "loser". I personally think people can be "losers" in different ways.

How about people who do well financially, but have abusive character, and whose children despise them, like my father.. or.. my uncle.. for that matter? I spoke to my uncle's son a few times in my life, and the son hates my uncle's guts. The son says that my uncle is as emotionally abusive to him, as my father was to me. Are my father and uncle "winners", just because they make a lot of money? Doesn't personality and character count for anything?

My ex best friend is another example. He has a government job. Yet..he's been cited for road rage, and sexual harassment, on several occasions, by both the police, and supervisors at his work places, on two jobs. Illegal behavior that could have gotten him fired, or landed him in jail.. for those actions. Is he a "winner", just because he'll work in the post office his whole life? Again, what about his personality, and character?

People can be "losers" in many ways, but, I look at the person as a whole. Working is important, as I said before, but, to me, there is a lot more to a person's character than just work, before I classify them as either a winner or loser.

Mitch

 

[GQguy]

You probably don't believe an ideology like this, but I believe firmly that everyone is only as good as they're genetically predisposed to be.

That's why I'd never pick my friends based on how they live their life. There's no real excuse to not be working by choice, but not everyone can be a Thomas Edison or Nikola Tesla. Not everyone can be stunning, brilliant, or gifted. Not everyone can be successful.

Actually I do believe that intelligence can be an obstacle. Some have higher IQ's than others. Some come from less fortunate backgrounds ect. But! I do believe that everyone can achieve something. It can be as small as working your way up at McDonalds to store manager or as big as the imagination will allow. Not everyone can be stunning brilliant or gifted...but everyone can have ambition. The OP wasn't about her not being beautiful enough, or smart enough or talented enough....it was about her having no ambition...no drive.

Having ambition and having intelligence are two completely separate things and are rarely put together. The people that run our country obviously aren't the most intelligent bunch...but they ooze ambition.

GQ, you mentioned "loser". I personally think people can be "losers" in different ways.

How about people who do well financially, but have abusive character, and whose children despise them, like my father.. or.. my uncle.. for that matter? I spoke to my uncle's son a few times in my life, and the son hates my uncle's guts. The son says that my uncle is as emotionally abusive to him, as my father was to me. Are my father and uncle "winners", just because they make a lot of money? Doesn't personality and character count for anything?

My ex best friend is another example. He has a government job. Yet..he's been cited for road rage, and sexual harassment, on several occasions, by both the police, and supervisors at his work places, on two jobs. Illegal behavior that could have gotten him fired, or landed him in jail.. for those actions. Is he a "winner", just because he'll work in the post office his whole life? Again, what about his personality, and character?

People can be "losers" in many ways, but, I look at the person as a whole. Working is important, as I said before, but, to me, there is a lot more to a person's character than just work, before I classify them as either a winner or loser.

Mitch

Your question is off subject. We're talking about whether someone with no job and no ambition is productive. The answer obviously is no. I termed those individuals losers to make a succinct point about how the attitude can be contagious. Losers are what one wants to define them as. But I don't think anyone would disagree with that characterization....especially those that have ambition and work hard. Wealth has nothing to do with it. There are plenty of wealthy losers out there not working with no ambition to, living off of the hard work of their forefathers.

The OP's question was "No Job, no desire to work. Are you considered productive". The Uncle and Father would be considered productive. Not losers in the sense that I defined earlier( losers=no job/no ambition). Could they be losers in another sense? Sure! But in the scope of the thread? No. They contribute to society, they take care of themselves and likely others, they have ambition.

To me...and in the scope of this thread a "winner" is someone that has ambition and works their but off for their goals. Could be the trash man...but he still contributes to society. Girls that smoke weed all day and don't work with no desire to work do not contribute to society.

GQ

 

[Bothersome]

So then, you would consider being the cashier at a McDonalds 'successful'?

I think most people call them losers, to be honest.