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Non Ticklish Girlfriend Causing DEPRESSION

D

Dirkman

TMF Regular
Joined
Oct 1, 2001
Messages
286
Points
16
I've posted about this a few times before.. but now its gotten worse.

I met my girlfriend 6 months ago. By far the hottest girl I've dated, she's unreal looking, its what first attracted me to her. On a relationship level, we are a lot alike, both very mushy, love to spend time together. But compared to my last relationship which had a ticklish scale of 11, this girl is a 2. I wish I never got so serious in the first place, because now its 6 months later and I really love the girl.. but hate how she's not ticklish. I'm watching tickle vids about 80% more then I used to. The fact that she is so unticklish is almost making me feel anger and anomosity towards her and a bit of depression. I have flashbacks of being single and going out to clubs and hooking up with girls and getting thrilled when I found out how ticklish they were..

She has very little clue of how I'm feeling, does NOT know of my "fetish" although she certainly knows I love trying to tickle her.. She says I've been acting distant lately. She is extremely in love with me and I would crush her heart if I broke up with her. I can't emphasize that last one enough. Oh and on top of all this, she practically lives with me..

advice?
 
Communication

When i look for a date i usually hope to find a female that is compartable and fun to be around, you know great sense of humor, attracitve and also ticklish. That is a big bonus. I dont think its a big thing looking for someone with all those qualities. It what makes you happy you should go for it. The problem is you seemed to have found the perfect mate but that one thing is a problem. But then again not. First you havent spoken to her about your fetish. I suggest you do and quickly. Its a relationship a give and take and there is supposed to be communication and there seems to be a lack of it coming from you. Secondly you said on a scale of 1 to 10 she is a 2. Dude do you know what kinda damage can be done to a lvl 2 lee. Oh i could tell you stories. But i not here heheheh. But i'll give you a hint, a tied up person gets at least a +3 to ticklishness. Is that better stats for you.

Talk to that girl man. Its her right to know whats going on in ur head.
 
Short, yet good, advice:

TALK TO HER!!!

Seriously, the fact that you haven't communicated that with her is bad enough. But letting it affect your mood? You need to let her know this about you. Let her tickle you, if need be. But you should let her know this about you because it is a part of who you are and not because you're depressed. You have the right to tell her and she has a right to know.
 
You've gotta talk to her. If you love each other (which is difficult to beleive after only 6 months but that's just my opinion) then she'll understand and at least talk with you about it.
 
I would say, off the top of my head, if you can't talk to her about your fetish and your feelings, it can't really be that deep of a relationship anyway. So either step it up or back it off... be honest with her about what's going on in your head, and bring things to the next level, which is probably the level they should be at after six months anyway.

Or break up with her and find someone who makes you more satisfied.
 
You waited to damn long! now its going to be harder to break up with her. and thats your only option. unless shes open to letting you do tickling sessions only, with other people to get your fix.
 
Do her a favor and break up with her. If her not being ticklish is cause depression for you then end it. You won't magically get over it like she won't magically become ticklish. I you like her at all, break up with her. The sooner the better.
 
Dirkman said:
I've posted about this a few times before.. but now its gotten worse.

I met my girlfriend 6 months ago. By far the hottest girl I've dated, she's unreal looking, its what first attracted me to her. On a relationship level, we are a lot alike,

no you're not.

both very mushy, love to spend time together. But compared to my last relationship which had a ticklish scale of 11, this girl is a 2. I wish I never got so serious in the first place, because now its 6 months later and I really love the girl..

this is why taking the courtship process seriously is so important.

but hate how she's not ticklish. I'm watching tickle vids about 80% more then I used to.

that's called cheating.

The fact that she is so unticklish is almost making me feel anger and anomosity towards her and a bit of depression. I have flashbacks of being single and going out to clubs and hooking up with girls and getting thrilled when I found out how ticklish they were..

She has very little clue of how I'm feeling, does NOT know of my "fetish"

If YOU'RE NOT HONEST what do you expect?

although she certainly knows I love trying to tickle her.. She says I've been acting distant lately. She is extremely in love with me and I would crush her heart if I broke up with her. I can't emphasize that last one enough. Oh and on top of all this, she practically lives with me..

advice?
Click to expand...

some people are going to coddle you. not me.

This is because you were not honest from 21 jump street. and don't tell me about how much it would CRUSH HER... you already told on yourself when you said that she is the HOTTEST (this is proof that that means nothing) girl that you ever dated. You know what has to be done but you can't bear the thought of letting the hot chick go.

It's simple.

1.) tell her about your fetish, what you need, and talk about how she can help fulfill that for you. maybe she can get more pedicures or not fight it so much etc. etc. etc. you haven't even TECHNICALLY tried yet because you are afraid to tell her who you REALLY are. that means on some fundamental level you don't value her. technically you are about 2-4 years of study from being mature enough to date, but in the current circumstance i am going to try and coach you through this.

2.) sexual icompatability is a non-negotiable. there is nothing that you can do in that case. you have to end it if she can't fulfill your needs. Don't buy into the horse crap about well my relationship is "bigger than sex" so i will have a miserable life with someone i am fundamentally uncompatable with and then i will spend hundreds of dollars every month on porn or thousands a year on pro doms to tickle. you deserve better and she DAMN sure deserves better.

and this is a shout to everyone especially guys. we are the head. that means it is our responsibility to be open honest and make sure their is full disclosure. this date my representative crap gets you no where and only ends up hurting her. if you are not ready to be open and honest about who you are then sit on the god @#$@ bench until you are ready to go into the game. a woman is to be the queen of all our existance. they deserve more than the left overs from when we are done jerking off in front of a screen and not being honest about our sexuality.

we on this board have a gift, the ability to connect and identify with people that actually SHARE our enthusiasm. there are generations of ticklephiles before us that didn't have this option and had to muster the courage to look in the face of real societal anxt. we were on the TYRA BANKS SHOW for crying out loud. most chicks will probably think its cute or cool. women derive self esteem from being able to satisfy us sexually. just give them the oppurtunity.

and the biggest thing. when telling a woman about your fetish, NEVER BE GENERAL. its not, "Honey, i get turned on by women's laughter.." it's honey i get turned on by YOUR laughter. not I like to tickle and tease women its i want to tease and tickle YOU... not " I like to tie women up...." "Honey i always had this naughty fantasy of having you all tied up and just teasing every inch of your skin with feathers making you ACHE with arousal."

we have a leg up on the entire male population. most women can't get their guy to spell foreplay... we want to play bondage games, in most cases kiss and massage their feet, tease them to orgasm keep them on the edge and make multiple orgasms some sadistic game we play. most women who can survive the tickling just want to know where they can sign up as long as you make it about them and not acting out tickling clips.
 
Seriously, again, please don't take anyone's advice to heart. Nobody here knows you, or her, or anything about your situation other than the couple of paragraphs we read.

Nobody here is qualified to give you anything more than the most general of insight.

Take this all with a grain of salt. You know better than any of us.
 
ok a cold slap from the "dutch uncle"

you've got 2 choices; learn to be a better tickler, or ditch the bitch.
if it's getting to the point where you're entering into a state of depression, it's time to throw the key in the bucket, and move on!
sticking it out will only make both of you misserable, and jaded.
sorry to sound nasty, but this is a time for realization, not coddling.

steve
 
Tell her about ur fetish and tell her what u want and if she breaks up with you then screw her isnt the right one
 
You need to have honesty in a relationship. How can a relationship work if you don't.

You also aren't giving her much credit if you feel like you can't tell her. If it was me, I'd be hurt if my partner couldn't tell me the truth or what was on his mind that it was causing him so much grief, I'd feel a failure as he wasn't able to open up to me.

I'm sorry you feel this way, but, trust her and if you love her then tell her and now. If you tell her and she doesn't want to know then thats for her to deal with and at least you can know that she wasn't the one for you.

You have to keep the lines of communication open, anything can happen, she could even embrace it.
 
Dirkman said:
I've posted about this a few times before.. but now its gotten worse.

I met my girlfriend 6 months ago. By far the hottest girl I've dated, she's unreal looking, its what first attracted me to her. On a relationship level, we are a lot alike, both very mushy, love to spend time together. But compared to my last relationship which had a ticklish scale of 11, this girl is a 2. I wish I never got so serious in the first place, because now its 6 months later and I really love the girl.. but hate how she's not ticklish. I'm watching tickle vids about 80% more then I used to. The fact that she is so unticklish is almost making me feel anger and anomosity towards her and a bit of depression. I have flashbacks of being single and going out to clubs and hooking up with girls and getting thrilled when I found out how ticklish they were..

She has very little clue of how I'm feeling, does NOT know of my "fetish" although she certainly knows I love trying to tickle her.. She says I've been acting distant lately. She is extremely in love with me and I would crush her heart if I broke up with her. I can't emphasize that last one enough. Oh and on top of all this, she practically lives with me..

advice?
Click to expand...

What I get from this is that you want to break it off with her, but are a bit of a sop and so are clinging to your shit when you know it'd be better to flush it and move on. If you're feeling animosity towards her you don't love her. If you love someone you don't feel animosity towards them because of their faults, nor do you retreat into yourself as you appear to have done. You compromise. She isn't ticklish, so you have to find some other way to be with her and keep your fetish satisfied. You don't want to do that, so on point one all you can do is walk away. Nothing in this suggests to me that you love this girl; it does, however, suggest that you are being a bit of a wet fart in trying to cling onto a relationship with an attractive woman just because she's attractive. You know what you have to do, you're just too big of a pussy to go ahead and do it. I'd wager that if you do break up with her, her heart will likely not be as crushed as you seem to think. People are more resilient than you give them credit for.

What it boils down to is that you're not getting what you seem to desire above all else from this woman, so just bin her and move on 😀
 
GET RID OF HER!

If not, then the moment you meet/find another girl somewhere and you find out she IS ticklish, your going to start lying and finding ways to go out and get away from this one, just to go find out HOWticklish the other girl is. Because you KNOW this one isnt ticklish. I can guarantee you, all the talking and being honest in the world is NOT going to make her ticklish the way YOU like to tickle. Im not saying EVERY girl out there is going to be into sadistic tickling. But you have a better shot at starting with a "5" than to start with a "0" trying to reach the "10" zone.

Here's a brief comparison: I met a girl over the Net...Ive seen how she looks, she knows how I look. We talk by phone, IM, etc. and we have great conversations. But once I talked about her being a bad girl once over a situation, I said you need to be punished, and right away SHE said, "I know I know, I actually do like a lil punishment!" DING! That already has my curiosity. Then when I "jokingly" mention, "Where's my damn feathers, that's what Ill use on you..." she goes into "telephone-cough-choking-laughter" saying "you cant use those feathers on me, no wayyyy" DING DING. Im already dying to find out! MY only problem, I dont know what her feet look like yet. That is my ONLY worry, but my tickling fetish is almost over taking that....

Anyway. my rule is I dont care how hot a girl is, if her feet isnt right, I cant deal with her. With you, if her tickle isnt right, your not happy. Move on.
 
look just be honest with her and up front if you can't be honest and up front that why be with that person. if she truely cares she will at least try to understand. just go with you heart and if it work out i hope so but if not that she might not have been the right one later kyle
 
great advice here.

I'm going to balls out, and break up with her. Its going to be really hard but I know in the end I'll be happier. Just really sucks.

I've learned from this mistake though. No matter how attracted physically I am to a girl, I can't let it go too far knowing that I won't be satisfied unless she is ticklish.
 
Again, dont worry brother. Those of us here that have given you the advice about the break up, were not doing it to bust your balls. Its that some of us have been through this, and though it WILL HURT, it WILL pass. Someone else will come along. Yeah I know blurting it out "OH GOD YOU HAVE TO BE TICKLISH OR ELSE..." is not the thing to do, but you will eventually meet someone someday. Dont EVER let anyone tell you or make you feel you HAVE to be with someone...just to be with someone. Be with someone that makes YOU feel good and in turn you will make them feel good. Dont EVER, EVER, EVER EVER settle.

Many of my friends in real life and those that know me from here, know Andre dont care how hot a girl is, if her feet aint right, then neither will I. Yes some say shallow, but when im "getting it on" I know I gotta have a foot in my face, tongue on the toes, etc...but if she has feet like Whoopie Goldberg, then it aint happening. (and Lord knows Ive turned down many a girl with busted toes). And if they arent TICKLISH, then time to go down lonely road for a bit..UNTIL. Ok, be good, and let us know when you find the one. That is what this forum is for. We are who we are. Live it!
 
whoever said "learn to be a better tickler, or ditch the bitch".. that's a bit fucking harsh! idiot. some girls just aren't ticklish, and i doubt he wants to hear her called a bitch if he loves her

i feel sorry for you mate, it's not always as easy as 'talk to her'. I suppose you have to though. At the end of the day, if you need a girl to be ticklish to get turned on, then maybe she isn't for you..
and I know that is absolutely no help whatsoever, seeing as you are both in love. But i've been in love before, and i've seen many people in love, and the sad fact is it doesn't always finish too nicely, but you learn from it and move on

good luck with it.
 
get dry behind the ears, then try again..

Wildben said:
whoever said "learn to be a better tickler, or ditch the bitch".. that's a bit fucking harsh! idiot. some girls just aren't ticklish, and i doubt he wants to hear her called a bitch if he loves her

i feel sorry for you mate, it's not always as easy as 'talk to her'. I suppose you have to though. At the end of the day, if you need a girl to be ticklish to get turned on, then maybe she isn't for you..
and I know that is absolutely no help whatsoever, seeing as you are both in love. But i've been in love before, and i've seen many people in love, and the sad fact is it doesn't always finish too nicely, but you learn from it and move on

good luck with it.
Click to expand...

well deuche' bag, if you'd have read a little closer i clearly said it was going to be "a cold slap from a dutch uncle". since you are ignorant as hell i will explain, that means no holds bared, the straight truth w/o sugar coating, rough along the edges, no molly coddling. get it now? yeah i didn't think so.
as for my quip about being a better tickler, hell i have lost count long ago the number of ladies i have been able to effectivly tickle when other guys could not! a person CAN learn to be a more effective tickler.. well, maybe not you wilden.

steve
 
woah. you're an angry man steve, you've made your point pretty clear now, cheers!
 
A woman's perspective

A small piece of advice from a woman's perspective. My boyfriend and i have been together for about a year and he told me after about 2 months of dating about his fetish, it was the best conversation, we both were very honest with each other and now the relationship has no secrets where the tickling fetish is concerned. If you do in fact love her i would suggest having the talk as soon as possible. I know that before we had the talk i held my laughter in when he would playfully tickle me because i didn't want him to think i was odd. It's a little different for us because we both had the same fetish, we just didn't really know how to tell each other about it, but you never know maybe she is just hiding it or holding it in really well if you haven't talk about you don't really know for sure.

Talk to her and let her know how you are feeling it will help in the long run whether you stay together or not.
 
I had a friend once that was like that. She was drop dead gorgous but was like a rock. She let me play with her feet in nylons and was not even reflexive. Nothing it was boring but we had a great time and one day while teasing her I found a spot on her side that she didn't know was ticklish and she ended up on the floor begging for mercy.

dont give up theres hope.
 
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