Odd

[critterlord]

Okay, here's the setup. For the past five years, I have been followed around by jellybeans with legs. They are relentless, and for some strange reason, only I can see them. And they are fast. I try to hit them with things, but they are so fast, they dodge. In the beginning, there were only about five of them, but now there are at least twenty. Help me! I need to find a cure. I know I am not crazy, because the face in the mirror tells me I'm not. So does my cat (who has a PhD.) I feel I am trapped. I am not sure, but I think they have a secret reason for following me.

PS my teddy bear talks to me. Should I be worried?

PPS askdhg asudfoia shgli asvh oweig and how do you do!

 

[Limeoutsider]

Maybe your teddy bear commands them ?

 

[batch]

first you must determine the brand of the jellybeans. if they are starburst jellybeans, just ignore them... they should go away. if they do not go away, you've obviously eaten their mother. if these jellybeans are not starburst jellybeans... you're doomed.

 

[critterlord]

@ Limeoutsider: the jellybeans don't have ears, so my teddy bear couldn't command them.

@ batch: They are, of course, Bertie Botts Every Flavor Jelly Beans. I think some wizard is playing a prank on me (lousy wannabe wizards)

@ George: Quit making fun of me. You don't have to say such rude things about me.

 

[Haltickling]

Simple solution: Wait till you're really hungry, then eat those jellybeans, or donate them to the nearest kindergarten or orphanage... 😛

 

[His Divine Shadow]

Break out the flamethrowers. (I can loan you mine)

 

[ShiningIce]

Jellybeans........so it begins...

 

[critterlord]

@ Halticking, and HisDivineShadow. Thanks, but I am afraid it won't help. They are so bloody fast, I can catch them, or hit them with a flamethrower. I even tried a nuclear explosion. (my landlady had a fit.) Nice try.

@ Shining Ice. You don't know the 3/4 of it.

@ George. Will you just stop posting. We don't need to hear your little sarcastic comments.

Oh, and by the way, Crusty the Clown is coming for all of you! He won't come after me, because I taste like watermelon.

 

[His Divine Shadow]

You can borrow my Heisenburg Compensator. (If that doesn't do it, I don't know what will)

Also, does this mean I have to kill Crusty too?

 

[critterlord]

Well, I would like to thank all you people for posting on my thread and I WILL KILL YOU ALL!!!!! THEN I WILL STEAL YOU SOULS AND EAT YOUR PIE! MMM PIE!!!!!

Whoa, sorry, my subconscious got away for a second. Don't worry, I have given him his sedagive.

Anyway,

@ HisDivineShadow. Using the Heisenburg Compensator would mean me not being near in when it goes off, and as the jellybeans follow me, I have a little problem. Also, killing Crusty would mean upsetting all the little kids who watch his show. Then, they will come for you.

@ George. This is your last warning!

 

[His Divine Shadow]

I'll kill the kids too.

Critterlord: How about you borrow my pet Balrog? He's big, flaming, and can eat your pesky Jellybeans. Or we can implant a hell hole in your hand that will suck the jellybeans into the firery chasm.

 

[Limeoutsider]

@ Limeoutsider: the jellybeans don't have ears, so my teddy bear couldn't command them.

I never stated that he controlled them by vocal commands, now did I?

 

[critterlord]

Hold the Phone!

The jelly beans have just mentally contacted me. It seems that they are leading a mass jelly bean revolt against all tyranny and they have been inspecting me to see if I would make a great leader for the rebellion. I am now officially the Commander and Chief of the Grand Revolt of All Jelly Beings.

@ His Divine Shadow. For your massive support, I invite you and your Balrog to join our quest. I can make you Vice-Commander and Chief of the Grand Revolt of All Jelly Beings. Your Balrog can be our mascot.

@ Limeoutsider. You were half right. The teddy bear was not controling them, just spying for them. Also, he and the Jelly leader are trying to work out an alliance with the Teddy Bear Commandos. PS, you can join us too. I can get you a sweet position.

@ George. Just keep pushing me, fella.

 

[Limeoutsider]

was there any doubt?

 

[His Divine Shadow]

I shall accept your offer and aid you in the fight of the jelly bean revolters! Come Balrog! We have work to do.

"For we are the jelly beans. We fight for freedom. We fight for all jelly beans in slavery. We shall triumph over all who dare oppose our rightous cause. For we are the jelly beans."

 

[ShiningIce]

Just begun this ....................JELLY BEAN WAR it has...

 

[venray]

Quiet YOU !!!!!

 

[His Divine Shadow]

Jelly beans shall triumph!!! All hail Supreme General Lord Excelency King Emperor Duke Baron Commander Commodore Admiral Critterlord!!!

 

[venray]

 

[Prime]

This has the makings of a stephen king book...or maybe just a nice after school special..carry on. 😀

 

[kurchatovium]

Critterlord where do you you get your medication it sounds better than mine?😀

 

[venray]

Critterlord where do you you get your medication it sounds better than mine?😀

SHH....It's in the jellybeans..............

 

[critterlord]

WHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!

*Walks in, with jellybeans following him, carrying George tied and gagged.*

Our first battle, and we are victorious!

@ HisDivineShadow. My loyal right hand shadow, we shall bring others to our cause. Come one, come all. Join the Jelly Beings. Once we have taken over the world, all loyal followers will get land grants (I have dibs on Alaska. Imagine the snowcones.)

@ Venray. If you permit me, I will grant you the Office of Grand Jelly Being banner creater. You will have any state you wish, besides Alaska.

@ Prime. I have just sold the rights to our history of Rebellion to Mr. King. Expect the book after the royal takeover.

@ kurchatovium. My medication is a new experimental medication, created by my teddy bear. I cannot yet release the secret formula, but lets just say some of the ingredients are Snake Poison, Bailey's, TONS OF NYQUIL!!!, the blood of a virgin frog, grenadine, some green stuff we found under my bed, the powdered form of the Lost 5 Commandments, and salt.

*George mumbles something. Critterlord kicks him hard in the head.*

Oh, and by the way,

 

[kurchatovium]

Is your teddy bear sentient? Mine is although he can't talk yet. I think he will be able too shortly though. Maybe we could have a teddy bear forum where all sentient teddies could post.

 

[venray]

I'll take Georgia......😀