Old School Chivalry

[AphroditeRabbit]

I witnessed today a scene that broke my heart in the best of ways, and only in one of the few ways a heart should ever be broken.

I had my birthday party with my family today. My 2 aunts and uncles, along with cousins came to celebrate with me. As did my Dziadzio and Babcia. Well we all had alot of fun, and everyone had left except Dziadzio and Babcia to watch the football game on with my parents. Well of course the elderly cannot stay up as long (both are another year older along with me!) and had to leave. What follows next touched me very deepy.

My Dziadzio went to get my Babzias coat, and held it for her to put it on. He then helped her put on her coat. Next he grabbed all the packages they recieved for gifts that he could carry and took them out to the car. Not only that, but there was one little box left of apple pie. Rather than have her take it to the car (which she most definitely could have done), he said 'I'll come back and get it'. I nearly cried. That, my friends, is chivalry at it's best. He helped her put on her coat, made sure she was all bundled up and okay, took everything to the car, and even opened her door to let her in. That kind of chivalry, my friends, is a dying breed. Any guy to treat me this way would make me putty in his hands. Why does this not happen anymore? :sad:

 

[Celtic_Emperor]

Because what a woman was and what a woman is now is different. Back in the day women were meek, delicate, and refined and protected as if they were fine china.

Its because today's woman is independant and strong that certain old-fashion styles of chivalry are no longer present in society. Some women resent any kind of help from a man, and don't see it as necessary. They'd rather take care of themselves.

For those that don't mind being pampered by a man simply for being a woman, well, then its more an issue of the man than the woman. The stereotype of what a man's role is to a woman in any sort of a classy situation has changed. Eiether men don't care to pamper women needelessly or women don't want it.

Alot of women resent chivalry because it implies they're weak and somehow need it or need to be handled that way. I think that those that long for chivalry are romantics at heart and are trying to salvage an ettiquite that has gone out of style.

We live in the 20th century, or 21st depending on how you're counting. This isn't the 18th century or prior. Things have changed, attitudes have changed. Cultures have changed. PEOPLE have changed.

 

[AphroditeRabbit]

Very sad to me :sad: LONG LIVE DZIADZIO! He knows how it's done man

 

[Celtic_Emperor]

I agree that it's sad. But let me put it to you this way as a mind teaser-

If you want chivalry toward women, then how should women act toward men?

 

[SheDevil1]

They should spit on them whenever possible, and slap them whenever they walk too far ahead of the woman. And just to be safe, men should be kept on leashes, and said leash shall be tied upon a post when a woman needs to go into a place of business and doesn't want said male doing/saying anything foolish to embarass her.

 

[AphroditeRabbit]

Bah, I act how I am. I don't change myself for anyone, it goes against everything I stand for. If a man ever asked how I wanted to be treated, however, I would most certainly tell him.

 

[Celtic_Emperor]

Of course you would tell him if he asked. My point is, would you ask him how he wants to be treated?

 

[SheDevil1]

I'm so glad you ignored my post! Wouldn't wanna stump you.....

 

[AphroditeRabbit]

Any person who feels so strongly about something can voice it (especially something like how they want to be treated). I don't play any stupid guessing games. I think if someone doesn't like something, they tell you, if they do like it, they don't say anything or tell you they like it. And if they don't say a word and don't like it, they deserve their come uppance. Silly to play the "Ohhhh maybe they'll figure it out if I do THIS" games. BAH. People need to learn.....
Games are stupid...except for like....pictionary (and all those other cool games).

 

[Kalamos]

I like pictionary.

I'm awful at it... I start drawing the full scene, without even giving a measly hint of the intended word...

But I can draw with my mouse.

Try doing that with your cat...

That's something you should ponder deeply about.

 

[pleatherdyke]

They should spit on them whenever possible, and slap them whenever they walk too far ahead of the woman. And just to be safe, men should be kept on leashes, and said leash shall be tied upon a post when a woman needs to go into a place of business and doesn't want said male doing/saying anything foolish to embarass her.

mm, i would prefer if exactly thirty yards around me was a male-free zone.

i don't believe womyn were meek and delicate, rather that society forced us to act as though we were so that men could publicly display their "ownership" of us through acts of "chivalry." as womyn become less economically dependent on men, chilvalry becomes less and less prevelant as a cultural institution, and i'm glad to see it go. when womyn are still paid only three quarters of the male dollar, though, we're still a long way from seeing chivalry's final death.

if an individual man and womon have an arrangement wherein they engage in some form of "chivalry," that's fine. but if a man i don't know does something that reveals he regards me as "meek" and "delicate," i'll show him just how untrue that is.

 

[SheDevil1]

Ugh. Not worth it.

 

[AphroditeRabbit]

Si, as Kalamos said in the other thread, yo estoy MUY cansada. Bed time!

Also, my kitten Gwomp is the most handsome wonderful bebe EVAH! He'd opened doors for me too if he could I'm sure 😉

 

[Currahee1974]

Rabbit....

It still goes on, it truly does....but as for younger people,....when we do this, it is just labeled a ploy to get into her pants, not true..a few left out there that would do anything for their female friend...Iknow this because I am one...I still open doors, open the car door, do anything the female wants on a date....what a second.....is that why I am still single?????
Currahee

 

[SheDevil1]

To be honest, girls don't like to be treated the old-fashion way. Your parents might have raised you to open the door for a lady, but what if she rushes in front of you and barges in? Then you can't open the door for her. It might seem like you're babying a girl. A little chivalry is nice here and there, but when you push it too far, you come off as a guy who's old-fashioned. What does old-fashioned mean to girls nowadays? Somebody who's not fun. Now, SOME girls loooooove to be treated like a princess, and I know quite a few. Those are actually the girls you probably should stay away from, seeing as how they'll take advantage of your kindness and treat you like a dog. So, I'm not saying change your personality, but augment your style.

 

[Celtic_Emperor]

When I said women were meek, etc. I said that meaning they were built to be that way. Broken and reprogrammed. Its one of the sickest things since slavery.

But that has changed, and as others have said since my last post, and like I originally said, today's woman can take care of herself. She doesn't need a man to treat her like a child.

I can see how it would work for a couple or for a date, but to display complete chivalry in a time period that it does not fit into anymore, is a bit silly.

 

[SheDevil1]

Gee, thanks for repeating what I said! If I say "Vlad is a dork" will you rephrase it and repeat it? 😛

 

[Celtic_Emperor]

Well actually, I posted that because pleatherdyke seemed upset by it, and it was a misunderstanding.

 

[Kalamos]

Si, as Kalamos said in the other thread, yo estoy MUY cansada. Bed time!

Also, my kitten Gwomp is the most handsome wonderful bebe EVAH! He'd opened doors for me too if he could I'm sure 😉

Kitten Gwomp? If you mean Navel, he'd happily *smash* doors down for ya... 😉

 

[Drago691]

mm, i would prefer if exactly thirty yards around me was a male-free zone.

i don't believe womyn were meek and delicate, rather that society forced us to act as though we were so that men could publicly display their "ownership" of us through acts of "chivalry." as womyn become less economically dependent on men, chilvalry becomes less and less prevelant as a cultural institution, and i'm glad to see it go. when womyn are still paid only three quarters of the male dollar, though, we're still a long way from seeing chivalry's final death.

if an individual man and womon have an arrangement wherein they engage in some form of "chivalry," that's fine. but if a man i don't know does something that reveals he regards me as "meek" and "delicate," i'll show him just how untrue that is.

Spelling woman as "womyn" is stupid. Good day.

 

[naveltkltr1350]

Kitten Gwomp? If you mean Navel, he'd happily *smash* doors down for ya... 😉

Gwomps her second love..her kitten! lol! yes..i would smash down doors if needed too, Kalamos! man i laugh at most of your threads you post! have a great sense of humor. You really starting to bring the best outta members in this forum!

Krystle, I see you finally made that thread about this! I know you will get plenty of replies to this one.

 

[Kalamos]

Gwomps her second love..her kitten! lol! yes..i would smash down doors if needed too, Kalamos! man i laugh at most of your threads you post! have a great sense of humor. You really starting to bring the best outta members in this forum!

Krystle, I see you finally made that thread about this! I know you will get plenty of replies to this one.

How cute... a kitten. 🙂

I like cats. I get along fairly well. I leave them be, and they leave me alone.
Just the way things should be in the larger scheme of things. 😀


You laugh a bit too much at my posts. Am I funny? I mean... *how* am I funny? 😉

😀 😀 😀

 

[crazybob]

I don't see why females have problems with guys doing *small* gestures like opening doors or helping gput on coats. I agree with some of the things said here. If for some reason i can't help or am busy doing something else important, my girlfriend of 2 1/2 years in perfectly capable of putting on her own coat or opening up a door im my hands are full. BUT, as much as I can, I ALWAYS try to open doors for her, help her put her coast on, hold her hand to help her walk across an icy sidewalk, and anything else I can do to help. I think I am one of few people my age that continues to do this, which i agree is very sad.

 

[AphroditeRabbit]

-laughs- THANK YOU CRAZYBOB! Exactly the point I wanted to make but was too word incompetent to do so. I am very well aware women can do these things themselves. I don't think it's weakness or anything else. To me? It's someone showing they care enough about me to think ahead and make life easy on me and be incredibly polite, which shows they think of me. Oh MAN does chivalry get points over here....-laughs-

 

[AphroditeRabbit]

To be honest, girls don't like to be treated the old-fashion way. Your parents might have raised you to open the door for a lady, but what if she rushes in front of you and barges in? Then you can't open the door for her. It might seem like you're babying a girl. A little chivalry is nice here and there, but when you push it too far, you come off as a guy who's old-fashioned. What does old-fashioned mean to girls nowadays? Somebody who's not fun. Now, SOME girls loooooove to be treated like a princess, and I know quite a few. Those are actually the girls you probably should stay away from, seeing as how they'll take advantage of your kindness and treat you like a dog. So, I'm not saying change your personality, but augment your style.

Wait a minute here! I just said I LIKED it!! Are you trying to tell me I'm not a gir--.....*hangs head*