Online dating... is it a real relationship?

[meteor]

Looking at the commercial world buyers and suppliers communicate by,fax,email,letters,
phone, websites,very often for years and somtimes meet or not meet as the case my be.Trust and confidence prevails and deals are done. There fore if you write often enough you get a perspective of the other person and know what you like and don't like,so it must be posible to have a relationship, even developing into a mental or spiritual state of love,if you use messenger and vid cam you can have a idea about what your getting involved in.A meeting is the best situation but with global distance this is not easy on a regular basis.a internet dating agency will provide forms and a user profile and match people and when they meet it may or may not work,honesty, trust, truth, integrity have to be the yardstick.I would say internet dating can develop into a relationship, leading to a form of love each circumstance is different.try defining love, this thread is a good one thanks for starting it. nerrad is izzy going to kick your butt or did you ask about defacing her icon.

 

[juggernaut]

nerrad is izzy going to kick your butt or did you ask about defacing her icon.

You let me worry about Izzy.

 

[JackVanderson]

When people say they "love" someone they've never seen, met, or heard, I doubt it's real love. They are misconstruing lack of attention and connection with love and filling in the gaps with what they want, wish, or hope to be true. It's an illusion. Again, like a video game.

Remember reality is what one is percieving. So to those who are experiancing the illusion, that is their reality.

And that's just freakin' sad.

Not really. If they're taking it to the point where they truly think that they're part of a family that's a bit nuts, but it's possible to become close enough to someone to consider them a sibling. My cousin and I are like that. And yeah there are people online whom I do call my brother or sister, but I know full well that they're not. The key to anything online is to keep one's mind in check and not let the imagination run out of control.

And some people need to learn to walk out their front door.

That's pretty harsh. Having an online relationship with someone and being the kind of person that just sits at one's computer all day doing nothing are two completely different things. It's like anything else in this world. If it's done in moderation and not over done it's fine and healthy. I mean, if everyone in the world looked at partaking in online discussions as a futile effort for those who have no lives, all of us here would be considered lifeless losers. And I know for a fact that that's not the case.

 

[Ninjaboo]

It depends on the people in the "relationship." Are they both moving towards the same goal with one another?

I don't think there can be a real relationship until the people have met face to face. But I do believe that there can be friendship and caring over the internet.

I think the internet is great for people to learn about others before they judge on looks. I think it's a great way to quickly find out if you could possibly like someone without all of the face to face formalities and cautions.

In closing, I will ask if any one of you consider anyone else that you know online a friend? Would you be upset if he or she were hurt? Would you be happy if he or she got married? If so then you have a kind of relationship online. It's not romantic but it's a relationship... Therefore, on that basis, I must say that romantic relationships online are possible but are worthless unless acted upon in person because of the huge amount of effort it takes compared to (online) friendship (which in many cases does not have to or have the chance to be validated in person).

Just my thoughts. *smiles sweetly*

 

[acidlady851]

I am simply amazed that you people can dress yourselves; let alone pretend to know anything about relationships.

 

[melanie2]

this is the way i look at it..if you believe it's real then it's real for you..if you don't believe it's real then there you go..don't sit in judgement on those who do have online relationships..

 

[Duke Diablo]

I am simply amazed that you people can dress yourselves; let alone pretend to know anything about relationships.

Hey! Who said I can dress myself?!

 

[the_jimmy_james]

I am simply amazed that you people can dress yourselves; let alone pretend to know anything about relationships.

Why is this troll still a member?

 

[Featherdemon]

I think an online relationship is a 'relationship' in so much that you are connecting with someone and sharing something, whatever that maybe. However, in regards to dating I would have to say no. Romance and a sense of connection can only be real if its face to face, otherwise I fear that we are simply falling for what we want to see. That is not to say they are wrong, just that people should be aware as much as possible to save heart break and unnecessary hurt. I think online friendship has similar veins too but that is for another thread.... 😉

 

[Featherdemon]

And some people need to learn to walk out their front door.

A tad harsh, perhaps? 🙂

 

[locker669]

I went to mini.com and built a Mini Cooper. I made it with all the options I want and saved it. Now I can log on and view it when ever I want. The only thing I can't do is drive it. So now, can I say I own a mini Cooper because I have one online?

 

[Sorcerer Lance]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0WpoJ6Zd0TM

'nuff said

 

[kopfhorer1]

Great video, Sorcerer.

Online relationships are just one of many kinds. I know better than to think a loving relationship can exist without meeting in real life. As I said before, online dating is, among other things, a facilitating tool for meeting future partners, just as matchmakers and personal ads were in previous generations.

 

[chicag0]

If you use the internet to get to know people you may be interested in meeting in person and starting a relationship that way, that's one thing. I get it. I understand that whole deal. It's the people who prefer to have relationships completely online through IMing and cybering, that will never meet (and don't mind one bit) that I'm talking about.

 

[kopfhorer1]

In that case, I can see having long-distance friends that way, especially if the friendship isn't that deep and is based around things like hobbies and interests. Cyber-only romances, which are based upon virtual meetings with someone you may never meet IRL, I don't grok that at all.

 

[AdamN]

I don't see how anyone can say that they're "dating" unless they meet and engage in a little social activity. And I'm talking more than just a single time.

 

[QueenBeeBeeMari]

Annie,I see what you're getting at and if they just lived their life online with only IMs I don't see it lasting forever but ''a real relationship''?What constitutes a real relationship?I don't know because who wrote the rules on what makes a real relationship?Who said you have to have this,this and this for your relationship to be real?I don't think there is anything that makes a relationship ''real'' as you say other then someone's opinion

 

[PurpleStyle]

To put it rather bluntly;

A real relationship is actually touching somebody. Cybertickling them with your "tail" in furry fantasy land... is not a real relationship.

 

[CellarDweller]

I can't conceive of having a "romantic" relationship with someone and never see them.

I did have two "long distance" relationships via the 'net. I'm from NJ, one guy was from Oklahoma, one from New Zealand.

In both instances we met on websites, and got to know each other through the computer, but we made plans to meet face to face, and make our relationships physical as well.

I have no regrets about either of them. I'm still very close to the guy from New Zealand, and we chat about 3 or 4 times a week.

In the end, the distance was what killed both relationships, as we were not able to be physically close, and therefore build our relationships further.

Annie, I've heard of people who do what you say, and never meet, I can't imagine doing that.

I want to sleep in the same bed as the person I love....not look at a face on a screen, and settle for a voice out of the speakers.

 

[QueenBeeBeeMari]

To put it rather bluntly;

A real relationship is actually touching somebody. Cybertickling them with your "tail" in furry fantasy land... is not a real relationship.

but nobody ever said it HAD to have that.There is no ''rule book'' on dating.There is no rules to this game.It's simply whatever the two or for some 3-4 people in the relationship decide they want it to be.

 

[PurpleStyle]

but nobody ever said it HAD to have that.There is no ''rule book'' on dating.There is no rules to this game.It's simply whatever the two or for some 3-4 people in the relationship decide they want it to be.

Somebody did say it. I'm saying it now. For it to be a real relationship, there has to be interaction in the real world.

Okay, here's an even more oversimplified comparison. There's no "rule book" on growing hair. But you either grow hair, or you don't. Ya dig?

 

[QueenBeeBeeMari]

Somebody did say it. I'm saying it now. For it to be a real relationship, there has to be interaction in the real world.

Okay, here's an even more oversimplified comparison. There's no "rule book" on growing hair. But you either grow hair, or you don't. Ya dig?

Oh,come on Purple.No,you don't count and that comparison doesn't work lol.There is no rules on what makes a relationship real or not real.

 

[Violetta]

Marie, you of all people should know damn well why online relationships cannot be real. How many times has the online world taken advantage of you?

 

[QueenBeeBeeMari]

Marie, you of all people should know damn well why online relationships cannot be real. How many times has the online world taken advantage of you?

Yes,I know Bella I was hurt terribly and it woke my butt up a little.Let me know I have to be extremely careful.However,because I was hurt so much it also taught me that I DID fall in love and everything I felt was real.So,the relationship was real.That,however,does not mean it can work out,you have to be more careful now then ever who you fall for.
I was just saying that an online relationship can be real but if it only stays online it probably will fail at one point or another.
I also have never heard from anybody who is an authority on relationships who says what makes one real because there is no such person and no such rules.There are so many different type of relationships.Some may not approve but they do exist and they are real.I honestly do not know how else to put it or what else to even say on this to get the point across lol.

 

[CrazyLikeAFox]

Oddly enough, I find myself using the same argument people throw at me when debating the existence of God. You can't know it for sure if you haven't experienced it yourself.