PM’s – a question for everyone

[gabrielle]

Some PM’s I received lately, got me thinking about this and made me curious about other peoples opinions… (I’m not looking for advice here, just to avoid misunderstandings 😉 🙂 )

What is a reason for you to PM someone you don’t know yet?
And –
What is it in a PM you receive from a “stranger”, that makes you answer to it or rather not?
Maybe the answers to these questions seem quite obvious, still I believe there are different point of views and I would love to hear them.

I’m very interested in answers to both questions from both genders.

gabrielle

 

[isabeau]

well the reason one gets a pm from someone they don't know is to get to know that person better, i'm thinking..

and the pm's that i answer from strangers depends on what the question is..and how they spell..if someone pm's me and just asks..in this abbreviation... r u ticklish? i delete it..i mean gesh...like duh..of course i'm ticklish...if a pm intrigues me, and it's from a total stranger, i will answer out of politeness and interest..

 

[Mz Chaos]

well the reason one gets a pm from someone they don't know is to get to know that person better, i'm thinking..
and it's from a total stranger, i will answer out of politeness and interest..

Um... yep!

Ya don't get to know folks if'n you don't reach out and touch someone... er... pardon the pun.
I've met some really great folks on here that I wouldn't have if I hadn't replied to their PM's... and I answer just in case I'd be missing out on meeting yet another great folk if'n I didn't.

 

[TicklishLurker]

Unless someone says something that I don't want to answer where everyone else can read, I don't usually PM first.

I rarely reply to PMs from strangers either. Most are morons who use "R" and "U" instead of "are" and "you" - I HATE THAT! Others are people I've never heard of before asking for a meeting. Especially from other states. Honey, if I don't have the money to go meet MasterTank1 - whom I REALLY want to meet more then anyone here, but I'm afraid due to my situation it would have to be him coming out to California rather then me going to him - then why would I have the money to go meet some guy I never heard of in New York?

You basically have to be someone asking me something other then where I'm ticklish or for a meeting if I'm to reply to you. You also can't use moronic internet shorthand.

I'll only answer "where are you ticklish/what do you look like" PMs if it's an artist or writer who wants to use me as a basic model for a toon or story.

 

[Goodieluver]

I tend to rather wait to recieve the pm rather than send one.

I see no point in stalking the membre pics area or any area, see an attractive lass and need to pm to tell them that she is good lookin. The only time I PM someone is to pay a private compliment to something said\done or to rant on people i dislike(not to them, but to people who share my sentiments)

I tend to reply to every pm to me though

 

[Pokey]

I don't pm very often withouth knowing someone a little, however, if I see something someone does worth complimenting I'll try and say so. Unfortuantely, my brain and my mouth don't always work together so I don't say exactly what I mean but I don't think it is ever derogatory. If I think I can help someone with something I'll try to get an answer, but again, if I don't word it just right, it sometimes doesn't help. But, when I do I usually have a reason I think worth making the attempt. I almost always, if it is a lady, tell them that I am very happily married and usually considerable older, hoping that I can relax that tension of wondering if I'm "hitting" on someone. I have met some very wonderful folks on here just saying hi, and probably made a few think, who the devil is that, lol. To that person I am sorry. To the ones that have answered thank you and I enjoy your friendship still.

Jim

 

[fttickler]

Hmmm.. Ok.. my point of view...

I agree with alot here. Now being a male ler and someone that has been around TMF for quite awhile I am the one usually doing the PM'ing especially with either someone I just met in the chat room or a newbie ( at least to me. ) As Mz Chaos said, I dont want to miss out on making a new friend. I am respectful when I pm someone and do go for that r u ticklish crap ( I agree with Jamie there ) And being a sort of newbie myself to California ( moved from NY 2 yrs ago ) I would love to make some friends out here..both tickling and other wise. Alot of it depends on the nick they used and their likes and dislikes in their profile. Though I do chat with different people in the chat room, I try to stay with people at least 25 yrs of age or older. Also like ot sometimes chat with folks out of TMF. So I do ask if they use any other chat programs.
Looking forward to those new friends.


Adam aka fttickler

 

[kered]

My first pm was from isabeau when she welcomed me to the TMF. We 'talk' alot using the pm. I got to know Mz Chaos when I pm'd her about a problem I was having with my computer, and that's when she discovered how computer stupid I am but took me as a friend anyway. TicklishLurker let me critique a few of her stories( quite good, by the way) and I should keep in better contact with her. I need to remedy that. I think she likes the way I spell out words with my rusty high school training in typing. Since these lovley ladies were kind to me I try to help newbies when I can. I probably sent you a pm when you first logged in as a member. This way I have 'met' some very wonderful people from aun existe amor to the great Venray. And some have contacted me this way. I talk to many men and women around the world about more than just our shared interest in tickling. I guess it's up to you to weed out the people interested to meet you and the people just interested in you as a tickletoy.

 

[Strider]

I generally only PM people when I have a specific question or comment about something they said on the board.

I'll usually respond to anyone at least once, nine times out of ten, when someone PMs me, it's over a specific thing I said, and once I answer they're query, there's no further contact.

 

[isabeau]

yea sometimes i take the iniative and pm someone first..both males and females..i love receiving pms from females..

what i don't like however is when i take the time to pm someone..say i'm sorry..wish them good luck and all..and they don't respond..

 

[Knox The Hatter]

I usually don't answer PMs from strangers. The only way I would answer is if I found your pm to be intelligent, and interesting, or funny, thus offering a chance for some kind of steady correspondence. PMs written entirely in upper case get deleted, regardless of your matriculation at Yale, or your inclusion of membership in Second City in your Curriculum Vitae. Oh, and Jami's rules apply here for punctuation as well...when you use such shortcuts, on the percentages, it usually turns out that you have very little to offer, so...

When I PM someone who's a regular on here, and it's someone I usually don't speak to, it's usually to offer praise for something. Praise, to me, comes from the heart.

 

[TicklishLurker]

what i don't like however is when i take the time to pm someone..say i'm sorry..wish them good luck and all..and they don't respond..

Sometimes a person just feels too lazy to reply. Or maybe too depressed after the tone of the conversation. 😛

 

[sabaki]

Lots of reasons to PM someone I don't know yet: I read something interesting that they wrote, I had a fun time chatting with them in the chat room, I just want to randomly compliment them, I'm responding to a personal ad for someone who lives nearby, I want to ask a question to somebody specific (including possibly asking them if they are ticklish, if it's not mentioned in their profile), someone's screenname/profile caught my eye and I think they're cool...

In all cases I put thought and effort into the PM. I am thinking: "You satisfy 1 of my n criteria for being someone cool, and I'd like to get to know you better." Often, even though I PM somebody in response to something specific, I'm hoping it leads to an extended conversation, if they're interesting.

To the best of my memory, I've never received a PM from a stranger. If I did, I would be sure to answer them, regardless of their grammar or spelling or how interesting they are. I would consider it rude not to reply to someone if they've taken the time to PM me. Golden rule -- do to others as you would have them do to you. I want people to reply to me always (currently they're about 1 in 10) so I should reply, always.

Of course, you can match efforts with them. If they've clearly only put 5 seconds of thought into their PM, just put 5 seconds of thought into your reply.

 

[isabeau]

Sometimes a person just feels too lazy to reply. Or maybe too depressed after the tone of the conversation. 😛

not you you goof lolol.. 😀

and kered it was a pleasure getting to know you..

 

[maniactickler]

Ill usually only PM a woman if she lives nearby.

 

[Mz Chaos]

Ill usually only PM a woman if she lives nearby.

Liar... I was still in Washinton State when you first PM'd me. Then you farted... and the wind shifted... and I've never recovered...

Interestingly enough... 5 of the folks who answered you here I got to know through PM's and most I still PM on a regular basis (semi-regular anyway on my part)... like Pokey, Kered, Fttickler... occasionally Isabeau... All are great folks and I've never regretted answering them. Although I have their phone numbers (Mel... I need yours again) PMing is our usual way of communicating.
Heck... Flock and I talk mainly through PM's as do MasterTank and I as well as TKLMAN and quite a few others...

Like I said... there's quite a few good folk on here...
Give folks a chance... you can always weed out later if need be...

 

[MrPartickler]

Liar... I was still in Washinton State when you first PM'd me. Then you farted... and the wind shifted... and I've never recovered...

LMAO. Quote of the day, folks.

I send a random PM every now and then, but it's pretty rare--I could probably count on one hand the number of times over any given year. And when I do, it's usually a random remark or question. Occasionally it's been a compliment or a comment on their post.

I do PM with one or two friends fairly regularly now. As for the random ones, I consider them mostly "fire and forget." Although a response is often nice, I never really expect one unless some form of communication or connection has already been established. It's no big deal if there's none. When I receive a random PM (which is also pretty rare) I usually try to respond if one is warranted. If it's not, again, I feel like it's no big deal.

 

[storyteller]

To date, I've responded to all initial PMs I've received, but I have not responded to all subsequent PMs because I had nothing further to say at the time, I didn't know whether the person wanted further communication, or I was uncomfortable. The latter has been my comfort zone and not that the sender offended me. I've sent PMs to people to reply or comment on something they've said in a post that, to me, was private and not meant for public consumption. Like sabaki, I've sent a few PMs because someone's pseudonym or post and/or profile caught my attention and I was curious about them. Some have responded, some haven't. Much like saying "hello" to someone, it's their choice whether or not to respond.

I'm a fan of the written word as reader, writer, editor, and speaker. Because English is my native language that tends to be the language that gets my attention. As a fan and user of the printed word, I know that upper and lower case and grammar exist to help the reader understand what the writer is trying to communicate. Jargon, whether technical or affected by the Internet, messages sent over mobile phones, or urban slang, is inappropriate outside it's "field." Internet "speak," like urban slang, is often used by people trying to appear hip, cool, cute, whatever. I consider it purposeful ignorance, and I don't find that hip, cool, or cute. Jargon and abbreviations are only useful when both parties understand them. Thus, while I haven't yet received such PMs, should I, I will handle them in the same ways I handle an author's overuse of technical jargon and unexplained abbreviations. That is, I'll (1) ask what the terms and abbreviations mean; (2) write without such usage or only using abbreviations that I explain or know the reader understands, thus "teaching by example"; or (3) tell the person to lay off such usage and why. Some communication short cuts are understandable. Some are like fast food: time and need make them appropriate on occasion but not all the time.

 

[maniactickler]

Liar... I was still in Washinton State when you first PM'd me. Then you farted... and the wind shifted... and I've never recovered...

Interestingly enough... 5 of the folks who answered you here I got to know through PM's and most I still PM on a regular basis (semi-regular anyway on my part)... like Pokey, Kered, Fttickler... occasionally Isabeau... All are great folks and I've never regretted answering them. Although I have their phone numbers (Mel... I need yours again) PMing is our usual way of communicating.
Heck... Flock and I talk mainly through PM's as do MasterTank and I as well as TKLMAN and quite a few others...

Like I said... there's quite a few good folk on here...
Give folks a chance... you can always weed out later if need be...

Notice i said "usually". i must have spotted something extra in you if i PMed you living wayyyyyyyyy over there in washington. and your right on with my flatulence.

 

[lk70]

Usually I'll PM to compliment someone on a post or tell them I agree with them (like they care 🙂 ). I answer most PMs sent to me, and many of those people have turned into actual real life friends that I meet for dinner and everything.

I absolutely LOVE meeting people from here, assuming we've got something (else) in common. So far everyone I've met IRL has been great.

 

[OnnaOtaku]

I only reply to PM's from people who are pretty active in the forum. Most my PM's come from people with under 10 posts. It's kind of annoying. I might be thought of as dumb for reacting this way, but it's kind of a bother when people who are on here just to find people to "play" with or what not are PMing me everyday that aren't active in the forum.

Bleh. I used to respond when I first signed up here, but I realized that it has just become a bother and that there is always going to be someone PMing me and in the long run, I won't be able to keep up.

 

[isabeau]

I only reply to PM's from people who are pretty active in the forum. Most my PM's come from people with under 10 posts. It's kind of annoying. I might be thought of as dumb for reacting this way, but it's kind of a bother when people who are on here just to find people to "play" with or what not are PMing me everyday that aren't active in the forum.

Bleh. I used to respond when I first signed up here, but I realized that it has just become a bother and that there is always going to be someone PMing me and in the long run, I won't be able to keep up.

love that is because you are so damn gorgeous...that is why people keep pming you...

 

[OnnaOtaku]

love that is because you are so damn gorgeous...that is why people keep pming you...

You're making me blush! Te-He!

 

[maniactickler]

Usually I'll PM to compliment someone on a post or tell them I agree with them (like they care 🙂 ). I answer most PMs sent to me, and many of those people have turned into actual real life friends that I meet for dinner and everything.

I absolutely LOVE meeting people from here, assuming we've got something (else) in common. So far everyone I've met IRL has been great.

Well you havent met me yet!

 

[slacker2114]

I've met a few nice people thru PM's, but lately I've kinda given up on them. No one PM's me hardly ever anymore (must be my charming personality 🙄 ) and pretty much all I have to say I just post on the relevant thread.

But it really is a useful tool for expanding the friendships to be made and kept in the community. Sure, you're gonna get the weirdos who type like their keyboard is missing half the letters or the ones who just jump to wanting a meeting just because it's a "new girl". But in all honesty, it's up to you to decide if you want to answer or not. Who knows, you could end up being another Mimi/Lazarus or kwil/lite type story.