Question About Relationships

[evilwomanhehe]

Hello Everyone:

I have been into tickling for as long as I can remember. In the past, I have incorporated tickling with the "vanilla" guys I have gone out with. I have found that not too many of the relationships I have had with them like to have tickling incorporated at all. Through the years, I have questioned myself into thinking that if i'm being too stingey/selfish trying to find that one person who has the same fetish as I have---and disregarding the others who are "vanilla" who come along.

Who here has thought about this---and who is going through the same thing?

😱

Thanks!
Victoria

 

[Aachen1983]

I kinda understand. A lot of people will be turned off by it, but hang in there! Not all of us gentlemen are "vanilla" as you put it.

 

[ticklishbbw]

Hello Everyone:
Through the years, I have questioned myself into thinking that if i'm being too stingey/selfish trying to find that one person who has the same fetish as I have---and disregarding the others who are "vanilla" who come along.

Who here has thought about this---and who is going through the same thing?

😱

Thanks!
Victoria

Personally, I feel if tickling is very important to you--If it means a lot to have it in your life, then you probably need to find someone who is either into it, or at least open to exploring it. It's been my experience that if you "settle" for someone, and hide or discard other things or people in your life, you tend to resent that person later on. Should you only date people who are openly into tickling, no, you'd be missing out on a lot of great people. However, you probably need to find someone who is open minded and not put-off by it.

Just my 2 cents.

tbbw

 

[evilwomanhehe]

Thanks for your responses, BBW and AAchen.

I don't want to sound like i'm putting anyone off totally. I just haven't had the "right" relationship come about yet...and wondered if my thinking about this subject is getting in the way.

Victoria

 

[Sultrybrunette]

Coming from my perspective, its difficult period! Whether your looking for someone that is into it or not finding the "right" person is almost hopeless. Most guys are either in relationships or just getting out of relationships so they dont want to get involved. Or, they just want to have "fun" no string attached. It sounds like you are keeping an open mind but I know its frustrating. Hang in there.

 

[Aachen1983]

Coming from my perspective, its difficult period! Whether your looking for someone that is into it or not finding the "right" person is almost hopeless. Most guys are either in relationships or just getting out of relationships so they dont want to get involved. Or, they just want to have "fun" no string attached. It sounds like you are keeping an open mind but I know its frustrating. Hang in there.

Come on now... I'm just getting out of a bad relationship (with a girl named Vicotria no less....) and I'm not looking for just "fun" (sex for people with no clue). Not all of us are bad now! I wouldn't mind getting involved with someone again. Most guys are just jerks though....

 

[isabeau]

Come on now... I'm just getting out of a bad relationship (with a girl named Vicotria no less....) and I'm not looking for just "fun" (sex for people with no clue). Not all of us are bad now! I wouldn't mind getting involved with someone again. Most guys are just jerks though....

you are anything but a jerk. as far as this thread is concerned, good luck evilwoman i started a thread sort of about that in general discussion. married to a person who isnt really into it.

isabeau

 

[evilwomanhehe]

Thanks for your response, Sult. I agree with you wholeheartedly.

Isabeau--I hope everything is going well with you. Thanks for your response.


Aachen--Sultry wasn't labeling "all" of you guys as being bad. Some of them are---and it seems as though she has been through the same things I have gone through. A once-burned-twice-shy kind of thing.

Victoria

 

[mtlhd]

totally understand you evilwoman.... i will not settle for someone I can not share this with. There will always be that empty void I will better bitter about if I settle for someone who hates it.

 

[mtlhd]

"be bitter about" rather.

 

[mark 19]

Personally I don’t need tickling to be part of a relationship (although obviously it would be my preference) however I don’t like people who have closed minds or aren’t willing to try things the once so I suppose at the same time any girl I was going out with would haft to be prepared to try it at least in principle. But that’s just me, Hang in there Victoria as you point out not all of us are jerks (just most of us 😉 )

 

[Sultrybrunette]

Come on now... I'm just getting out of a bad relationship (with a girl named Vicotria no less....) and I'm not looking for just "fun" (sex for people with no clue). Not all of us are bad now! I wouldn't mind getting involved with someone again. Most guys are just jerks though....

Evil is right. Once burned. I am sure your a really nice guy and there are alot of guys to joke around with, have some good conversations with, etc. But when it comes down to the nitty gritty of a relationship most guys that I have come across are just like I stated. To each their own I guess and if the guys are like that it doesnt mean they are bad. It means that its not what I am looking for. All I am saying is what I am looking for I am unable to find. And obviously I am not the only one.

 

[Aachen1983]

You are right sultry. Once burned.... I have met some women lately but I have trouble opening up. My ex was my first love and she hurt me so It is hard.

 

[lk70]

well, evilwoman, I can tell you that I struggled in a relationship for awhile, a relationship where he wasn't into tickling and in fact, thought it was absurd. I finally decided to just give it up. The relationship is over- naturally there were other issues- I'm not sure if tickling would have been enough to make me give up the whole thing (because we're talking a marriage here) but it seemed to be an example of a whole lot of other things that just weren't right.

As for finding another partner in the future- one to commit to forever and go through life with...I have to say, it doesn't feel likely to me. I'll never say never and I'll gladly spend time with and get to know other men..who knows? But I'm not looking for it, not now.

Feel free to PM if you like.

Lynn

 

[Sultrybrunette]

You are right sultry. Once burned.... I have met some women lately but I have trouble opening up. My ex was my first love and she hurt me so It is hard.

I am sorry to hear that. In a perfect world everyone would be happy and no one would go through hurt. But its not. It will take time. In my instance its been five years so I have had that time. I also knows that it happens both ways. You move on but you dont take it out on the next person that comes along.

 

[Avenger314]

hmmm..... If they dislike tickling, it probably isn't worth it. I'd say they don't have to be 'into' it, though. As long as they're neutral or better, go for it. They just might have a fetish that does nothing for you--in which case, each of you could indulge the other.

Good luck and good hunting.

Jim

 

[Wildtime]

I spent three years in a relationship with someone who hated to be tickled. During that time I had to act like I was okay with it, denying the fact that tickling was a part of my personality 😡. It's like denying the existance of an arm or a leg. I finally had enough of that relationship and left (she had other issues as well).

Now, I found someone who loves tickling as much as I do . I found this out by instigating a tickle-fight, and boy did she fight back. The kicker is we both prefer being 'lers .

 

[Sultrybrunette]

After my failed marriage, I learned that I need to open up about my needs and wants to potential significant others in the future, and not be ashamed of what makes me tick. That openness thing is gonna be a little hard to put into practice, though. Right now, I'm having difficulties with trust and fear of being hurt.

I used to think I wouldn't be happy with someone who didn't share the interest, because I didn't want them to cater to my interest to "placate" me. I realize that was a silly way to think, and a lack of understanding about what love is and should be. Love involves compromise, but one should never compromise their integrity as a person. If someone seriously enjoys tickling, their partner should know in advance.

I agree with you on the communication issue. It is sooo important. Unfortunately Flat, the inability to trust completely and fear of being hurt never goes away. It lessens with time but it is always there in the background. Its difficult to work through that and take the risk again but you will get to a point where the loneliness is worse and then your willing to take that step again. I guess thats why, after being hurt numerous times I still keep trying and looking. Your young and have so much time ahead of you to heal and start again. The one good thing is that its a huge learning process and each time you learn a little bit more of yourself and what you are looking for. I do understand very much what your going through.

 

[evilwomanhehe]

Thanks to everyone who responded so far...and for understanding.

Victoria

 

[Deuce]

Evil this is my 2 cents worth so take it or leave it but, I feel you have to be honest to yourself first and foremost, I think went your in a relationship with someone that doesn't share your interest you have to ask yourself with some give and take will my partner be able to make me happy and fulfill my needs or will one person be doing most of the give. I know in my life it's hard as hell to just find that special someone you want to spend the rest of your life with, and if you truly think you found that special someone but isn't into the same things as you will you be happy or will your tickling or lack of be the wedge that drives you apart.Now this may sound selfish but being a volunteer fireman for 13 years I was always taught in schools put your hand out with your palm facing you and as you ask this question bend your finger and that ask who is number 1 and the finger always points back too you. But this is a hard thing to help with cause can someone make you happy without this fetish or is your love for this to much to ever over come this. I hope that one day you will find Mr. Right and you can have your cake and eat it too

 

[Aachen1983]

Victoria (feels weird saying) just hang in there. You shall get the right one and the one who likes tickling too. On a lighter side, I have a date tonight. Maybe I will take yours and sultrys advice and not try to act like a shut in and open up (Not telling everything but at least acting like I want to be there).

 

[isabeau]

Victoria (feels weird saying) just hang in there. You shall get the right one and the one who likes tickling too. On a lighter side, I have a date tonight. Maybe I will take yours and sultrys advice and not try to act like a shut in and open up (Not telling everything but at least acting like I want to be there).

glad to hear that Aachen hope things work out for you. and be yourself. she will like you, heck i do lol

isabeau

 

[Aachen1983]

Thanks Isabeau! I wish you weren't amrried *wink, wink, nudge, nudge* J/K you are awesome though.

 

[crydun]

Hello Everyone:

I have been into tickling for as long as I can remember. In the past, I have incorporated tickling with the "vanilla" guys I have gone out with. I have found that not too many of the relationships I have had with them like to have tickling incorporated at all. Through the years, I have questioned myself into thinking that if i'm being too stingey/selfish trying to find that one person who has the same fetish as I have---and disregarding the others who are "vanilla" who come along.

Who here has thought about this---and who is going through the same thing?

😱

Thanks!
Victoria

I'm going through the EXACT same thing. I've pretty much decided that I won't even date someone that's not a ticklephile. Just for the simple fact that it is soo much a part of who I am. Why set myself up for problems later?

 

[Sultrybrunette]

Victoria (feels weird saying) just hang in there. You shall get the right one and the one who likes tickling too. On a lighter side, I have a date tonight. Maybe I will take yours and sultrys advice and not try to act like a shut in and open up (Not telling everything but at least acting like I want to be there).

Good for you! Relax and enjoy it.