Question about safeword

[Penguingirl]

Hiii! 🙂

I always wanted to get tickled for a longer period of time. Not just a minute or two like I have before. Of course I would be tyed up also... 😉

Its just that I really worry and want a safeword, but still I fantisise about the tickler not stopping when I use it. Im a little embarased about the reasons but it is a fantasy of mine and it is just so annoying! ><

Do you find that you dont need a safeword if you really trust your tickler? I think that is my only hope, becuase I want to be forced to begg and rly be hummiliated and not have such a easy way to escape all of it.

Thanks for any replies

 

[Bugman]

Do you find that you dont need a safeword if you really trust your tickler?

Thats the key.A lot of people play without safewords.If it's someone i've never tickled before i do want them to have one just in case.

I have a friend here i have played with several times and we don't need one because i've learned to *read* her reactions and i know when she needs a break or really wants me to stop for some reason.🙂

 

[Penguingirl]

Thats the key.A lot of people play without safewords.If it's someone i've never tickled before i do want them to have one just in case.

I have a friend here i have played with several times and we don't need one because i've learned to *read* her reactions and i know when she needs a break or really wants me to stop for some reason.🙂

That is super for you! 😀 And thank you for replying so fast! 😀 😀 😀

But you are the tickler? Do you know if your friend worried alott about not having a safe word? Because that is my problem. 🙁 I just hope the worry goes away if I meet someone I feel is trust worthy

 

[Aragon]

You should really have a safeword till you and yor tickler know what the other are able to do.

Like take Tamia, since she's an Oklahoma State fan, I would have her safe word phrase as Go Sooners, as she despises them. She wouldn't normally say it and I would know when she needs me to stop if I had her in front of me tickling her.

 

[rhiannon]

Personally, I would NEVER do it without a safeword, even if I know and trust the tickler well. Because you never know if something unpredictable will happen, a cramp or something like that.

Plus, I think not having a safeword actually stops the tickler from being able to just go for it, because he has to constantly look out for your reactions.

What works for me is betting that I can go a certain time without actually using the safeword. If I have something good to win, I won't use it even if I really want to because I think I can't stand no more, and I know it will stop sooner or later without me having to decide when.

 

[Adam]

Personally, I would NEVER do it without a safeword, even if I know and trust the tickler well. Because you never know if something unpredictable will happen, a cramp or something like that.

I agree completely. There are so many situations that could potentially arise that would require a tickler to have to stop immediately. I always tell any potential 'lee to just pick a safeword, even if they think they won't need it, just in case. It never hurts just to have it available.

 

[Penguingirl]

You should really have a safeword till you and yor tickler know what the other are able to do.

Like take Tamia, since she's an Oklahoma State fan, I would have her safe word phrase as Go Sooners, as she despises them. She wouldn't normally say it and I would know when she needs me to stop if I had her in front of me tickling her.

That is pretty smart. I understand what u mean and maybe that is a good way to start. 🙂

 

[Penguingirl]

Personally, I would NEVER do it without a safeword, even if I know and trust the tickler well. Because you never know if something unpredictable will happen, a cramp or something like that.

Plus, I think not having a safeword actually stops the tickler from being able to just go for it, because he has to constantly look out for your reactions.

What works for me is betting that I can go a certain time without actually using the safeword. If I have something good to win, I won't use it even if I really want to because I think I can't stand no more, and I know it will stop sooner or later without me having to decide when.

I understand what you mean with the cramp and probably other stuff like that. But its when I really cant stand it anymore that I want my tickler to still keep going. Its hard to explain.

Maybe if I used a safeword that was only for emergencies like cramps? I just feel like I would be tempted to use it just because of the tickling and I wouldnt want that... =(

 

[rhiannon]

That's why I say use a bet. Take a time that you would never be able to stand without a break, like 30 minutes or so, if you don't have the bet. And then just don't use the safeword for that period of time - or you lose the bet. Works fine for me!

 

[Redmage]

If I'm tickling someone that I have little experience with, I want that person to have a safeword just in case I miss a signal. Also, what you want sounds like something near the limits of your tolerance. In a situation like that a safeword is even more important.

 

[milagros317]

My view is this: Trust is developed over time, after several sessions. Have a safeword at the first session with somebody. When you get to trust them, then you can play without one. 😀

 

[jj82277]

I understand what you mean with the cramp and probably other stuff like that. But its when I really cant stand it anymore that I want my tickler to still keep going. Its hard to explain.

Maybe if I used a safeword that was only for emergencies like cramps? I just feel like I would be tempted to use it just because of the tickling and I wouldnt want that... =(

I completely understand the desire to be tckled beyond your limits. in a way its at the very core of what our little interest is about. the complete loss of control in a controlled environment.

you also bring up another very important topic that is the emergency safeword... the safeword for occurances other than ticklish exhaustion like a cramp for instance (and incidently, this is the subject of a story i am thinking about).

my suggestion would be that if you have a cramp then you just say "CRAMP!" it seems simple enough... that's not in the normal tickle dialogue of "oh no please not there, please not there, you're not a very nice man" etc. etc. etc. if you tell your ler that you have a cramp or that there is another emergency then he should stop... shouting out cramp or rope burn should be just as easy as go sooners or hail to the chief etc. etc. etc.

the key for you is finding a ler with the unique blend of sadism and care for your well being so that you can fully endulge in your fantasy of being tickled completely beyond all comprehension... and the fantasy of just going so far past a play safeword to fully emphasize helplessness is very alluring..

and if you have a cramp or emergency word to negate the tempation to use it just for tickling there should definately be a punishment stage including the most devious tickles (like most feared tool or spot) for set periods of time to make the consequences of such a transgression clean family fun for everyone. 🙂

 

[Bugman]

That is super for you! 😀 And thank you for replying so fast! 😀 😀 😀

But you are the tickler? Do you know if your friend worried a lot about not having a safe word? Because that is my problem. 🙁 I just hope the worry goes away if I meet someone I feel is trust worthy

Yes,i'm the ler when we play.We had gotten to know each other pretty well before our first session.When we met in person the first time she said she didn't need a safe word.

I was a bit uneasy with that so i took it easy at first,giving frequent breaks and asking how she was doing.As things progressed i felt like i knew how much she could take and when i really needed to stop.

I would not,and have not played with anyone else i have not tickled before without a safe word.It just happened to work out that time.🙂

I wish you good luck but do be careful,especially if bondage is involved.

 

[bondagebabe]

The truth is safwords are mainly used with real strict bondage and pain. In most cases tickling wont cause any long term injuries so even if you a pressed past your limit you wont get hurt. (just don't play near a glass coffee table lol) If you really want to enjoy it go without the safeword, you wont be in pain, the worst that will happen is you will be really pissed off, tired and having trouble catching ur breath.. Another fun thing to do is have a word, but you have some punishment if you use it. Maybe you have to eat your lover out several times a day for a week. Maybe you have to cook dinner for your lover all week. If you into pain during bondage you could do that to. a punishment for using the word will make you go a lot longer, but ti is still there if u really need it. I dont liek to say the word simply beciase i know my parter is really enjoying and using the work will be a turnoff for them.

 

[nenezinho]

The few chances i really played i did it with no safeword.

Both my 2 friends trusted me enough and i trusted knowing they we´re not evil enough to really push my limits.

But i must say, of course i feel challenged to find someone that will make me feel at least close to the limit. And of course i know that´s the kind of feeling we look for as a ler also. On both sides, we want to feel and "taste" it to the fullest!

So all in all, safewords are great when they are needed. When you don´t know the person that well or you´re not sure how you will react. Play without a safeword i think it´s the ultimate challenge for a lee, but only to be taken in the right hands and never to be taken lightly.

Only my view of course 😉 and i feel it seconds most of the band out there

 

[Adam]

The truth is safwords are mainly used with real strict bondage and pain. In most cases tickling wont cause any long term injuries so even if you a pressed past your limit you wont get hurt. (just don't play near a glass coffee table lol) If you really want to enjoy it go without the safeword, you wont be in pain, the worst that will happen is you will be really pissed off, tired and having trouble catching ur breath.

No offense intended, but I don't agree with this. There are a number of things that can happen during tickling that can lead to the need for a safeword. This includes anything from needing a bathroom break to someone having a serious medical crisis if pressed too far. I'm not knocking you, because if you enjoy tickling without a safeword that is your prerogative and I say more power to you. On the other hand, when you say "in most cases tickling won't cause any long term injuries", I believe there should never be any risk of that occurring at all. Why would anyone even want to incur a small injury? I also feel it's a tad irresponsible to say the words "you won't be in pain". Everyone is different. When pressed too far, some 'lees do experience pain. There are those who have told us so on this very site. You may not want to use a safeword, but it doesn't hurt to have one on hand just in case.

 

[TklDuo-Ann]

If I'm going o be restrained in any way, I always use a safeword. Like you, I enjoy being pushed. But, there are other issues that play into it.

The hitch is that I have PTSD and nearly always have at least mild flashbacks during more intense play. Normally, I notice and dismiss them with a promise to myself to address the trigger later...when I'm done having fun. They normally aren't a big deal. But, there've been occassions when I can's simply dismiss them. So, rather than the ler(s) unknowingly pushig me even deeper into it and having to deal with the aftermath of a really bad flash (which can be pretty scary if it goes too deep), I'll either ask for a quick break to get regrounded and then resumeplay or safeword out and go swear at the flash that caused me to cut my fun short.

A fair number of folks know about these issues. But, only a couple know me well enough to be able to pick up on things without being told. So, using a safeword is a safety net for them as well as for myself. For me, it allows the fun to continue longer without them having to worry about it...even if I'm begging and pleading for it to stop. Unless they hear the safeword, they know they can keep on going.

 

[janedoe1]

Hiii! 🙂

I always wanted to get tickled for a longer period of time. Not just a minute or two like I have before. Of course I would be tyed up also... 😉

Its just that I really worry and want a safeword, but still I fantisise about the tickler not stopping when I use it. Im a little embarased about the reasons but it is a fantasy of mine and it is just so annoying

OMG!! I feel the exact same way!! I feel like I have to have a a safe word to get through any session.... But there's this side of me that yearns for him to continue through all my begging and pleading... I guess I really wanna test my true limits. But if my tickler keeps stopping when I surrender, I can't do it. Does that sound hypycritical?

 

[RavenMoon]

Safe words are NOT used mainly with just strict bondage. This is NOT the truth.

There are many reasons why it is wise to have a safe word in place for tickling sessions, especially if you are wanting them to run for extended lengths and you are attempting to push your limits. Extended tickling and extreme tickling run into tickle torture more often than naught. Flesh will get sore and can get sore fast. Breath will get harder and harder to catch. You run the risk of dehydration the longer you go. If you are bound, which you are likely to be, you run the risk of damage due to struggling against the binds. Too much struggling can tighten some knots if they were not set carefully.

A good 'ler should be keeping an eye on all of these things. But it is a simple fact that even a good 'ler can get carried away with a scene. If you are not at a dungeon or a gathering where there is a host, monitor or DM, then there is nobody but you and the 'ler to watch on these things.

More than likely, you will start struggling not only physically, but verbally with the 'ler. More than likely, you will get into begging. How are they supposed to know that your begging them to stop is not normal begging during a scene and an actual request to stop because you can not feel your toes or your hands because a bind has slipped and the 'ler has failed to see it? They more than likely won't. You need a way to effectively communicate this.

While some people do prefer to play without safe words, they are usually the ones who have years of experience in their field of play. I strongly feel it is irresponsible to play without one when you don't have those years of experience, are playing with someone new to tickling/new to you and/or are venturing into a new area, such as tickle torture and extreme tickling.

The choice is ultimately yours, but think upon it wisely. There are a few here who have posted that have years of experience and take the time to assist newbies, including myself, who have given you very good advice regarding the necessity of safe words.

Best wishes to you and yours...

 

[RavenMoon]

Just a side note regarding pushing your limits...

With or without a safe word in place, this really is going to depend upon both your ability and the ability of the 'ler to go beyond what they may have done before. I am a sadomasochist. I know well about pushing beyond set limits as both a submissive and a dominant. It is very hard to gauge where the partner is when you are dominant. As a submissive, or a 'lee in this arena, you must push yourself more than the 'ler can to keep from stopping the scene. You will find, that even with tickling, it is not likely to happen the first time. You will get closer and closer to it. But it really comes down to you not shouting a safe word, or stopping it otherwise, unless the fear or pain you feel is absolutely unbearable to the degree you feel threatened. That can be a tough place to reach sometimes.

Good luck to you! I hope you reach past there...

 

[Spot_Lady]

Safe words mean many things

When I'm being tickled by a group, I use a safe word to let everyone know that I need a break. I keep Spotmanc nearby to evaluate whether I'm done or not in those instances, and I have to say that NEST has gained me lots of friends who would do the same if he wasn't there.

When we're making videos, I haven't used a safe word yet...but he's pushing me ever closer (see Let's Tickle Ariel at Clips4Sale store #18502).

At my first NEST, Libertine told me that the best safe word to use was my own name because no matter how bad it got, that's the one thing I wouldn't forget. But it can't be that easy, I have to say it three times before it becomes a safe word.

Using safe words is a balance between trust and honesty, so use them with discretion. You have to pick your 'lers well, too. If you use your safe word too early, they won't listen, but if you're really honest, they'll know.

 

[TklDuo-Ann]

Using safe words is a balance between trust and honesty, so use them with discretion. You have to pick your 'lers well, too. If you use your safe word too early, they won't listen, but if you're really honest, they'll know.

Well said. 🙂

 

[rhiannon]

I totally agree with RavenMoon, very well said!

 

[MasterPaladin]

I may get argued but here is a way to have a safeword and still have what your looking for.
At first set this limit short like 30 seconds or 1 minute, when you say the safeword the ler tickles for that additional time then stops, you hold out as long as you can. You will find out a little at a time how being tickled beyond your limits feels. increase the time later on if you like it. As most said the ler will learn you and know when you really had enough.

 

[Penguingirl]

Thanks everyone for your replies!!!

I may get argued but here is a way to have a safeword and still have what your looking for.
At first set this limit short like 30 seconds or 1 minute, when you say the safeword the ler tickles for that additional time then stops, you hold out as long as you can. You will find out a little at a time how being tickled beyond your limits feels. increase the time later on if you like it. As most said the ler will learn you and know when you really had enough.

Thats a GREAT idea! I dont think i can keep myself diciplined enough to not use the safe word even when i dont want it to stop so yeah that could work! 🙂