Question to Married ticklers/lees????

[fttickler]

If your partner does not know of your fetish, Do you tell them and hope they understand or do you go out and make tickle friends? Just a thought that came to me the other night. Would love input.

Adam

 

[Neutron]

There Is..

Only one married lady in here I would consider tickling.


Tron

 

[Knox The Hatter]

if your spouse loves you, she will understand. Trust me on that.
Make tickle friends anyway LOL!
BTW I don't think Neutron understood the question. Or he was trying to make us laugh.

 

[Neutron]

Oh...

The question was ridiculous, so I made my own reply.

Be a damn adult, and tell your significant other.


Tron

 

[Mimi]

I personally decided to take the plunge and tell my spouse about my tickling fetish. I'm glad I did. While he is not a born ticklephile, he happily took up an interest in it for the sake of appeasing me and adding some spark to our marriage. He also allows me to have all the tickle friends and playmates I want, knowing it will remain strictly platonic, so life is good 😀

Mimi

 

[Neutron]

Mimi..

I thought you got a divorce? Hopefully not, I always like to see couples work things out.

Tron

 

[Iggy pop]

If you think you have to make "tickle friends" then maybe marriage is not the best institution for you.

 

[Ticklemmmeeeeeee]

Iggy pop....I agree wholeheartedly....🙂....~ticklemmmeeeeeee

 

[Mimi]

Actually, I think you'd be surprised to find how many married couples we have on the TMF that engage with other tickle partners. It remains strictly platonic, and it's just great playful interraction. Happens all the time at gatherings and such. Myself and my husband, TicklingDuo, Venray and Venraya, Penman and Nightfall, Lite and Kwil, TTD and Shygirl, Prinny and SmileyTkls....just a few couples who come to mind off the top of my head that enjoy tickling with fellow ticklephiles, as well as with their partners. If it's consensual, there's certainly nothing wrong with it 🙂

Mimi

 

[Oddjob0226]

Personally, I'm at the point in my life where my partner would have to be into tickling, or at least willing to indulge, if we were to stay together. I accept the fact that this is what I like, and while it does not define me, it is a part of me, just like it is with homosexuals, pedophiles and Dr. Who fans. It isn't going away and supressing it would make me miserable. So my partner would know before I got married.

 

[fttickler]

2 Things......

First..Tron it was not a dumb question...it was just a question. Don't like it.. then ignore it. Ass for Odds answer.." Whats wrong with Dr Who Fans?????


LOL

Adam

 

[Oddjob0226]

Re: 2 Things......

First..Tron it was not a dumb question...it was just a question. Don't like it.. then ignore it. Ass for Odds answer.." Whats wrong with Dr Who Fans?????


LOL

Adam

Now I never inferred that there's anything wrong with 'em, did I?


Dr. Whoooooo-ooo, Dr. Who
Dr. Whooooo-ooo, Tardis
-Yay!-

Repeat until the 7th inning stretch is over.....

 

[Ticklemmmeeeeeee]

oddjob....I feel the same way....I have had non-tickling relationships and I was always unfulfilled...being tickled in a relationship by someone I love and who loves to tickle me is essential to my sense of well-being and happiness....it's a sign of affection to me....I need it as much as I need other signs of affection that correlate in a love relationship....and I am not ashamed to admit that...as u said, there is so much more to me than my ticklishness and loving to be tickled but it is as essential to my well-being as any other aspect of the relationship....when my bf would tell me he loved to tickle me it was the sweetest music to my ears...it made me desire him even more...I have always viewed being tickled as a great expression of affection so it just solidifies a relationship when I can express that and be accepted for it...and desired because of it.......it's sad that in the early stages of a relationship I think both people place such importance on whether or not the other person likes them they fail to communicate what really matters to them...I feel it's simple...if the person u are choosing as a life partner isn't someone you feel comfortable discussing "anything" with, why would u even choose that person???....~ticklemmmeeeeeee🙂

 

[Shem the Penman]

I'd just like to note that there's a difference between engaging in tickle play at gatherings, which Nightfall and I do do, as Mimi has mentioned, and meeting people one on one (or two on one, for that matter), which we don't.

 

[BellaRisa]

As a married lady reasonably well known in the commuinity, I get this question quite a bit. And it's NOT a ridiculous question, it's actually quite valid. The only dumb question really is the one you don't ask. Or you're afraid to ask because of random nastiness...but I digress:

I BEG people not to marry or even get seriously involved with anyone with whom they can't be themselves. Recipe for disaster every time. Your life partner has to respect ALL of you, or it ain't gonna work.

Now having said that, I believe everything's negotiable between loving and intelligent people, even outside encounters. Like many folks out there, I fell in love with someone who understands my kinks but doesn't share them. He indulges me if I ask, but often that doesn't feel quite right; I prefer to play with those who really, truly-to-the-bone 'get' where I'm comin' from and what I want. So I have very special and precious play-partners. They love me and my family, respect my husband and adore my children. And indulge me in the activities my husband finds, well, boring. He HATES tying me for instance, sez it's annoying if I can't use my hands to touch him whenever he touches me. So my friend ties me. A lot. And very well . And lord knows I attend gatherings and host my own, jealousy doesn't affect my relationship though I know we're pretty secure compared to many.

So I say talk to your partner and make sure they understand you, and see where things go from there. The right one for you will help make you satisfied one way or another🙂

Bella

 

[TicklingDuo]

I agree with Bella. I've talked to dozens of folks over the years (mostly guys, but not all) who are miserable because they have a spouse who isn't into tickling. Many of them look for it outside of the marriage in secrecy in order to fulfill the urge. That has pros and cons. Yes, it may fulfill that urge. But, many of these people end up with guilt and self-condemnation feeling that they've somehow cheated on their spouse. I connected with a guy once who told me his wife knew what he was doing...only to find out while we were together that she didn't have a clue. I wasn't too happy about it. While I don't think there's anything inherantly wrong with connecting with others (on a platonic level) outside the knowledge and presence of the spouse, I DO think there are many factors to consider before doing so. There is a lot of potential for trouble coming from it.

Should these folks have told their SO before marriage that this was so important to them? Ideally, yes. Anything that much a part of who you are should be shared before making a life commitment, no matter what part of your life it entails. But, what about those folks who didn't recognize it until later?...or those who were afraid to say anything in the beginning and are now "stuck"?...or those for whom the partner said they were cool with it only to learn later on that they really hated and wanted nothing to do with it? Adam asks a reasonable question that is really much more complex for many people.

For those, and there are many, who feel everyone should just come out with it... I don't agree...at least not completely. Yes, it would be good to be up front and talk about it with your SO. But, there are many things that can play into timing on when to do so in order to avoid problems and have the best chance of it being accepted and discussed reasonably. That is a decision best left to the person and, IMO, is nobody else's business to tell them when or how to do so...and especially not anyone else's business to out the person.

As one of those married couples Mimi mentioned, I was lucky enough to find someone who's into tickling. We enjoy it on our own and with others (on a totally platonic level of play). But, that wasn't the basis for us getting together beyond our online contact. We met when Drew found my tickling site and wrote to me. So, we already knew that both of us was really into tickling. It wasn't until we found out how much OTHER stuff we had in common that we decided to connect. Tickling plays a definite role in our relationship. But, it doesn't control it. It's simply one part of who we are.

Ann

 

[Neutron]

Re: 2 Things......

First..Tron it was not a dumb question...it was just a question. Don't like it.. then ignore it. Ass for Odds answer.." Whats wrong with Dr Who Fans?????


LOL

Adam

Sure it's a dumb question. You're an adult right? Living in a free world right? Then just come out with it. If the lady doesn't like it she'll dump you and you'll be better off.


Tron

 

[dvnc]

Geez. This ain't a date we're discussin'. It's a lifelong attempt at commitment. Not cluin' your partner to so strong a desire is NOT a good idea. Clue 'em. Sooner. Don't let it fester as a secret.

 

[Knox The Hatter]

Like I said before, if the Interest loves you, the Interest will indulge you...the Interest may not like it, but if it makes you happy (and you yourself aren't a jerk about it), he or she will go that extra mile for you. I believe it's alright to go out and find tickle partners who will RAISE THE ROOF...provided it doesn't lead to...uh...complications. You just have to show a little self control. I was gonna say "restraint", but that has a slightly different context in this place LOL!

 

[Soda83pop]

Hey Bella!!

I hadnt been here in a while and noticed you had posted. I still cruise over to your photo set you did with that dominatrix months ago in the school girl outfit (you were beautiful).

Back on track. I usually stay in the celebrity areas of the board, but since I am married,I figured I could add something. My tickling preference leans towards the mainstream end. So I have no desire to tie my wife and tickle her (tie her up and do other things is another story 😛). She knows about the ticklish celebrity contributions and really doesnt lose sleep about it. But since my foot preference is so strong, I told her before we started dating. Actually, my family knows about how much I love feet (her feet more than anyone's). Its actually an ongoing joke at home, work, etc. When I first told her, I even showed some of the God awful Leg Action mags I had. Then, when I started posting at the mousePad I took her there too. She even offered to pose for them (which wasnt going to happen because the crowd is too judgemental). She knows about all shows I tape looking for Tickletown contributions and vidcap trading. most importantly, I get to adore her feet at will 😀.

As you can see, it can work out. The important thing is that if your partner ISNT into it, show him/her as much if not more affection so they are never playing second fiddle.

 

[Oddjob0226]

I think Knox, Bella and Ticklemeeee (hey - fun Yahoo Groups!!!) are pretty much on target, as are many of you, really. If it's something that's a part of you that isn't going to go away, be up front about it. I'd love to find someone in the tickling community to pair up with - and if she's rich and good looking, then zooma-zoom-zoom! But if the one you pair up with isn't into it, both of you could indulge the other in play for the sake of the relationship. Example- if my wife didn't do tickling, and I didn't do hot wax, I'd still play with her with he wax in the way she liked and she'd hopefully play with me in my tickling ways. And if we still couldn't see eye to eye in our fetishes, but everything else clicked, it wouldn't be the end of everything if she went to a wax-and-clothspin gathering and I went to my tickling gatherings if it kept us sane overall and together in the long run.

 

[reflexology414]

it wouldn't work for me

I can honestly say that I would never be able to last in a relationship with a woman who wasn't open to tickling. I simply wouldn't be happy (I know from experience that it just couldn't work).
As such, I make sure it's out in the open early on (that way if it's a problem, I'll know before we proceed).

 

[drew70]

First of all, if you get differing opinions as you clearly have, it's just stupid to call the question dumb. As for me, I'm married to a lady who just naturally loves to tickle. It's not a fetish for her, and she's not obsessed with it the way I am, but she pretty much knows the extent of my involvement in the community. Like Shem and Nightfall, I don't do private one-on-one ticklings, but limit my social ticklings to gatherings. I hope to one day talk her into coming along.

 

[Neutron]

Flat Out..

If the person is your partner, you tell them, otherwise they aren't really your partner, therefore the question is at a minimum moot, at the most ignorant as hell.

Tron

 

[BellaRisa]

Re: Flat Out..

If the person is your partner, you tell them, otherwise they aren't really your partner, therefore the question is at a minimum moot, at the most ignorant as hell.

Tron

For cryin' out loud, stop being such a Tron. there's nothing wrong with someone asking a question. YOU asked about a spanking company on this tickling forum, I answered you even though it didn't belong here according to some. Show others some similar courtesy. If it's is so agonizingly ignorant for you, and you're as busy a man as you say you are with your running and work and body slides, why are you taking the time to return to this thread add nothing besides crabbiness?

And didn't you barely get done harrassing dtrell for similar thread policing? I think I hear a pot calling a kettle gestapo

Bella