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Quotes

F

ForgottenTcklr

4th Level Red Feather
Joined
May 11, 2001
Messages
1,835
Points
36
I am always looking for quotes that are either intelligent or just downright funny! So I thought I'd make a thread to see if anyone could share some with me!
 
"I just broke up with someone and the last thing she said to me was, 'You'll never find anyone like me again!' I'm thinking, 'I should hope not! If I don't want you, why would I want someone like you?'

--Larry Miller
 
This one is really funny. I can imagine doing this myself. I mean... it's her fault!!!



"A woman broke up with me and sent me pictures of her and her new boyfriend in bed together. Solution? I sent them to her dad."

--Christopher Case
 
"Relationships are hard. It's like a full-time job, and we should treat it like one. If your boyfriend or girlfriend wants to leave you, they should give you two weeks' notice. There should be severance pay, and before they leave you, they should have to find you a temp."

--Bob Ettinger
 
"Our bombs are smarter than the average high school student. At least they can find Kuwait."

--A. Whitney Brown
 
"I don't know what's wrong with my television set. I was getting C-Span and the Home Shopping Network on the same station. I actually bought a congressman."

--Bruce Baum
 
"Did you ever walk in a room and forget why you walked in? I think that's how dogs spend their lives."

--Sue Murphy
 
"A conservative is a man with two perfectly good legs who, however, has never learned to walk forward."
-- Franklin D. Roosevelt, radio speech, October 26, 1939.

Sorry for taking so long to post, FT! 🙂
 
One of my personal Favorites.

"So look around you...this isn't our fucking neighborhood, it's a battlefield" -Edward Norton in American History X.
 
that's an... odd... choice of quote, considering that in the movie he was talking about his neighbourhood being 'invaded' by jews, black people and so on.

Biggles
 
"The statistics on sanity are that one out of every four Americans is suffering from some form of mental illness. Think of your three best friends. If they are okay, then it's you."

--Rita Mae Brown
 
"USA Today has come out with a new survey: Apparently three out of four people make up 75 percent of the population."

--David Letterman
 
"If God doesn't destroy Hollywood Boulevard, he owes Sodom and Gomorrah an apology."

--Jay Leno
 
"The Swiss have an interesting army. Five hundred years without a war. Pretty impressive. Also pretty lucky for them. Ever see that little Swiss Army knife they have to fight with? Not much of a weapon there. Corkscrews. Bottle openers. 'Come on, buddy, let's go. You get past me, the guy in back of me, he's got a spoon. Back off. I've got the toe clippers right here.'"

--Jerry Seinfeld
 
yea...

Biggles of 266 said:
that's an... odd... choice of quote, considering that in the movie he was talking about his neighbourhood being 'invaded' by jews, black people and so on.

Biggles
Click to expand...

And?? What can I say, I loved the movie.
 
Ah, yes, divorce, from the Latin word meaning to rip out a man's genitals through his wallet.

-Robin Williams
 
According to a new survey, women say they feel more comfortable undressing in front of men than they do undressing in front of other women. They say that women are too judgmental, where, of course, men are just grateful.

-Jay Leno


(I have to agree with him, I'd be grateful!!!)
 
The problem with the designated driver program, it's not a desirable job. But if you ever get sucked into doing it, have fun with it. At the end of the night, drop them off at the wrong house.

-Jeff Foxworthy
 
See, the problem is that God gives men a brain and a penis, and only enough blood to run one at a time.

-Robin Williams
 
"The only two things that are infinite in size are the universe and human stupidity. And I'm not completely sure about the universe."
-- Albert Einstein

Heh. 😀
 
Re: yea...

Krokus said:


And?? What can I say, I loved the movie.
Click to expand...


And...after nearly 2000 posts, the man finally reveals himself.
 
"I wouldn't want to belong to any club that would accept me as a member."-Groucho Marx.

"Pocohontas married John Alden, and they raised litte poka-chips"-Daffy Duck.

"Someday, someday I'll get you, Red Baron!"-Snoopy.

"Experience is what you have left after you've forgotten his/her name."-Anon.

"O.K. S**** you guys, I'm going home!"-Eric Cartman.

"If you can say to yourself, 'I'm alive, and that's wonderful!' then you are part of the magic circus of Dr. Lau." Tony Randall. The Magic Circus of Dr. Lau.
 
Re: Re: yea...

Moses25 said:



And...after nearly 2000 posts, the man finally reveals himself.
Click to expand...

Whats that supposed to mean?? I really did enjoy the movie!
 
" I can't remember if it was a telecaster or a stratocaster, but I do remember that it had the voice of a horny angel"

- Meatloaf
 
Re: Re: Re: yea...

Krokus said:
Whats that supposed to mean?? I really did enjoy the movie!
Click to expand...

I'm just teasing ya, bro. 😛

Got y'all hot and bothered there for a minute, eh?

Ya okay, go ahead and deny it...

Cheers. 😀
 
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