Sadists, Dom(me)s and affection

[ticklemepls]

I agree 100%.. just ask pretty much any Dom... Or their pet for that matter- I think thats dead on correct and with a relationship like that- its a natural course I think...

 

[DanishTickling]

I thought I posted this months ago, but I don't remember the discussion and can't find it. So I guess I didn't. But I meant to.

A while back, I had a pretty passionate night of tickle torture and sex with this girl. Afterward, when we were just kind of lying around in bed, I started playing with her hair, or something. She remarked that, out of all the guys she'd slept with, I was by far the most affectionate after sex, in terms of things like stroking her or petting her hair or whatever.

Her theory was it's because of how dominant and objectifying I am during sex. She told me that according to something she'd read, doms/tops/masters were generally more affectionate to their partners because with them, there exists a kind of sense of ownership over the other person, and people like to take care of things that they own.

I never decided if I agree or not. It's an interesting theory, though. Your thoughts?

I know what you talk about, but in my case it’s not only after the scene I experience it, but also during the scene.
I love to be dominant and “torture” the sub but while doing this I also feel like being more gentle and affectionate to her. can’t really explain this complex, so I don’t know if it’s the ownership you talk about or the humanity in me that darkhand proposed... I usually try to avoid my “human level" though

 

[LD_Tickler]

I usually try to avoid my “human level" though

Seriously, eh? Fuck that shit.

 

[Strider]

Her theory was it's because of how dominant and objectifying I am during sex. She told me that according to something she'd read, doms/tops/masters were generally more affectionate to their partners because with them, there exists a kind of sense of ownership over the other person, and people like to take care of things that they own.

I don't think there's an intrinsic connection. Affection after intimate contact is pretty common whether the contact is vanilla or kinky.

If your question is whether or not a Dominant's sense of obligation towards Their submissive can engender physical affection as a way of affirming the relationship; then I'd say yes, with the caveat that that sort of affirmation can be expressed in different ways regarding the preferences of the individuals involved. Some people's minds work in such a way that their primary way of picking up on such affirmations might be verbal instead of physical. Or the parameters of the relationship could be such that it would naturally engender one or the other.

All of this is equally applicable to the way a submissive communicates to their Dominant as well.

 

[gypsyhanna]

Personally I take that as a sign that someone is a "natural" Dominant, a born leader who is truly in control of her/himself and their sub. To the point where they are not afraid to be as mushy after the scene as they want, without feeling weakened or insecure by doing so.

When I am topping there is a lot of love and spoiling afterward, and I wouldn't submit to a top who couldn't show me affection. That kind of person would be extremely hard for me to bond with, and bonding is what makes me trust someone enough to share a D/s scene with them.

I do have my softer side, I guess *grumble*.