so i work with this girl....

[moose]

This is really interesting 🙂

I would say, and I am no expert, that the girl actually has some lust for you on some way. Now if you should move on that is another story. But why do I think like this?

a) Avoidance can mean either that someone absolutely doesnt like you.....or......it can mean the absolute oposite, that they actually would like to get in touch with you but get too carried away with the thought and cant react to your presence as they dont know how to deal with what they feel.

b) The fact that at the party she actually decides to engage you after drinking.....makes me think she doesnt hate you and its actually the other way around.....she is actually shy because she does feel something and doesnt know what to do. Once alchool removes much of her restraints, she will move and do what she really wants to do....which is engage you.

On top of this, we have the boyfriend being scared which does indicate that either she did talk about you to him previously.....or he did see her displaying some kind of attention with you that he recognized as something else. Obviously the guy can be just paranoid....but the whole thing seems to add quite consistently.

Now the milion dollar question is:
What do you want to do??? And is it worth it???
Because moving on this girl will likely get you in some trouble. You dont know her that well to understand if she is really in love with the other guy, if she has issues with him, if she is trully in love with you but lacks the experience to know what it is.....its pretty much a blind guess over there.
Also you dont know at all how she can react. She is obviously conflicted, at least for a bit. She can snap either way. She can both fall for you or just freak out because she wants to be with her boyfriend and doesnt like the kind of "play with fire" you may be to her.

So....no real answer!
Just some more food for thought.

Remember that no action is without consequence.
If you move, you should be prepared to risk all and loose all. Just be sure she is worth it if you do decide to move.

you open eyes to alotta things maybe she is shy and is just scared that she isn't good enough for me. but I'd hate to make an effort and have to deal with her BF stalking/threating me but manageable. so idk maybe I should keep making an innocent move at her....

 

[WorkInProgress]

If you've ever lived in New York City and had to rely on subways to get you around, then you can relate to this: It's late at night, you're on a platform waiting for a train, and there's none in sight. Then, you look up in the tunnel, and if you really strain your eyes, you can see the light shift a little. Then it shifts a little more. Now it really seems as if there's slightly more light up there than there was a moment ago. So you start to think there's a train. You watch a little more, and the light shifts slightly (or at least it seems to). Strange. Is there a train? It ought to be moving faster if it's there. A few more minutes go by, the light shifts slightly again.

But no, there's no train. And when the train finally does come, you're reminded of a principle that you might have forgotten: When there's a train coming, you'll know it. When there's a train coming, it will be so loud, so fast, and so all-consuming that you won't have to guess or speculate. Before you have time to think, it will barrel down the tracks, stop, open its doors, and let you in. If the train isn't totally barreling down the tracks and stopping and opening its doors and letting you in, that means, there's no train.

So it is with a woman wanting to have a relationship with you.

 

[MrTicklefeet]

This is an odd thread. No one seems to have taken into account the woman in question has her own intuition and perceptions. Is this Moose guy acting goofy ogling her, checking her out up and down, breathing heavy? Finally approaches her saying they haven't said two words to each other, so he has to ask if she's ticklish. What the fuck is that? That's kind of showing his hand, doncha think?
"I don't talk to you because that's the way I'd like to keep it," sounded like a straight forward answer. Yet Moose seems to be obsessed with this woman and really not explaining why, besides wanting to know if she's ticklish.
Let it go dude, before you find yourself hauled up into the Human Resources Department for a meeting.

 

[moose]

This is an odd thread. No one seems to have taken into account the woman in question has her own intuition and perceptions. Is this Moose guy acting goofy ogling her, checking her out up and down, breathing heavy? Finally approaches her saying they haven't said two words to each other, so he has to ask if she's ticklish. What the fuck is that? That's kind of showing his hand, doncha think?
"I don't talk to you because that's the way I'd like to keep it," sounded like a straight forward answer. Yet Moose seems to be obsessed with this woman and really not explaining why, besides wanting to know if she's ticklish.
Let it go dude, before you find yourself hauled up into the Human Resources Department for a meeting.

no you got it all wrong. when I first met her I tried to talk to her saying things like "hey how are you" and "hi how is going" but she would just give me a one word answer and run away. But when we are in a big group her friends and my friends are the same and she would be talkative and whatnot to them but I soon as I open my mouth she gets quite. so I basically gave up trying to do or say anything to her. I don't even look at her if we are crossing path. the only reason I asked the question was to maybe try and break the ice with her because we've known each other for a year. working and hanging out with our friends but she for what ever reason doesn't like me.

 

[MrTicklefeet]

I've got it all wrong? All right, just keep telling yourself that.

 

[duderino84]

no you got it all wrong. when I first met her I tried to talk to her saying things like "hey how are you" and "hi how is going" but she would just give me a one word answer and run away. But when we are in a big group her friends and my friends are the same and she would be talkative and whatnot to them but I soon as I open my mouth she gets quite. so I basically gave up trying to do or say anything to her. I don't even look at her if we are crossing path. the only reason I asked the question was to maybe try and break the ice with her because we've known each other for a year. working and hanging out with our friends but she for what ever reason doesn't like me.

Sounds like guilt by association kind of signals.

A special girl would encourage any form of socializing from you and would not limit you.

This girl does not know, care, or display any characteristic that should make herself anything special beyond serving as (when I say this I mean in the subjective term) eye candy for other people.

 

[moose]

I think everyone is missing the point. I do find her attractive but I'm not making any attempt to get with her at all. yet the idea that she hates me or doesn't like me bothers me because I haven't done anything to her I'm telling the truth that I haven't made any attempt to get with her, I don't even look at her when we cross path. That's what I don't get about her....

 

[duderino84]

I think everyone is missing the point. I do find her attractive but I'm not making any attempt to get with her at all. yet the idea that she hates me or doesn't like me bothers me because I haven't done anything to her I'm telling the truth that I haven't made any attempt to get with her, I don't even look at her when we cross path. That's what I don't get about her....

Some ppl just want to pick and choose how they see fit. Don't let it eat you.

 

[Skipadeedoodah]

I haven't read through this entire thing, so forgive me if this has already been addressed but... am I the only one who thinks that maybe she actually doesn't like you? If she doesn't talk to you on purpose and wants to keep it that way... I dunno, when I avoid talking to people it's because I don't like them. When I'm drunk I'll talk to fucking anybody. You can't shut me up. Could be that she just doesn't like you.

 

[MrMacphisto]

Girl sounds like she has issues. You should probably be thankful she "wants to keep it that way."

Even if you're attracted to her, you're better off avoiding the drama and pursuing someone actually single.

 

[chicago]

How is this situation so complicated? Chick dont wanna talk to you. (Dont know how that translates automatically to 'she has issues' tho). Move on.

 

[MrTicklefeet]

How is this situation so complicated? Chick dont wanna talk to you. (Dont know how that translates automatically to 'she has issues' tho). Move on.

That's what I was trying to say. I knew a gal who during the Summer of Love (yes, I'm showing my age,) guys whould try to guilt trip women into sex with saying "Are you uptight?" She'd reply, "No, I just don't like you."

 

[FeatherEndeavor]

I think everyone is missing the point. I do find her attractive but I'm not making any attempt to get with her at all. yet the idea that she hates me or doesn't like me bothers me because I haven't done anything to her I'm telling the truth that I haven't made any attempt to get with her, I don't even look at her when we cross path. That's what I don't get about her....

But there are a million reasons why somebody doesn't like another person and not all of them involve something that the person has done. Who knows why she acts the way she does towards you but it may not be something that you said or did. It may not be your fault. And even if it is your fault, so what, nobody's perfect. Like many people in this thread have said thus far stop worrying about her and just move on.

 

[MrMacphisto]

How is this situation so complicated? Chick dont wanna talk to you. (Dont know how that translates automatically to 'she has issues' tho). Move on.

She made it complicated with the incident when she was drunk. Granted, the boyfriend was probably more at fault for his comments to moose.

For the record though, "moving on" was exactly what I recommended. He should avoid her whenever possible.