- Joined
- Apr 2, 2001
- Messages
- 14,297
- Points
- 48
@Cyberknismo94
I'm only a NPC to you, so I fully realize that little I say has any weight. I can say that dismissing me as thus is classic Incel philosophy. If you don't like what someone says or it doesn't fit into your own view trivialize the speaker as not 'real' or valid. You also thought I was female so that means you were viewing my words through a different perspective also. So most of what you said shot off into the rough as a result. That certainly makes for a poor basis for decent conversation.
You seem to be very heavily invested in selling us the idea that your life has sucked, and will always suck. Period. Forever and ever 'til death do you part. That's a pretty dark place to crawl into and zip up behind you. I regret that you feel that way, and feel like you'll feel that way forever. That is very much a definition of an unhappy life. I don't like to see anyone living there.
It seems that you have some unresolved feelings toward your sister going on. A touch of jealousy for her female privilege perhaps? In any case another factor that must make you feel even more isolated. Hopefully you can resolve this and strengthen an important relationship at some point.
So yes, you've convinced us that things are sad for you.
Lets step back and access. You are not an Alpha. As a result you can't find partners. You didn't get the looks, or personality, and have failed to garner the money or power that could compensate for lack there. So you are rejected by every woman on the planet (including all those you've not asked, and all those yet to encounter you going forward) because women are judged by different standards, and hold the power of choice in relationship formation. And they ALL share the exact same ruleset when making those choices. That is the picture you've painted for us with your words.
Yes, pretty grim looking future there.
However perhaps we've accessed wrongly.
Perhaps you are an average looking guy, who has a unique set of hobbies and interests that cover a variety of topics. Perhaps while you may lack money and power you have kindness and an ability to sympathize with others who share some of your traits, and a work ethic that while it's not made you rich, has made you comfortable. Perhaps every woman on the planet does not follow the EXACT same set of rules when picking who they choose to spend time with. Perhaps one of Infinity - (some number probably less then 100) of them might like you because of who you are. You just have not found them yet.
Thats a more hopeful perspective. It's not as dramatic as the one you've staked out, but it's certainly nice to have the secret ingredient of hope rather then eternal gloom, no?
You consistently pick the negative perspective for your situation.
We change over our lives. The you of high school is not he you of college or your 30's or 50's and so forth.
Countless people in their 60's and 70's find partners at that later stage of life. And they are not bringing looks or even wealth to the table. They connect based on who they are, and what they offer.
That past is not a predicate for the future. You can MAKE it one though by giving up however.
The issue that I, and many others have with your position is that you have given up responsibility for your situation. Perhaps the universe tossed you into the shit end of the pool. That blows. But what you DO after you surface and spit that lungful of shit out matters. You are not struggling to eat, have a warm home, and so forth. You have the resources to change yourself. That could be as simple as trying a new hobby, or as complex as entering therapy to sort out your head so you can get better perspectives on yourself. But it's power you have. Looking mournfully at a world you feel you cannot have, and deciding you never will simply makes that future true.
No one is promised anything. Especially another person to be with you.
You do yourself huge disservices by painting all woman with the same brush as to how they choose, and as to what motivates them. Your perspective on what you or women will want in decades ahead as you age is limited. And most of all, you fail yourself when you give up and say this is how it is and will always be.
Is it unfair that you might have to move a mountain to achieve what another guy does with a cocky smile? Yup. But nowhere is there a scroll of rules that say the game doesn't work that way. Sometimes you need to do twice as much work to get half as much reward.
That is one of the choices adults learn to make. Work though it's hard. Even hurts. Or... don't, and just be unhappy. It certainly takes less energy, though it's nowhere near as rewarding.
Myriads
I'm only a NPC to you, so I fully realize that little I say has any weight. I can say that dismissing me as thus is classic Incel philosophy. If you don't like what someone says or it doesn't fit into your own view trivialize the speaker as not 'real' or valid. You also thought I was female so that means you were viewing my words through a different perspective also. So most of what you said shot off into the rough as a result. That certainly makes for a poor basis for decent conversation.
You seem to be very heavily invested in selling us the idea that your life has sucked, and will always suck. Period. Forever and ever 'til death do you part. That's a pretty dark place to crawl into and zip up behind you. I regret that you feel that way, and feel like you'll feel that way forever. That is very much a definition of an unhappy life. I don't like to see anyone living there.
Why do i have to endure every rejection while she got to experience a wonderfull adolescence, being the one who rejected and still managing to find several guys despite her social problems?
It seems that you have some unresolved feelings toward your sister going on. A touch of jealousy for her female privilege perhaps? In any case another factor that must make you feel even more isolated. Hopefully you can resolve this and strengthen an important relationship at some point.
So yes, you've convinced us that things are sad for you.
Lets step back and access. You are not an Alpha. As a result you can't find partners. You didn't get the looks, or personality, and have failed to garner the money or power that could compensate for lack there. So you are rejected by every woman on the planet (including all those you've not asked, and all those yet to encounter you going forward) because women are judged by different standards, and hold the power of choice in relationship formation. And they ALL share the exact same ruleset when making those choices. That is the picture you've painted for us with your words.
Yes, pretty grim looking future there.
However perhaps we've accessed wrongly.
Perhaps you are an average looking guy, who has a unique set of hobbies and interests that cover a variety of topics. Perhaps while you may lack money and power you have kindness and an ability to sympathize with others who share some of your traits, and a work ethic that while it's not made you rich, has made you comfortable. Perhaps every woman on the planet does not follow the EXACT same set of rules when picking who they choose to spend time with. Perhaps one of Infinity - (some number probably less then 100) of them might like you because of who you are. You just have not found them yet.
Thats a more hopeful perspective. It's not as dramatic as the one you've staked out, but it's certainly nice to have the secret ingredient of hope rather then eternal gloom, no?
I don't have a girlfriend yet? You know what "trends" are? You know what "observing a trend" means? I don't have a girlfriend and i can't for sure foresee the future but i can analyze my lived experience (i'm not a kid anymore and i lived enough to notice stuff) and see how the trend was, why it was like that, why it will probably never change due to low possibilities at work, aging, being more and more lonely and socially incapable so i can make a quite good prediction even if not 100% sure (like every other prediction)
You consistently pick the negative perspective for your situation.
We change over our lives. The you of high school is not he you of college or your 30's or 50's and so forth.
Countless people in their 60's and 70's find partners at that later stage of life. And they are not bringing looks or even wealth to the table. They connect based on who they are, and what they offer.
That past is not a predicate for the future. You can MAKE it one though by giving up however.
The issue that I, and many others have with your position is that you have given up responsibility for your situation. Perhaps the universe tossed you into the shit end of the pool. That blows. But what you DO after you surface and spit that lungful of shit out matters. You are not struggling to eat, have a warm home, and so forth. You have the resources to change yourself. That could be as simple as trying a new hobby, or as complex as entering therapy to sort out your head so you can get better perspectives on yourself. But it's power you have. Looking mournfully at a world you feel you cannot have, and deciding you never will simply makes that future true.
No one is promised anything. Especially another person to be with you.
You do yourself huge disservices by painting all woman with the same brush as to how they choose, and as to what motivates them. Your perspective on what you or women will want in decades ahead as you age is limited. And most of all, you fail yourself when you give up and say this is how it is and will always be.
Is it unfair that you might have to move a mountain to achieve what another guy does with a cocky smile? Yup. But nowhere is there a scroll of rules that say the game doesn't work that way. Sometimes you need to do twice as much work to get half as much reward.
That is one of the choices adults learn to make. Work though it's hard. Even hurts. Or... don't, and just be unhappy. It certainly takes less energy, though it's nowhere near as rewarding.
Myriads