Commercial break starts:
("They say a man should always dress, for the job he wants.
So, why am I dressed up like a pirate in this restaurant.
It's all because some hacker stole my identity,
Now, I'm in here every weekend serving chowder and iced tea.
Shoulda gone to free credit report dot com (Yehaw !)
I woulda seen this coming at me like an atom bomb,
They monitor your credit and send you email alerts.
So you don't wind up selling fish to tourist in tee shirts (Twang !)."
End thread jack)