The average person and tickling

[Raptor]

I was reading a rag the other day (Star or National Enquirer not sure) when I came across someone writing in for help about her boyfriend that has a foot fetish and it creeps her out a little. She's ok with him rubbing her feet but she says he gets a little "kinky" with her feet in bed which makes her uncomfortable.

Just imagine what the average person thinks about tickling. I can say from experience that tickling does not go over well with many average people. A tickle fight here and there might be cool but tickling for the sake of tickling is just strange to some people. I myself don't get certain fetishes but to each his own but I think average people would equate tickling with other "deviant" fetishes and not see it as we do. I even know a person that is into BDS&M but looks at you like you have 2 heads if you mention tickling her. Strange huh? Thank GOD for this forum!

Anyway, what are your thoughts on this? How do you think the average person views tickling.

By the way, the advice giver told her that she wouldn't put a foot fetish in the kinky column and that she should get a little kinky herself.

 

[Comfort Eagle]

I think by "kinky" with her feet, maybe she meant like sticking it in his mouth maybe. Or something, like, "kinkier"...


Anyway, it really just depends on the person. Some people think tickling's fun, some like it in small doses, some just flat out hate it always. It also depends on how much they like the person trying to tickle them. I don't really know of a universal, "average" view of it, really.

 

[BellaRisa]

This will probably sound awfully curmudgeony (yes that's a word dammit 😎) , but I care less and less about what the 'average' person thinks as time goes by. Whatever you like, from tickling to vegetarianism to Family Guy, there's somebody-actually a ton of somebodies-who thinks you're a nut. So be it. I'll be a nut over here with some really, fun, seriously cool people, and you can be over there with your nay-saying friends who like what *you* like. I've learned that we're all 'average' to someone, because they have a passion for something we find disquieting. I have two pretty intense kinks, but my friend with the medical fetish has fantasies that make me want to hide under my bed. The stuff she's actually done...wow That makes me one of the average folks in relation to her...

/Rant. To answer your question, average people think tickling is annoying but fun for a minute in a 'normal' way. If it's sexual there's something wrong with you, because only 'regular' sexual acts are supposed to be sexual. The average people are missing out on a lot 😉

 

[method11236]

The key to happiness is to not care what anyone thinks about you.

The key to power, is to carefully manage what everyone thinks about you.

-Meth

 

[RavenMoon]

I have over six years experience as a sadomasochist. I was raised in the life by a dear friend of mine who was a proDomina. When I first started communicating with my Love, he told me he was into tickling and attended gatherings. I giggled when I read it. I thought it was cute...

But I remember the first time we were together and he ran his fingers along my side, finding those spots. OMG! I squirmed and giggled and was incredibly turned on, not just by the different, intense sensation, but also by how he reacted to my reactions. I was hooked.

The point is, that even within the alternative lifestyles, this view that "my kink is better than yours" still exists. I see it every day as I mentor others and blog online. The key to living healthy and happily is keeping an open mind, understanding there are many ways, and not letting the vanillas drag you down with their perception of right and wrong. I have spoken to many people who have repressed who they are because of this. My Love and I included. It is sad to have to cage y our desires to please others.

Your needs should be your first priority. Not appeasing some one who judges you.

 

[milagros317]

I guess I'm an old curmudgeon like Bella. To hell with what the average person thinks. There are always narrow-minded people out there, and Puritans who can't stand the fact that you're having fun.

You don't need to educate or transform the narrow-minded. All you need to do is find a compatible adult partner.

 

[Mitchell]

As most on here are aware from my past posts, I asked many female snail mail pen pals "The Question" before I joined the TMF. This was from 1996 to 2002. Of the about fifty answers that myself, and my late pen pal/friend Don received, I can recall only about one or two saying they enjoyed being tickled. The other females confessed their ticklishness, but most of them said they hated to be tickled.

While we might not care what other people think, I want to do some analysis here: I think, that the "average" person hates to be tickled, because, it has probably always been inflicted on them, in some non consensual way, of an older sibling, or even significant other, holding them down, and tickling the daylights out of them. It was done to be playful, or to annoy, or to have power and control, in a bad way. A better way might have been to discuss it with them, and to introduce the tickling slowly. I think, that most vanillas dont think of it this way, because its more a fleeding playful thing to them, then the sexual thing it is to those of us who are into tickling.

I know very few average people who actually enjoy being tickled. That being said, this is why we have our own special community. It is just like every other interest, from feet, to other fetishes. As long as we are comfortable with ourselves, and within our community, and have friends who share our common interest, that is all that is important. As to what others think, well, differing opinions is what makes the world go round.

Mitch

 

[Fantastklr]

I don't believe that any legitimate study has ever been done to determine how the general population views tickling, so we can only speculate based upon our limited personal observations. Over the years, I've found that tickling is a rather popular, yet rarely mentioned, form of foreplay. I also think that many "average" people enjoy tickling for fun, as long as they are the tickler. Not very many like being the ticklee, but there are certainly some who do.

 

[WorkInProgress]

You know what, though? There's a very real pragmatic issue involved here, and that's this: We have friendships with people who are outsiders to the fetish realm, and we have to choose one a case-by-case basis which ones to tell about it and which ones not. Five years ago, I wasn't telling anybody. I remember one time back then when I was walking through Bryant Park in New York on my way to one of those TMF local munches that I had organized at a nearby restaurant called Jack's. In Bryant Park, I saw a woman whom I was getting to know as a close friend. I took care not to let her see me because I was afraid she'd ask what I was doing and I'd have to make up something; God forbid she know I was meeting up with my fetish friends. Fast forward to a few years later when she and I went out for drinks and I told her the whole story of my fetish life. Her reply, and I quote: "That is so cool!" Of course, I've also told you about an incident where I told another woman about it, one whom I'd just met through the personals and one who I thought would be a good platonic friend, and she totally freaked out and was never in touch again. So that's two extremes.

I'd say, in friendships you have to take it case-by-case, and in intimacy, you just have to be honest with yourself about how much you need to be able to share the fetish with your partner, and choose accordingly.

On the original question, the general public thinks tickling is silly play in small doses and horrible torture in large. They've never heard of it as a fetish at all. But, they run a very wide gamut when it comes to how they'll react when it's explained to them.

Incidentally, a few of you who are reading this post are actors. You're in the ideal scene when it comes to this, because you'll never find any bunch of people more accepting and admiring of sexual kinkiness than actors. I'm not saying most of them have fetishes, but I'm definitely saying that the overwhelming majority of actors I know are very familiar and very comfortable with it all. Having spent tons of time in theatrical circles, I say this from direct experience. The woman I mentioned about who said "That's so cool" is an actress. I even gave her armpit a little tickle on her birthday last year; she let out the cutest yelp.

 

[Red_Feather]

The thing is, I still see myself as an 'average' person. Just because I have an added extra to my sexuality doesn't somehow set me apart from the general human population.

I think if you treat your 'interests' in this way, people are much more open about them. A lot of the time, people will only think it's weird if you think it's weird. 😛

 

[ViperGTS]

I have NEVER known a woman who didn't like to be tickled - to a point. It only qualifies as kinky if it's something that doesn't piss her off during sexual activity...but generally when a girl starts getting tickled a little bit in the middle of a great orgasm, she tends to not mind too much, lol.

 

[Red_Feather]

Well I also think that tickling is on something of a scale. If it's done lightly enough during intimacy then its 'erotic touching'... I just think it differs as to how far up the scale different women like to go. 😉

 

[mrmiguu]

Yeah, I hear you....

....and I put my vote with Bella and Milagros....thanks for voicing the "so what?" issue!....and thank you, WorkInProgress (partner and I are both actors/performers!).

One of our main community challenges is to decrease the ways we keep responding to outside pressures or ideas or concerns about our "heathen" ways and move forward bravely together, laughing all the way. Keep in mind...tickling is actually something ALOT of people might need or could REALLY use a dose of...it's good preventative medicine and keeps us healthy in so many ways, mental, physical, spiritual...we are on solid human, ethical, sexual, sensual ground....even if we do need some cuffs and ropes and implements of torture to keep from fish-flippin' right off that ground! 🙄

Let's stop worrying about "thems folks" and support us, the ones we know are "believers" and keep ourselves strong. In that interest, Tickle New England! has become a labor of love on behalf of anyone who finds tickling important to them in any way....I do something in the interest of our growing community EVERY day and love that we have the ability to support our community in real and powerful ways...thanks to their openness and humanity. We are actually seeking teaching and workshop opportunities so that we can show people what it is and bring more people into the fold in their own way...and that we had 50 people fully engaged and interested at a BDSM event (and we KNOW how alot of the hardcore BDSM folks shuddder at the thought of being tickled!), was a major thing - and we weren't the first ones to present a tickle demo there...but we will surely be the next!....the possibilities are ticklishly endless in this regard. We are making headway all the time........AAAAAAAAAAAAAAND my partner just told two of our good friends about tickling and they are completely into exploring it. Good things happen every day....every ding-dong-dang, freakin', flippin' day!

Thank the tickle-goddesses and -gods for THAT!



Peace to all who tickle here,

 

[Lea28]

OK, let me help please...

As most on here are aware from my past posts, I asked many female snail mail pen pals "The Question" before I joined the TMF. This was from 1996 to 2002. Of the about fifty answers that myself, and my late pen pal/friend Don received, I can recall only about one or two saying they enjoyed being tickled. The other females confessed their ticklishness, but most of them said they hated to be tickled.

While we might not care what other people think, I want to do some analysis here: I think, that the "average" person hates to be tickled, because, it has probably always been inflicted on them, in some non consensual way, of an older sibling, or even significant other, holding them down, and tickling the daylights out of them. It was done to be playful, or to annoy, or to have power and control, in a bad way. A better way might have been to discuss it with them, and to introduce the tickling slowly. I think, that most vanillas dont think of it this way, because its more a fleeding playful thing to them, then the sexual thing it is to those of us who are into tickling.

I know very few average people who actually enjoy being tickled. That being said, this is why we have our own special community. It is just like every other interest, from feet, to other fetishes. As long as we are comfortable with ourselves, and within our community, and have friends who share our common interest, that is all that is important. As to what others think, well, differing opinions is what makes the world go round.

Mitch

Of course women will say they hate to be tickled; it makes us helpless. On the other hand, I have no girl friend that does not love her feet kissed, toes sucked, and if a guy is smooth enough to stroke a woman during this, on her feet or along her side, legs, et cetera, I promise you will get a very different response... reaction.

Asking is risky... guys, go for it!

A guy was rubbing my waist very discreetly last Sat night in a bar; he was discreet, we were with others, and he was physically flirting and obviously checking to see if I would become horny... this is one of my incredible HOT spots... and I was getting aroused. He did not ask, he experimented in a cute and pretty harmless way... we had been talking for a few hours.

I never flinched! he continued, I still did not flinch. Then he said "not ticklish ha" so I leaned into him and whispered in his ear "FEET darling."

I thought he would pass out...

All for now...

Lea

 

[Andromalius]

It wouldn't be as "creepy" to people if we stopped treating it like a fetish. I'm fairly open to people about this. I'm not ashamed of it, and it has done me well. Don't go around with a sign saying "I have a foot fetish", but don't be ashamed of it.

 

[adrun]

I have NEVER known a woman who didn't like to be tickled - to a point. It only qualifies as kinky if it's something that doesn't piss her off during sexual activity...but generally when a girl starts getting tickled a little bit in the middle of a great orgasm, she tends to not mind too much, lol.

I agree with viper in that i've never known a woman who didn't enjoy a light stroking touch on their side, belly, or back that tickled just enough to make them squirm. I think light tickling is erotic for everyone. what separates a true lee from the average person is enjoyment of a more torturous tickling. a lot of the same women who enjoy the light, sensual touch, get a little less friendly when i've taken it to the next level.

 

[Dandy Jack]

Many people

I have over six years experience as a sadomasochist. I was raised in the life by a dear friend of mine who was a proDomina. When I first started communicating with my Love, he told me he was into tickling and attended gatherings. I giggled when I read it. I thought it was cute...

But I remember the first time we were together and he ran his fingers along my side, finding those spots. OMG! I squirmed and giggled and was incredibly turned on, not just by the different, intense sensation, but also by how he reacted to my reactions. I was hooked.

The point is, that even within the alternative lifestyles, this view that "my kink is better than yours" still exists. I see it every day as I mentor others and blog online. The key to living healthy and happily is keeping an open mind, understanding there are many ways, and not letting the vanillas drag you down with their perception of right and wrong. I have spoken to many people who have repressed who they are because of this. My Love and I included. It is sad to have to cage y our desires to please others.

Your needs should be your first priority. Not appeasing some one who judges you.

that I have met consider tickling to be weird. I visit places like Passive Arts in Los Angeles to satisfy my tickling desires. Because so called normal people look at tickling as something strange I can only have limited access to acceptable tickling. It is usually a paid for situation. Also on a time clock.

I do not care what others think... but I do not tell everyone about the fetish. That's because everyone cannot handle it.

Some of you are very lucky to have people in your lives that can relate and share your love and passion for tickling.

That has not been my life experience. The TMF makes me feel more at home than any other place.

Dandy Jack

 

[asutickler]

lol, it could be way, WAY worse. Imagine, for example, having to tell your significant other that you're going to need to hit them in the face with a pie before you'll be able to get it up... 😱

 

[mrmiguu]

Just because Andromalius might have said it best!...

It wouldn't be as "creepy" to people if we stopped treating it like a fetish. I'm fairly open to people about this. I'm not ashamed of it, and it has done me well. Don't go around with a sign saying "I have a foot fetish", but don't be ashamed of it.

So THERE....!!!

And LEA: You GO, tickle-girl!!!!!!😉

 

[ticklebutterfly]

in my opinion

your view of tickling comes from how you've been brought up.
none of my friends and me have ever properly tickled each other and we don't talk about it.
the only time we've ever mentioned being tickled in the last 3 years in my friend mentioning in passing her boyfriend tickling her till she cried.
i've never been in an environment where people tickle each other alot and it was never done that much in my household. average of twice a year as i grew up and that was about it.
which makes me pretty secretive bout tickling so i don't mention it at all to my average friends. (at least i think they're average!)

i think i might become more open as i get more confident with it but as far as talking bout it with my average friends. i doubt they'd appreciate it... unless they got a secret the same as mine!

 

[Headsnap]

This will probably sound awfully curmudgeony (yes that's a word dammit 😎)

You'll find it's "curmudgeonly", sirs!

but I care less and less about what the 'average' person thinks as time goes by. Whatever you like, from tickling to vegetarianism to Family Guy, there's somebody-actually a ton of somebodies-who thinks you're a nut. So be it.

Best. Advice. Evaire. If anyone's ever seen Devil's Advocate, remember the speech Al Pacino's Satan gives towards the end of the film about how the Christian conscience is like a bag of bricks and just putting it down will set you free. I see popular opinion the same way. It's a bag of bricks you carry that hinders your ability to do and say stuff and be the person you're supposed to be, and you carry it for nobody. Putting it down isn't necessarily as easy as putting down an actual bag of bricks, but as you get older you'll find that your back gets weaker and thus your ability to continue carrying that fucking bag of bricks gets less and less, particularly if you have a facet to your person that is considered strange by popular opinion. Such as being a tickle fetishist. Or a scouser.

/Rant. To answer your question, average people think tickling is annoying but fun for a minute in a 'normal' way. If it's sexual there's something wrong with you, because only 'regular' sexual acts are supposed to be sexual. The average people are missing out on a lot 😉

I don't think that's necessarily the case, that you have to have a full-blown tickle fetish to enjoy being tickled. Yeah maybe in the case of "I am the insane doctor and you are tied up to be tickled for my experiementations!" type of tickling, but find me a woman who doesn't enjoy having fingers brushing gently against the inside of her thighs and I'll give you a prize. It might even be a good one too. Same with domination; you don't have to be a "Master-Man" type to enjoy having a woman act submissively towards you, and not all women who act submissively would consider themselves "subs". Some of the more tangental fetishes like being spat on and eating corpses and stuff probably do require an aberrant mentality to be enjoyed, but I wouldn't class tickling as particularly tangental or aberrant. It's just physical contact after all.

As my old dad used to say... "Put that fucking hubcap back you little bastard".