The Nightmare Of Nessie (bwaaaaah!!)

[alchemy1]

...the voice of Alchemy who yells "Take your hands off of them you damn dirty apes!" The angered monkeys forget their captives and rush Alchemy hoping to tear him limb from limb for his disrespectful remark. Just as they are almost upon him, Alchemy produces a banana out of his pocket and dangles it in front of the coming simian onslaught. The monkeys seeing the banana lose all interest in everything else...and just as they are about to reach for it, Alchemy throws it out the open window. A scream of horror errupts from the gaggle of monkeys as one by one they jump out of the window after the falling banana. They all fall to their deaths. Alchemy then picks up the forgotten soniccare brush, gives both bound Nessies an evil look, and turns to everyone else in the room and says....


(I know I know, but hey, I gotta be the hero once in a while)

 

[Ignatz]

..."I bet you didn't know that a clone's voice automatically harmonizes with its source!" To demonstrate, he goes to work on all four feet, and the two Nessies laugh a wordless soprano/alto version of "Inna Gadda da Vida" (which we all know is Latin for "Dear God! Not there!") The neighbors are attracted by the sound and the impromptu recital burgeons into a hellacious block party. CD has to hijack another beer truck, GT puts more soup on, the Nessies are miked and amplified and Alchemy plays his heart out until someone taps him on the shoulder and says, "May I sit in, mate?" To his astonishment, it's none other than....

 

[Yet_One_More_Idiot]

Some really random guy who walked in off the street, holding a keyboard. He drops the keyboard, pulls out some feathers, and proceeds to tickle Ness as if he was playing a xylophone.
Meanwhile, the only person who lived on the block and hadn't been invited to the block party plans his revenge by...

 

[nessonite1]

...drawing a picture of himself sitting on a throne with everyone else bowing down before him. When he's done he sits in his chair and sulks. Eventually he....

 

[Cbarton]

Jaynin walks in. He looks around and sees Nesssie's feet as the opportunity of a liftime. He freezes, unsure where to begin when he is knock unconcious by HDS using a....

 

[nessonite1]

You totally didnt continue from mine, KY! 😛

 

[GEORGIATKLER]

MONKEYS & NESSIES AND GOATS, OH! MY!............

*eventually He....* Can't Resist The Allure Of The Ness&ness. Thinking The Clone Is Nessie's Actual Identical Twin, The Man Reveals Himself(don't Look Nessle!) To Be The Casting Director For The Doublement Chewing Gum Ads. ( Once Jilted By She-devil On A Blind Date) He Offers Ness A Lowball Offer, Thinking He Can "persuade" Those Lovely Wrinkled Soles To Accept. Gt Now Realizes That The Ape Swat Team(banana Clips In Their Ak-47's Of Course) In Their Haste To Arrive Forgot About The Four Goats Still In Their Truck. Gt Brings The Four Raspy Tongues( Ok, Five Counting Gt) And Some Of The High Sodium( Ie Salty) Soup Into Ness's Room. Then All Of A Sudden.............................

 

[-Kunoke-]

...a lone chimp crawls through the window. Alchemy yells in frustration, and throws a sonicare at the monkey, hitting him square between the eyes, and the monkey howled his monkey howl, falling out the window again and splatting on the ground. Then, he turned to the guy who hadn't been invited, and said, "Alright, give the goats their meal" The guy walks over...

 

[Yet_One_More_Idiot]

and Nessie kicks him in the chin - those ropes weren't tied very well, and she's had time to loosen them, too - before escaping and locking some other poor sod in a conveniently nearby-placed set of stocks.

That poor sod turns out to be me. I open my mouth to plead for mercy, but all that comes out is...

 

[nessonite1]

...a pathetic little squeak....

 

[CellarDweller]

as he realizes that cellardweller has returned with the beer. He really wanted one, but now sees that he's traped and can't get to one.

CellarDweller sees that a man has been trapped and is prepared to be tickled. He opens a beer and is set to watch the fun.....

 

[Yet_One_More_Idiot]

...when the Crazy Frog™ inexplicably appears and begins adding his usual brand of "musical" accompaniment to the proceedings:

A ding ding ding ding dididing ding bing bing pscht,
Dorhrm bom bom bedom bem bom bedom bom bum ba ba bom bom,
Bouuuuum bom bom bedahm, Bom be barbedarm bedabedabedabeda
Bbrrrrrimm bbrrrrramm bbbrrrrrrrrraammmmm ddddddraammm,
Bah bah baah baah ba wheeeeeee-eeeee-eeeee!

😛

Koopa screams and tries to cover his ears, before realising that his arms are also chained up, and he is completely immobile.

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRFFFFFFFFFFFFGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHH!!! :weird:

 

[CellarDweller]

Cellardweller watches Koopa, and starts to laugh, he has such a look of horror on his face. The frog jumps out the window, and CD advances on KC. KC's eyes widen, fearing that he is in for a tickling. While there is quite the temptation, CD surprises him by placing a bottle of beer on a nearby table, and producing a long straw for him to drink the beer with. After seeing him suffer with the frog, CD feels mercy for him, and turns and walks away.

Not that much mercy, to get the idea to let KC free. He wants to see if the poor guy actually gets tickled.

Suddenly, there is a small commotion in the far corner of the room.....

 

[GEORGIATKLER]

What Do You Mean Ness Escaped??????????????????

This Is Gt Trying To Keep The Goats From Eating The Soup. Gt Fights Man And Beast And Finally Covers The Lovely Wrinkled Soles Of The Ness Clone With The Jewish Penicillin Goat Magnet Broth. To Gt's Horror, Those Lovely Feet Emit A (golden) Shower Of Sparks ,while A Computer Chip Voice Cries "that Tickles!, System Failure"!! The Ness X 2 Is Really A Tmf Spy Droid, Sent To Turn The Men Of Tt Into Monkeys( Wait Hasn't The Real Ness Already Done That?) Crying His Motto "carpe Peds", Gt Attempts To Suck The Droids Toes( The Boy Ain't Too Smart!!) But He's Bright Alright As The Electric Shock Knocks Gt Over Two Goats. Through Blurred Vision Gt Sees.....

 

[F.L. Atlanta 10]

A spring loaded boxing glove coming right at his face. The glove hits GT in the face. As I enter the Chaotic Room, I say, "Long Live Chaos!" *throws confetti everywhere* Btw: Has anyone see the ...

 

[Hue]

the nuclear powered toothbrush! I start to tickle the toes of one of the Nessie's. Gets hit on the head by a ...

 

[nessonite1]

...monkey who is flying around in obvious distress.

Nessie corners the monkey and tries to see what's wrong. Nessie recognizes it as labor pains and orders hot water and towels.

After giving the dog a bath she tends to the monkey.

The monkey presently gives birth.

"OMG!" says nessie "I know who the father is! This baby looks just like............

 

[Ignatz]

....Ignatz! Nessie confronts him and he 'fesses up. "I couldn't help it. I went ape over her and we made hot monkey love. But it wasn't just orangpoontang I was after. She really is the gorilla my dreams, not like those cheap chimpies who do it with you for a handful of Rhesus pieces. And is she passionate! She's a howler monkey! I couldn't lemur if I tried." Realizing that he could continue in this vein for hours, Nessie puts him out of everyone's misery with...what else?...a monkey wrench upside his head. His dying words are....

 

[Yet_One_More_Idiot]

..."Oh no, not again", as he turns into a bowl of geraniums and goes hurtling out of the window. (Sorry, couldn't resist the Hitchhiker's ref).

Meanwhile, the obligatory sperm whale (see above ref.) has landed rather heavily on top of....

 

[Hue]

... koopacooper's lower body. Regains senses and ducks as a ...

 

[nessonite1]

(That would be petunias, love. I hate geraniums... 😛)

 

[Yet_One_More_Idiot]

Oh crap, so it would be. 🙂 My brain is a bit scrambled at the moment from all the betting knowledge that is being crammed into it at work...