Respecting the models and earning their trust is of utmost importance. Now, Skelyrata has explained the situation to me, and as far as what goes on between him and Lexi Lee, it's actually fine.
Kind of what many of us though already? Using both our past experience and reasonable mind instead of just the emotional part? Really? Well! Imagine, some of us being right and knowing what we are talking about and trusting Skelyrata to make the right choices to begin with. Examining what the bigger picture could ACTUALLY be between consenting adults RATHER than the narrow view of how things “should” that many people seemed to have here in this thread, or automatically assuming the worst in someone who has been on the TMF for years as a video producer. It’s fine? Thank goodness I was on the right side the whole time - I was beginning to doubt it myself.
But you can't blame people for raising an eyebrow when they read a claim about a safety word being ignored.
I can, if they believe everything they read on the internet as being the absolute truth & then get pants-wettingly over-reactive about it with a video producer who has generally shown himself to be a responsible person in the past. Perhaps they should try to get more info, or work things out in their mind before typing out their cyber-stoning, or just let their reservations be known without getting so frantic. Send a PM and see what’s what, since that’s obviously what happened between you and Skel. Anyone can do this.
It might just be for publicity, but as a producer myself, I think it's important that potential models understand that when safewords are used, they're usually respected.
She’s been in other videos, pointed out before I even made my post. So I’m betting she knows the score.
Also, not all models are into BDSM. In fact, very few of mine are. Most of my models are just ordinary people with little or no experience with fetish stuff. .
I know - your mother/daughter video is one of the best videos ever, and my favorite of your series. And mom didn't seem to care at all if daughter had had enough or not - she just kept going, and you helped, even writing that you felt kind of bad but went ahead and continued anyway because mom was so into it. Now I’m looking at this situation only by what was presented to the public, having no knowledge of what went on behind the scenes during negotiations & directing….. but the fact that in your production a safe word apparently wasn’t brought up - even if only for all participants to agree to ignore it - involving people who are not experienced in fetish play, is a serious issue, too. That's closer to a health risk or exploitation that what Skel did here. I love that mom/daughter video so much I'd like to see some follow-up sequel type of videos made with those two participants (and the daughter’s friend who was underage at the time & couldn’t be video-ed) . Except those sequels will probably never happen since according to your site the daughter decided that she would never do such a video again after being in one of your productions. So Skelrata using a bondage model clearly with experience and trying something new (ignoring a safe word, which they both could have negotiated and agreed to since Skel seems to be an up-and-up individual, you know, for a fetish pervert) or getting non-BDSM players (who could really use a safe word) and wearing them out to the point of permanent trauma…. I gotta side with Skel. Not Guilty!
Doing a fetish video is actually quite a wild, adventurous experience for them, and not something they're likely to repeat very often, if at all. Not to mention that my shoots have almost nothing to do with BDSM. So you can't apply BDSM practices to them and ….
We aren’t talking about your videos, at least on the original topic. We are talking about Skel’s videos and using the culture of BDSM as the backdrop of the discussion
Why are they not likely to repeat the experience very often? Because of what happened to them? That makes me wonder. I have non-fetish friends I’ve introduced tickling to - with restraints in some cases. They now use that in their private play because it was such a joyful experience overall even though it may have been difficult to take in a few moments here and there. They may never do a video, but they aren’t giving up tickling with bondage any time soon. I know Twin Feather Studios is about to shoot their second video with a model who had never done bondage/tickling before TFS. It’s not her style, not her thing - but she came back. . Maybe it’s how people are treated which dictates whether they go back to tickling with bondage or leave it alone forever.
Plus, if there are restraints involved, and there’s a clear differential of power, while a physical stimulus is being applied which is difficult to withstand, that’s BDSM.
If the tickler/dom/etc. doesn't want to stop when a safeword is used, then the arrangement should be "no safewords".
Why? When did that become the only choice?
Or -- the dom could used the tiered system, or respond to a hand signal with the “ignored safeword” idea used for dramatic effect for the viewer (this is adult entertainment/fantasy after all). Or they could have already agreed beforehand - both parties, responsible adults all - to bring up the safe word only to ignore it because it then makes the scene more about the control issue between the two players (and seems more sadistically dramatic for the viewing audience). Trust is maintained. And good drama created for the viewer.
Or some other things I haven’t thought of here. It doesn’t only have to be THIS - or THAT.
I don’t like to use safe words when I’m under the ropes because I know I’m such a wimp I’ll blurt one out in a panic. I hate that panicky feeling, but often, when it is all over, that is exactly what I needed. It’s like getting an injection at the Dr.s office - it feels bad, but it turns out it keeps you feeling great overall. I want to be challenged and taken further than I think I can, so when I play as a sub I try to figure with the play partner out how I can avoid a safe word meltdown while still being safe. So let’s apply this to the topic: An experienced model like Lexy is probably familiar with this concept to some degree. I don’t see any evidence that she was betrayed in this video, just that a safe word was ignored. That was part of the scene. All scenes are different.
Fact, pwned, win-win-win, daisy-pushed, whatever slang these days that passes for being right and being cool at the same time.
Sometimes, even when it looks weird and not how we‘d play, people know what they are doing. Why so serious?
