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The Self Referential Thread

I am picking up something here in the Church. It cant be a demon though they would not venture into a place this holy. Keep all stations on Yellow Alert.

😀 😀 😛
 
*Reminded of bananas by the alert color, HDS has one.* Something is indeed here...it's coming closer...closer... *Moves towards one corner of the church* I feel it...closer...
 
Hello Kurchatovium

*Kurch sees a large winged creature by the Altar at the head main part of the church.*

kurchatovium: Hello who might you be.

Names at this point are largely unimportant but my name is Ulrial.

kurchatovium: Hmmmm that is a familiar name dont work with THE HIGH COUNCIL.

Ulrial: Yes I do or did at least. Let me explain. I have grown tired of all the service here. Tired of all endless tasks. I have decided to end my existence and hepl the one true power. The power that is Methrobium.

kurchatovium: I see well that sounds not very "Angelic" if you ask me.

Ulrial: No indeed it is not. By the way your priestly spells are useless against me and the church is wired with a very large amount of Void Explosives enough to take out you and the armada.

kurchatovium: A very good stragey I must say but why not just blow everything up before I released the souls from The Well Of Souls.

Ulrial: Thank you. Well that object has considerable power as you saw no doubt. If I destroyed everything before likely all of heaven would be destroyed and also destroy much of our own forces. This way I only takeout myself and you and your armada.

kurchatovium: Interesting. I suppose we could still fight.

Ulrial: True but then we would both just get sweaty and the bombs would still just go off by the time you could actually destroy me. I also have cast a stasis spell on this area so as long as I am around nothing can leave or enter.

kurchatovium: Quite the conundrum.

Ulrial: Indeed it is. You only have about ten minutes for a solution.

kurchatovium: Oh I have a solution.

Ulrial: Really?

kurchatovium: Yes really. It was staring me right in the face. Luckily I always keep my eyes open.

Ulrial: I dont understand.

kurchatovium: You wouldn't since you have lost your Faith. Let me show you.....
 
When one's survival is at stake, interest isn't the half of it, I'd say. Drink before we die or are saved? *Holds out a tray* 😀
 
Thank you, HDS. 😀 😛 *takes a shot glass full of Lagavulin from the tray*
 
*kurch cast one of the simplest priests spells known to any priest. Even many low order priests can cast this spell. The spell is known as Quake. As soon as the spell is cast the Church begins to shake violently.*

Ulrial: Really kurchatovium did you think A silly spell like quake qoud hurt me. I thought you would have had a better plan.

kurchatovium: Patience my fallen angel. Patience.

*the church tremors become more and more violent and soon the giant cross starts to loosen and become unstable.*

kurchatovium: Ulrial. Do you know the definition of the word "irony"?

Ulrial: Not off hand no.

kurchatovium: The definiton should cross your mind in about five seconds.

Ulrial: What???

*the large cross weighing thousands of metric tons crashes onto Ulrial literally crucifying him and crushing him. Ulrial is dying quickly.*

Ulrial: How did you know the cross would land the way it did? It was a a million to one it would land just right. How could you have known????

kurchatovium: Simple. I had faith. Goodbye Ulrial. We have to leave.

Ok everyone we got like 7 minutes to clear out before this place blows. Lets get the HELL outta here. (sorry for the mixed metaphor.)
 
HDS can you help us guide our ships outta here. We need to put all these ships into overdrive fast. Any help you can offer wuld be greatly appreciated seeing as none of us want to be blown into non-existence. 😀 😀 😛
 
7 minutes isn't very long. 😀 😛
*rapidly evacuates from the perimeter of the church*
 
*teleports back to his ship.*

Ok everyone all ships at full drive at full speed. As they say back on Earth. FLOOR IT!!!
 
Bah. I hate to use this this technique as it hurts the next day, but whatever. *Chants softly. In an instant, the entire fleet, troops and all, from Mils and Kurch to the largest vessel, is shrunk to the size of an atom. Calling the tiny fleet to him, HDS swallows the lot. Grumbling, he morphs into a black cloud of darkness and melds into the ground, fleeing far faster than any ship can fly through the earth itself, popping out at Earth, somehow. Summoning the fleet from within him, he resizes the lot and restores them to normal*

Sorry about the swallowing, but the only way I can move others that quickly is to take them within me. 😀 'Course, it'll make me sick tomorrow using that. Only works on allies, too, as enemies would shoot me insides to bits. 😀
 
Thanks, HDS, that was even faster than our ships could have gone themselves. 😀 😛
 
Only a small portion unfortunately we could not have escaped in time to save ourselves.

Can you take us back to Heaven now HDS? We have lots of unfinshed business there. 😀 😀 😛
 
I can, but I think I'll need the POST to revive me after this. HDS isn't suppose to do this more than once per Earth day.

*Repeats his chant and swallows up the armada. Flows through the essense of the cosmos at the speed of shadow and pops back out in a rather scene of destruction. Reforms the forces, looks about at the remnants of the church, and promptly keels over and dies.* 😀
 
Certainly is. We still have much to do though. Methrobium now, no doubt thinks we are dead. We can use this to our advantage. 😀 😀 😛
 
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