The shame of being into tickling

[brotherted]

The main times I've felt what I'd call shame was when people have directly said things to my face. I was once with an extremely attractive lover who straight up told me in so many words that wanting to tickle her was weird and stupid. (Incidentally, this was someone who wanted to be choked during sex.)

But that's also because, as has been debated endlessly here, I choose to share tickling with people selectively. And then when I do, I introduce it gradually rather than via a deep, dark, serious, "fetish reveal" which I believe can unnecessarily scare people off. I believe this gradual approach better allows normies to see it in context as one of the things I like to do, rather than as some scary perversion. I think the gradual and understated approach produces less of this disapproval.

 

[maniactickler]

I find it a totally embarrassing fetish. i wouldnt want anyone to know about it.

 

[Libertine]

The main times I've felt what I'd call shame was when people have directly said things to my face. I was once with an extremely attractive lover who straight up told me in so many words that wanting to tickle her was weird and stupid. (Incidentally, this was someone who wanted to be choked during sex.)

But that's also because, as has been debated endlessly here, I choose to share tickling with people selectively. And then when I do, I introduce it gradually rather than via a deep, dark, serious, "fetish reveal" which I believe can unnecessarily scare people off. I believe this gradual approach better allows normies to see it in context as one of the things I like to do, rather than as some scary perversion. I think the gradual and understated approach produces less of this disapproval.

Absolutely. I've never bothered telling male friends, because my sexual interests only involve women. And you're quite right, brotherted; a gradual reveal has always been my approach, introduced gently during foreplay without any ' deep, dark, serious, "fetish reveal"'- you phrased that brilliantly.

And truth to tell sometimes they've found it annoying, and stopped me.

However, in my experience many a woman who originally hated the thought of it has actually enjoyed it very much, and told me so afterwards. And during...

 

[duderino84]

if you have ever felt any kind of shame about being into tickling how has this changed over your life ? cause I felt like it was just a normal thing everyone liked up to about 9 then realized it was weird af and got super private about it due to shame then at about 13 when I started doing tickle tortures with a group of us I felt pretty ok about it for a while. Then about 19 I felt the shame again which gradually has gone down a bit since then.
But still never told anyone fully irl

what are your experiences of it and were yours different?

I use to have major panicks someone would find out or see my search history etc

So when I was younger I had other fetishes aside from tickling. That and I guess the fact I got bullied as a kid made me recluse. I started dating and thinking things would have deep meaning if I had a chance to date and I'd stupidly open up with people (online dating of course), which led to a lot of trial and error; to top this off I had a lot of friends that were socially inept, it would be no surprise I didn't have game.

I did music etc but that's just like creative pow wow shit.

Over the years I guess I improved, had a few relationships. They all failed. For one, I don't want to settle down any time soon if I always lived a socially impoverished life. Which is a deal breaker for a lot of women living in their agenda for having a family etc. I just can't really see myself trusting anyone in that manner. I've met similar friends who I get along with but over the years I've lost interest in tickling. The truth is, I liked being weird. And I found out that based on some people's experiences that they've shared with me, I'm not really that odd to begin with.

Having a dad bod, having these relationship experiences formed now with the clear objective background reasoning plainly in sight, most thoughts about dating turn me off.

So I'm not really ashamed of being into tickling, in hindsight, despite what social defect would indicate. I'm just plain ashamed of myself. I could have had a life/ kids if I weren't so rigid.

 

[Dark Crane]

As a child and teenager, I was happy to be able to have this kind of secret pleasure without anyone actually knowing about it and thinking it was all just a joke...

The only thing that bothered me a lot about this was when I started having sex and I failed. I thought it was my fault and that I would never get it because of my fetish, I thought I was incapable of it...

But now I see that it was much more a matter of sexual immaturity than anything else. After all, I always wanted to have sex. A woman who is ticklish becomes a million times more attractive to me and I want her so much more. So, I don't think it's something to be ashamed of, just something that adds an extra something to your sex life...

 

[AKF99]

My tickle fetish is primarily connected to a foot fetish and I've always done my best to keep it private because anytime it may have slipped out to anyone, I'd be teased, made fun of and felt the risk of being labeled a 'weirdo'. I still feel uncomfortable discussing or acknowledging it around peers, family and friends.

Sadly, I even feel like I'm at risk of being viewed as 'strange' among other ticklephiles and foot fetishists. I love tickling pretty feet of pretty women, but prefer seeing pretty women tickle each other's bare feet. In particular, I always orchestrated scenarios where my female friends would tickle my sister's feet (as well as one another's feet) and everyone jumps to conclusions that I'm a pervert, including other foot and tickle fans. It blows my mind and disappoints me that I often feel uncomfortable amongst a group of people who share similar (and often unconventional interests). It's like being judged in what should be a judge free zone. So if I feel I could be judged by ticklephiles and foot lovers, than I definitely can't be open to non foot/non tickle people.

I'm the same. My tickle fetish stemmed directly from my foot fetish. I literally had the Persona "I am thou" moment once I realized it.

Also, because I have this fetish, I absolutely hate it when the word "tickle" is used outside of the fetish world. Be it referring to the action or as a metaphor (for example: "it tickles me whenever she says so and so..."), I just can't stand it. It's like they know my weak spot.

 

[laughtermech]

if you have ever felt any kind of shame about being into tickling how has this changed over your life ? cause I felt like it was just a normal thing everyone liked up to about 9 then realized it was weird af and got super private about it due to shame then at about 13 when I started doing tickle tortures with a group of us I felt pretty ok about it for a while. Then about 19 I felt the shame again which gradually has gone down a bit since then.
But still never told anyone fully irl

what are your experiences of it and were yours different?

I use to have major panicks someone would find out or see my search history etc

Just read thru this entire thread of responses to a very good question about shame posed by natscott6282 (I’m having flashbacks to Back To The Future and Doc saying your name like he voiced ‘Great SCOTT, Marty!’ LOL). Seriously though, thank you, NatScott! Really appreciate you putting this topic out there as you’ve seen in the responses there is ALOT of shame to go around with our fetish here.

I definitely have my fair share as well. I have to work on it everyday. I am working on it as I type this message. I continually have to remind myself that I belong here. That we all belong here. That we owe it to ourselves to treat ourselves with kindness and compassion and to try and do the same to others. That would be my big ask in this forum thread for those feeling ashamed and possibly hopeless, to take a step back, take a deep breath, and realize that you belong here. We all do. And we can all practice more kindness towards ourselves today and always. And, in that spirit, we can also just appreciate the vast variety of turn ons for humans and just come to peace with the fact that your turn ons with tickling are no less valid than another’s for being defecated on. That person that wants to be defecated on (-although it’s difficult for me to understand why they need such an act to turn them on) probably feels the same difficulty understanding why I get so turned on seeing another woman having her feet tickled. Again, my hope is that those of you feeling ashamed and hopeless can find solace that you’re not alone and that this kink for tickling is something to admire in your way and in your own time and with kindness and compassion toward yourself. Hang in there! Thanks for all the beautiful sharing and vulnerability. It’s definitely not easy, to borrow from a Kermit The Frog sentiment, it’s not easy being ‘tickled pink’ [instead of ‘green’] LOL.

Take good care of yourselves,
TLM

The Laughter Mechanic
https://thelaughtermechanic.wordpress.com

 

[FFT32]

Just with anything in life, we will all experience things differently, even commonly shared interests such as tickling.

I myself have never (fortunately thus far) experienced any shame for my love of tickling or my love of feet. I have had moments of apprehension and concern of being judged, but those were all mild and nothing close to causing shame or remorse. I am of the belief that how you handle yourself and how you behave can/will dictate how you come out of any situation where shame or embarrassment could be imposed or forced upon you.

For example, way back in high school when I was caught tickling a girls feet at a party, I didn’t experience what I would call shame. There were some teasing comments for sure, but I handed it like it was no different than if we were caught kissing or in bed with each other and I honestly believe that downplayed the whole thing which directly avoided me feeling or dealing with any shame.

In addition, I believe my reaction to being caught allowed the girl that I tickled to be relaxed and understanding about the whole thing. So much so that we shared other tickling experiences with each other. I even had tickling experiences with two other girls who were part of the group that caught me tickling the first girl at the party. So, I am a firm believer in how you carry yourself in any situation can dramatically affect how you are viewed, perceived and ultimately how you feel about any external judgmental comments and actions.

Enjoy the fetish my friends. It’s wonderful and anything worth enjoying is worth the effort to preserve said enjoyment!

 

[Fired]

I have never felt "shame" per se, but I do feel like I need to keep it very secret.

And while I agree that tickling is not as extreme as being into something like scat, it is something that more often than not evokes negative responses from people. This is also quite prevalent in BDSM and kink circles. They'll be all "YKINMK" but have no problem rubbishing tickling and anyone into it, which feels bad when that's your sole thing.

 

[GarnettRose]

I have always enjoyed it. Some of my earliest memories are of watching cartoons featuring it and feeling butterflies. As a kid and a young teen I never felt shame, but I did kinda keep it to myself because it was special and it was mine. I didn't start feeling shame until I was a teenager. I grew up in a super religious household (think speaking in tongues and seeing visions). This came with a lot of shame related to sex and can cause some really messed up kinks for a teenager to have.

Tickling has always been my primary interest. But when I was in highschool and my mother discovered, I as a teenager in fact did have a libido and did things about it. She would keep me in her room unable to leave until I told her what I fantasized about. She was the first person I told, and the only person other than my husband that I have told out loud.

Now, even at 27, I can't hear the word tickle being spoken without getting extremely nervous. I have been blessed with understanding partners that have allowed me to reframe that fear into an embarrassed fluster that they can dote on me for. But aside from my 2 partners I have had, I've only told a handful of friends (who were super understanding). Even then, they had to 20 question the name of the kink out of me.

 

[tickle_prince]

I mean for me, I never was a ashamed by it, at first I didn't really understand it, but I did sometimes think I was odd when I use to find myself tickle plotting against the babysitter that looked after me (honestly she was awesome and she took my tickle scheming in her stride lol)

But its only after attending a gathering back end of last year, that I changed to a switch, I think for me it was the worry of giving up that control, and I still only give up that control if I feel comfortable with a person, but I think it was the worry of doing that. But once I did that, it felt very liberating! 😀

 

[quinn65]

Man, this is an interesting thread. I picked up my fetish from the classic babysitter-pinned-by-her-friend-who-has-me-tickle-her-feet cliche at about the age of five, and it seems in retrospect to have evolved as just another part of who I am. I enjoy the challenge of competently restraining women for a good tickle, especially if they're strong-willed or authority figures, and especially but not exclusively on their feet. That all traces pretty clearly to the babysitter incident. I like it best when they're surprised (another sitter echo?) but also enjoy talking people into it. For me it can be a fun and non-sexual challenge or part of a massively sexual erotic romp. The latter case inevitably involves orgasm control.

I've never been embarrassed about it with friends, or with those who are becoming friends. I don't share it with family or work colleagues, because why would you? I suppose I might feel awkward if they found out, but whatevs.

I can't recall ever feeling specifically ashamed about it. I've known people who thought it was anything from weird to just quirky to inconsequential to deeply and profoundly intriguing. I'm not sure I've ever met another tickle fetishist, although I've known a few into BDSM more broadly. I've never joined a kink group or attended any kind of event. But of all the vanilla-to-kink-aware women I've ever approached with the idea, I'd say maybe 80% were willing to give bondage and tickling at least one try. And of the other 20%, only a handful were actively put off.

 

[Comfort Eagle]

Like 80% of my social circle knows, I don't give a shit anymore.

 

[OmahaTickler]

Shame connotes guilt or some level of self-hate, and for me, that's a no. I suspect this aspect is confused with those of us who remain closeted and simply assume that we're hiding it out of shame. In my case, I have issues with ridicule/rejection/ostracism/being labeled a pervert/degenerate/creep. You can call that personal insecurity or whatever, but not shame. I refuse to accept judgment from outsiders. I'm only comfortable taking incoming from those within the community because they're more likely to empathize.

 

[Bellylaughs]

Honestly I have no true shame about my relationship to tickling. I do know, however, that other people's' fears and traumas color their existence just as much as mine do, so I only share about it when I feel safe to, like in here. My close friends, who are varying types of kinksters themselves, know about it.

But no, no shame. ahem shame is the joy killer.

 

[ManInDistress]

I never felt shame. However, I did see it as a hinderance at one point.

It's hard enough to find a romantic partner you're compatible with, then you add the fetish into the equation and it could become far more difficult. Once I lost interest in ever having a romantic partner, then the fetish didn't bother me anymore.

Also, if you look at the other fetishes out there, you'll realize tickling isn't that bad.

 

[duderino84]

I don’t know why you say it became weird af at 9. Tickling between friends, especially those of the opposite sex in my experience, was never taboo among anyone I knew. It was generally playful revenge, teasing, or a way to flirt. Tickle torture seemed strange, though, especially the desire to be tickle tortured. I think as others have said, the internet has shown us that tickling isn’t a shameful or weird fetish, especially next to some of the others out there. I think it’s actually less “weird” than most fetishes - spanking, slapping, cock torture, pain, hot candle wax, golden showers… the list goes on.

The thing about the fetishes you consider weird is I feel like those are the ones people expect because they're pretty direct and explicit in what they are. Tickling and the types that have an interest in it are indirect and tend to explain it poorly to people.