The Paradox Of Needing Control And Having To Give It Away
TIB, you’ve stumbled into a strange paradox of tickling. In fact, there is a tendency for male ticklers to dismiss and diminish other male ticklers.
What ticklers crave is control, expressed in the tactile form of tickling. For us, control and pleasure (sexual or otherwise) are linked. So, more control equals more pleasure. Less control equals less pleasure. That’s one reason why so many fantasies skew toward the dark side and the intense. If tickling a woman for two minutes is fun, then tickling her for two hours will be a bunch more fun and tickling her for two days will be ecstasy. Most of us realize that such thinking is just brain candy. Few of us would every really go to such extremes in real life because we know the difference between fantasy and reality. Ben & Jerry’s ice cream is pretty good, too, but we know that gorging on it for two days would make us sick. If I had a food kink, however, I’m sure I could eat the stuff for weeks in my fantasies and never get indigestion.
Once we make the decision to buy a video of you tickling a Playmate instead of us tickling the Playmate, you’re on our bad side. We need control, and, from the git-go, we’ve had to hand that control over to you. That’s galling. As our surrogate, you can never do as well at the tickling as we could.
We can watch you doing the tickling and assess whether it is technically sound and effective. If we’re self confident, we can grant that you might do a good job. I’m sure that you do get many compliments of that nature, as well as technical critiques. But our need for control makes us believe we could do better, whether it's true or not. Add in a dash of machismo and a pinch of jealousy, and we’re pretty inclined not to like you, even though we may need you to create the experiences that we can’t or won’t.
If Pricilla got a sex change tomorrow and did all the tickling she does exactly the same, many of us would busting his/her chops. There are a lot of reasons why that shouldn’t be true, but the psychological stew of tickling often resists logic. Tell her not to do that, by the way. I don't want to get blamed for triggering some strange transformation.
I suspect you and Kathy knew much of this, and that’s the reason for the costume. The outfit should de-sex you a bit and make you less threatening and less of a target for criticism. Nice try, but it doesn’t work. We can still tell that you’re the alpha male in each tickling scenario, and since we would much rather be that alpha male ourselves, we don’t cut you any breaks due to the costume.
So, you really can’t win. Chase Brocco is the best tickler at FM, maybe the only decent tickler, but customers there complain about him, often insulting his looks. Of course, a male tickler’s looks don’t matter one little bit, but pointing out imperfections is a way to gain back some control. Those same customers also complain when the female models do really lame tickling. There’s no rule that we have to make sense.
We can’t REALLY be satisfied short of giving us what we want–the chance to do the tickling ourselves and gain the control and feel whatever rush that provides. With all that in mind, I’d recommend losing the mask. I can pretty many guarantee that some people will start criticizing your hair or your nose or your lack of a Kirk-Douglas dimple, but those of us who try to stay rational will gain something by seeing your face while you’re tickling.
Pricilla gives good face when she tickles. The arched eyebrows. The cruel smile. The look of satisfaction when the tickle victim squeals. The flicking tongue. Those all add to the experience for watchers. You could do the same.
We’re never going to really like you, remember. That’s too much to ask. But, we might as well dislike you for who you really are. Something to consider.
