The TMF and You

[Vanillaphant]

Hello, hello.

I was wondering about how people’s relationship with the forum has changed, and maybe continues to change with time.

Have you ever had any rocky spells with the forum – and what were the reasons behind them? Have you ever thought about quitting it? Or have you ever chosen to take a long break from the forum, for whatever reason?

And of course some members can go a long time without posting anything, and one naturally wonders if there’s a particular reason for it. Do they still keep up with what’s happening even though they're not posting? Do they just go through spells where they don’t give the TMF a second thought, maybe cos they’ve got other shit going on…? Who knows, who knows. It’s gonna be different for every person, obviously.

I just think it’s an interesting topic. Also, I’m nosey! 😀

Cheeyers!

 

[The Internet]

I joined the TMF the month it started but there have been stretches where I've been offline, sometimes for years. I never would stop thinking about it.......I'd often go to an internet cafe every couple of months just to catch up on what I'd been missing in the Mainstream section. I went back online last autumn but, other than quick dips into mainstream, pretty much stayed away. In January, I had an urge to make up for lost time and archive as much as my collection (and memories, and thoughts) as possible, lest I croak tomorrow. I don't know why or how I ended up posting so much in the Discussion forums, I never had any interest in them beforehand. Because of that, I've been way more social than I ever have. I always focused on the "media" aspect....as opposed to the "social media" part of it! Now it's a bit of both.

This year on the TMF has been great for me because a.) it has saved me a ton of money, I've been participating so much here and not going out, and when I don't go out, I don't spend money. That's something I desperately need to do right now in my life so it's been a big plus. b.) I think I've used it to get me through a time of grief and mourning. It's literally been a refuge. c.) I've made some great online friends, including members of the opposite sex, which has been fascinating and cathartic. It's only been this year that I've felt comfortable with this thing, and it is almost entirely because of these friends.

I definitely have invested a lot of myself in the TMF, both under my old account and this one, I never felt like a passive member. Conversely, I never had much interest in going to a gathering or meeting up, not sure exactly why that is, I certainly think it's great that such things exist and happen!

Anyways that's me and the TMF, Vanillaphant!

 

[duderino84]

Rocky spells. ...sure. I mean, this is the TMF. Only a select of people join and "get it". I discovered this place around 2003. It's changed a bit. I've changed a bit. Trying to work with people in and out of the forum. Um I kind of deleted a profile before after not really having the best experience with forums. A lot of forums I tend to join always tend to get caught up in debating. Normalizing is a word I'd use when I think of having fetishes with no sexual developmental background behind it, and I think it's a process that people go through. So I tried rebooting myself to try and keep it more normal.

I've had periods where I just wanted to focus on myself or periods where I just wanted to get my kink on and go. On occasion I have one of my argumentative periods and take a break. TMF is a hell of a place. Now if only I found a forum for my other kinks lol.

 

[Mrcool]

I joined the TMF the month it started but there have been stretches where I've been offline, sometimes for years. I never would stop thinking about it.......I'd often go to an internet cafe every couple of months just to catch up on what I'd been missing in the Mainstream section. I went back online last autumn but, other than quick dips into mainstream, pretty much stayed away. In January, I had an urge to make up for lost time and archive as much as my collection (and memories, and thoughts) as possible, lest I croak tomorrow. I don't know why or how I ended up posting so much in the Discussion forums, I never had any interest in them beforehand. Because of that, I've been way more social than I ever have. I always focused on the "media" aspect....as opposed to the "social media" part of it! Now it's a bit of both.

This year on the TMF has been great for me because a.) it has saved me a ton of money, I've been participating so much here and not going out, and when I don't go out, I don't spend money. That's something I desperately need to do right now in my life so it's been a big plus. b.) I think I've used it to get me through a time of grief and mourning. It's literally been a refuge. c.) I've made some great online friends, including members of the opposite sex, which has been fascinating and cathartic. It's only been this year that I've felt comfortable with this thing, and it is almost entirely because of these friends.

I definitely have invested a lot of myself in the TMF, both under my old account and this one, I never felt like a passive member. Conversely, I never had much interest in going to a gathering or meeting up, not sure exactly why that is, I certainly think it's great that such things exist and happen!

Anyways that's me and the TMF, Vanillaphant!

And if you did not come back you would not have met the coolest man alive ME
That is the true victory here

 

[ISUmark]

Ive been here since the beginning. Only time I ever left was during year long deployments were internet wasn't an option. Never really posted a lot in the beginning though, I like to pick and choose my battles. At first it was just the excitement of having this kind of place online, and of course being *cough*18 years old when the forum just started I was really only out for the material. Clips, pics, comics, you name it and I wanted it. But as with life, as I got older it was less about that and more about the community. It actually DID manage to turn into a community after a period of time. There was some drama with leadership in the beginning, and I like to think the end result and the people that took it over are responsible for the success that we see today. Along with the numerous other random contributors and mods(Chicago with the TMF radio for example). But alas as I'm dreadfully old now(34) I find myself more engaged in the discussions more then anything. Of course Ill browse the clip section once a day to see if any unicorns pop up, but otherwise the way I see this place has definitely changed over the past 15 years.

 

[Tamia78]

I joined a few years after it started. I think I was here when there was an actual community, and then a new and different community a few years later. It was amazing to finally be a part of something that I thought would be a secret for the rest of my life. And then I started meeting members of the forum. That totally changed my life. I was pretty active for a number of years. Then life happened, and I left because of a rocky spell with the forum for a few years. The forum is the forum. It's different for everyone, I think. Coming in tonight, I see that things (and people) have definitely changed.

 

[Sandisk444]

Well, I originally made the account to be a lurker (hence the stupid name) but after checking around the forums I started to notice that it was more of a community here than just a place for people to find "spank bank material". I tried to get involved but always felt like an outsider so I decided to just step away from the forum for a few years until I felt comfortable with myself and what I wanted from being here. I'd drop in here and there for a while but didn't really try to become a part of the community until about a year ago where I started to reach out to other members and try to start a conversation in the forums.

So by now... I'm still a bit of an outsider but it's comfortable? I feel like I have a place here, it's just not a place where many people will remember me if I take off again haha. I'm planning on attending a NEST at some point to meet some of you goofballs in person which would be nice but even there I worry about being too far on the outside.

 

[Vanillaphant]

Thanks for the replies for this, by the way. I was going to pick up on specific comments... And then I remembered I was too lazy for that lol. Interesting stuff, though.