Things you should never say to a police officer

[Mz Chaos]

I don't think this needs any explaination.

"If I wasn't so stoned... I would have seen you a lot sooner."

 

[Mastertank1]

true incident;

Lady I know is druving me someplace in Arizona while my bike is in the shop.
Arizona ranger car pulls us over, ranger gets out, comes to window, gives us lecture about driving with a bad tail light, says he'll let her off with a warning but...
She interrupts, says; "Now I suppose you're gonna sell us tickets to the Arizona Ranger's ball?"
He replies; "Ma'am, Arizona Rangers do not have balls."
I lean around her and ask;"Would you care to rephrase that?"
He says; "I meant to say we do not hold.... oh get the hell out of my sight, both of you!"
(Big s*** eating grin)

Mastertank1

We who play and dance are thought mad by they who hear no music.

 

[Mz Chaos]

When the officer says, "Gee son, your eyes are red. Have you been drinking?"
Think twice before responding with, "Gee officer, your eyes are glazed. Have you been eating doughnuts?"

 

[StockedAndGagged]

::turn to the person you're driving with::

you smell bacon?

::turn to cop::

oh. . .that explains it

CH

 

[Mz Chaos]

I'm sorry I was swerving so much, but I spilled my beer.

 

[FlockOfSeagulls]

I was on my cellphone talking to Miss T and she told me to drive with my knees and to keep both hands on the phone!!!

 

[milagros317]

The very worst thing you can say is "I hate you pigs." 😛

 

[Mz Chaos]

I was on my cellphone talking to Miss T and she told me to drive with my knees and to keep both hands on the phone!!!

I'm sorry officer but I was laughing so hard about Flock being pulled over that I just didn't see that pedestrian.

 

[FlockOfSeagulls]

officer did you see that lady with Washington plates and how her head stuck out of the sun roof , cause she was too tall for her car!

 

[Aragon]

An old guy who was neighbors with a coworker when he lived there had a cop come to the door about break ins in the area. While the cop waited for him to answer the door he stood there and looked around. There was a shed in the side yard. In the shade of it there were several pot plants growing there. As the guy was old and dying of cancer, they decided to just take the plants and told him they had better not see it again. His response was well, I'll hide it better next time.

 

[shooter]

" Suuuuuuure I'll get out of the car officer. Hold this beer for me, will ya?"

 

[Mz Chaos]

Excuse me officer... Flock told me that you guys aren't really pigs, cause pigs are cleaner.

 

[Strider]

"Hey pal, my taxes pay your salary."

 

[Mz Chaos]

Hey... you'd be speeding too if you knew your dealer had only one bag of reefer left.

 

[Strider]

Well of course I was speeding, how the hell else am I going to catch up with all the other cars?

 

[Aragon]

hey ossifer, did your parents have kids that lived?

 

[Mastertank1]

motorist

totally flying on amphetamines;

Speeding? Yeah, but how could you tell? I mustof passed yer squad car at 110!

Mastertank1

We who play and dance are thought mad by they who hear no music.

 

[HeavenlyTickle]

"Is that a baton in your pocket, or are you just pleased to see me?" 😉

 

[Mz Chaos]

"Hey Dude, you wanna smoke a joint while you fill out that ticket?"

 

[Mz Chaos]

That has got to be the most ridiculous uniform I have ever seen!

 

[shooter]

Do I get my body cavity search now??

 

[ticklishscribe]

What's with the handcuffs...

Are you with the bondage police?

 

[ticklishscribe]

I'm a heart surgeon...

Am I under cardiac arrest?

 

[Mz Chaos]

Aren't you the same asshole that pulled me over last month?

 

[german]

I would love to pull some of you over.............

Kust