Thoughts on age gap?

[worthlessidiot]

I dont think it matters if you are of similar maturity 🙂 i dont even think of the age gap much.

Ive been with guys in their 30s and what I found is that they are of the mindset to settle down and almost rush things whilst when you're in your 20s you do want to have a bit of fun and take your time. But it depends more on the person, i know some early 20 year olds who are very mature and know what they want.

If in doubt i would say go out with them a few times and see if you match up on values and maturity before deciding you want a relationship.

It also helps that, if they are older, they tend to act younger...sometimes younger than you. *cough* *cough*

 

[shygirl5]

I'm just about 36 and I have recently fallen in love with a guy on here who is 20 years older than me. I think a lot of it has to do with maturity...we've talked every day - many times a day (about EVERYTHING) since we first met here and we think along the same lines when it comes to this delightful fetish! We've enjoyed many wonderful tickle sessions together and even more fun is the amount of friends we've met together from TMF - and with whom we are very much so looking forward to arranging play sessions with in the future! 😉

 

[kcantankerous]

It also helps that, if they are older, they tend to act younger...sometimes younger than you. *cough* *cough*

Hello BooBear,

I don't want to derail, but I love the quote in your signature. I may have to steal it.

Thanks,

K

 

[Blue Soda]

Somewhat relatable, I currently date a guy 10 years younger than me. We even began dating when he was 18 years old (though when he initially caught my eye I figured he was a bit older.) While before that I never would have imagined dating someone so young, that particular dynamic worked out pretty well, and has continued to work for the past six years. That is not to say the age difference didn't cause some issues at times, or some judgement from others, but overall it has worked well for us, due largely to his maturity, our mutual interest (both sexual and otherwise) and a willingness on our part to step outside our comfort zone.

With that in mind, it probably doesn't hurt to be aware of the age gap in this instance, since some 18 year olds are not fully ready for a serious relationship. In my case, it was an evolving process, we were both just out for fun when we first started dating, and it eventually morphed into something more serious.

In any case, I hope everything works out for you!

 

[Rectangle]

Meh.
There's a six and a half year gap between me and my wife, and we're happily married with a child and have been together for years.
I'm 31 and she just turned 25.
When we started she was 19 and in college and I was 25.
She's still more mature than I am.


I know a couple personally that's happily married with a big family and there's a nine year age gap.

Once you're an adult, you're an adult. There hits a point where the whole "relating to the maturity level" thing evens out.
A 30 year old and a 40 year old aren't going to have some massive issues relating to each other.

And a 29 year old isn't guaranteed to be more mature than a 19 year old.
When I was 19 I was stomping through the desert making life or death decisions, accountable for over $100,000 dollars in issued equipment, treating sucking chest wounds and rinsing blood off of my hands with bottled water.
Come home and find people in their mid-twenties who have never even left the county we grew up in and who still live with their parents playing video games all day.

Maturity is relative.

I can't imagine a life without my daughter or my wife.
They both make my life infinitely better just by waking up each morning.
I wouldn't have had either of them if I had let the age difference stop me from talking to her back then.

Go for it man.

 

[chicago]

It's relative to a point. If your brain does not possess the full physiological capacity to make solid choices then you may find yourself making more mistakes. Granted, it's natural and we all go through it. It is not a negative thing per se but a fact of life. Environment plays a part too, but also #science

 

[kevin_kidnapped]

Age is only a number as long as your both mature adults with the same interests and likes, and are compatible with another. My girlfriend is 20 years younger than me, and although we kid and joke about it at times. I can't imagine wanting to be with anyone other than her! Even though I'm in my 50's, I can honestly say that she makes me feel at least 20 years younger, if not more! Haven't met her parents yet, but hope to very soon. I'm thinking that another plus to all of this is that I'll be able to relate better to her parents since I'm only "slightly" younger than them, lol!! And being "in" with the parents should go a long way (I hope!) when it comes time for us to get married someday 🙂

 

[chicago]

Yeah, after late 20s-30 there is less of a mental and maturity difference as you get older. Prior to that and it's almost a form of natural, hormone induced madness lol

 

[SpiritBomber]

I see conversation has blossomed since I last checked lol. Update for those interested, found out that she has a boyfriend, one that she's never talked about so I was caught unaware. Heartbreak. However, a good mutual friend felt it her duty to inform me that the mysterious boyfriend in question is not a good person and that they "need" to break up at some point. Is it wrong to hope that someone else's relationship fails so that one may have a chance?

 

[chicago]

Lol yeah kinda, but I think it's natural to feel that way too. Just as long as you don't go out of your way to disrupt anything. Whatever issues they have or don't have may not be your business and it's best to respect their relationship

 

[SpiritBomber]

Of course. I would never purposefully disrupt or sabotage anyone's relationship. I'm just saying, based on the fact that I was told this guy sucks, there's a dark corner of my heart that just kinda hopes that she... Concludes that particular relationship. I'll just accept that I'm secretly evil and go about my business 😛

 

[SharonP]

Long as both people are happy, (and over 18+) it doesn't matter if one person is 25 and the other is 55.

 

[sadi]

I'm along the same lines as Chicago, I think. Once a person's in their twenties (post-secondary education being a bigger landmark) age is really just a number.
Once neurological changes have matured enough (the most recent research stating that our frontal lobes don't fully develop until after we're 25) there's few "landmarks" that differentiate one human being from another.

 

[Mrcool]

When it comes to dating I always say half your age plus 4 years, assuming you are at least around 27. That's the lowest I will go in terms of a romantic relationship, however when it comes to tickling. It starts at 18

 

[sonnymadler]

I guess I'm more...old-fashioned when it comes to age gaps; I kind of think that 20 years is too big a gap between two partners. But still, if they're happy together, and they click, then more power to them! 😀

 

[Tenebrae]

Well, I only meant subjectively: an 18 year-old could have a mind of a forty-year old.

The story of my life I remember the day in university when I stepped on the stage for my very first conference ever, I was a bit nervous. My opening words were "When I was younger..." then one my teachers shouted: "Have you EVER been young?", making everyone who knew me laugh in the audience. Yeah I kind of always were more mature than the others in the same age bracket (others say "old school", "boring" and "conservative", whatever 😉). So I believe like others here that age matters less than maturity. I have met forty-somethings who were basically man-children, incapable of handling their lives. And also 16 years old whom the hardships of life had changed into fully functional and responsible adults at an age when they usually don't even grasp the concept of "responsibility".

However, I do believe that living longer does teach you things that younger people cannot comprehend. Confucius has written beautiful lines about this, how even an older peasant can sometimes surpass a younger intellectual in terms of wisdom. I see that a lot in my everyday life, sometimes old people have acquired something along the way, no matter which direction their life took, that we youngsters will grasp only with time.

So, in a word, I'd say that the age gap does count for something, but maybe not as much as people sometimes are inclined to believe.

 

[Mitchell]

At my age. (47 now). At my stage of life.

It would really depend.

I still think that if I could become involved in a long term relationship or marry in the near future, I would still want to try and have a biological child. (If the woman I was involved with, wanted to as well, of course. )

I would feel.. that for myself, it would be inappropriate for me to date a woman who was.. 25 years old. In such a case, I would feel the age gap was too great, and that I'm too old for a woman who is 25.

Realistically, probably the bottom limit for me, would be. mid 30s, anywhere from 34 to 36, assuming the woman was okay with my being more than a decade older than she was.

I know that if I did become involved or fall in love with, a woman, who is my age, or a bit younger or older, we could always adopt a child, if she agreed to such, or not have children, if such was appropriate. .

Most important, to me is, what would be the feelings between the woman and myself.

Age, is almost, secondary if the person was right for me in all other ways.

 

[teamtickleguy]

Age-gaps in relationship can be much more (or indeed less) complex than the face-value prejudice you might encounter at the beginning would suggest, so I would ignore the kind of flippant remarks/looks/judgements you might receive initially as they're just reactive and not productive.

In the early stages, you need to get to know each other first before anyone (including yourselves) can judge the potential of the relationship - remember that the foundation of any good relationship comprises many things that can exist regardless of age - trust, common interests/values, humour, fun, attraction, the 'click' factor etc - there's no shame or anything weird in sharing these things with someone who's 18 when you're 25.

But, also be aware that an age gap presents practical things that may need to be addressed if the relationship progresses well and becomes serious - if the maturity levels are not compatible this will soon become apparent to either one of you (though it should not be taken for granted that a younger person will be the less mature one!).

But also the simple fact that stages of life must be taken into account - The 18-25 period is a real development phase - you're still finding yourself and your place in the world and people can change dramatically for better or worse with their experience during this time. But practically, you also need to consider the basic stages of life - for example, will the younger person's future studies/career plans clash with the older person's plans for being settled and starting a family. Does the young person have aspirations of travelling while they're still young, while the older person has already done this and wants to tend to his garden instead?! (Sorry, bit stereotypical there, but stereotypes do exist for a reason).

Having said that, people are constantly changing as they progress through life no matter what age they are - people's jobs change, where they live changes, family circumstances change, new challenges they face can affect them, health/money etc, they meet different people, change their values, constantly learn and broaden their mind - sometimes these things result in two people in a partnership branching off in different directions and falling out of love - and there's no shame in this, even if you're well in to a lengthy marriage, so don't be afraid of failing because of the age-gap - just be aware of it and think where it might leave you if a few years down the line the relationship ends because it's run its natural course. Are you capable of picking yourself up again and getting on with finding someone else to have that family with etc?

Bottom line is, if you like each other to start with then it's probably worth exploring. If you can build a trusting relationship based on the things that make you like each other in the first place (and on an understanding that you'll need to be open about everything going forward) then there's every chance of a great relationship developing.

Hope that helps
Cheers
TTG (never uses a sentence when a lengthy paragraph will do!)

 

[BlasterMaster]

Hmmm...just a quick question. If the human brain normally achieves full maturity somewhere in a person's late twenties, when does a human achieve full sexuality maturity? After puberty or is it a process that goes on until the day you die?

 

[sadi]

Hmmm...just a quick question. If the human brain normally achieves full maturity somewhere in a person's late twenties, when does a human achieve full sexuality maturity? After puberty or is it a process that goes on until the day you die?

Not too clear on where the whole "maturity" line lies relating to sexuality, but I've heard that for most females, their sexual "peak" is around the late thirties (37 or so); for males, it's around initial puberty (anyone remember high school - EVER???). That's some conundrum, if those facts are anywhere true.

In real life, I've met people who have been married for years, decades with age differences over a decade. In the one relationship, the man was ... over 15 years older than the female (but being professionally involved in many sports, always very physically active, I never could tell there was an age gap). The other relationship where this time it was the female who was 11 years older. The girl looked morbidly obese, so I "guess" that might have fleshed out any wrinkles she may have had? More recently, she's lot a lot of weight, and looks like she has great genes for her age. It really depends on the personality (with legal limitations, of course).

Heck, I've even met a guy who, 59, (going on 60 in a couple months) was dating a girl who was 29. The relationship ended in no time flat, as regardless her being younger than some of his own children, their personalities could not be further apart. Obviously, he was thinking with the wrong head. 😉 But aside from my initial knee-jerk reaction, it was the extreme differences in their personalities that set them apart, though I bet her being under half his age had something to do with the (generational gap) differences, too.

 

[jayson752003]

Everyone's different, so I don't like to judge, but I feel like an 18 year old may not have the life experiences and emotional maturity that someone even a few years older might have. My bf is ten years older than me, but I think the older you get the less the age gap matters since most areas of your brain are developed after late 20s

I second this

 

[BlasterMaster]

Lol yeah kinda, but I think it's natural to feel that way too. Just as long as you don't go out of your way to disrupt anything. Whatever issues they have or don't have may not be your business and it's best to respect their relationship

Chicago is best advice giver. 😀

 

[Mitchell]

I don't like to post too much about my personal life.

Without giving, exact.. details. I'm just going to briefly state what has happened recently.

There is someone I like, who I know also likes me a great deal.

The issue is.. the girl/woman, is in her 20s. (Mid to later ).

She does not know "exactly" how old I am. She does know that I'm in my 40s.

Someone, in the same place this woman works at, once was discussing age with me, and guessed my age as my "mid 30s".

This person was shocked when I told them I'm "well " in my 40s.

I look much younger than I am, when I'm at my normal weight, and when I'm not tired, etc.

The woman I've been talking to, who is in her 20s, seems to want someone younger than me. Even though we do like each other very much.

Chances are, it will never happen with this woman, even though we do talk a great deal, and have talked a lot to each other about our lives.

From this experience, I know that I need to find someone who is at least in her 30s, even if she was.. 12 to 15 years younger than me.

(As long as the woman was okay with having a bf/perhaps one day husband, who is 12-15 years older than she would be, of course)