Tickle Daygaming

[DebonairDavid]

Update: I made a serious faux paw by originally giving terrible advice, and although I'm not responsible for anyone's behavior, I hope no one decided to use it because I don't want them to get into serious legal trouble. Also, I want to apologize for coming off as defensive when people called me out on what I said originally. I decided to remove that advice, and instead focus on what daygaming is. After you've read and applied the Medium post, and have gotten to know this person quite well to where you two are routinely meeting up and enjoying each other's company, then start joking around with them and use it as excuse to tickle them or have them tickle you.

For anyone unfamiliar with daygaming, its a situation where a man or a woman approaches an attractive person with the intent of getting their number or asking them out. Read more on that here: https://rachelarandilla .medium.com/what-is-day-gaming-67b8e08a026d (I'd recommend downloading a browser extension to bypass the paywall). While I'm happy to say I've daygamed twice, I'm dismayed that both relationships ended in disaster (even though they never became romantic). Thankfully I have been making some significant effort to improve myself since then, which hasn't always been easy. I should make it clear that there's a right way and wrong way to do this, and I hope we all know the wrong way to approach someone in hopes of getting their number and will purposely avoid that.

 

[pacattack]

I hate to be the one to deliver the news to you, but women aren't stupid. They know when a man is making up reasons to sit near them. In your case, while you may have an honest reason to sit somewhere else besides a sunlit window, you're still not really telling her why you're specifically approaching her vs literally anywhere else in the library (and if it is the only available seat left then it's your lucky day).

Throw in the fact that you (a stranger) are basically trying to manipulate a woman into talking about tickling with you (for sexual/erotic gain)... it isn't morally right (it's predatory and it's wrong). You may know exactly why you're talking to her about tickling and sharing your erotica with her, but she doesn't when entering that conversation with you. It's wrong.

I've had much better experiences being direct... just walking up to a woman, telling her I liked her style, and asking her if I can give her my number or if she would like to talk for a bit. And that is only if I genuinely like her style, not because I have a fantasy in my head about her.

Sometimes it's a hard no, and sometimes they're involved with someone else. And sometimes it's a yes.

They appreciate this vs playing games.

And remember that "time and a place" matters; it isn't appropriate to do this anywhere.

Be genuinely interested in her.

All the fetish stuff comes sectondary to who a person is (an individual and a human being with their own thoughts and feelings)... that stuff comes after.

 

[DebonairDavid]

I hate to be the one to deliver the news to you, but women aren't stupid. They know when a man is making up reasons to sit near them. In your case, while you may have an honest reason to sit somewhere else besides a sunlit window, you're still not really telling her why you're specifically approaching her vs literally anywhere else in the library (and if it is the only available seat left then it's your lucky day).

Throw in the fact that you (a stranger) are basically trying to manipulate a woman into talking about tickling with you (for sexual/erotic gain)... it isn't morally right (it's predatory and it's wrong). You may know exactly why you're talking to her about tickling and sharing your erotica with her, but she doesn't when entering that conversation with you. It's wrong.

I've had much better experiences being direct... just walking up to a woman, telling her I liked her style, and asking her if I can give her my number or if she would like to talk for a bit. And that is only if I genuinely like her style, not because I have a fantasy in my head about her.

Sometimes it's a hard no, and sometimes they're involved with someone else. And sometimes it's a yes.

They appreciate this vs playing games.

And remember that "time and a place" matters; it isn't appropriate to do this anywhere.

Be genuinely interested in her.

All the fetish stuff comes sectondary to who a person is (an individual and a human being with their own thoughts and feelings)... that stuff comes after.

While I understand and respect your opinion, I respectfully disagree with it. Yes, women aren't stupid, and I never treat them like they are because I honestly wouldn't like it if the shoe was on the other foot. However, you're taking everything I said out of context and making it sound like I'm looking to act out some creepy pick up artist scenario, or I'm needy, horny, and desperate, when the key to daygaming is not engaging in any of those behaviors. Instead, I have to be chill and respectful while showing interest in her. Also, if I woman saw me from afar, found me attractive, and decided to approach me with sexual/romantic interest, while portraying herself as a lady in the streets, and having a genuine interest in me as a person, how is that not a double-standard according to you? To be fair, yes, I should've mentioned scanning the room to see how crowded the library is while finding another place to sit, and if a woman happens to be sitting at a table that isn't crowded, great, because it's a bonus. If there aren't any attractive women to sit across from, I just have to accept it and continue working on my story. Also, by me talking to her about her background so I can learn more about her, all while having conversations which aren't about tickling, obviously I AM taking a geniune interest in her, rather than objectifying her or manipulating her. You don't seem to understand I wanted to get to know her first and then talk about tickling with her sometime after that (in a playful but respectful way, mind you). When I mentioned offering to have her read my tickle fic after I've gotten to know her, that's no different than when I politely asked my female coworker at the time to review this tickle fetish dating ad from a woman's perspective, which is how I tickle daygamed her (but then we got into an argument a few minutes afterward which then killed our relationship). Aside from the argument, she not only had no problem with it (because of how I worded everything in it) but also found it intriguing, saying "Everyone has their thing". That's what eventually led to me putting it in the personals when I still had my old account. On top of that, I already established if she doesn't want to pursue anything with me, I just have to say "Okay, I understand" and accept the situation for what it is.

I'm wondering if you even read the link I included about what daygaming is?

 

[Comfort Eagle]

For anyone unfamiliar with daygaming, its a situation where a man or a woman approaches an attractive person with the intent of getting their number or asking them out

I had no idea there was a specific name for that.

 

[Masterof Salmon]

If I may, I think you're going about this the wrong way. Reading this it feels like you're too focused on the end goal of tickling, when really the whole point of day gaming based on the description is to build a relationship. Now that's not to say that you can't have that goal, we're all human with our needs and trust me, I've been there. But if you're trying to build a relationship then that should be your primary focus. You also probably shouldn't bring up fetish stuff or kink in the first meeting (apologies if I misread but it did sound like all of what you wrote about happened in a single conversation), even when talking about it through the lens of a creative writer.

Personally I'd advise maybe slowing down and being more restrained if you want to keep doing this. Yes of course ask about her interests but don't be afraid to also talk about your own non-fetish interests as well! You might have some in common that could lead to a more genuine friendship or relationship. If you have any non-tickling written works that you're willing to share that would be a great place to start. Hoping the best for you!

Edit: Spelling and Grammar

 

[DebonairDavid]

If I may, I think you're going about this the wrong way. Reading this it feels like you're too focused on the end goal of tickling, when really the whole point of day gaming based on the description is to build a relationship. Now that's not to say that you can't have that goal, we're all human with our needs and trust me, I've been there. But if you're trying to build a relationship then that should be your primary focus. You also probably shouldn't bring up fetish stuff or kink in the first meeting (apologies if I misread but it did sound like all of what you wrote about happened in a single conversation), even when talking about it through the lens of a creative writer.

Personally I'd advise maybe slowing down and being more restrained if you want to keep doing this. Yes of course ask about her interests but don't be afraid to also talk about your own non-fetish interests as well! You might have some in common that could lead to a more genuine friendship or relationship. If you have any non-tickling written works that you're willing to share that would be a great place to start. Hoping the best for you!

Edit: Spelling and Grammar

After reading over my original description, I now see what you mean by me being too focused on the end goal, rather than building a relationship and then tickling her sometime afterward. I'll look into rewriting the whole description of this post while keeping everyone's critiques in mind.