Hello, all. I just joined this place in March, but it took me a while to pluck up the courage to write an introduction post, so here I go.
Well…where should I start? First of all, my name (if you haven’t guessed already) is Amanda, I just turned 18 years old this year, and…I am probably the only one on the TMF who has NEVER been tickled in their whole life. As in, not even by a friend or a family member. I know, I know...it's a bit of a paradox to have someone here with a tickle fetish who's never even been tickled once. It's weird because for me when I watch someone get tickled, I can imagine the sensations they must be feeling, but at the same time it's hazy because I lack any sort of experience. xD
Anyway, to start off, ever since I was around 8 years old I’ve always had a strange obsession with tickling. Whenever I saw two people tickle each other, I would just stop and stare at them in fascination. And when I did, I would have conflicting thoughts in my head, like I wanted to join in while at the same time being mortally terrified of being tickled. And if I was reading a book or watching something on TV that had content related to tickling, I would either watch or read that part over and over. I’ve always wondered what was wrong with me…my whole life I thought I was some kind of freak for being so obsessed with it. I didn’t even know what the word ‘fetish’ meant until I started my Internet research on tickling when I was around 11 years old. I think I found the TMF when I was 13 or 14, so I’ve been lurking on the forum for about 4 or 5 years.
And then, there’s something else that’s been complicating things regarding my sexuality. I really hope my story doesn’t turn off some people here, but I’m just gonna say it anyway…See, all my short life, I’ve been dreaming about an older (or a taller) female tickling me and throughout my adolescent years, I’ve always thought that that fantasy was just a playful, sisterly thing and that it didn’t say anything about my sexual orientation. But just this year, I’ve discovered the fact that I am indeed a gay girl. A lezzo, lesbo...whatever you wanna call it. At first, I thought I was some kind of demon or monster for having these desires that I’ve always been taught were unnatural or perverted. It was like I was falling into a dark pit of both confusion and understanding. I kept thinking to myself that if I was a lesbian, my whole world would end and that it'd be even harder for me to find love or even just friends. It took quite a few months for me to sort out my feelings and embrace who I am…and oddly enough, this all happened the year that I would turn 18 and finally able to join the TMF. So this year was also another big change for me in that I was able to fully accept my obsession with tickling as a fetish and not be afraid to call it that without being disgusted at myself.
So yeah, I appear to be a member of a minority group in a somewhat rare fetish, but I’m okay with that because it makes me unique and it’s a large part of my identity.
Another reason why I was hesitant to post was because I was a bit terrified at the idea of coming out of the closet on a forum…strangers or not, this lesbian label is still really new to me and at this point in my life I’m still quite a bit insecure about my sexuality even though I’ve gotten past the acceptance stage. I’m only out to my mom and my brother, if that tells you much. So I really hope that the good people of the TMF won’t hesitate to befriend me or talk to me. I know this is a hetero-dominated fetish, so I’m perfectly happy to be the pink unicorn in a field of blue unicorns. =^_^=
Hope to see everyone around the boards. I’ll be mostly spamming the SSF, as my dear friend Carsomyr can vouch for.
God bless
-AmandaBear