It's kinda simple, sadly. There's less women than men in our community. More women are reserved about announcing "availability" and have more sense than to put themselves at risk.
Then you add the dopes that fake being female.
Then you add those that insult the dopes and the women.
And you have what we have here.
Gatherings are a better way to be sure to SEE the person, get to know 'em, etc., but it costs to go to most of 'em, in motel rooms and travel costs alone...
Makes it tough. Still, one has to try, or just complain about how impossible it is.
I'm proof of possibility. So are many others, though we're a minority. It's a tough deal.
Good luck!
dvnc