Tickling in a relationship

[FFT32]

Well here we are a year and a few months later. Officially moved and am out of that relationship. I’m not sure why I was in such denial about all of this great information.

It’s a process going into and out of a relationship. You just had to do your process. If the advice you sought on this forum helped or supported you through your process, then kudos to the TMF for being there for you AND also to you personally for moving on to better things.

 

[4Pawz]

I’m glad things turned out well. I’ve had it in my relationship, and definitely didn’t. I know if I ever pursue another relationship (and I have no intention of doing so) that it’s a conversation I will have to have in the beginning stages, because it’s just a part of me at this point. I don’t want to have to tiptoe around it

 

[duderino84]

I'm glad you're doing well.

It's usually a good indicator to stay in a relationship where partners share things they enjoy.

It can also be toxic.

Sounds like things were set and tickling was just one of those things that was already there.

Not counting a few shorter than average relationships, I've been single for about 9 years. Not sure what that means.

 

[Hiphophooray2]

Last night my partner gave me an ultimatum of my love for tickling or our relationship. I told her I'll drop tickling during the conversation but after a lot of thought while trying to sleep I ask myself why change for her. She has been okay with it for the last 3 years and now all of the sudden once I showed her how deep I enjoy it she finds it off putting and makes her sick to her stomach. I'm not sure what to do in the situation because I do love her but if she can't accept my needs in the bedroom why would I stay

Thoughts?

What exactly did u do to "show her how deeply you enjoy it"?

 

[Hiphophooray2]

All my girlfriends had to accept it, if not there is no point on me being with them. I would say you move one. You want to be happy in life. Find someone who is on the same page. If she is not willing to accept your pleasures, she is not for you. Sorry for your situation. Hope you find what you are looking for and be happy.

Pretty much exactly this 👆

 

[Hiphophooray2]

i had a similar gf in HS who tried to stop me from expressing my fetish. i just stopped dating her and dated another girl who didn't mind my weirdness.. and then i tickled and kissed her in front of my ex at a party and she left FUMING lol. that's still a great memory.

Thats pretty much how I've always handled that particular scenario, and with great success to I might add. Lol

 

[Hiphophooray2]

I'm glad you're doing well.

It's usually a good indicator to stay in a relationship where partners share things they enjoy.

It can also be toxic.

Sounds like things were set and tickling was just one of those things that was already there.

Not counting a few shorter than average relationships, I've been single for about 9 years. Not sure what that means.

It means you been single for 9 years.....and probably fairly happy to. Lol

 

[laughtermech]

I read a few of your previous posts to help formulate a reply and discovered you're 27 years old.

This is important: While this is the oldest you've ever been, remember it's also the youngest you'll ever be.

I myself am approaching 60 from very much the wrong direction and while you and many others will feel with some justification that this is the next thing to being a walking corpse, it does give me a bit of perspective because I've been where you are on many an occasion. Yes, three years is an eternity to you, and certainly was to me at 27.

But believe it or not, it ain't.

If there are no children involved, and 'partner' doesn't mean 'wife', go. Move on. Continue having a pleasant, sociable walk through the garden and smell a different selection of flowers. Each one is an experience that will help you with those that will follow. Don't bother thinking of settling down permanently until you hit your mid-30s, and believe me you'll look back on your 20s as a period of life that's rife with embarrassment and imbecilic behaviour.

My second, and previous wife hated being tickled, but that was only a minor factor in our divorce, so you can imagine... My present wife of 16 years, whom I met 5 years after the schism when I was 49 and she was 22 (18 years ago) is delighted to accommodate me, because fortunately it's become one of her kinks as well.

Upsetting as it was at the time, (and for quite a few years afterwards) and certainly not initiated by me, subsequent events proved that particular divorce was the best thing that could have happened to me.

Get out there, chat to random women IRL, NOT online, and get hurt sometimes because you will be- that's life. But if you're willing to take the risk things may well work out well for you. No guarantees, but you're pretty miserable ATM anyway, and what do you have to lose?

Roll the bones and good luck.

Such wise words shared, Libertine. Thanks for composing them and giving them as a gift to this person asking for guidance. I completely agree with you on that walking through the garden metaphor. Brilliant and so well said! Thanks again🙏

 

[laughtermech]

Hello, ticklingfetish-

Sorry to be a little late. As someone with experience with this, perhaps I may advise.

Relationships are more than just fetishes and sex- remember that. Love, honesty, and understanding are the true underpinnings. Instead of making the situation all or nothing, try being open to discussion and finding a solution.

For example, my long term partner h-a-t-e-s to be tickled. As everyone here knows, I LOVE tickling and that could have been a deal breaker for us a couple decades ago if I had made it one, BUT- we talked it over early on, and it turned out he also occasionally enjoys some activities that I most definitely do not. So, we each partake in those specific interests, just not together, SSC. It is possible to enjoy some things together, some things separately. And I continue tickling!!

Not every relationship can handle that, but having deep -and often uncomfortable- discussions about wants and needs, as well as how the fetishes developed (yours and hers), and of course, what she is looking for from the relationship, can lead to a deeper understanding of each other. Hopefully, with that understanding you can come to a compromise and agreement, instead of throwing out the baby with the bathwater.

Best wishes for you both.

Regards
-Ms Black

So beautifully shared. Thank you🙏 Love this concept of the spouse not being able to fulfill all the ‘things’ / check all the boxes so to speak. But maybe they are able to but fulfill ‘enough’, and check ‘enough boxes’. Yes, life it appears can sometimes be like a Rolling Stone song where you may not always get what you want, but if you try sometimes, you may get what you need ;-)

 

[duderino84]

It means you been single for 9 years.....and probably fairly happy to. Lol

The couple of times I tried to break it, they either turned out to be a bigger mess than I am (ever seen someone with 12 pets?) Or they just found a different direction after me.

It's not really about happy but how much two worlds can mix.