Movie Review....
I was so amped up to see this movie I could barely keep still during the previews – which, by way, seemed ENDLESS. I don’t think a single preview registered because my brain was too busy playing out the possible tickling scenarios that might occur in a movie where one of the characters was a professed tickle lover.
I don’t remember at what point the first tickle scene occurred, but I do remember the circumstances. The characters Leo and Paige were in her art studio. She was fretting over her upcoming art exhibit, the date was fast approaching and she had no idea what her sculpture was going to be. Paige was slumped down on her stool, and Leo stood behind her, trying to comfort her. Then he leans down and gives her a kiss on the neck, which elicits a ticklish reaction. Paige starts to giggle, and ends up off her stool. The next thing I remember is the two of them on the floor of her studio, her kneeling down in an almost fetal position, and him behind her, tickling her ribs. The whole time she’s laughing and yelling, “No!” Sadly, the scene was over fairly quickly…. which I guess is true for most mainstream tickle scenes. The scene ends with them making out.
Then right before the accident that erases Paige’s memory, there is a very brief, and almost off screen, tickling between them. Leo is driving the car, and he reaches over and tickles Paige – the only reason I knew he was tickling her was because she was laughing, otherwise, you couldn’t see his hands or where he was tickling her. Then at a stop sign, she unbuckles her seatbelt, and they start to kiss – which ends when they get rear ended by a huge truck and she goes through the windshield. Let that be a lesson to you, TMFers, only tickle in the car with your seatbelts on!
Then came my favorite scene – which oddly enough had no actual tickling in it. It was after the accident, and Leo was outside his recording studio (where he worked), talking to one of his co-workers (a girl), and telling her how he and Paige have grown apart because she can’t remember anything about their relationship. His co-worker asks him what turns Paige on. Leo gets embarrassed, asks her “you mean in bed?”, and then when she nods, he tells her that it’s private. The co-worker says that she’s not going to judge them, so he relents and kind of shyly admits that Paige likes to be tickled. (It was right about this moment that my stomach was a blizzard of butterflies and my heart was pounding so hard I could hear my pulse in my ears). The co-worker says something to the effect of, “Oh you’re into that kinky kind of stuff.” To which he jokingly responds, “Oh, thanks for not judging.” But then he jumps to Paige’s defense and explains, “it’s not like that.” He then says how tickling just helps Paige “get out of her head” when she’s stressed out and it helps her to relax. The co-worker suggests he tries tickling her to help rekindle their former connection.
I could barely keep still in my seat, thinking about the possible upcoming tickle scene. I was hoping that fireworks would go off when he tries to tickle her, or that she suddenly gets her memory back - guess I’ve seen one too many chick flicks. Here’s the spoiler… it doesn’t happen like that. Actually, it’s NOTHING like that. She is in their dining room, constructing a photo timeline of her life to try and see if she can make sense of all the people/places. Sadly, it seems Leo is the only person she can’t remember. She’s obviously frustrated at her lack of recall, and she is hunched over the table, leaning on her elbows, and he’s posed behind her. He starts to massage her neck, telling her that everything would be okay. I could practically read his mind as the smile spreads across his lips. This is his chance to tickle her. He kind of chuckles to himself, and reaches out to tickle her underarms. Much to my dismay, she jumps back with a look of shock on her face and accusingly asks, “What are you doing?” It was all I could do to not groan out loud. You can see that Leo is heartbroken – this isn’t the same girl he married, and he has NO idea how to bridge the gap anymore. Then it dawns on Paige that tickling must mean something to him. She says, “Oh, was that a thing with us?” He just blows it off, saying that everything is fine, and he leaves the room in a hurry.
Okay, so at this point, my Hollywood moment was blown, and I sat waiting for the two of them reconnect somehow – I knew it had to be coming, otherwise what the hell kind of movie would it be if they both divorced and went their separate ways? They actually do divorce (another spoiler), but it doesn’t last. So when they come back together, I keep waiting for the next tickle scene to happen – only this time when he tickles her, she’s going to respond to him the way she did before the accident. She’ll get all turned on, they’ll kiss, and I’ll probably get to see Channing Tatum naked. Waiting… and waiting… and waiting. My jaw nearly hit the floor when the credits started to roll and the realization hit me that there wasn’t going to be another tickle scene that remedied their fractured relationship. WTF???
I’m sure all you guys are familiar with the phrase “blue balls”, right? That is the only phrase that fits how I was feeling as I exited the theater. If I had a pair, they would have been blue as hell. It was like two hours of foreplay and then I was just left hanging there, unfulfilled. Completely frustrated as hell. I spent the ride home concocting the scene in my head that I WANTED to have played out, but never got. But the fantasy in my head wasn’t nearly as exciting as it would have been to see on the big screen.
So, I thought I’d write this little TMF synopsis so any of you guys going out to see the movie would know what to expect. Maybe if you have a ‘ler/lee ready for you after the credits roll, to release some of your pent up frustration, it will help the blue balls situation. But blue balls aside, there was quite a bit of tickling or talk of tickling for a mainstream movie – and hell, it was Channing Tatum who is just ridiculously hot! But needless to say, I’ve been having wild Tatum fantasies since I saw the damn movie. I’m thinking that the only way to get him out of my head is to write about the tickling scene I wished would have happened. Might just have to happen if I’m going to get another decent night’s sleep….
😉
And something else is official... I HATE his wife... lucky bitch.
