Tickling without safeword - your solutions?

[TickVix]

I hardly ever use my safeword. Half the time I can't n remember it because I don't really use it. I have a feeling eventually I may have to though lol. If you truly enjoy being tickled, I'm sure not using a safeword once in a while wouldn't hurt 🙂.

 

[Skipadeedoodah]

I don't really use a safeword when I have one, but that's the exact reason that I like to play without a safeword when I'm with a ler that I trust. It's not that I think I'll abuse it - I basically never use it - but I don't want to have that control tucked away.

 

[-Hari-]

Ive never used a safeword, ive always offered one to my lees but I know my lees before I do anything with them and they always trust me to read them well.

I personally find it very easy to tell when someone says enough and means it, and thats usually a case os regular sessioning and building up to a point where you understand that person.

Its doesnt suit everyones style I suppose, but it does take a lot of the fun out of it for me when a safeword is in use, I dont like the way it ruins the "game" it makes all of the pleas for mercy seem empty when you know in the back of your mind they could end it with a single word that you must obey.

 

[stroker]

One possible solution might be to establish a strict time limit governed by some sort of alarm . The time would be set to a mutually agreed point based on the lees limit. The lee would then have the reassurance that there will be definite end point which may reduce his/her distress. The ler would have the reassurance that it wont all be over before it began. The time could then be adjusted for subsequent sessions based on the lees reaction to the first. But the most important thing is that ler has enough sense to recognise real distress which most people can unless they are real psychos.i

 

[ilikebeingtkled]

I don't know if anybody said this but what if the lee was only allowed to use a safeword for a limited amount. For example, for a 1 hour session the lee would only be able to use the safeword 3 or 4 times. If he/she uses them all up early they'll be screwed later, thus forcing the lee to endure for a set amount of time. And the ler can see how good of tickler they are be trying to make the lee use them early and often.

 

[rhiannon]

I like to tie the safeword to a bet. If I use it, I lose the bet and have to do something that I don't like. That ensures I don't use it if I don't absolutely have to.

Plus, it's just a pride-thing not to use it. 🙂

 

[ticklemepls]

Oh it was not meant for personal reasons. Just a theoretical issue. Yet practical advice from people who have actually dealt with this problem would be most appreciated.

Well, they are right. If you have one specific play partner (like my bf femfttickler21 and i) you know the person. I dont have a safeword with him because we've done it so many times if I truly need it to stop, he'd know...

That being said, everyone is different and there is no 'blanket' way to determine if they are serious or not (unless of course they pass out on you or something like that). Best bet is knowing the person- and if you are concerned about someone abusing their safeword, you could always say something like for everytime they use it- 10 minutes non stop after its said (and they break of course)... makes them consider it i guess.... dunno.

 

[texastickler]

I will say this. Ticklemepls said it above and it makes the most sense. If you have a long time partner safe words are not as needed. As a ler you should know your partners limits. As for a new lee, I think it should be established especially if the lee has never been tied and tickled. A safe word is used more to stop the tickling should the lee be uncomfortable, in pain or any other discomfort. A ler should know when enough is enough. Good judgment is key but the lee should have the final say. It is his or her body we are talking about. Lay the ground rules before a session and stick with them. I know a few lees that hate safe words and that is cool. It really depends on the person and the situation.

 

[ticklishmikey]

My first session was a switch session. It was without a safeword, but we kept a close eye on each other ensuring that we wouldn't go too far. We'd look for signs like unusually labored breathing (I know breathing becomes labored when your tickled, but this would be more so than normal), changes in laughter pattern anything that would signify a pause is needed to check on the person. From the lee's perspective, I was scared of not being able to stop it , but at the same time, I really liked it. I know it's probably been said but it's got a lot to do with the trust you have in your partner not to take things too far I guess.

 

[rhiannon]

but we kept a close eye on each other ensuring that we wouldn't go too far

This is exactly what I hate about not having the safeword - being constantly forced to pay attention and not being able to let go! If there is a safeword, both lee and ler can just relax and go for it!

 

[Jagermeistered]

Being a switch, I would prefer safewords for the both of us, so to keep the action going! Also, try other fun stuff! 🙂

 

[nylonfootman]

This is a sticky question and difficult to answer without sounding like an absolute sadist. I only know what works for my current partner and those I've had before. The safeword method gives the 'lee too easy an out. I and my partner understand that I am the tickler. I am in control. This is what turns me on in the first place. That being said, with that control comes certain responsibilities. First of all, I would never subject a woman with heart problems or blood pressure difficulties to an extended tickling session. Secondly, as an experienced tickler, I know I must pace the session. I don't tickle my partner non-stop for hours. I tickle for awhile and then back off,keeping a close eye on her and allowing her to recover before moving in for more. I'm not bragging, but my partner and I do this multiple times a week, and have been doing so for years. It's all about having empathy for your ticklee while still weilding your dominance!

 

[Rusty Shackleford]

Sometimes you're looking for a playful, light session, and sometimes you're looking for torture. It's all about communication, verbal and otherwise.

I think it's really hot penalizing someone for using their safeword... adds another element to everything else.

 

[jkb]

How is this for an interesting solution?

Say you're doing a fantasy interrogation scenario. The ler "accuses" the lee of a pretty disgusting crime and tickles the lee so that he/she will confess. The safeword could be more than simply a single word; perhaps in order to get the tickling to stop, the lee would be required to admit to the crime ("I admit to committing the crime of necrophilia", for example. It has to be humiliating to say, so simply "OK I confess" wouldn't be enough), and beg for forgiveness and perhaps even describe doing the crime (or at least the non boner-killing parts). This adds an extra element of danger for the lee (humiliation), but there is still a safeword in that the lee can stop the tickling if it becomes too much. Maybe not a perfect solution, but something that can be worked upon.

 

[P[a]pi]

Snap with both hands once means they need a break or stop doing a certain thing. Snap with both hands 3 times means they want out.

 

[Mike3355]

if no safeword, perhaps then set a time limit.. that way after a set amount of minutes you can STOP and ask the lee if she's okay? needs to potty? or can take another 10 minutes?