trusting strangers to tie you up for tickling

[amalelee4u]

Anyone ever had a bad experience with letting someone you met online tie you up? It's a realistic risk.

 

[arachnid95]

I've never met up with anyone in real life for a tickle session before, but I did almost get the chance once. I'd been talking to this guy online for some time, and he seemed pretty cool. We'd talked about the possibility of meeting up before, mostly in jest. But then he mentioned that he actually wanted to meet up, and would be in my neck of the woods sometime soon. On the one hand, the idea sounded pretty cool, but at the same time, it really is risky. I actually had a dream that night that we met up, and I got the most ruthless tickle torture imaginable--which is awesome in theory, but not something I want to experience in reality. It was pretty scary, and I started having second thoughts about it. In the end, we didn't meet up--the stars just weren't aligned right. Since then, though, I've kept in touch with him, and he still seems pretty legit, so if he were to offer again, I'd likely take it.

I don't know why I'm saying all of this... Moral of the story, I guess, is that you should just make sure you know the person well before you meet up with them. Trusting yourself to complete strangers isn't something I'd recommend at all...

 

[TicklingTips]

Let me put a different point of view. There are a lot, and I mean a LOT, of people on here who talk about how much they love tickling or being tickled but will never experience an actual session because they don't take opportunities when they come up.

Don't be that person. Talk to someone enough that you're pretty comfortable with them, meet them first if you need to, and then just take the leap and go for it. Life is too short to keep saying you'll do it some other time. It won't happen.

You'll never feel 100% comfortable and not nervous at all. Accept that, and enjoy yourself. Even the poster above sounds like they now regret not taking a chance.

 

[robmic]

That's something I've struggled with for a long time, from the 'lers point of view. I'm very conscious of a person's fears, but in reality, that person doesn't know me from Adam. The last thing I would want to do is traumatize someone because I took the tickling too far or didn't respect their boundaries. But, unless they can read minds, how can they really know for sure that you have their best interests in mind? There's no easy answer that I can see...

 

[theteam]

Get to know them them, chat on here, skype, meet up over time and build that trust. Make it clear what you both want and intend to do and go from there.

There will always be doubt and worry but at somepoint you have to choose whether to go for it or not. Only you can make the choice on how you feel with the other person.

 

[MrTicklefeet]

Nope, I've always had a good time, both as lee and ler.

 

[Comfort Eagle]

Every so often I do amateur videos with people from Craigslist or OKCupid, and you generally just want to talk a loooot before and during. Anything can happen but you can normally get a good feel for people.

If at all possible you're gonna wanna get ahold of a facebook profile beforehand. You can learn a lot about a person from their fb.

 

[rhiannon]

That's something I've struggled with for a long time, from the 'lers point of view. I'm very conscious of a person's fears, but in reality, that person doesn't know me from Adam. The last thing I would want to do is traumatize someone because I took the tickling too far or didn't respect their boundaries. But, unless they can read minds, how can they really know for sure that you have their best interests in mind? There's no easy answer that I can see...

That's what the safeword is for!

I met my ler online. We chatted for years before we met. I felt comfortable around him right away, especially since he assured me that I can say no at all times and he will respect that. If someone seems creepy, don't do it. Trust your gut. And of course, it can still go wrong. I always knew that and I was ready to take the risk. Didn't regret it.

 

[Myriads]

You don't let a stranger tie you up.

You get to know them. You look to see if they have local references with the local BDSM group, and how they are thought of there. You spend time with them to get your own read on things.

You make them not a stranger.

Unlike a one night stand where, yes you put yourself at risk by heading off alone with a stranger, here you are being physically restrained. You are going into the interaction in a significantly dangerous position should things not go as you wish.

Learning who you are with comes before being with.

Myriads

 

[TKLVR18]

As usual, my post consists largely of "What Bossman Myr said" 😛 I've met up with two people from online so far (One of 'em never went home 😀 ) I've never had a bad experience, but I've had -plenty- of people approach me for an irl meet when we just met. That'll be a no. I only have met with people I had known online for a very long time, in some cases literally years, had voice chatted with, knew what they looked like, and generally trusted them. It takes a LONG time of knowing a person 'online' before it's safe to meet up with them.

~K

 

[BostonTickling]

You don't let a stranger tie you up.

You get to know them. You look to see if they have local references with the local BDSM group, and how they are thought of there. You spend time with them to get your own read on things.

You make them not a stranger.

Unlike a one night stand where, yes you put yourself at risk by heading off alone with a stranger, here you are being physically restrained. You are going into the interaction in a significantly dangerous position should things not go as you wish.

Learning who you are with comes before being with.

Myriads

This

 

[maniactickler]

Ive never tied a woman up on a first meeting, and I wouldn't ask to.

 

[giggleBrat]

I've been in restraints and only 1 time. Knew him through chatting here and outside of here. Gotta gauge the circumstances.

I met him a beautiful hotel. He was completely polite; laid back and let me feel so at ease with the session that I had no fear at all and agreed to it. Taking someone's psychological temperature is wise to do; keep checking with the lee periodically and let them know you are cognizant of their mindset and level of enjoyment. Trust youir instincts. I wouldnt have done it if I felt the even slightest bit apprehensive and it was a blast.

I'd have to experience similar circumstances to agree to restraints again. (over-the-door and bed restraints) 😛

 

[the tickleshow]

This is a difficult question with a relatively vague solution. I would need to trust the person before letting her tie me up. I have never tied up a woman against her will, nor do I get anything out of doing that. I've even turned prospective models away from shooting videos with me because I felt they were too nervous about being restrained. I don't need anyone having a panic attack or worse on my watch. That being said, 80% of my models were restrained for the first time when I tickled them (or so they said).
Bottom line is, go with your gut. If you feel anxious (more than just butterflies, which are normal) then stay away. I'm sure the opportunity to get a man to tie & tickle you will come up again.
If not nervous, go for it.

 

[porcelaindoll2]

Yes I have, but it only happened once. It was a guy I had met off of OkCupid and I just happened to also find a guy who had a FetLife profile, but rarely used it. His main kink was bestiality and Fet doesn't support it due to it being illegal. I am not joking when I say this guy was hoping if we dated I'd open up to the idea of his dog riding me. I found this out after he had handcuffed me to his bed(I feel this guy is the reason I don't care for handcuffs anymore.). Basically after finding out about my tickle fetish he was dying to tickle me. I said yes, but was very nervous about it(I was very naive in my early journey in the lifestyle.). Well at first he did tickle me, but before I knew it he was stripping me naked and he was getting naked. He put his condom-less cock inside me and I got really confused/nervous/scared. Instead of saying no I just asked him to please put on a condom. He did proceed to put one on and kept going until he got off. I was just waiting for it to be over and I'm sure you won't be surprised when I say I never talked to him after the incident.

 

[porcelaindoll2]

You don't let a stranger tie you up.

You get to know them. You look to see if they have local references with the local BDSM group, and how they are thought of there. You spend time with them to get your own read on things.

You make them not a stranger.

Unlike a one night stand where, yes you put yourself at risk by heading off alone with a stranger, here you are being physically restrained. You are going into the interaction in a significantly dangerous position should things not go as you wish.

Learning who you are with comes before being with.

Myriads

This 100% this and I wish this was something I had know in my early years in the lifestyle. Thankfully nothing really serious ever happened to me and I learned a lot on my own.

 

[TicklishBlackGuy]

I have a very big trust issue with people tying me up just for tickling. I have to know you extremely wel land trust you for me to even consider it.

 

[rdhd]

Obviously it's a big fantasy for many, and is used as a plot in many tickling videos (but of course none of us really watch those...nudge, nudge, wink, wink). I admit it's a fantasy of mine - to be tied and tickled by a gal I don't really know. But in real life...well, different story. All one has to do is watch your local news long enough to get an idea.

 

[Laughandsquirm]

One just must have guts to do it, but you gotta now who you're dealing with here. It's basically like asking your crush out, you gotta "man up" and do it, but for safety purposes you need to know first if that "crush" of yours is good for you before doing it.

So basically, just get to know them good and after making sure that the possibility is harmless and possible then all that is left is for you to actually do it.

 

[kcantankerous]

Porcel, holy hell! I am sorry you went through that ordeal 🙁

 

[Pghtkltorture]

I haven't met too many people from online. The one I did (story in true stories section) was a guy I let tickle me for cash when I was in college and broke. I was pretty nervous about the whole idea, but I made sure that A. He was on my turf and B. that the restraints (I provided) were escapable. It takes away a little of the helplessness thrill but I'll trade that for safety.

I haven't met up with anyone in a long time, but I would definitely be more inclined to do it via the TMF vs fetlife or craigslist.

 

[amalelee4u]

Yeah the tmf people are probably a Lil more trustworthy

 

[Pghtkltorture]

I just figure the TMF is obscure and specific enough that someone would be going to pretty large
Lengths to do something illegitimate

 

[Myriads]

I haven't met up with anyone in a long time, but I would definitely be more inclined to do it via the TMF vs fetlife or craigslist.

What the TMF offers is a place where a person can become known to the community. Overtime, interaction with other members in threads and in chat, face to face interaction at gatherings and so forth builds up a members reputation. Others in the community get to know them, and that increases the chances of problem free interactions. Because they are not a stranger to known people here.

That of course doesn't mean a blanket 'If they are on the TMF they are 100% cool" endorsement. The vast majority of people on the forum never post or interact publicly. This leaves them in the 'unknown' category, and thus need to be approached as you would any other stranger, with care and over a good period of time.

Strangers are strangers no matter where you find them. Here, Fetlife, or in the club downtown. Apply the same rules to all of them.

Myriads

 

[P[a]pi]

Doll, I'm really sorry that happened to you jeez laweez. And I can understand the calm (on the outside at least) reaction. It might have prevented things from escalating for sure, very brave.