How often do I have to repeat that I do not expect every guy to come up to me and spill his guts about what he finds erotic? I just expect him not to do anything to me that he finds erotic if he knows that I have no erotic interest in him!
rhiannon, this is one of the two major points on which you have radically flip-flopped. In earlier posts you expressed much concern that the girls
didn't know the guy tickling them was getting a sexual thrill from it. Here are some examples.
On the other hand I think it's pretty creepy to get your jollies off of people who don't know you're into something.
Why doesn't everybody who wonders if they should tell their unsuspecting lees that they have a fetish make a start and tell them they have a fetish and see how they react! Then we could actually hear the reactions! I say it again, there is a REASON why people are so unsure about telling, and why these threads pop up here every few weeks!
if mark gets aroused by tickling them and they are still ok with being tickled
That's the thing here...they can't be okay with it because
they don't know.
You've made it clear with these and numerous other statements that you think it's important for the tickled girls to know when a guy is getting off on tickling them. That alone is enough to infer that if the woman DOESN'T know, she should be told. In fact, in the second example I just quoted, you recommended that Mark tell her "so we could see hear her reactions."
But then you turn around and say you don't expect a guy to spill his guts about what turns him on...that the girls don't need to know.
So which is it? Do they need to know or do they not need to know?
The other thing you flip-flop about is the degree of concern with which you regard this issue. On the one hand you seem very concerned about it...
What worries me about the whole situation is always...well, let's call it the big picture. Fetishes make people uncomfortable for a lot of reasons, and one reason is that they are usually not attached to a sexual context as the majority of people would view it.
This includes the possibility that something sexual is going on and one person in it not being aware of it.
That's part of why a lot of people react uneasy when it comes to fetishes, and if there are a lot of people around who use this non-awareness to get their jollies, it will just further increase the general creepiness of fetishes.
"Don't ask, just tickle!" Four words, great advice!
...which can get you to loose a tooth or two.
Why can't people get it that it's creepy and uncalled for to use people like that without them knowing it?
You even admitted to deliberately using extreme analogies like pedophilia in order to "get people to listen." So imagine my surprise when I see you saying things like...
Of course I can't make a moral statement for everybody! But still I'd like to discuss WHY I believe it's morally wrong
We all enjoy discussions here, but that doesn't come anywhere near explaining the vehemence and urgency with which you attack this issue each and every time it comes up. When I asked you to explain the urgency, you offered this ludicrous excuse,
Because discussions are only fun if people participate. 🙂
Oh, so all the seriousness, urgency, and extreme tactics are just to get people to participate in the discussion? It has nothing to do with you pushing your morals on the rest of us?
He can think whatever he wants about me, but please - no touching with sexual interest in his mind!
Now there's a glaring contradiction in and of itself. If you're excluding sexual interest, then evidently he's not allowed to think whatever he wants about you.
And besides, I thought you said....
It's not about what goes on in your head, it's about what's going on in your pants while you touch them!
But of course, rhiannon's position shifts like the tides.
Not every guy wears pants where the tent is visible right away! 🙂
Not only that, but not every guy is a 17-year-old who sports an erection at the touch of a woman. Even guys who get off on tickling women...If they're past their twenties, chances are they can tickle a woman without a loss of erectile control.
For an example, I'm known among my female friends as a guy who can give a decent massage. When I massage my female friends, I work my way eventually to massaging their feet, their legs, and then....(jackpot)...the ass! Now listen very carefully to this, rhiannon, and make no mistake. I massage their asses because I get a sexual thrill from it. I have no intentions of telling them that I get a totally sexual charge from massaging their asses, and they have no idea because I don't pop a boner until later that evening when I'm savoring the moment in the shower while engaging in offbeat behavior.
So since I don't get a boner while massaging them, does that earn me the not-so-coveted rhiannon stamp of moral approval? After all, you SAID it's all about what goes on in the pants.
Yeah, that makes it more fun to discuss! 🙂 When you start out with opinions, too many people are like "Well, that's your's and that's mine, let's agree to disagree!" Booooooooriiiiiiiiiiiiing! 🙂
Oh really? Then can I assume you were deliberately "Booooooooriiiiiiiiiiiiing" when you told Speedbump this?
I think that's a good final sentence with which we should agree to disagree.
rhiannon, give it up. You're not fooling anybody with this pretense of "oh la dee da, I just like a good discussion." You're clearly bothered by this behavior and you're enough of a control freak to try and discourage those who engage in it.
With most guys I've dealt with, the dick knew that there was sexual arousal occuring before the brain was quite sure about it! But that's just my experience, maybe it changes with age!
Perhaps you need more experience with experienced adults.
