Vintage Scripts (a collection of original amateur screenplays).

[Low_Roads]

Part 3.


Scene Five​

The scene opens inside Hefflefinger Manor. Groucho and Chico enter, followed closely by Frederick, the Hefflefinger butler.

Butler: But gentlemen, gentlemen. You can't go in unannounced.

Bandersnatch: (as he and Chico pile their coats and hats on him) No bellboy tells Aloysius Bandersnatch what to do. (he and Chico proceed farther into the interior.)

Butler: Bellboy? My dear sir...

Bandersnatch: Oh. (he offers Frederick a dime.)

Butler: Sir, I am a butler.

Bandersnatch: Oh. In that case, here's a quarter.

Mozzarelli: (pulling the cigar from Bandersnatch's mouth) Hey, this is a classy joint. You can't smoke that rope in here. (Chico tosses the cigar on the plush carpet and crushes it out with his toe, smashing the ashes into the rug.)

Bandersnatch: Mozzarelli, I've got Christmas ties that aren't as loud and useless as you are. (Groucho strides up to the Countess, whose back is turned, and taps her on the shoulder) Hey, babe. Can you tell me where I can find old lady Hefflefinger?

The Countess indignantly turns around.

Mozzarelli: (to a rapidly departing Groucho) Hey, where do you think you're going, eh?

Bandersnatch: You didn't tell me there was a curse that went with that diamond!

Mozzarelli: Hey, that's no curse. That's the Contessa.

Bandersnatch: (rushing to her arms) Lovey!

Countess: You there--gardener. Do you know this man?

Mozzarelli: Sure. He's Aloysius Bandersnatch, the famous detective.

Bandersnatch: Sez you!

Mozzarelli: This is the Contessa Hefflefinger.

Bandersnatch: I'm charmed. (he bows.)

Countess: I'm delighted.

Bandersnatch: I'm honored. (he bows again.)

Countess: I'm entranced.

Bandersnatch: (who has not straightened up from the last bow) I'm stuck.

Countess: You're a detective?

Mozzarelli: He's as famous as Ellery Queen.

Countess: Oh, I just love Ellery Queen.

Bandersnatch: It won't do you any good--he's got a wife and three kids. Ah, Lavinia! You mean you don't recall those passionate nights on the Riviera? We were young, gay, foolish. I can't forget the first time I laid eyes on you--and don't think I haven't tried. Ah, you always did have a boyish figure--and that's straight from the shoulder.

Chico heads for the bar.

Countess: Sir, I'll have you know I am royalty. Why, I can trace my family tree back to the Hapsburgs.

Bandersnatch: I'm not surprised. I'll bet you can trace your family tree back to when your family lived in it. Listen, toots. I've got a hot tip that some crooks are out to steal that big sparkler of yours.

Countess: Not the Hefflefinger Family Diamond! Oh, whatever can I do?

Bandersnatch: For a modest fee, I might be persuaded to keep an eye on it for you myself.

Countess: Oh would you? Oh, you brave, wonderful man! You just wait right here while I get the diamond.

Exit Countess; Groucho stretches out on the couch.

Mozzarelli: (to butler) Hey, Freddie. Come here.

Countess re-enters with the diamond case and a check.

Countess: I hope this check will be sufficient to cover your fee.

Bandersnatch: (his eyes pop) A paltry sum, but I think I might be able to squeeze by on it.

Countess: And here is the diamond.

She snaps open the case. Groucho is too blinded by its brilliance to even look at it directly, and finally has to resort to peering at it from behind sunglasses.

Bandersnatch: There's more glass in that box than there is in your chandelier. Don't worry, Countess--I'll guard it with his (meaning Chico's) life...and that's putting it pretty cheaply. (at door, he pauses to kiss the Countess' hand; as she demurely turns her head, he whips out a magnifying lens to examine her ring.)

Bandersnatch: Such lovely hands! You must be a musician.

Countess: Well, I do play the piano.

Bandersnatch: I knew it.

Countess: I studied for a year in Paris. Of course, I'm not a virtuoso.

Bandersnatch: Not after a year in Paris, you aren't. Au revoir, my sweet! Mozzarelli!

We see that Chico has just won most of the butler's clothes at cards.

Countess: Frederick! What is the meaning of this outrageous display?

Frederick snaps to attention as Groucho and Chico exit.

Scene Six​

Back at Big Frank Wade's house.

Headline seen in CU:

CRACK SLEUTH
TO GUARD GEM​

Big Frank casts the paper onto the table.

Big Frank: Boys, this calls for a change in tactics.

Scarface: What do you suggest, Boss?

Big Frank: Louie, bring in Miss LaTour. (to Scarface) You can catch more flies with sugar than you can with vinegar. And Miss LaTour bears the fruit of an experienced peddler.

Scarface grins broadly. Miss LaTour enters, all hips in motion.

Big Frank: Cuddles, I want you to get the Hefflefinger Diamond away from this gumshoe. (he indicates newspaper) Do you think you can do it?

Cuddles: Honey, the man hasn't been born who can resist my charms.

All exit. Chico and Harpo rise, phoenix-like, from the seats vacated by Big Frank and Scarface. They also exit, in a great hurry.


Next: Part 4.

 

[Low_Roads]

Part 4.


Scene Seven​

Groucho, clad in a ridiculous smoking jacket, is seen in his apartment, playing with a yo-yo. Cuddles knocks on the door; Groucho answers.

Cuddles: Mr. Bandersnatch, I presume?

Bandersnatch: (bowing) Dr. Livingstone, I presume!

Cuddles: Are you Aloysius Bandersnatch, the famous private eye?

Bandersnatch: If I'm not, I've been paying the wrong bills for twenty years.

Cuddles: My name is Cuddles LaTour.

Groucho bends to kiss her hand--Harpo kicks him from behind (obviously, Chico and Harpo have reached the apartment before Cuddles, and have secured hiding places)--Groucho's head strikes her chest.

Cuddles: Oh, Mr. Bandersnatch! (giggles)

Groucho looks behind him, sees nothing, decides to join her in laughing.

Bandersnatch: (to audience) This dame works fast!

Cuddles: Mr. Bandersnatch, you have to take my case. I'm in great danger.

Bandersnatch: While you're in this apartment, you are.

Cuddles: There's some evil men following me for my money.

Bandersnatch: That's terrible. Why, I'd follow you for nothing. (pause) Money? Did you say you had money?

Cuddles: Why, yes, I fell heir to a tremendous fortune. I'm afraid I'm terribly rich.

Groucho wags his eyebrows to the audience.

Bandersnatch: I've given it some thought, and I've decided to take your case.

Cuddles: Oh, that's wonderful! Oh, I'm so happy! You dear, sweet man. How about coming over here and giving Cuddles a big, juicy kiss? (she shuts her eyes, and puckers up.)

Bandersnatch: Why don't you come over here and give Aloysius a big, juicy kiss? (he shuts his eyes, and puckers up.)

Harpo and Chico race from their hiding place. They both made a bee-line for Cuddles, but Harpo reaches her first, jumping on her as he kisses her. Chico snaps his finger in disgust and very reluctantly pecks Groucho on the cheek. As they open their eyes, Groucho and Cuddles are equally bewildered.

Bandersnatch: Pardon me, did you shave this morning? Why don't we go someplace more private? Ah, there doesn't seem to be anybody on this couch. (they sit.)

Groucho grabs the telephone.

Bandersnatch: (in a hushed tone) Room service? Send up some cheap champagne.

There is a knock on the door. Bandersnatch answers to find Chico.

Mozzarelli: Hey, boss--I got the champagne you ordered.

Bandersnatch: I...I didn't order any champagne.

Mozzarelli: That's okay. I didn't bring any.

Harpo pops out, whistles, and produces a bottle from his coat. He hands it to Chico.

Mozzarelli: Hey, that's nice. (he takes a drink) I'm the house detective--you got a woman in here?

Bandersnatch: (throwing a pillow over Cuddles) What gave you that idea?

Mozzarelli: You no fool me. (sits on pillow) I'm staying right here 'til I get to the bottom of this.

Bandersnatch: Well, offhand I'd say you're right on top of the case.

Cuddles burrows her way out, sputtering.

Mozzarelli: Aha!

Bandersnatch: The longer I know you, the more I depreciate you. Listen, bloodhound, do you mind if we dance?

Mozzarelli: No, I don't mind. (he starts to dance with Groucho.)

Bandersnatch: You're very good, do you know that?

Mozzarelli: Ahhhh...

Cuddles: Ahem.

Groucho switches partners in one fluid movement.

Cuddles: You know, I could go for a guy like you.

Groucho: Ah, 'tis women like you make men like me make women like you make men like me.

Cuddles: Being terribly rich as I am, I'm a woman of expensive tastes, and I just love presents. Don't you have a present you could give me?

Bandersnatch: I'd rather give you a past.

Harpo breaks through the couple in order to get a drink from the bottle--taking the bottle in hand, he retires to his corner of the room, breaking through the ranks once again.

Bandersnatch: You can set your watch by the 8:15.

Harpo takes notice of the phonograph, and with fiendish delight starts changing records--as the music changes, Groucho alters his style of dancing, dragging the helpless Cuddles with him. Finally, Cuddles has enough of the whole thing and breaks from her partner.

Cuddles: I've never been so insulted!

Bandersnatch: Well, it's only 8;20.

Cuddles: You...you...lunatics!

Harpo jumps on her back.

Bandersnatch: (gripping the empty bottle that Harpo has discarded) Wait...hold still...I'll get that orangatang.

He brings the bottle down on Cuddles head, knocking her unconscious.

Bandersnatch: Now you two baboons have done it. (to Harpo) I've got a good mind to knock you conscious. (to both) Go, and never darken the towels of my apartment again.

Harpo knocks Groucho out.

Mozzarelli: Well, it was for his own good. Hey, that was fast work...

Harpo strikes him unconscious. Harpo looks around, sizes up the situation, then hits himself on the head, making sure he lands on top of Cuddles.

Scene Eight​

Back at Big Frank's headquarters.

The scene opens with a close-up of Cuddles, who has bandaged head and an arm in a sling.

Big Frank: This is the last straw. No more Mister Nice Guy. We'll plug those three jokers and take the diamond ourselves.

The miscreants exit.


Next: Conclusion.

 

[Low_Roads]

Part 5.


Scene Nine​

Groucho's apartment. Chico and Groucho are playing the card game "jacks" in the living room, while Harpo, clad in chef's hat and Masonic apron, is frying eggs in the kitchen. Chico keeps winning, as Groucho gets more and more disgusted. Finally, Groucho manages to slap his hand down on the cards in time.

Bandersnatch: Too late! Too late!

Harpo brings out the food. As Groucho tries to start on each item on his plate, it is swiftly snatched away by one of his brothers. Soon, he is reduced to an empty plate.

Bandersnatch: Now that's what I call a Continental breakfast. I didn't get to eat a continental thing.

The miscreants burst into the apartment. Scarface and Louie grab Chico and Groucho.

Scarface: Hey you, hold still.

Mozzarelli: Ah, fotcha motcha tooti minooti...

Bandersnatch: Hey, what's the big idea?

Louie: Shut up!

Bandersnatch: What this guy needs is a check-up from the neck up.

Louie: What's that?

Bandersnatch: Ah, I was only playing.

Big Frank: (who has grabbed Harpo) We'll search this Benedict Arnold first.

Big Frank pulls all sorts of crazy things from Harpo's coat, finally coming out with a snake, which he tosses to Scarface, who in turn throws it in Louie's face.

Mozzarelli: (as Scarface gets the snake) Let's go!

Groucho runs right out of his dressing gown, revealing that he was wearing his frock coat underneath. The brothers exit.

Big Frank: After them, boys!

The miscreants exit.

Scene Ten​

The chase scene which follows will take place in San Francisco, and will contain plenty of sight gags, many of them improvised right on the spot in order to make maximum use of the locations involved. Suffice it to say that the diamond changes hands many times, finally ending up in the possession of the brothers again.

Scene Eleven​

The brothers rush by an old theater displaying a sign reading as follows:

________________

OLD TIME

MINSTREL SHOW

INSIDE
________________​

Mozzarelli: Hey, boss--here's a place for us to hide.

Bandersnatch: Mozzarelli, there may be hope for you yet.

The brothers rush inside. The villains rush up, look around. Scarface points at the theater's main entrance, and they all buy tickets and go inside. The villains look for the brothers, but the brothers see them first and slip backstage. The bothers attempt to exit via the stage door, but it is locked.

Mozzarelli: Those crooks will be back here any minute.

Bandersnatch: (spotting a stage hand using some shoe polish) Not if the show starts, they won't.

The brothers push the stage hand into a barrel and descend on the shoe polish. The music strikes up, and the villains sit down so as not to appear suspicious. On stage, Harpo, in blackface, is obviously shoved reluctantly onto the stage with Chico's foot. Chico follows, with blackface and customary infectious grin. But, absurdity of all possible absurdities, his face black and his eyebrows and mustache painted white, Groucho delightedly prances onto the stage with white top hat and dancer's stage cane. Harpo tries his hand at the banjo, but finds it will produce only harp music for him. Chico does a short piano number. Groucho performs a Jolson-type number. As the brothers start to dance off the stage, Harpo tips his hat, revealing the diamond, and the chase is on again. The villains rush the stage, and the brothers run in three different directions.

Scene Twelve​

Some more chase scene ensues. Finally, we see Louie tracking the brothers through the vegetation in Golden Gate Park. Suddenly, Groucho pops out from the underbrush with the diamond dangling from his head like a harem girl.

Bandersnatch: Boogie! Boogie!

The crook starts after him, aiming his pistol as he goes, when Harpo drops from an overhanging branch and clubs him. The brothers secure him to a nearby tree. Scarface comes upon the same spot. Chico and Groucho pop from the underbrush, swinging the diamond between them.

Mozzarelli and Bandersnatch: (in unison) Nyah-nyah-nyah-nyah-nyah!

Scarface makes the same move as Louie, and Harpo gives him the same prescription. The brothers secure him to the same tree. We see Big Frank come upon the same area in the park. This time, the three brothers converge on him with pistols. The tie him to a tree with his lieutenants.

Bandersnatch: Boys, let's give these dirty crooks just what they deserve.

They squirt the trio with their water pistols.

Bandersnatch: Just what those dirty crooks needed--a bath.

Mozzarelli: Honky, go get us a policeman.

Harpo runs off and finds the same cop that almost arrested the brothers before. He whacks the officer with another brick. The cop recognizes him and gives chase. Harpo leads him to Big Frank and the boys. The brothers watch from the bushes.

Officer: Why, I do declare! Big Frank Wade and the boys. (he unties them) Get moving, you mugs. (to self) I'll get a promotion for this!

The brothers emerge from the bushes, and happily shake hands with each other. Harpo is even so carried away that he hands Groucho his leg. Groucho pushes it down, then in rare good spirits, puts his arms around his brothers in comradeship.

Scene Thirteen​

Headline:

COUNTESS AND DIAMOND
DISAPPEAR; POLICE
COMPLETELY BAFFLED​

Title superimposed over map of South America:

BUENOS AIRES, ARGENTINA​

Sign on building:

__________

CAFE

CARACAS
__________​

A table surrounded by exotic plants. At the table, Bandersnatch and the Countess are seated. At a nearby table, Mozzarelli and Honky are seated.

Bandersnatch: (to waiter) Do you have any wild duck?

Waiter: No, sir.

Bandersnatch: Then bring us a tame one and I'll aggravate it. (to Countess) Oh, Lavinia, I love you. It's the same old story--a man and a woman; Romeo and Juliet; Rosencrantz and Guildenstern; Abbott and Costello; Burke and Hare.

Countess: Do you really love me, Aloysius?

Bandersnatch: Yes, yes. I'll never leave you.

An Argentinean maiden passes the tables. Mozzarelli and Honky bound after her. Bandersnatch ducks under the table, and emerges with a suitcase in each hand and a set of golf clubs slung over his shoulder. He joins Mozzarelli and Honky in their pursuit of the young lady. Fade out.

THE END​

Next: "Doorway to the Past".

 

[Low_Roads]

Doorway to the Past.

Better than ten years separate these two versions of GM's eon-spanning sci-fi epic. The first resulted in finished cinema, completed in the late '60s (well before I'd ever met him) and featuring members of his same stock troupe who'd thesped in Dr. Malvado's Chamber of Evil and Ape on the Loose. It was a rather elementary affair, about 5 minutes in length and quite entertaining in its simplicity. Departure into remote eons was accomplished via jump cutting (now you see him, now you don't), while the climactic Tyrannosaurus chase featured a convincing-looking replica from a miniature golf course, the upper half of which alone was framed to disguise its static nature and fairy tale surroundings. The script presented below served dubbing purposes and eschews almost all non-narrative descriptive data (voice and music were recorded onto a cassette tape, which had to be synced up when the film was run). As far as my researches have thus far revealed, no fuller version of this screenplay exists; I include it primarily to contrast with the second, more extensive, script.

The proposed remake of Doorway to the Past was written in the middle 70s and was meant to take advantage of sound camera equipment GM had acquired. We actually did use it to film the opening and closing sequences, the only footage shot. As was often the case in GM projects, use was made of a theatrical set, one for a college production of You Can't Take it With You. We'd each of us collected a goodly selection of dinosaur models, which were set to appear as the prehistoric menaces by means of foreground forced perspective. GM would have played Gregory Stockbridge, as in the earlier version; I was slated for the role of Rex. Filming wouldn't have required more than a couple of weekends, and it's rather a shame it never took place. I had weighty responsibilities in the afore-mentioned college play, having been professionally contracted to build the set and stage manage. I'm sure that's what got in the way.

DOORWAY TO THE PAST

a screenplay by GM​

Characters:

Dexter
Rex
Betty
Stockbridge


Narration:

To Whom It May Concern... My name is Gregory Stockbridge. If my expedition and I survive our venture, this tape will be destroyed. If you are hearing these words, we are all dead.

My crew includes Betty Craig, geologist... Vladimir Dexter, botanist… my brother, Rex Stockbridge... and myself, an archaeologist...

We are about to begin a bold adventure... The transgression of time via a time warp... An invisible rip in the fabric of time... A doorway to the past...

(Main title and credits.)

I decided to go first. I instructed Rex to follow with the others.

We decided it would be best if we split up and meet back at the same site in an hour.

I discovered the remnants of an ancient, prehistoric culture.

It was Dexter who discovered Rex's crushed body.

(Dinosaur chases trio back into time warp.)

(End credits.)

* * *


Doorway to the Past

a screenplay by
GM​

(Gregory Stockbridge sits before a desk, speaking into a tape recorder. Artifacts [dinosaur models, petrified bone, shriveled plant matter, jarred soil samples] are scattered about the machine.)

Greg: November 25th, 1997… my name is Gregory Stockbridge III. In 1977, I became one of the first human beings to pierce the time barrier and plant my feet on the soil of an era that was not my own. At the request of the United States government, I hereby end my silence of twenty years. This tape contains a detailed account of the Stockbridge-Van Horn Expedition into prehistoric North America.

The time machine was the invention of John "Pop" Preston, based on his own unorthodox theories of time and space. It was decided that Pop would remain in the present to operate the complex apparatus.

(Stockbridge briefs the crew with dinosaur diagrams.)

Greg: (voice-over) My background in paleontology qualified me to lead the expedition. Second-in-command was my half-brother, Rex Van Horn. Rex and I had used large portions of our respective inheritances to finance Pop Preston's research.

My brother was a big-game hunter, pure and simple. The world was his classroom. While I was squinting at dusty bones in classrooms, Rex was busy felling his first elephant in Africa.

Jaded with the conquests this world had to offer, Rex was as eager as I to make the first-hand acquaintance of our prehistoric friends.

Doctors Elizabeth Craig and Vladimir Dexter--a geologist and botanist, respectively--were old college chums. I surmised they would be interested in this venture, and I was quickly proved correct. When contacted, both insisted on being members of the expedition.

It was decided that Rex would be the first to enter the man-made time warp.

Pop: When you reach your destination, activate this device. The signal it produces will turn on this light, indicating that you're safe.

Rex: But all our tests were positive.

Pop: Merely a safety precaution. If it doesn't light up, I can pull you back here immediately.

Greg: Rex, I wish you'd let me go first.

Rex: No, little brother. This expedition was my idea, so the risk should be mine. Firstly, I have to do something to justify my position as 2nd-in-command. Secondly, you have a brilliant career ahead of you. If something goes wrong… no one will miss me.

Greg: I will, Rex.

(Rex smiles and pats Greg's arm.)

Rex: (to Preston) Ready, Pop?

Pop: Ready as I'm going to be.

(Rex steps into the machine and dons blinders. All others don protective goggles.)

(Rex is transmitted to the other side. He presses the devise, lighting the console. All look relieved. Greg exchanges goggles for blinders and enters the machine. Fade out.)

(In the past, our intrepid band tops a rise. Stockbridge points. All turn to see a Stegosaurus happily feeding on swamp plants.)

Greg: (voice-over) We had only an hour before Pop brought us back to the time chamber. We split into two groups, in order that we might cover a larger area.

(The two groups go their separate ways.)

(Elizabeth and Gregory wander about gathering rocks and bones. As they top a rise, a shrill cry pierces the silence. A Pteranodon swoops at Liz and Greg. A claw rakes Greg's leg. Liz fires a few shots at it.)

Greg: (voice-over) Luck was with us. Either the shots scared the Pteranodon away, or it was just being playful. In any case, my leg was never to be the same again.

In the meantime, Rex and Vlad had found their way to a lush glade.

(In a clearing, Vlad gathers plants while Rex spies a Wooly Mammoth. He shoulders his rifle. Suddenly, Vlad is downed by a giant claw.)

(A mighty roar splits the air. Rex turns in time to see a Tyrannosaurus munching on the bloody remains of Vladimir. He discharges his rifle into the colossus, but it presses relentlessly on. Rex screams.)

(Greg and Liz hear the cry.)

(Liz and Greg rush to the scene, only to be confronted by the half-eaten corpses. Liz becomes violently ill. Dazed, Greg kneels next to Rex's body.)

(The roar comes again. Foliage on three sides, the Tyrannosaurs has Liz and Greg trapped. Greg and Liz empty their guns to no effect. Doomed, he and Liz hide their faces in each other's arms.)

(The monster bends down.)

(CU of Liz and Greg in the clinch. Long seconds pass. Nothing happens. They break, and the camera zooms out to reveal they are back in the time chamber.)

(Pop slowly removes his protective glasses.)

(Back to 1997…)

Greg: With Rex and Vladimir dead, we lost all heart in the experiments. Pop dismantled the machines, and the three of us tried to forget, tried to pick up the pieces of our shattered lives.

Now government scientists have uncovered the same principles Pop Preston applied to his time machine so long ago. I can only hope the results will be far happier. Gregory Stockbridge… Nov. 25, 1997.

(He shuts off the tape recorder. One of the bones from long ago catches his attention and he falls to regarding it. Fade out.)

Fin​

Next: "Spectacles of Doom".

 

[Low_Roads]

Spectacles of Doom.

More of my own writing for a change! It's not a screenplay but a teleplay, crafted for GM's Commander Duck TV show. I'd already written and directed several episodes; this 6-parter would have been my most ambitious contribution by far. The title may seem familiar; a few years back, I assembled the abandoned parts of this "static cartoon" into graphic novel format and submitted it to the Non-tk Artwork section of the forum (those interested can check it out here: http://www.tickletheater.com/showthread.php?t=28821). But the story was originally intended to be shot live action. Production history had been a tad chaotic; I'd written up a number of differing drafts, this one being the most presentable. The bulk of its scripted dialogue would have served only as suggestion, since acting for the show was improvised; the narration, on the other hand (applied post-production), was meant to be followed to the letter. My graphic novel turned out to be considerably more expansive and dramatic than the teleplay ever could have allowed for, so I've got no gripes about the way things turned out; I find it impossible not to contemplate the production that would have resulted from this script, however.

Spectacles of Doom

Chapter 1.
"Curse of the Octopoid"​

Opening titles and credits.

Story title: the log-book of the X-Minus-Zero sits on a velvet drape, closed.

Narration: (off-screen) This is the log-book of the space station X-Minus-Zero. Tonight, we delve deep into its pages to bring you a tale of ancient alien terror. We present:

Book is opened to title: "Spectacles of Doom".

Narration: "Spectacles of Doom"! Chapter one: "Curse of the Octopoid".

1. Planet Mars.

Narration: This is the planet Mars... planet of mystery... planet of dead civilizations.

2. Surface of Mars. Prof. Trapezoid and Lucius survey the landscape.

Narration: Here, in a minor tributary of its once mighty system of canals, Prof. Augustus Trapezoid and his youthful nephew Lucius search for the ruined city of Tin-Tin-Qual.

Prof: It's hopeless, Lucius. Simply hopeless.

3. Red sky of Mars. Lucius stands alone, calling for his uncle to come down and join him. Enter the Professor, pouring over a map of the region (purchased from a suspect, unscrupulous source), which is supposed to show the location of Tin-Tin-Qual, lost city of Qual the Magnificent, fabled warlord of Mars. The Professor is interested in finding the ruins for more than just the satisfaction of archeological curiosity: he is ultimately seeking the Qual-Macq scrolls, documents which (legends say) mention the location of a weapon said to have been the most ghastly device of its time, so that he can study its effect and then neutralize it, thus rendering the device harmless and saving humanity from itself. The explorers are about to search further, when a low rumbling roar attracts their attention.

4. High angle shot of Professor and Lucius on the Martian soil. The growling grows in intensity, as the octopoid's head and shoulders rear into the foreground.

5. Same as 3. The Professor muses in mild wonder at the fascinating, deadly creature. Lucius is more practical (also terrified), and suggests they run for their lives. The Professor acquiesces.

6. Martian landscape. The octopoid shambles through the frame in pursuit of the off-screen humans.

7. Zoom forward shot, traveling with Prof. Trapezoid and Lucius, as they run toward a cave entrance.

Shots 6 and 7 are covered by the following voice-over:

Prof: Well, the least you could do is wait up for me!

Lucius: This way, Unc! There's a cave where we can hide!

8. Black interior of cavern. Prof. Trapezoid and Lucius back in, away from the entrance, staring in horror at the huge off-screen monster, whose shadow falls upon them.

9. Interior of cavern (Trapezoid and Lucius in foreground), looking out cavern mouth at octopoid, which tries to claw its way in. It eventually gives up and leaves.

10. Same as 8. The Professor notices that they are not in a cavern, but a temple. He realizes that this must be all that remains of the city of Tin-Tin-Qual. He sends Lucius (edgy at the prospect of locating other hostile life-forms inside the temple) to look in one direction, while he searches the floor before him. Almost at once, he locates a cylindrical glass container bearing Qual's imperial seal. Inside are the Qual-Macq scrolls. The Professor is delighted, and suggests that they return to the ship immediately, and then to the space station, where the scrolls can be fully translated. Lucius is hesitant, but the octopoid seems to be gone and he agrees that they should leave the protection of the ruins. They exit.

11. Space station X-Minus-Zero, Earth in background.

Narration: Meanwhile, a scant hundred million miles away, on the space station X-Minus-Zero, Commander Duck has great problems of his own.

12. Magic Room. Troppo is delivering the punchline of a joke to the Commander and Quincy. The Commander is edgy, due to the fact that the space station brig is swollen with prisoners awaiting transport to various prisons throughout the galaxy. Particularly worrisome to him is the fact that a particularly nasty villain, Caligula Jones, is incarcerated in one of the cells. The Commander fears a jail-break at any moment. Troppo poo-poos the whole idea, and does some magic tricks to try to break the Commander's gloomy mood. The Commander is just getting interested, when the emergency klaxon sounds. The Commander nearly jumps out of his skin, until he hears Mr. Uultarre explain that this call is to announce that the Professor has not arrived back from his expedition to Mars.

Commander: What, again? Is he going to do that every hour on the hour?

The Commander sends Quincy to the bridge to give Uultarre a hand (and a lecture), while Troppo tries to get the Commander interested in another joke.

13. Brig. Nicodemus Rex, in his prison uniform, blusters that he is king of the cell-block and no one had better get in his way. Enter Caligula Jones, un-uniformed. He growls at Nicodemus to get out of his way. Nicodemus tries to buddy up to Jones, but:

Jones: I don't like lizards.

Nicodemus, cowed, scurries away. Enter General Mourg, a deposed military dictator, headed for a life term on a prison asteroid. He observes that Jones does not wear the customary prison uniform.

Jones: There's no one onboard this whole ship tough enough to force me into one of those prison rags!

Mourg offers Jones $500,000,000 in any element he chooses if Jones will liberate him from the space station cell. Jones considers the offer. A pig-snouted prisoner enters from behind them, sits, and starts playing a laconic (but noisy) tune on a harmonica. Jones is increasingly annoyed, until:

Jones: (turning) Hey, you! You like playing music?

Pig-Face: (uncertainly) Yeah.

Jones: How'd you like to learn to play a harp! (Pig-Face jumps) Get out of here!

Jones finally decides he wants out of this irritating rat-hole. He warns Mourg that he had better get his money.

14. Mars from space.

15. Prof. Trapezoid and Lucius, once more in the open, make their way toward their rocket. Just as the Professor says, "So far, so good.", the roar of the off-screen octopoid is heard.

16. Long shot of the Professor and Lucius, facing the octopoid.

17. Same as 15. The Professor and Lucius run for their lives. Wipe off.

18. Wipe on Magic Room. Troppo is finishing his joke.

Troppo: ...so, the first guy says, "What did you do that for? All I did was say, 'the Milky Way!' "The Milky Way! Slowly I turned..."

Commander: (backing away) Okay! Okay, I get the idea!

The emergency klaxon sounds again, and the Commander jumps. As he listens, Mr. Uultarre explains that the Professor has arrived at the space station. The Commander complains that he had sent Quincy up to prevent this kind of abuse of the inter-ship communications channels. Evidently, he himself will have to go to the Bridge to take personal charge. Exit Commander.

19. Corridor. Enter Commander, griping to himself about the incompetence of his crew. Lythia enters soon after, asking about the Commander's problem. The Commander starts to complain about Mr. Uultarre, when the klaxon sounds again. The Commander is about to blow his stack, when Uultarre actually does announce the much-feared prison break. The Commander is completely flustered. He and Lythia rush off to put down the escape attempt.

20. Docking Bay. Professor Trapezoid hands Quincy the Qual-Macq scrolls, telling Quincy that he has had time to do only a partial translation of the valuable documents in the rocket, after his and Lucius's narrow escape from the octopoid. He wants Quincy to secure the scrolls until he has had time to join Lucius in the decontamination chamber.

Quincy: You mean you haven't been through decontamination yet?!

Prof: Those scrolls are my first priority, young man! I want to make sure that they're completely safe first!

Quincy: (backing away from the Professor) Gee, thanks for telling me about this now!

At that moment, the emergency klaxon sounds and Mr. Uultarre warns the Docking Bay of the prison break. Without thinking, Quincy rushes away to help, still clutching the Qual-Macq scrolls.

Prof: Quincy! Wait! Store those scrolls away first! (to himself) Goodness! If those documents were to fall into the wrong hands, it could be the end of civilized life as we know it!

21. Long shot, space station.

Narration: A hoard of crazed convicts, loose aboard the X-Minus-Zero! Can Commander Duck and his Quacketeers contain this threat? And what of the hideous menace mentioned in the Qual-Macq scrolls? To see, tune in next week for chapter 2 of our 6-part story, "Spectacles of Doom"!

22. Log-book, open to title: "Next week..."

23. Preview.

Shots 22 and 23 are covered by the following narration:

Narration: In our next installment of "Commander Duck and the Quacketeers", the orbiting space station is turned into an arena of terror, as liberated felon battles dedicated crew member for control of the X-Minus-Zero! This and more, in chapter 2 of "Spectacles of Doom": "Terror Ship!"


Next: Episode 2.

 

[Low_Roads]

Chapter 2.
"Terror Ship!"​

Opening titles and credits.

Story title: the log-book of the X-Minus-Zero sits on a scarlet drape, closed.

Narration: (off-screen) This is the log-book of the space station X-Minus-Zero. Tonight, we delve deep into its pages to bring you a tale of ancient alien terror. We present:

Book is opened to title: "Spectacles of Doom".

Narration: "Spectacles of Doom"! Chapter 2: "Terror Ship!"

1. Recap 1: 1/10.

Narration: In our last episode, Prof. Trapezoid and his nephew, Lucius, discovered the Qual-Macq scrolls: manuscripts which tell the location of a terrifying weapon.

2. Recap 2: 1/13.

Narration: Meantime, in the brig of the space station X-Minus-Zero, the vicious criminal Caligula Jones had planned a mass escape.

3. Recap 3: 1/21.

Narration: Thus, the stage was set. As soon as the Professor handed over the scrolls to Spaceman First Class Quincy Quack for safe-keeping, word of the jailbreak arrived. Quincy hurried to his station, placing not only himself in danger, but the ancient documents as well.

4. Corridor. Enter the Commander and Lythia. They stop, as the Commander receives a call on his personal communicator. He is informed that the escaped prisoners have already taken the bridge and the armory, and thus are both armed and in control of the space station. The Commander sends Lythia back the way they came, to try to find other crew members. After she has parted, one of the convicts enters behind him with a blaster. Holding the Commander at gun-point, the villain demands the surrender of the ship. A commotion is heard off-screen and before the convict can turn to defend himself, Mr. Uultarre rushes in and pins his arms. The Commander claims the purloined gun, then instructs Uultarre to return the prisoner to his cell. Uultarre describes the battle on the Bridge and how he and the other crew members had no choice but to retreat. The Commander reaffirms his faith in his Chief of Engineering, and Uultarre exits.

5. Docking Bay. Enter Quincy, armed and with the scrolls (he is oblivious to their presence.) Suddenly, Jones appears before him. For and instant, Quincy is frozen by shock.

Quincy: C-C-Caligaly Jones!

Jones: The name is Caligula! Caligula!

Quincy raises the gun in an attempt to fire, but Jones brings his lightning-fast reflexes into play, and snatches the weapon away. He then leisurely bops the young Spaceman on the head, rendering him unconscious. Enter Mourg. Jones spies a likely ship for escape purposes, but Mourg has seen and examined the Qual-Macq scrolls. As coincidence would have it, Mourg's native language derives from the Martian language of Qual's time (his planet was once an Imperial province of Mars,) and he can understand much of the text. Jones is ambivalent about this new development, but is finally swayed by Mourg's talk of galaxy-wide domination. They exit for the cruiser they intend to steal. Its engines are heard igniting off-screen.

6. Space. The cruiser is seen lowering into the frame, then blasting away.

Mourg: Will we have time to make good our escape?

Jones: Ha! Duck and his crew will be tied up for hours cleaning up that mess I left 'em!

7. Corridor. A reptilian alien stalks about with a heavy sword. Enter Lythia, who orders him to return to his prison cell. The lizard boasts of his prowess with edged weapons, A duel ensues, with Lythia the victor. With the point of her blade at his back, she escorts the ex-prisoner back into prisondom.

8. Bridge. The Commander supervises the clean-up, after a hard-fought battle with the opposing forces. Now that the Bridge is retaken, only a handful of escapees remains, scattered and disorganized, throughout the ship. What worries the Commander is that Caligula Jones is among the unaccounted-for. Red passes by with a prisoner he is escorting to the brig. Enter Quincy, still shaken from his trip to dreamland. He reports having seen Jones in the Docking Bay. The Commander contacts a search party and instructs them to search there (he misses the implication that Jones may have taken one of the cruisers.) He warns that Jones is now armed with Quincy's blaster. When the Commander is finished with his instructions, Quincy admits to having lost the Professor's archeological find. He is afraid that the Professor will be angry, but:

Commander: Well, there was no help for it. You did the right thing, Quincy, reacting immediately to an emergency call. The Professor will just have to learn that his special projects have low priority in a crisis situation.

Enter Mr. Uultarre, who needs help controlling the prisoners down at the cell block. The Commander sends Quincy with him.

9. Magic Room. Troppo is alone, listening to the search reports over inter-ship communications, commenting that this seems to be a busy day. Enter the Professor, with blaster, looking for escapees (actually, more on the look-out for Quincy and the scrolls.) He is appalled that Troppo has taken no measures to defend himself. Troppo displays a pair of handcuffs. The Professor is further appalled and departs. Soon after Prof. Trapezoid leaves, one of the prisoners does enter, armed with an axe. Troppo tries to persuade the badman to slip on the manacles. The villain considers for a moment, then sharply objects:

Convict: Hey! What do you think I am, stupid?

Troppo is forced to put on the handcuffs instead. When the irons are firmly affixed, and Troppo has placed his hands under a cloth, the Professor returns, covering the convict with his gun. The prisoner tells the scientist not to shoot or he will use his axe on the clown. At this point, Troppo magically removes his freed hands from the cloth and snatches the axe away. The Professor escorts the weaponless prisoner to incarceration.

10. Corridor (outside the brig.) Quincy and Mr. Uultarre are over-seeing the re-interment of the escapees. Enter the Professor, with his recent capture. Mr. Uultarre gruffly points the prisoner toward a cell (off-screen.) The Professor confronts Quincy, telling him that he has been looking for him, and demands the scrolls. Quincy is forced to explain what has happened. The Professor is frantic. He states that Quincy has just placed the future of the entire free universe in jeopardy. Quincy (rather patronizingly) says that he will explain that to the Commander. The Professor goes to check on the Docking Bay and tells Quincy he will address the crew via inter-ship in a few moments. Both exit.

11. Bridge. The Commander is lecturing the oldest prison inmate, Nicodemus Rex. When he is finished, Lucius marches Nic away to the Brig. The Commander checks a list of recovered prisoners, noting edgily that Jones is still at large. Enter Quincy, who reports that no more escapees are to be found onboard the space station. It doesn't make any sense to the Commander (they still can't figure out that someone may have swiped a ship,) but Quincy changes the subject, describing the Professor's actions. He repeats the Professor's words about his having placed the future of the entire free universe in jeopardy. The Commander is peeved at the Professor's evidently petty self-interest. At that moment, the Professor's voice is heard on the loud-speaker. Quincy and the Commander turn to watch.

12. Lab. Prof. Trapezoid is being seen on a video screen and addresses the camera directly. He describes the way Quincy allowed his treasured Qual-Macq scrolls to be stolen, how he (the Professor) checked the Docking Bay, only to find space cruiser #1 stolen, and how two prisoners...

Prof: ...some seedy ex-despot named Mourg and notorious space-bum Caligula Jones...

...have not yet been accounted for. The conclusion is obvious. Jones and Mourg have translated the scrolls (the Professor, remember, was only able to make a partial translation,) and are heading for the unknown location of the fabled ancient terror-weapon: The Medusa Specs!

13. Same as 11. The Commander and Quincy stare blankly at the screen.

Duck: Well, Quincy, it looks as though you have placed the future of the entire free universe in jeopardy.

Quincy gives him a sour look. The Commander comes out of his abstraction.

Duck: I'm sorry, Quincy. That kind of language was uncalled for.

But it is their responsibility to retrieve the scrolls and the escapees. The Commander sends Quincy to ready the one remaining cruiser for flight. Wipe off.

14. Cruiser traveling through space.

15. Cruiser interior. The Commander pilots the ship, accompanied by Quincy and Lythia. He tells them that since only the one cruiser remains, and since they have no idea in what direction Jones and Mourg headed, he wants them to consult an old acquaintance of his: Prince Palomar, the only person who might be able to locate the dreaded resting place of the Medusa Specs. Duck has preset the course to Palomar's asteroid into their cruiser. The ship will need minimum navigation. In the meantime, so that no time will be lost, they are heading for Earth, where the Commander is hoping to enlist the aid of Mr. Celluloid and his personal space ship. While Quincy and Lythia are obtaining the needed information, Mr. Celluloid and the Commander will attempt to follow the ion trail left by Jones's purloined rocket. Quincy in uncertain about the plan. He says that Mr. Celluloid is allergic to danger and is not sure that he will help. The Commander is more confident, but on reflection tells them to maroon him on Earth so that Mr. Celluloid will be more inclined to offer his services.

16. Antarctica: Mr. Celluloid's igloo. The sound of the cruiser landing (off-screen) is heard.

17. The blue sky of Earth. Mr. Celluloid enters and watches as the off-screen cruiser lifts off, then greets the Commander as he approaches. The Commander explains his need of transport, and the movie expert says he's happy to oblige. They exit toward Mr. Celluloid's ship.

18. Shot of rocket blasting off.

Narration: What dangers will the Commander and Mr. Celluloid encounter in their quest to stop Caligula Jones? And who is this mystery man, Prince Palomar? What strange powers does he possess? Tune in next week for episode 3 of our 6-part story, "Spectacles of Doom"!

19. Title: "Next week..."

20. Preview. Narration: Next time, on "Commander Duck and the Quacketeers", Quincy and Lythia must face the savage Malachite man-killer, guard of the black asteroid fortress of Prince Palomar, in chapter 3 of "Spectacles of Doom", "Master of the Stars"!


Next: Episode 3.

 

[Low_Roads]

Chapter 3.
"Master of the Stars"​

Opening titles and credits.

Story title: the log-book of the X-Minus-Zero sits on a scarlet drape, closed.

Narration: (off-screen) This is the log-book of the space station X-Minus-Zero. Tonight, we delve deep into its pages to bring you a tale of ancient alien terror. We present:

Book is opened to title: "Spectacles of Doom".

Narration: "Spectacles of Doom"! Chapter 3: "Master of the Stars".

1. Recap 1: 2/5.

Narration: In our previous episode, the Qual-Macq scrolls, historical records which tell the location of the terrifying weapon, the Medusa Specs, are purloined by escaped prisoners Caligula Jones and General Mourg.

2. Recap 2: 2/15.

Narration: Commander Duck, accompanied by Quincy and the magic elf, Lythia, travel to the planet Earth to enlist the aid of Sprocket H. Celluloid, one of the Commander's many Terran acquaintances.

3. Recap 3: 2/18.

Narration: So, while Quincy and Lythia go to consult Prince Palomar, a mysterious sage, as to the possible destination of the fleeing convicts, the Commander and Mr. Celluloid blast off with the dangerous assignment of bringing the felons to justice.

4. Space station X-Minus-Zero.

5. Lab. The Professor plays musical rivets on his on-going in-house project, Fred-16, the giant robot. Enter Lucius, who chides the Professor for not taking his responsibilities seriously. After all, the Commander did leave him in joint command of the X-Minus-Zero with Troppo. The Professor is pissed-off in not being put in sole command, and therefore refuses to participate in any crew activity until the Commander's return. Lucius changes the subject. He questions whether it was a good idea for the Commander to seek help from an incompetent like Mr. Celluloid. The Professor states that it wouldn't matter if Celluloid was a total moron: it was Celluloid's cruiser that was the prime consideration. Obviously, the Commander wouldn't choose Celluloid as a companion unless it was absolutely necessary. Lucius asks why. The Professor replies:

Prof: ...because Mr. Sprocket H. Celluloid just isn't responsible.

6. Cruiser, traveling through space.

7. Interior of cruiser. Quincy pilots the ship, Lythia looks over his shoulder. Soon, their destination can be seen out the view-plate.

8. Zoom in on Prince Palomar's asteroid.

Lythia: (off-screen) My, what a desolate-looking abode!

9. Close-up. Asteroid moves into frame from right to left, while the cruiser drops into frame.

10. Same as 7. Quincy maneuvers the cruiser into good landing position. Once the ship is set down and secured, he and Lythia exit for the air-lock.

Quincy: Remember, let me do the talking.

11. Surface of asteroid, outside Prince Palomar's fortress. Black sky. A huge Malachite warrior guards the entrance. Enter Quincy and Lythia, who stare in wonder at the sights surrounding them. Quincy comes face-to-face with the Malachite, who demands an explanation for the intrusion. Quincy states that they demand an audience with Prince Palomar. The Malachite replies that anyone looking for Palomar must face his steel first. He hefts his huge axe, and Lythia unsheathes her broad, machete-like sword. A deadly duel ensues, while Quincy does his best to stay away from the vicious thrusts.

12. Celluloid's rocket ship, traveling through space.

13. Rocket ship interior. While Celluloid pilots the ship, the Commander mans a scanner, looking vainly for traces of the stolen cruiser's passage. Soon, Mr. Celluloid notices something distressing: his fuel is almost exhausted. The Commander is mildly miffed. Celluloid is sure he had plenty of fuel when they blasted off (he didn't check, of course.) The Commander scans immediate space, and locates a floating chunk of ore that gives off a favorable radium reading. He then prepares to exit the ship to collect the valuable fuel source.

14. X-Minus-Zero.

15. Magic Room. Troppo does a few magic tricks. Standing as a mute audience to the entertainment, is Fred-16. Enter the Professor. He tells Troppo that he's tired of running the space station all by himself, and he wants Troppo to come up to the Bridge and do his fair share. Troppo explains that he was entertaining the robot.

Prof: So, that's where he's gotten to!

The Professor berates Troppo, telling him that Fred-16 has no feelings, that he is just a machine, and could not possibly enjoy a show. They exit. After they have gone, Fred-16 claps methodically in appreciation. Wipe off.

16. Wipe on. Same as 11. The battle between Lythia and the Malachite rages, neither of them able to gain an advantage. Suddenly, a voice sounds from off-screen, addressing the Malachite:

Palomar: That's enough. Let them pass. They are obviously not going to leave.

The guard immediately assumes his former nonaggressive attitude.

Palomar: Well, don't just stand there. If you're coming in, hurry it up.

17. Interior of Palomar's fortress. Prince Palomar sits, center. Enter Quincy and Lythia. Quincy explains that they were sent by Commander Duck. Palomar says they should have said so to begin with, that he and the Commander go "way back." Quincy further explains that they need to locate the two desperate escapees, and the Commander seemed to think that Palomar could do the job.

Palomar: Of course, children. I'll show you why Duck sent you to me. For, I am Prince Palomar, Master of the Stars! Observe that screen, yonder.

Palomar gestures to the (off-screen) screen before them.

18. Reverse of 17, facing screen. Various space scenes flash into existence. Soon, the image of Celluloid's stalled rocket ship flashes on. Quincy recognizes it and is happy to see that Celluloid and Duck are hard at work. None of them realize what trouble the two are in.

19. Interior of Celluloid's rocket ship. The Commander is prepared to exit the ship. He is in a pressure suit, and carries a space helmet. Mr. Celluloid notices that the Commander has some white tablets. He asks if the recent trouble has given the Commander a headache for which he has to take some aspirins. The Commander explains that the pills are not aspirins, but oxygen pills. Celluloid suggests that perhaps he should go along to help with the fuel gathering. The Commander insists that this operation is completely routine and he should require no assistance. Exit Commander Duck.

20. Rocket ship stalled in space, with asteroids in background. The Commander rises into the frame and heads toward the asteroid he wants.

21. Close-up of asteroid. Enter Commander, floating. He feels the surface of the rock, until he finds the proper vein, then chips it out with a pick. He places the radium in a metal case and prepares to head back to the ship, when the asteroid commences to shudder.

22. Asteroid and Commander. The asteroid spins around, revealing blazing eyes and a gaping set of jaws.

Commander: Grand Mallard! A meteor monster!

23. Spiral.

Narration: The Commander alone and face-to-face with a monster of the deep void! How will he escape this deadly predicament? Be sure to tune in next week for episode 4 of our 6-part story, "Spectacles of Doom"!

24. Title: "Next week..."

25. Preview.

Narration: In our next installment of "Commander Duck and the Quacketeers", the Commander is forced to do battle with the dreaded meteor monster. This and more, in chapter 4 of "Spectacles of Doom", "Meteor Menace"!


Next: Episode 4.

 

[Low_Roads]

Chapter 4.
"Meteor Menace"​

Opening titles and credits.

Story title: "Spectacles of Doom."

Narration: "Spectacles of Doom." Chapter 4: "Meteor Menace."

1. Recap 1: 2/5.

Narration: As you'll remember, Caligula Jones and his cohort, General Mourg, deadly criminals, have escaped the space station Brig. They took with them an ancient document which tells the location of the Medusa Specs, a legendary terror-weapon.

2. Recap 2: 3/18.

Narration: Spaceman First Class Quincy Quack, accompanied by the magic elf, Lythia, journey to the black asteroid abode of Prince Palomar (known as "Master of the Stars") who can scan any point in the known universe on his cosmic viewing screen. There, they attempt to locate the malefactors, so that Commander Duck can take them into custody.

3. Recap 3: 3/22.

Narration: In the meantime, the Commander, in search of fuel for his rocket, has enraged a monster of the deep void: a meteor monster!

4. Prince Palomar's castle.

5. Interior of castle. Quincy and Lythia, flanking Prince Palomar, observe the (off-screen) viewer. Lythia comments that they are not getting very far very fast. Palomar councils patience.

6. Reverse of 4, facing view-screen. Several more astronomical wonders are seen, until the planet Vesquu flashes into being. The very next scene, the surface of Vesquu, reveals Jones's stolen cruiser. Quincy is elated, and says he must contact the Commander immediately.

7. Celluloid's rocket ship, frozen in space.

8. The Commander (suited) floats in space. Into the foreground, rises the meteor monster.

9. Black background. The Commander draws his weapon and fires at the creature (off-screen,) which roars in pain. He exits.

10. Medium shot of the meteor beast, shaken by the blast. It recovers and charges off-screen after the Commander.

11. Interior of Mr. Celluloid's rocket. Celluloid sits at the communications console, having just received a call.

Mr. Celluloid: (into communicator) Really? No kidding? That's just great! He'll be happy to hear that...

Celluloid is interrupted by the sound of the Commander entering the ship. Celluloid politely breaks communications.

Commander: Mr. Celluloid!

Celluloid: (noticing commotion) Okay, thanks a lot. (hangs up.)

Commander: Mr. Celluloid--

Celluloid: Commander, have I got news for you!

Commander: I've got news for you! You've got to get us out of here!

Celluloid: Commander, I--

Commander: I've already put the fuel in the power unit. Get us out of here! GET US OUT OF HERE NOW!!!

Celluloid: Oh. Okay.

Celluloid puts rocket in gear.

12. Long shot of rocket. It moves out of reach, just as the meteor monster zooms in to attack.

13. Same as 11. Celluloid puts ship on automatic and turns to the out-of-breath Commander:

Celluloid: What's the matter, Commander?

Commander: Mr. Celluloid, didn't you see any of what just happened out there?

Celluloid: Commander, you told me this would be routine. Besides, I got a phone call. What did happen?

Commander: Just never mind. I don't want to discuss it. (pause) Phone call? What phone call?

Celluloid explains that Quincy had called to say that Jones and Mourg were on the planet Vesquu. The Commander switches on the communicator and contacts the Professor on the X-Minus-Zero. Wipe off.

14. Wipe on X-Minus-Zero.

15. Bridge. The Professor is trying to contact the rest of the crew, without any good results. Enter Quincy and Lythia. The Professor is glad to see them, since he needs to get the space station personnel together so that he can organize defenses in the event that Commander Duck fails to stop Caligula Jones, as per the Commander's instructions. He sends Quincy and Lythia to round up crew members personally. They exit, and the Professor goes back to the communicator.

16. Magic Room. Troppo is entertaining Mr. Uultarre and Red. Enter Lythia, who initially intends to get them rounded up for the Professor, but becomes fascinated by the magic. Troppo finishes his act. Lythia then tells them about the assembly the Professor has planned. They exit, all in different directions.

17. Slow zoom in on the planet Vesquu.

Commander: (voice-over) That's it, Mr. Celluloid. The planet Vesquu!

18. Surface of Vesquu, Jones's stolen cruiser in foreground. Celluloid's rocket makes a landing in the background, behind some hills.

19. The green sky of Vesquu. The Commander and Mr. Celluloid enter the frame. Mr. Celluloid begins to become nervous now, and asks the Commander what they are to expect. The Commander isn't sure. He says to be prepared for anything.

20. Corridor of the X-Minus-Zero. Spaceman First Class Lingo Karkin is being given a weapon by Red. Red says that the Professor has ordered everyone to be armed and assembled in his laboratory by 21.00 hours. Karkin is delighted to have been given a neat gun. He fiddles with it as Red is leaving, and accidentally fires a round, burning Red (off-screen) in the posterior. Red comes storming back in, and gives Karkin a severe reprimand. Karkin agrees and agrees obliviously, and when Red exits a second time, Karkin fires off another round. Red's cry is heard from off-screen.

21. Same as 19. The Commander and Mr. Celluloid have reached the cruiser (off-screen.) The Commander has found footprints of the prison escapees and is about to follow them. Mr. Celluloid, who has been looking about fervently for danger, finally centers his gaze on a tall, off-screen object.

Celluloid: Commander, did you say to be ready for anything?

Commander: That's right. Anything!

Celluloid: Even that? (He points at the object.)

The Commander follows Celluloid's gaze and starts in horror.

22. Low angle shot of the Homo Cannabis, reaching in their direction.

23. Spiral.

Narration: Vesquu is a planet of many dangers: the voracious Homo Cannabis, the dreaded Medusa Specs, and the added menace of Caligula Jones as well! Will the Commander persevere? Tune in next week for episode 5 of our 6-part story, "Spectacles of Doom"!

24. Title: "Next week..."

25. Preview.

Narration: Next time, on "Commander Duck and the Quacketeers", the Commander finally locates Caligula Jones. Has Jones located the dreaded Medusa Specs? If he has, does the Commander stand a chance against him? Check out chapter 5 of "Spectacles of Doom", "Duck Under Siege", and see!


Next: Episode 5.

 

[Low_Roads]

Chapter 5.
"Duck Under Siege"​

Opening titles and credits.

Story title: "Spectacles of Doom."

Narration: "Spectacles of Doom." Chapter 5: "Duck Under Siege."

1. Recap 1: 2/18.

Narration: Last week, Commander Duck and Mr. Celluloid located the escaped criminals Caligula Jones and General Mourg on the obscure planet Vesquu, a planet which also happens to be the resting place of an ancient weapon of legendary power: the Medusa Specs.

2. Recap 2: 4/21.

Narration: No sooner had they landed, then they encountered Vesquu's dominant form of like...

Recap 3: 4/22.

Narration: ... the Homo Cannabis!

4. Green sky of Vesquu. The Commander of Mr. Celluloid face the off-screen Homo Cannabis. With lightning-like reflexes, the Commander whips out his blaster and fires. There is an off-screen explosion, after which tiny pieces of Homo Cannabis rain over the two. The Commander is surprised: a Homo Cannabis shouldn't react like that when blasted. Mr. Celluloid hefts a chunk for closer examination. The Commander makes a startling discovery: the creature had been freeze-dried. No wonder it shattered at that blast's impact! Celluloid replaces the piece and comments that it was sad that the Commander had to destroy the beast (unnecessary killing clashes with the Commander's Sky Marshal code of ethics.) The Commander explains that there is no need for sorrow. The broken pieces of the beast will work their way into the soil and sprout as new Homo Cannabi. In fact, Homo Cannabi regularly spontaneously shatter as part of their reproductive cycle. Thus reassured, Celluloid and the Commander exit.

5. X-Minus-Zero in space.

6. Lab. The Professor and Quincy stand center, while the near-total compliment of the space station mills about around them. The Professor attempts to establish order and explain to them their duties, but in vain. Chaos reigns. Karkin's blaster goes off and wounds someone.

Quincy: I'm not real taken with your organizational talents, Professor.

Quincy goes on to further comment that the Lab is much too small for a general assembly. The Professor disagrees:

Professor: The Lab may not be roomy, but so what? I certainly prefer it to that drafty assembly hall!

Quincy comments that this approach simply isn't effective: not one person has been assigned to a post. The Professor objects. He certainly has made an assignment. His nephew Lucius is standing guard down at the Docking Bay. In fact, it was time for the Professor to check in with him. He picks up a communicator and makes a call.

7. Docking Bay. Lucius is seen on guard with a huge laser rifle.

Prof: Professor Trapezoid calling Lucius Trapezoid. Come in.

Lucius: Yeah, Unc. What do you want?

Prof: Lucius, it's time for your report.

Lucius: Oh yeah. Nothing to report.

Prof: (indignant) Well, it was hardly worth my time to call then, was it!

8. Close-up of 6. Lucius has just hung up on the Professor, who is furious at this action and tries without result to reestablish contact. Finally, he gives up. Someone (off-screen) knocks over some valuable equipment. The Professor can't take anymore. He gruffly orders everyone out of the Lab and back to their original stations. Quincy asks what good that's going to do. The Professor states that this is as good a defense as he can arrange, that no one is paying any attention to them, and they can just fend for themselves.

Prof: Heaven knows I've done my very best! No one's listening to me! (to exiting crew) Let it be on your own heads!

As everyone exits, Karkin (off-screen) is heard miss-firing again as another crew member yelps.

9. Vesquu from space.

10. Similar to 4. A black-robed figure with a blaster and a white jump-suited figure (with his back to the camera) stand stark still, as though frozen in mid-stride. Enter the Commander and Mr. Celluloid, who examine the robed creature. The Commander runs his finger along its arm, which is dusty, suggesting that the alien must have been standing there for years. Evidently, this odd freeze-dried condition has something to do with the effect of the Medusa Specs. The frozen figures they've encountered are obviously others who had sought the terrifying weapon. The two continue on their way. When they have passed, the figure in the white jump-suit turns to follow them. It is General Mourg, pretending to be frozen and armed with a fearsome battle axe. He exits.

11. Long shot of a long forgotten temple. Mr. Celluloid and the Commander stand in the foreground.

12. Reverse close-up of 11. Mr. Celluloid and the Commander stand against the green sky and gaze at the temple. They are about to start for it, when General Mourg enters and attacks the Commander. Mr. Celluloid immediately runs for his life in the direction of the temple. The Commander grapples with his alien adversary, until Mourg gains the advantage and clubs the Commander over the head with the blunt end of the axe. The Commander slumps into unconsciousness. General Mourg then stalks after Celluloid, chuckling gleefully.

13. Spiral.

14. Same as 12, some time later. The Commander recovers and rises unsteadily to his feet. He exits toward the off-screen temple.

15. Zoom in on temple entrance, as Commander approaches.

16. Black interior of the temple. Mr. Celluloid, obviously frozen, stands center. Enter the Commander, blaster drawn. He sadly examines his friend. The camera pans with him as he moves deeper into the temple. Pan onto General Mourg, who once again stands stark still. The Commander warns Mourg not to play games with him, that he knows Mourg is pretending, as he had done before. When Mourg does not move, the Commander becomes suspicious. He touches Mourg and reacts, as he feels the characteristic freeze-dried quality of the skin. Puzzled by Mourg's condition, the Commander looks around further. At Mourg's feet, he discovers the Professor's stolen scrolls. He secures them, then finds a heavy metal box. He deduces that this container must have housed the Medusa Specs. He opens it and discovers it to be empty. Suddenly and unexpectedly, Jones rises into the foreground. The Commander trains his gun on his hated enemy, but before he can fire, a weird noise fills the room. The Commander stares in disbelief at his blaster, as it freezes in his hand. At last, he lets the freezing weapon fall (off-screen.) It is heard shattering on the floor.

17. Close-up of Caligula Jones, wearing the Medusa Specs. The noise subsides, and Jones's mouth broadens into an evil, toothy smile.

Duck: That--that weird head-gear! It's--it's--

Jones: That's right, Duck… the Medusa Specs!

18. Black background. The Commander stands to one side of the frame, still clutching the metal lid to the box. Mourg stands behind him (optional.) Jones enters, gloating.

Commander: You--you froze Mr. Celluloid!

Jones: Sure! Any friend of yours is an enemy of mine!

Commander: But you froze General Mourg, too. He was your friend!

Jones: Oh no. No friend of mine. He wanted me to get him off your space station... I did it. But after we got here, he started makin' noises about going back to his planet and taking over its government again. That's not what I've got in mind, so... pppfffttt!

Commander: (alerted now; more authoritative) And just what do you have in mind, Caligula Jones?

Jones: I'm goin' back to the X-Minus-Zero and taking it over. And from there, I'm taking over the planet Earth! But first, there's one detail here I have to attend to...

Jones stares at the Commander, and the sound of the Medusa effect arises. The Commander cringes behind the scant protection of the metal box lid. But after a time, it becomes apparent that the Medusa Specs are not having the expected effect. Jones stops, puzzled. The Commander doesn't wait to find out what's gone wrong, but rushes from the temple.

Jones: Go on! I don't need to chase you! I know where you live! (fumbles off the Medusa Specs) You can run, Duck. But you can't hide! I'll be after you! You and the x-Minus-Zero! (wipe off.) (note: at the same time, shoot 6/11.)

19. Wipe on to x-Minus-Zero.

20. Magic Room. Troppo and the Professor confer about defense tactics. Troppo only wants to do magic tricks, and the Professor is only interested in berating him for it. Soon, Lucius's voice is heard, announcing the arrival of the Commander's ship. The Professor exits for his Lab, now relieved of his command responsibilities.

21. Slow Zoom-in on X-Minus-Zero.

Commander: (voice-over) This is Commander Duck! Commander Duck, arriving from deep space! Battle stations everyone! Docking Bay, open up!

22. Docking Bay. The great iron doors slide open, as the Commander pilots Mr. Celluloid's rocket ship.

23. Bridge. Quincy awaits the Commander's return. Enter the Commander, with the Qual-Macq scrolls. He hands the scrolls to Quincy, telling him to get them to the Professor immediately and have the science expert get to work at once on some method of neutralizing the Medusa effect. Quincy exits. As soon as he leaves, an urgent call comes in from Lucius in the Docking Bay. Caligula Jones has sneaked his stolen cruiser through the open Docking Bay doors. The Commander tells Lucius not to tackle Jones alone, to wait for help to arrive.

24. Docking Bay. Lucius aims his weapon at the off-screen Jones and tells him to surrender. The Medusa Specs sound, and Lucius is frozen! His gun falls to the floor (off-screen) and shatters.

25. Space Station.

Narration: So, the invasion of the X-Minus-Zero has begun! Can anyone stop the juggernaut Jones has become? You'll never forgive yourself if you don't tune in next week for the conclusion to our story, "Spectacles of Doom"!

26. Title: "Next week..."

27. Preview.

Narration: In our next episode of "Commander Duck and the Quacketeers", the battle for the X-Minus-Zero rages. Discover the fate of the space station and its crew, in part 6 of "Spectacles of Doom", "Showdown in Space"!

End titles and credits.


Next: Conclusion.

 

[Low_Roads]

Chapter 6.
"Showdown in Space"​

Opening titles and credits.

Story title: "Spectacles of Doom".

Narration: "Spectacles of Doom"-- Chapter 6: "Showdown in Space".

1. Recap 1: 5/22.

Narration: Commander Duck returns to the space station X-Minus-Zero from the planet Vesquu, where his arch-enemy, Caligula Jones, has just obtained a legendary terror-weapon: the Medusa Specs!

2. Recap 2: 5/24.

Narration: No sooner has the Commander arrived, than Jones invades, flash-freezing Lucius Trapezoid into a living statue.

3. Recap 3: 5/17.

Narration: Now Caligula Jones, bent on conquering the X-Minus-Zero and then the Earth, roams unstopped and perhaps unstoppable through the ships corridors.

4. Bridge. The Commander and Quincy address the crew, assigning search parties to different sections of the ship. Quincy asks the Commander if he himself is joining the search. The Commander replies that he does not want the Bridge taken this time, as it had been before during the prison break. He will stay to secure the Bridge and coordinate the search efforts. Quincy exits.

5. Lab. The Professor works on a special project: the antidote to the Medusa effect. Fred-16 stands mutely in a corner, awaiting instructions. The Professor finishes and holds up a syringe containing the formula which can reanimate Jones's victims. He summons Fred-16, hands him the syringe, and tells him to take the formula to the Commander. The robot obeys.

6. Magic Room. Troppo is rehearsing some magic tricks. Enter Quincy, on his way to the armory for weapons. He warns the magic clown of Jones's presence. Troppo isn't very impressed. He does some magic, to show off his prowess. At the end of the last trick, a strange electric hum is heard (the sound of the Medusa Specs.) Troppo is frozen solid, but Quincy does not notice, as he is looking around for the alarm he believes has caused the noise. Troppo had been doing a trick with a little ball. Now, the ball drops from his hands and bounces onto the floor. Quincy retrieves the ball for the clown, replacing it in his open hand. The ball drops to the floor again. Then, Quincy sees that Troppo has been frozen. He looks frantically about for Jones, but doesn't see the villain anywhere. He runs from the room. Once the young spaceman is gone, the off-screen, evil chuckle of Jones is heard.

7. Bridge. The Commander receives notice over the communicator that a search party led by Lt. Fosko has not sighted Jones, but has found several frozen crew members. Enter Lythia, whose search of the galley has revealed Lt. Clamb and his entire staff flash-frozen into immobility. Suddenly, the communicator sounds. It is a call from the engine room. Jones has been located there, and is presently in a battle royal with Mr. Uultarre and Red. The Commander sends Lythia down to help.

8. Corridor. Caligula Jones has his arms pinned by Mr. Uultarre and Red. With a sudden effort, he breaks free, freezing the two engineers before they can subdue him again. Jones exits, gleefully. Wipe off.

9. Wipe on. Docking Bay. Lythia (frozen!) stands center. Enter Quincy on his way to the Bridge. He does not realize at first that the elf is immobilized, and warns her of what happened to Troppo. When she does not respond, he takes a really careful look at her. He sees that she has been frozen, and dashes from the scene.

10. Close-up of Bridge. The Commander attempts to re-contact Melno Kosk in the engine room, without result. When he finally gives up, he notices a small plastic model of Gort, the robot. It is one of Mr. Celluloid's models, which he is always leaving around the station. The Commander is filled with remorse at the thought of Mr. Celluloid, for having to desert him on Vesquu. Then, the robot's shiny silver exterior gives him pause to think:

Duck: This shiny metallic paint job... why does this seem so important?

11. Alternate shot of 5/18, with wipe on from black, wipe off to black, and voice-over.

Commander: ... shiny metal. The only time the Medusa effect has failed was in the temple of Vesquu. And the only difference there, was that I was holding the shiny metal lid to the box the contained the Medusa Specs!

12. Same as 10. The Commander is still deep in thought. Enter Quincy, who reports the freezing of Troppo and Lythia. The Commander states that he has been receiving constant similar reports from all over the space station, but that he thinks he has the answer for protection against the Medusa effect: shiny plates of metal will reflect and diffuse the emanations, rendering the weapon harmless. If only it isn't too late! The Commander tries to contact the Professor.

13. Zoom in on Lab. The Professor (frozen!) sits at his work bench.

Commander: Professor! This is Commander Duck, Professor! Metal! Shiny metal is the answer! It neutralizes the Medusa effect! Professor, come in!

14. Same as 12. The Commander, unable to contact Prof. Trapezoid, now attempts to contact anyone.

15. Corridor. Mr. Uultarre and Red stand frozen.

16. Docking Bay. Lucius stands frozen.

17. Magic Room. Troppo stands frozen. Enter Fred-16, who tries to hand the syringe to the clown, then when there is no response, continues on his way.

18. X-Minus-Zero in space. Shots 15-18 are covered by the following voice-over:

Commander: This is Commander Duck, calling from over 100 million miles in space! Commander Duck to anyone! Bring metal! Shiny metal! It's the only thing that will save the X-Minus-Zero from complete take-over! Report to Commander Duck on the Bridge of the space station X-Minus-Zero immediately! S.O.S.! S.O.S.! We need your metal! Steel, tin, aluminum, chrome! It doesn't matter, just as long as it shines! This is Commander Duck! Please come in!

19. Same as 14. The Commander finishes his urgent plea. There is no response. He mournfully tells Quincy that they seem to be the only mobile people on board the space station. Quincy says nothing and does not move. The Commander realizes that his aide-de-camp has been frozen, and that Caligula Jones must be on the Bridge! Jones's laughter is heard off-screen. The Commander rises to his feet.

20. Corridor. Jones and the Commander enter from opposite sides and meet dead center, face-to-face. Jones gloats that the Commander is alone, and soon the mighty power of the x-Minus-Zero will be his. The Commander states that Jones's dreams of conquest are in vain. He knows the answer to the Medusa effect: anyone armed with a simple metal shield and a blaster can defeat him.

Jones: So! That's why you weren't frozen back in that alien temple! Well, your secret won't do anyone any good once I turn you into a living statue!

Just as Jones is about to trigger the device, Fred-16 enters with the Professor's antidote. He nudges the Commander:

Commander: Please, Fred-16! I'll deal with you later. (starts) Wait a minute! Fred-16! You're all shiny metal, just like the Gort robot model! The Medusa Specs can't touch you! Attack!

Fred-16 politely hands the syringe to the Commander, then advances to deal with Jones. The combatants move off-screen. The Commander watches the fight, then glances down at the syringe in his hand. When he realizes that it is the antidote for the Medusa victims, he is jubilant.

21. Black background. Jones and Fred-16 enter the frame. Jones tries the Medusa Specs again and again without result. He then turns to physical violence, striking the robot repeatedly. Fred-16 isn't phased in the least. He nonchalantly draws back his fist and decks Jones with a single lightning-like blow.

22. Spiral.

23. Lab. The Professor has completed the inoculation of the space station crew. Those present rub their posteriors (where the injections were delivered,) with the exception of Lythia, who rubs her arm. The Professor picks up a communicator and contacts the Commander to tell him that the crew has been restored to normal. Mr. Uultarre is still complaining about the needle. The Professor tells him to grow up, that a little pain never hurt anyone. The Professor sits down to be more comfortable, and jumps up yelping as he reactivates the soreness in his own behind.

24. Bridge. The Commander receives the happy news from the Sick Bay. As he signs off, Quincy enters. He and Red are ready to take-off for Vesquu, to rescue Mr. Celluloid. The Commander wishes him a safe journey and Quincy exits. Enter Fred-16, who holds Caligula Jones in check.

Commander: Ah! Mr. Caligula Jones, all ready for transport to prison asteroid Torgos-7. And I see we finally found someone tough enough to make you put on a prison uniform. I think you once boasted that no one could.

Jones: Laugh at me while you can, Duck. I won't be stuck on that prison rock forever. I escaped before and I can escape again. And when I do, I'll be back. I'll find you sometime when this pet tin-can isn't around. You haven't heard the last from me, Duck! We'll meet again! (Fred-16 takes him out.)

Commander: I'm sure we will, Jones.

25. X-Minus-Zero.

End titles and credits.


Next: "Pac-Man".

 

[Low_Roads]

Pac-Man.

This is another of my Commander Duck teleplays, an earlier one that actually did make its way onto videotape. As before, character dialogue was only suggestion and never meant to be spoken as penned… considering its crude, perfunctory nature, that would have been unwise even if it had been possible. Pac-Man is, of course, a copyrighted product which we had no business using without permission. If Namco ever got upset about it, they never mentioned it to us.

PAC-MAN (part 1)​

1. (Solid black background. Yellow dot in center, which slowly advances toward camera.)

2. (Bridge of X-Minus-Zero. Prof. Trapezoid and Lucius talk to crew.)

Prof: Folks, as you see by the main view plate, yellow rogue sun advancing toward Earth. It will pass quite close.

Lucius: (Holding map showing path of sun toward Earth.) Commander Duck outside ship in experimental remote control suit to observe this phenomenon.

3. (Control center. Mr. Celluloid has control of Commander's suit with control unit. Enter Prof. and Lucius.)

Lucius: Celluloid, what are you doing with the controls?

Celluloid: Quincy is busy on Earth getting supplies so he entrusted the controls to me.

Prof: You're too incompetent. You'll give Earthmen a bad name.

Lucius: We'll protest. (They exit.)

Celluloid: (into speaker) Commander Duck! Commander Duck! Come in.

4. (Moving starfield in background. Enter Commander in space suit.)

Commander: This is Commander Duck. Come in Mr. Celluloid.

Celluloid: How's it going?

Commander: Good. I have a fine view of approaching sun.

5. (Solid black background as in shot 1. Yellow spot closer, still advancing.)

6. (Bridge. Mr. Celluloid controls suit. Enter Troppo.)

Troppo: Hello Mr. Celluloid. It's time for my magic.

Celluloid: I can't watch, Troppo. I'm busy.

Troppo: I'll do my tricks for audience. (He does tricks.)

(Mr. Celluloid watches despite himself. Suddenly Commander's voice cries out. Mr. Celluloid makes adjustment to control and apologizes. He puts control down. Troppo looks for his next trick but can't find it. He picks up control.)

Troppo: Hey, watch this. (He makes the control disappear.)

Mr. Celluloid: No! That was the control for the space suit. The Commander will be stranded. Bring it back.

Troppo: Can't do it. Forgot how.

7. (Moving starfield background. Earth is in foreground rotating. Commander in front of that.)

Commander: What's going on? I'm out of control. I remember when this happened to another guy.

Transition.

8. (Film clip from 2001 when spaceman is hurled away from ship.)

Transition.

9. (Moving starfield background. Rotating space station in foreground. Commander in front of that.)

Commander: I don't want that to happen... (Confusion of voices over intercom.) What the--?

10. (Bridge. Professor and Lucius grapple for communicator.)

Prof. and Lucius at once: Commander, Mr. Celluloid lost the controls! We can't come get you! The shuttle craft is gone! That Mr. Celluloid, he's stupid.

Professor breaks in: Commander, the rogue sun should have arrived. Look around for it.

11. (Close-up of Commander's face through glass face plate.)

Commander: Let's see now... ahhh! There it is! It's huge and yellow! What is it?

12. (Moving starfield background. Huge yellow ball in foreground. It slowly revolves to show face.)

Commander: I can't believe it! It... it's Pac-Man, the Insatiable!

13. (Huge portion of Pac-Man's face. Tiny Commander off to one side.)

Pac-Man: Yes. I am Pac-Man, the Ever Eating One. I have come to eat... the planet Earth!

14. (Stock shot: planet Earth and space station.)

Narrator: How can the helpless Commander Duck prevent the planet Earth from becoming an hors d'oeuvre for the awesome entity Pac-Man? Tune in next week to find out.


Next: conclusion.

 

[Low_Roads]

PAC-MAN (part 2)​

​

1. (Moving starfield background. Commander Duck in foreground.)

Narrator: Last week, we left Commander Duck face to face with one of the galaxy's most awesome creatures.

2. (Huge face of Pac-Man in background, tiny Commander in front.)

Pac-Man: I have come to this sector of space to feast... upon the planet Earth!

3. (Bridge. Prof. Trapezoid and Lucius rave at Mr. Celluloid.)

Trapeziod and Lucius at once: Celluloid, you fool! You bungled everything! The Earth is doomed because of you! You stranded the Commander in space! I'll make sure you never get to come up here again--

Celluloid: Wait! Look at that screen! (They all look.)

4. (Moving starfield background. Pac-Man in foreground, facing camera.)

Pac-Man: I've wasted enough time here. I came for a meal and I mean to get it. (He turns and exits.)

5. (Moving starfield background. Commander in foreground.)

Commander: I'm the only one who can order an attack on Pac-Man. But I have no way of returning to the ship.

6. (Bridge. Red and Mr. Uultarre work on building new control box. Mr. Celluloid looks on.)

Red: Mr. Uultarre says we can build new unit... in three hours.

Celluloid: That's too long. Must think of something else. (Exits.)

7. (Control center. Trapezoid and Lucius look on helplessly. Enter Celluloid. Lucius sees him, taps Trapezoid. They exit, haughtily.)

Trapezoid: Ha! The man who marooned our Commander!

Lucius: Bum!

(After they have gone, enter Troppo.)

Troppo: What's wrong?

Celluloid: Lucius and Trapezoid are sore at me.

Troppo: I'll tell you a story to cheer you up.

Transition.

8. (Magic interlude.)

Transition.

9. (Same as 7. Troppo jabbers on, oblivious. Enter Red.)

Red: Uultarre sent me to tell you Quincy Quack is on his way back to space station with shuttle craft from Earth. By the way, we gave up trying to build new control box.

Celluloid: Quincy, bringing supplies from Earth. Hey, I've got an idea. (He rushes out, leaving Red with Troppo, who latches onto his arm and begins another story.)

10. (Bridge, covered with garbage from building attempt. Enter Celluloid, who sorts through junk and finds communicator.)

Celluloid: Quincy Quack! Quincy Quack! Come in!

11. (Stock shot: shuttle.)

12. (Quincy at controls of shuttle.)

Quincy: (into communicator) This is Quincy. Yes I have a torpedo onboard. Fill it with what? Are you crazy? Who? Pac-Man? Okay, whatever you say!

13. (Static starfield. Commander in foreground.)

Commander: There's the shuttle. Now he can pick me up.

(Shuttle flies past him.)

Commander: Where's he going? He's attacking Pac-Man! He doesn't have sufficient weaponry.

14. (Giant Pac-Man face. Shuttle makes pass, releases torpedo.)

Pac-Man: One torpedo against me? I'll swallow it in one gulp!

15. (Close-up of Commander's face.)

Commander: What's this? Pac-Man looks ill.

16. (Moving starfield background. Pac-Man in foreground. He is green and looks sick. He turns about and runs.)

17. (Control center. Trapezoid and Lucius flank Troppo. They are berating the absent Mr. Celluloid.)

Both: That Mr. Celluloid! We should never let him up here! He's a menace!

(Troppo can't abide any more.)

Troppo: Enough is enough. If you can't say anything nice about someone, don't say anything al all. Presto Modesto!

(Trapezoid and Lucius are suddenly struck dumb. They try to talk but can't. Troppo, well satisfied, exits.)

18. (Solid black background. Green dot zooms away from camera.)

19. (Bridge. Mr. Celluloid is joined by Commander and Quincy. General jubilation.)

Commander: Mr. Celluloid! Quincy! Well done! Tell me one thing. How did you drive off Pac-Man with only one torpedo?

Quincy: Mr. Celluloid said take out the explosive and fill up the warhead with the month's supply of ex-lax I was bringing from Earth. When Pac-Man swallowed that, he got a giant belly-ache.

20. (Stock shot: space station.)

Narrator: So once again disaster is averted for the Earth and for the crew of the X-Minus-Zero. Join us here next week for further stomach churning adventures of Commander Duck and the Quacketeers!

Swell Pictures Inc.​

Next: "Greenbeard".

 

[Low_Roads]

Greenbeard.

This GM screenplay (a takeoff of the 1972 Richard Burton "Bluebeard") is, as you'll see, whacked hard with a goofy stick. GM didn't drink much… being a lifelong diabetic, he couldn't… but this effort shows all the loosey-goosey, go-to-hell inspiration of inebriated thought. It's quite unlike anything he'd written before or since; I find it hilarious! Needless to say, never produced. A damned pity.

Note: two illustrations at the bottom of the page.

Greenbeard

by GM


One.​

(Shot of lone figure trudging through the night. A scarf muffles the lower half of his face. He arrives at a house, and is admitted by the butler.)

Greenbeard/ I am here to see Chicolini on important business.

Butler/ (taking his cane and hat) And whom may I say is calling, sir?

Greenbeard/ (unwrapping his features with back to camera) Baron von Zipper.

(The butler starts. We see that the figure has a green beard.)

TITLES

Two.​

(Greenbeard sits at a cafe table with a young lady.)

Joey/ How did your whiskers get that color, Baron?

Greenbeard/ During the World War, Miss Heatherton, my Fokker was shot down by the English. It crashed into a chemical fertilizer plant. When I recovered, I found that this rather peculiar growth had sprouted from my chin.

Joey/ Why didn't you just shave it off?

Greenbeard/ I found it resisted all razors. Even weed-killer proved futile.

Joey/ I find it fascinating. Oooo! It makes me horny just looking at it. Let's get married.

Greenbeard/ My darling!

Joey/ Sweetheart!

(They embrace and kiss.)

Three.​

Joey/ Our wedding night has arrived at last. My body and soul are yours to command. Take me, o dearest one!

Greenbeard/ I hope you won't be disappointed, beautiful Joey. Urgent business calls me away tonight. But I shall return tomorrow.

Joey/ But, Kurt--I'm hornier than a hoot owl.

Greenbeard/ Take a cold shower. Besides, what is one night when we have a lifetime of bliss ahead of us. Here are the keys to the house. You may use all of them but this one. This one you must never use.

Joey/ Then why are you giving it to me?

Greenbeard/ It's a weak plot device.

Joey/ Oh.

Greenbeard/ Until tomorrow...

Joey/ Are you sure you don't have time for a quickie?

Four.​

The flutist is tied on a chair. Greenbeard, in German garb, scrawls the word "Pollock" on his head and laughs uproariously. A tear runs down the Pole's cheek.

Five.​

(Joey has been pulling heavily at the bottle. In a drunken stupor, she steals over and tries the key. Inside the closet, the bodies of three women are stacked on each other.

Greenbeard/ Aha!

Joey/ Belch!

Greenbeard/ You didn't expect me to return early, did you? You too must die!

Joey/ Wait! First you must tell me why you murdered these three women!

Greenbeard/ Why?

Joey/ It's a weak plot device.

Greenbeard/ Oh.

(He tells.)

Greenbeard/ It makes me sad that you found the bodies, for now you must join them.

Joey/ I'm sad for you too.

Greenbeard/ What do you mean?

Joey/ Because I know the real reason you killed all these women.

Greenbeard/ What are you talking about?

Joey/ You murdered them because you were afraid...

Greenbeard/ That's not true.

Joey/ ... afraid to have sex with them...

Greenbeard/ No!

Joey/ ... afraid they'd find out that your pubic hair is as green as your beard!

Greenbeard/ Arghh!

(He starts choking her. The Pole pops out and whacks him with a booze bottle.)

Pole/ Scram, sister, while you have the chance.

(Exit Joey. As the Pole uncorks a bottle of peroxide, fade out.)

Six.​

(Greenbeard awakes.)

Pole/ Well, big boy, now you're mine forever.

Greenbeard rushes to mirror, finds his beard is pink.)

Greenbeard/ My darling!

Pole/ Sweetheart!

(The Pole and Greenbeard embrace, as the Pole winks at the camera.)

The End.​

Next: "Mile High Monster".

 

[Low_Roads]

Mile High Monster.

As I go through old folders and notebooks, I often to run across material (both GM's and my own) I'd completely forgotten about. In this case, the amnesia is well deserved; "Mile High Monster" was obviously intended as a satire of Bert I. Gordon's 1957 sci-fi cheapy, "The Amazing Colossal Man"… but the parody elements are so flimsy, it functions more as a really weak remake. The idea (I suppose) of this unlikely inspiration was to craft a project that needed very little in the way of involved FX work, thus facilitating a short production schedule. It didn't pay off, which is no loss… the resulting film would have looked like crap.

Mile High Monster

Screenplay by
Forster Glenn Oakes​

Characters

Lieutenant Bland Manning
Soldier
Prof. Scott
Capt. Forsythe
Sentry
Housewife
Betty Sanders
Orderly
2nd Lieutenant
Misc. Bystanders

CREDIT SEQUENCE. EXTERIOR. The camera pans across a vast stretch of barren earth. Abruptly, a huge footprint enters the frame. As the camera pans over the trail of footprints, the credits are superimposed over the scene:

ROYAL STUDIOS PRESENT:

MILE HIGH MONSTER​

Cut to trucking-in shot. Same scene:

STARRING:

(BLAND)

(BETTY)

(SCOTT)

(FORSYTHE)​

Cut back to previous shot:

WRITTEN AND DIRECTED

BY FOSTER GLENN OAKES​

Camera pans onto a highway, where the trail has led. There is a huge footprint in the middle of the asphalt. Fade out.

Fade in on an Army Testing Ground. CU of a loudspeaker.

Voice (Forsythe): Attention all personnel. Remain where you are. Super-Gama bomb will be exploded in 15 seconds.

Cut to a trench, in which recline LIEUT. BLAND MANNING and a SOLDIER.

Soldier: Lieut. Manning! Where are your safety goggles?

Manning: Good Lord! I forgot them in the bunker!

Bland crawls from the trench and heads toward the bunker, as the soldier watches. Suddenly, Forsythe’s voice rings forth again:

Voice: Zero minus – 5 – 4 – 3 – 2 – 1 –

There is a blinding explosion in front of Manning. The exposed soldier in the trench is burned to a cinder. Manning, badly scorched, stands tottering for several seconds, then collapses. Fade out.

Fade in on the Base Hospital building. CAPT. FORSYTHE and PROF. SCOTT leave through the front door. The camera tracks backward in front of them as they walk.

Forsythe: I know that your methods are somewhat unusual, Prof. Scott, but hospitalizing Lieut. Manning in one o four aircraft hangars is an unprecedented action.

Scott: Capt. Forsythe, this Lieut. Manning’s condition is unprecedented. As you have not seen him yet, this may come as a great shock.

Forsythe: I am aware that he suffered extremely bad burns from the blast.

Scott: (stopping) You do not quite get what I mean. The scars have already healed, but they have left the young lieutenant with an alarming, almost alien disfigurement. It as then that a second astounding condition set it. It... well, you’d best see this for yourself.

Scott and Forsythe round a corner, and Forsythe’s face contorts into a gape of disbelief. Cut to a high-angle LS of Forsythe, Scott and the hangar door, with a huge hand protruding form it. Fade out.

LATER THAT NIGHT.​

Fade in on the same scene, in blue moonlight. The giant, mutated hand starts to twitch. Cut to the sentry post. There is a great noise, as of sheet metal being ripped apart. The SENTRY goes to investigate. After a moment of deadly silence, there is a terrible off-screen scream. Fade out.

Fade in on the sunrise. CU of a window, as a HOUSEWIFE dumps wash-water into the street. She looks up, her eyes widen in horror. Reverse shot of what she sees: pan up the Mile High Monster, clad in a huge loin cloth, with great iron straps around his arms and neck. The housewife runs outside and stares up at the human behemoth. The great beast steps on the hapless woman, and her screams attract the attention of other BYSTANDERS. They run wildly before the trampling onslaught of the giant. One man produces a gun and fires it uselessly. The Mile High Monster grabs up the man and closes him up in a colossal fist. Trickles of blood stream between the gargantuan fingers.

Cut to INTERIOR: Prof. Scott’s laboratory. The camera pans over several vials of chemicals to Scott and Forsythe.

Forsythe: He’s destroying the entire city, trampling down buildings as though they were cardboard, crushing countless numbers of innocent people. Much as I hate to do it, I’ve got to use the might of the Armed Forces against him.

Scott: That would be a great shame. I believe that his wanton destruction is temporary, brought on by the absorption of the Gamma-rays into his brain by way of the unshielded eyes.

Forsythe: Lieut. Manning’s fiancée has just flown in from the coast. If anyone can reason with him, she can.

BETTY enters.

Forsythe: Here she is now. (to Betty) Miss Sanders, this is Prof. Scott. He and his staff have been working night and day, trying to find an answer to this catastrophe.

Betty: Professor, do you have any idea why he is... what he is?

Scott: There are very few things that we know for certain. We believe the Lieut. Manning’s close proximity to the Gamma blast was responsible for his incredible growth. A similarly exposed soldier a greater distance away was reduced to ashes.

Betty: (to Forsythe) You won’t have to... kill him, will you?

Forsythe: We’ll try to avoid it. But he must be stopped from taking any more lives.

An ORDERLY bursts in.

Orderly: Sir! The Mile High Monster has been observed heading across the desert toward the Grand Canyon.

Forsythe: Then he’s cut off. Let’s go.

Dissolve to EXTERIOR of heavy armor moving across the desert. At the Grand Canyon, the Mile High Monster stands at the brink. The convoy arrives at high ground just in front of a large clearing. Forsythe and a Lieutenant walk to the foot of the clearing.

Lieutenant: He’s just at the brink of the Grand Canyon, sir. One will-placed shot would send him over the edge to his death.

Forsythe: Not yet. If there’s an ounce of reason left in Lieut. Bland Manning, I want to try to reach it first.

The Captain walks into the clearing and calls up:

Forsythe: Lieut. Manning. This is Capt. Forsythe. I’ve got to place you under military arrest. Do you understand?

Manning becomes enraged at the sight of the frail human. He breaks off a great section of rock from a nearby cliff, causing an avalanche to bury Capt. Forsythe.

Lieutenant: All units! Prepare to fire!

Betty: No! Wait! I can reach him. You’ve got to let me try.

Betty runs into the clearing.

Betty: Bland! This is Betty. Betty! Your fiancée. Bland, you mustn’t kill any more people. Bland, you’ve got to understand me.

Manning places his hands to his head in an effort of thought. Then, he realizes all that he has done.

Manning: B-B-Betty?

He places his hands in front of his face in a gesture of remorse, then, in a fit of suicidal grief, hurls himself into the Canyon. Betty, cringes. Prof. Scott runs into the clearing to her, and she buries her sobbing face in his chest. Final shot of the Colorado River, as the end credits role.

-END-​

Next: "The Horror of Red Rock".

 

[Low_Roads]

The Horror of Red Rock.

Again, one of my less impressive sci-fi concepts. It had a germ of an promising idea, but would have required a ton of return trips through the typewriter before gaining enough complexity to really grab anyone's interest (the tale is ridiculously linear and none of its characters is developed adequately). The stop-motion alien model would have been fun to build but probably impossible to animate. My skills just weren't up to it.

Note: the title is a not-too-subtile take on H. P. Lovecraft's The Horror of Red Hook. My story in no way resembles that literary work. I trust Mr. Lovecraft feels fully exculpated.

The Horror of Red Rock

a screenplay by
Foster Glenn Oakes​

CAST
Sheriff Bob Miller
Larry Kirby
Doc Sullivan
Mark Skinner
Margery Winters

EXTERIOR. Midnight, overlooking the Arizona desert. Suddenly, a great blazing object streaks out of the sky and disappears behind a large dune. Transition. Comes the dawn, SHERIFF BOB MILLER and LARRY KIRBY are out inspecting the area where the thing came down.

Larry: It came down right over this rise. I saw the thing last night through my telescope. God, what a sight!

Bob: You and your star gazing. Jesus, Kirby, why didn’t you ever make a career out of it?

Larry: Because my hardware business is too profitable. Come on, Bob, you know that astronomy is just a hobby with me. (looking ahead of him) Yeah, here’s the place.

Bob: Fine thing for the town sheriff to be chasing down stray meteors! (they come to the spot) Well, where is it?

Larry: I don’t understand. There’s no ground disturbance of any kind. So that’s why there was no noise!

Bob: I’m going back to town.

Larry sits pondering the problem as Bob walks off. A cry from the sheriff makes Larry turn.

Bob: (off) Holy Christ!

Larry runs to the spot where Bob is standing and recoils at the sight. Before them is a corpse, horribly shriveled, with four great punctures in it chest.

Larry: That—that looks like Jim Akers!

Bob: Let’s get it back to Red Rock. Doc Sullivan can perform an autopsy.

The camera pans from the two men and onto the rolling dunes. Dissolve to another stretch of desert. The sound of a great pair of leathery wings wells up and then disappears. Cut to INTERIOR. The inside of Doc Sullivan’s office. DOC SULLIVAN stands talking with Bob and Larry.

Doc: That’ some corpse you’ve brought me, Sheriff Miller. I’ll start an autopsy immediately.

Larry: Can I stick around, Doc? I’d like to hear the results.

Doc: Sure, Larry. I don’t see why not.

Doc exits through a door in back. Just then, the phone rings.

Bob: (yelling to Doc) I’ll take it, Doc. I had Mabel direct all my calls here. (into telephone) Hello, Doc Sullivan’s office. Yeah. Hi, Mark, what’s wrong? Slow down. What’s that? You saw what? I’ll be down in a minute, Mark. (hangs up) That was Mark Skinner. He says he thinks he saw his wife upstairs, but the body was so messed up he couldn’t be sure.

Larry: What?!

Bob: I’ll go check it out. You wait for Doc.

Bob dashes out of the room. EXTERIOR. Mark Skinner’s ranch. Bob pulls up in his jeep and gets out, looking for Skinner. A voice comes from behind him.

Skinner: (off) Sheriff! Sheriff, it was awful!

Bob turns to behold MARK SKINNER cringing in the dust before him.

Skinner: Her skin was all shriveled, and her eyes were gone, and her teeth—her teeth were sticking out of her mouth—

Bob: Calm down, Mark. I’ll go have a look.

Bob leaves Skinner huddled in the yard. INTERIOR. Bob enters the house. His investigations lead him upstairs to the bedroom. A covered object lies on the bed. With trembling fingers, he pulls back the sheet. The object is only the bed pillows. In relief, he turns, only to find the woman’s body propped up in a sitting position against the wall. Cut to living room. Bob has just come down. He goes to the telephone.

Bob: Mabel, get me the Phoenix Police Department. What? The line’s down? All the lines are down! I don’t know, but something’s got to break pretty soon. (He places the phone down) Mark!

EXTERIOR. Bob walks out of the house and up to Skinner.

Bob: Mark, I want you to do something for me. I want you to drive into Phoenix and send the police here. Can you do that?

Mark nods dumbly. He gets into his pick-up and starts off down the road. INTERIOR. Doc Sullivan’s office. The doctor comes through the door in back and over to Larry.

Doc: It’s as you boys thought. That thing in there used to be Jim Akers.

Larry: How did he get like that, Doc?

Doc: You may think I’m lying, Larry, but every particle of blood as drained from his body through those holes in his chest. As though he’d been attacked by four pneumatic pumps.

Larry: You know, Doc, I just can’t shake the feeling that all this is somehow related to that meteor I saw last night.

EXTERIOR. Mark Skinner drives along in his truck, headed for Phoenix. Suddenly, the sound of wings is heard, approaching fast. Then, Mark sees through the windshield a great, winged brain, flying toward the truck. Four writhing, sucking tentacles protrude from its front. Marks screams and swerves to avoid a head-on collision with the horror. The pick-up goes off the road and rolls down the embankment. As the poor farmer lies moaning next to his wrecked truck, the great gray brain settles down on top of him and begins to feed. INTERIOR. Doc’s office. Bob walks in the front door. Doc and Larry are present.

Bob: You won’t believe this. Another corpse. Mary Skinner. Just like the one in there.

Larry: She’s not the only one, Bob. We just got a call. Old man Ackerman’s body was found. Same thing.

Bob: Let’s get to my office. I sent Mark Skinner to Phoenix. The police should be here within two hours.

EXTERIOR. The front of Doc Sullivan’s office. The three men have just come out the door.

Bob: I have a loud-speaker at the station-house. We have to warn people to keep off the streets—

Margery: (off) Sheriff Miller!

The men turn to see Margery Winters running toward them.

Bob: Mrs. Winters, what is it?

Margery: Henry! He was attacked in front of our tavern by some ungodly creature. Please hurry!

The four make their way to the Winters’ Tavern. There, the great, gray brain is feasting. As they approach, it lets loose of the corpse and takes to the air. Mrs. Winters falls to her knees, sobbing, and the others stare, horrified.

Larry: That thing! That was what I saw last night!

The hovering monster wastes no time in choosing its next victim. It hurls itself toward Doc. Bob fires his revolver at the thing, to no effect. It lands on the old man and the tentacles prepare to do their horrid work. Larry grabs a broken picket from a trash pile and stabs it into the back of the giant brain. Bob goes to his aid, and the two of them force the wood deep into the writhing mass of gray matter. The tentacles flail in violent death throes, and the creature at last expires. The two men help Doc out from under its dead body.

Larry: It was some fantastic form of intergalactic life. Why did it come here? Was it an accident? Or was it an incredible predatory urge? How many like this are waiting for their chance?

They stare in revulsion at the slaughtered brain. Larry looks toward the sky with a fearful gaze.

-END-​

Next: "The Sorcerer".

 

[Low_Roads]

The Sorcerer.

"The Sorcerer" is the final screenplay to feature my Argus the Sorcerer character, who first appeared in "Theseus and the Minotaur" and then in the followups "Return of the Sorcerer" and "A Gathering of Forces". It's also probably the least interesting, as its rather utilitarian storyline, written as an excuse for the special-effects spectacle that had become my primary concern, featured only one such scene… not a very showy one either. The monster Behemoth (in next week's wrap-up) would in all likelihood have been achieved with stop-motion puppetry, not that I'd thought that far ahead. I'd have played the part of Mord; my friend GM would once again have been Argus. The rest of the actors hadn't even been considered… "The Sorcerer" was a very low-priority project.

Look for illustrations, both here and in next week's conclusion, at the bottom of the page.

The Sorcerer

a screenplay by
Foster Glenn Oakes​

CAST
Bob Stark
Rip Graves
Carolyn Hapgood
Arthur Hapgood
Dr. Argus
Mord.

INTERIOR. A door bearing the words: "Stark and Graves -- Private Detectives." Inside the office sit BOB STARK and RIP GRAVES. A knock comes to the door.

Bob: Come in.

CAROLYN HAPGOOD enters.

Bob: Please sit down. I am Bob Stark. This is Rip Graves. Now, what is it we can do for you?

Carolyn: (sitting) Thank you. My name is Carolyn Hapgood. My father is Arthur Hapgood.

Rip: Arthur Hapgood, the wealthy philanthropist?

Carolyn: Yes. Father was taken ill about a month ago. A special physician, Dr. Argus, was called in to treat him, but he's only gotten worse.

Rip: Do you think this Dr. Argus character is slipping the old boy arsenic or somethin'?

Carolyn: I make no accusations, Mr. Graves. I only want to ensure my father's recovery, and would be more at ease if I knew that there was no sign of foul play coming from any direction. I will pay you very well for your services. Will you take my case?

Bob turns to look at Rip. Rip nods his head in assent.

Bob: Yes, Miss Hapgood. We'll be out to your place as soon as possible, after we've wrapped up our other work.

Carolyn takes Bob's hand, then exits through the door. The two detectives slyly give each other a side-long glance. Dissolve. EXTERIOR. Outside Arthur Hapgood's mansion. A car pulls into the drive, and Bob and Rip get out. They head for the front door.

Rip: That Hapgood broad is one swell lookin' dame!

Bob: Business first.

Bob knocks at the front door. After a pause, it creaks open. MORD, a huge, deformed butler, stands in the doorway.

Mord: No solicitors!

As Mord attempts to shut the door, Rip places his foot inside and stops it.

Rip: Hold on, buddy. We've got business with Miss Hapgood.

As Mord prepares to throw Rip out, a voice comes from inside.

Carolyn: (off) Mord! I've been expecting these gentlemen.

Mord freezes, then stands attentively as the two men pass. INTERIOR. The inside of the mansion. Carolyn greets the detectives.

Carolyn: I'm so glad you've come! Please follow me. Father is having another of his deliriums.

Bob and Rip follow the girl up a flight of stairs to Mr. Hapgood's bedroom. From behind the door, they can hear the old man groaning. Upon entering the room, they find ARTHUR HAPGOOD raving and twisting on his bed. As they approach him, a commanding voice rings out:

Argus: (off) Keep back!

They turn to find DR. ARGUS standing before them with a syringe. He goes to Mr. Hapgood and injects a liquid into his arm, then motions for the others to go outside the room. Suddenly, Hapgood cries out.

Hapgood: They're all around me! Demons! Fangs! Claws! Blood! Help! Help...

Argus repeats his gesture, and the four exit. Once the door is shut, Argus turns to Carolyn.

Argus: Miss Carolyn, I have repeatedly warned you against entering your father's room when he is in one of his fits. (taking notice of Bob and Rip.) Who are these two men?

Carolyn: (quickly) They are friends of mine, Dr. Argus. I thought they might be able to help.

Argus: (with a more tolerant air) Perhaps you would like some refreshments. (calling out) Mord! Wine for these gentlemen.

Argus motions the others downstairs, following after them only after placing his ear to the door and smiling evilly at the sound of Mr. Hapgood's delirium. When he has joined the rest, he and Rip enjoin immediately in a conversation, while Bob picks up a book and pretends to read, all the while his mind working quickly.

Argus: So, Mr. Graves, what is it that you do?

Rip: (voice-over) Me and my pal are, uh… uh… educators, Doc.

Argus: (voice-over) Educators. Indeed. What rewarding work that must be!

The conversation dulls in Bob's mind, as he pays closer attention to the book that is open before him. It is an old book, from the 1500s, and an ancient illustration shows the execution of a sorcerer. To Bob's amazement, the face of the condemned sorcerer bears a striking resemblance to Argus's, while the face of the presiding priest looks remarkably like Mr. Hapgood's. Suddenly, Argus's voice breaks his concentration.

Argus: Mr. Stark, I just suggested to your friend and Miss Hapgood that you all take a walk on the grounds prior to dinner.

Bob: Yes, certainly.

Bob rises to join Rip and Carolyn, and the three leave the house. As soon as they are gone, Argus's face assumes a look of distain.

Argus: Mord!

Mord: Your pleasure, Master.

Argus: My dagger, quickly. Those detectives must be disposed of. Miss Carolyn as well.


Next: Conclusion.

 

[Low_Roads]

Part 2.​

Mord fetches a curved sacrificial dagger and hands it to his superior. Argus makes several passes through the air.

Mord: Detectives! So that is what they are. Who will you summon? Behemoth?

Argus: Yes... Behemoth.

EXTERIOR. The two private-eyes and Miss Hapgood walk along the bank of a dried stream.

Rip: Funny thing about that doc. He knew our names before we told him.

Bob: That's not all. (after a pause) Rip, you stay here with Carolyn. I'm going back to have a talk with "Dr." Argus.

Bob walks back toward the house.

Carolyn: (looking after Bob) Oh dear. I hope there's no trouble.

Rip: Don't worry, hon. If there's one thing defective work does, it prepares you for the unexpected.

Rip starts suddenly, as a huge tentacle rises out of the dry creek bed an lashes at them. It belongs to a huge monster, Behemoth. Rip breaks a branch off a nearby tree and fends off the beast's attack. Meanwhile, Bob reaches the house. INTERIOR. Bob looks through the rooms for Argus.

Bob: Dr. Argus!

Argus: (off) You seek me, Mr. Stark?

Bob wheels about to find Argus, garbed in his true costume: that of a sorcerer.

Bob: Just who the hell are you?

Argus: As the book you saw indicated, I am a sorcerer.

Bob: So that's it! The resemblances! Some ancestor of yours was executed by an ancestor of Arthur Hapgood. And you want revenge!

Silently, Mord sneaks out of the shadows and steals up behind Bob.

Argus: Not precisely. True, it as a predecessor of Hapgood who presided over the beheading. But it was I who was beheaded!

At this point, Mord brings his huge fists down on Bob's head, rendering him unconscious. Argus motions to Mord, and they head upstairs toward Hapgood's bedroom. EXTERIOR. At the creek-bed, Rip has laboriously defended himself and Carolyn from Behemoth, who has them trapped against a rock wall. Finally, the detective manages to push the cephalopodian horror back far enough for them to escape. They make their way to the house just in time to meet Bob, who stumbles through the front door, very groggily. They all look up toward a hill where Argus and Mord, carrying Hapgood, move toward a massive, Stonehenge-like temple.

Carolyn: They're taking Father to the old pagan temple!

The three set out after Argus, who has by this time reached the site of the ruins. The magician observes the approach of his pursuers.

Argus: Stop them, Mord. I will begin the ceremony.

The deformed giant places his burden upon a great stone alter, then lumbers off in compliance with his master's command. Argus draws his dagger and makes mystic passes in the air.

Argus: By the power of Satan, king of the demons, and that of his mighty servants, Lucifer, Belial, and Leviathan, I command the demon Belfagor to appear in effigy before me!

At the top of the temple, overlooking the alter-stone, a hideous stone image materializes. Argus smiles in sadistic triumph. Meanwhile, Mord has just reached the three rescuers. With a swipe of his great fist, he knocks Bob aside. Rip leaps upon Mord and the two of them struggle, as Bob runs on toward Argus. Rip is a strong man, but the bestial strength of Mord is too much for him. The great brute begins to choke the detective. Carolyn quickly takes up a rock and strikes the deformed servant on the head. At the alter, Argus prepares to make his human sacrifice.

Argus: Insidious Belfagor, Lord of Derision! The one whose power prevents my death! Accept the sacrifice of this, the progeny of my ancient enemy!

He raises the curved dagger, but before it descends Bob rushes in and grabs the sorcerer's arm. Argus smiles disdainfully and with superhuman strength, forces the blade toward his victim's chest. Then Rip arrives to Bob's aid and, with their combined effort, they force the weapon from Argus's grasp. It strikes the side of the stone temple and breaks in half. The enraged wizard sends them both tumbling with a single blow of his hand, but above him the stone idol begins to rock and sway precariously. Rip and Bob quickly remove Hapgood from the alter and run for cover with Carolyn. Argus stares at the statue in bewilderment, when all at once the stone pillars collapse and large blocks of granite rain down. From a safe distance, the detectives and Carolyn, with her father, watch the catastrophe. The old philanthropist recovers somewhat from his delirium.

Hapgood: The demons...they're gone. They're gone at last...

On the hillside, the temple lies in rubble. Crushed beneath the fallen idol, is the body of Argus, the sorcerer.

-END-​

Next: "The Son of the Fly".

 

[Low_Roads]

The Son of the Fly.

Forgive the spoiler: no fly monster plays any active part in this, GM's sequel to his "Journal of the Fly" (except in reprised flashbacks). Better for you to know that now than face frustrating disappointment. What there is in its place, I'll leave you to discover. GM and his girlfriend would doubtless have returned to their roles as the Masons; I would likely have played Dr. Olmstead, for reasons that may become clear at the story's conclusion. Even though GM did completely shoot and edit the earlier screenplay (sound was never added, and dubbing may never have been feasible), I don't think this followup was ever really a serious consideration. Sometimes we each of us wrote for activity rather than utility; this may have been one of those instances.

The Son of the Fly

a screenplay by
GM​

DRAMATIS PERSONAE
ZACHARY MASON
ESMERALDA MASON
PETER HARPER
DR. JON OLMSTEAD
BARNABY MASON
SUSAN HARPER
OLD WOMAN

Shot of and office building. Dissolve to the office door: “Jon Olmstead, M.D.”. Dissolve to a man behind a desk. He turns on a large tape recorder and speaks into the microphone.

Olmstead: Patient’s name: Zachary Theodore Mason. Nature of complaint: paralysis of the left arm. Due to the unusual nature of this case, I am compelled to begin this report at a point fully one year before the paralysis manifested itself...

Rough cut---zoom in on banner headline: “Grisly Fly Creature Murders”. Close-up of a newspaper picture of the fly, captioned: “Fly, My Eye.”

Olmstead: (voice-over) Several newspapers doubted the veracity of Dr. Mason’s confession. However, the learned testimony of Mason’s associate, Dr. Peter Harper, coupled with the unmistakable signs of superhuman strength exhibited by the murderer, soon dispelled any doubts.

An old lady turns on her radio and sits down to listen. Close-up of the radio.

Announcer: In other news, the sensational “Human Fly” trail reached its climax today. The jury, after an incredible thirty-two hour deliberation, has voted to acquit---repeat, acquit---Dr. Zachary Mason, in the belief that he committed last October’s murders while under the influence of insect-like drives and instincts.

Fade to the Masons and the Harpers as they sit around a dining table. They have just finished supper. Mason pours an after-dinner liqueur for all present.

Olmstead: (voice-over) The Masons were understandably elated that the ordeal of the long and agonizing trial had finally ended. To celebrate, they invited Dr. Harper and his wife Susan to an intimate dinner...

Close-up of Harper, as he stands and proposes a toast. Close-up of Mason, as he drinks.

Olmstead: (voice-over) During the long months of the trial, Mason had cultivated a small beard.

Close-up of Esmeralda.

Olmstead: (voice-over) This new growth made his wife uneasy, but she said nothing.

Fade to Zach and Esmeralda as they say goodbye to their friends. Peter and Susan exit.

Zach: Drive carefully.

Zach closes the door.

Esmeralda: Zach...

Zachary: Yes?

Esmeralda: There’s something I have to tell you. I---I wanted to tell you a month ago, but the trial...

Zachary: Darling, you’re trembling. Whatever it is, tell me.

Esmeralda: You remember, a few weeks ago...I was having sick spells? And I promised I’d go see Dr. Olmstead? Well, I saw him. (long pause) I’m---we’re going to have a child.

Zach registers shock, disbelief---then joy. He presses Esmeralda to him. A long fade.

Doctor Harper’s laboratory. Mason bursts in.

Zachary: Peter! (Peter looks around) It’s a boy!

They clasp hands.

Peter: Congratulations, old man.

Zachary: I wanted you to be the first to know. (suddenly remembering something) Oh yes---have a cigar!

Peter: Thanks.

Zach lights Peter’s cigar, then one for himself.

Peter: Zach---I didn’t know you smoked.

Zachary: Mmm? (He looks at the cigar strangely.) Just nervous, I guess. (he laughs)

Zoom in on Zach’s burning cigar. Cut to the burning cigar being lifted from the slot in the fly-shaped ashtray and snuffed therein. The hinged wings are abruptly snapped down.

Esmeralda: I wish you’d get rid of that thing. It gives me a chill every time I look at it. (she holds the baby) There, there, Barnaby.

Zachary: You’re over-reacting. Besides, it... amuses me.

Esmeralda decides to drop the subject. She eyes Zach.

Esmeralda: Zach... I haven’t seen that vest before. Is it new?

Zachary: (looking up) New? Why yes. I picked it up last week. At a sale.

Esmeralda: I didn’t know you were the vest type.

Significant close-up of Mason. He laughs.

Zachary: You’d be surprised.


Next: Conclusion.

 

[Low_Roads]

Part 2.​

Fade to Esmeralda in bed. Pan to show Zachary in his bed. He tosses, turns, and grips the covers.

Olmstead: (voice-over) Although the tribunal of justice had allowed Zachary Mason to go free, he was nonetheless the prisoner of his own conscience. An unfounded sense of guilt tormented him, plagued him with terrifying nightmares.

Colored lights flash on the screen. The murder of Schallert is capsulized. More tossings and turninings. Colored lights. The murder of Davis is capsulized. Colored lights. Capsulizing of the murder of Saxon. Colored lights. A fantasy sequence in which the fly strangles Mason himself. Mason wakes up screaming, his head in his hands. Esmeralda turns on the lights and comes to him.

Esmeralda: It was the nightmare again, wasn’t it, sweetheart?

Zachary: (choked) Yes. But this time it was worse. Far worse.

Esmeralda: I’ll get you a cold cloth.

On her way to the bathroom, Essie looks in on the child, who is sleeping peacefully.

Esmeralda: We’re in luck. Barnaby’s still asleep.

She wets a cloth, returns to the bedroom. She lowers Zachary’s hands. The camera moves in on his face as Esmeralda screams. Zachary’s hair is completely white at the temples. Fade to Olmstead’s office. Esmeralda speaks to Olmstead.

Esmeralda: Doctor, I’ve read of such things happening, but I thought it was just an old wives’ tale.

Olmstead: It’s rare, but it is by no means a myth.

Shot of Zach in another part of the office; he buttons a shirt sleeve.

Olmstead: (voice-over) Tremendous shock has been known, on occasion, to turn an entire head of hair white.

Esmeralda: That’s all very well, doctor, but that doesn’t explain his arm.

Olmstead: I’m afraid the shock that transformed his hair also affected his central nervous system. It’s a form of psychosomatic paralysis.

Esmeralda: You mean it’s all in his mind?

Olmstead: More or less. Unfortunately, that fact alone does not make the paralysis any less permanent.

Esmeralda: Then it’s hopeless.

Olmstead: I did not say that. It’s just something that he’ll have to work out in his own mind.

Esmeralda glances in Mason’s direction, then returns her attention to Olmstead.

Esmeralda: Doctor Olmstead, did you know Professor Myron Schallert?

Olmstead: Only professionally.

Esmeralda: Look at Zachary, doctor, look at him.

Waist-up shot of Mason. He has donned his coat and tie. He closes the fingers of his paralyzed hand and bends his arm against his chest, exactly in the manner of Prof. Schallert. Fade to Olmstead at his tape machine.

Olmstead: ... and so I promised to look in on Doctor Mason in a day or two. I plan to re-examine his arm for improvement, have a talk with him, and suggest one or two reputable psychiatrists. I am convinced his paralysis is the result of overwhelming guilt he attaches to his participation in the fly murders. I am sure either Doctor Reynolds or Doctor Pollard can help Mason to overcome his guilt, thus curing his paralysis. End of tape.

Olmstead shuts off the machine, looks at his watch, dons his hat, and exits. Cut to Mason’s home. Esmeralda puts the baby into his crib. She goes to the front room. Mason stands, gazing out the window.

Esmeralda: I wish you wouldn’t mope so, darling. (Mason is silent.) Oh, and don’t forget, Dr. Olmstead will be here in a few minutes.

Mason: (Schallert’s voice) I will be ready for him.

He turns. He is no longer Mason. Not only is he an obscene parody of Schallert, he is an obscene parody of a human being. He grips Esmeralda’s throat until she goes limp. He advances to the wall, takes down an ornamental sword. Olmstead drives up, walks to the door. He knocks twice, then tries door. It is open. Olmstead finds Esmeralda, feels her pulse, then revives her.

Esmeralda: Myron Schallert… the baby!

Olmstead dashes to the nursery, where Mason, in full Schallert regalia, stands poised over the crib. Olmstead cannot believe his own eyes. Schallert lunges at him. He narrowly misses Olmstead each time he takes a swipe at him. Olmstead is forced into a corner. On a nightstand, there is a cross. He brandishes it at Schallert, who drops the sword. Olmstead forces Schallert to the floor. We see Esmeralda’s legs enter.

Olmstead: Mrs. Mason! Get the child!

Olmstead places the crucifix on Schallert’s chest. Schallert foams and kicks, but eventually succumbs. Mason emerges, awakes. Omstead props him up.

Olmstead: Doctor Mason, I presume...?

Mason: Yes, Doctor Olmstead... yes.

Olmstead smiles. He turns to the doorway.

Olmstead: Mrs. Mason, will you---

Olmstead and Mason freeze in horror. Pan up to Esmeralda. She is transformed into Dr. Marilyn Saxon. She grins evilly. Close-up of Zachary Mason. He turns to Dr. Olmstead, who still supports him. Pan up to Olmstead. He is the spitting image of Elliot Davis. He laughs. Close-up of Zachary. He screams. In mid-scream, fade to black. The sound of a baby crying is heard.

THE END​

Next: "The Two-Legged Prey" and "The Vengeance of Dr. Vurdolak", part 1.

 

[Low_Roads]

"The Two-Legged Prey" & "The Vengeance of Doctor Vurdolak", part 1.

Barring the discovery of new material (which isn't impossible; I've still got a few boxes of notebooks and folders to rummage through), these two titles will be the last of GM's contributions to this thread. "Two-Legged Prey" is a terse, twist-ended shortie of the sort Rod Serling liked to write (in fact, I remember seeing something similar to this on "Night Gallery"). "The Vengeance of Doctor Vurdolak", GM's sequel to his unproduced "Doctor Vurdolak", is rather more substantial, enough so that I had to break it in half for easy digestion. Both were concocted early in his career, before I'd ever met him.

The Two-Legged Prey

a screenplay by GM​

Opening sequence: werewolf attack on young girl.

Living room. Present are Sir Ezra Tyson and his son Richard, and Sir Hugo Covington.

Covington: I guess you've hunted every type of game imaginable, eh, Sir Ezra.

Tyson: Not quite, Sir Hugo.

Covington: (exasperated) But... what have you missed?

Tyson: Read this, old boy. (tosses bundle of clippings)

Hugo: These are the newspaper accounts of the recent werewolf attacks. (Ezra nods) You're... you're going to track down a werewolf! How terribly exciting!

Tyson: Yes, isn't it. Richard is going, too.

Richard: I'd rather not go, Father.

Tyson: (angry) Must you embarrass me in front of Sir Hugo? Be a man for once, you coward. (turing to Hugo) Why I was ever cursed with a son who's afraid to kill a fly...

Hugo: Humph! When do you start?

Tyson: There's a full moon tomorrow evening...

Transition to woods.

Rich: We've been all over the woods, Father. Can't we turn back now?

Tyson: No. I'm close now. I can feel it.

Rich: Perhaps closer than you think.

Tyson: (turning about slowly) Now what on earth do you mea--oh dear God, no!

Rich: Oh yes, Father. (face starts to change) Maybe if you'd taken a little more interest in me, instead of hunting you would have noticed. But now... (change complete. They plunge from picture. Sound of cries and growls--sound of gun--Ezra rises).

Ezra: I may have lost a worthless son, but I've gained a magnificent trophy!

Rich: (rising partially--he has changed back) Thank you, Father. This is the first decent thing you've ever done for me. (he dies)

Ezra: (kneeling, desperate) Richard! Richard! How am I going to explain to the police that I've murdered my own son?

THE VENGEANCE OF DOCTOR VURDOLAK

A screenplay by
GM​

Dramatis Personae

Doctor Vitus Vurdolak
Christina Wynter
Doctor Boris Kravaal
Tor
Beverly Callard
Eugene Taylor


Eerie organ music swells as we fade in on a cloaked figure seated at an organ. Zoom in on the book of music on the organ rack. The hand of the organist turns the pages of the book as he plays. The pages read "Royal Presents"--"The Vengeance of Doctor Vurdolak"--etc.

Close-up of a ledger as a feminine hand signs the name "Christina Wynter" into it. Zoom out to show Vurdolak as he nods, takes pen , and withdraws the ledger.

Vurdolak: I hope your stay here at the Vurdolak Private Clinic will be a pleasant one, Miss Wynter.

Christina: (who is on a couch with Beverly Callard) Thank you, Doctor Vurdolak.

Beverly: How long will Christina be in for, Doc?

Kravaal: Your friend is very ill, young lady.

Vurolak: Dr. Kravaal is quite right, Miss Callard. Acute anemia is no laughing matter. I am afraid Miss Wynter is here for an indefinite stay.

Christina: (smiling wanly) I'll be all right, Beverly.

Beverly: Sure you will, kid. Well, I've got to get to work. Take good care of her, Doc. Good roommates are hard to find.

Vurdolak: Have no fears, Miss Callard. We shall take excellent care of Miss Wynter.

Beverly: I'll stop by tomorrow, honey.

Christina: Thanks.

Beverly: Well--goodbye, Doctors.

Vurdolak: Farewell.

Kravaal nods. Exit Beverly Callard as Tor opens the door for her.

Christina: How many patients do you have here, Doctor Vurdolak?

Vurdolak: At present, there is only one patient here besides yourself. A Mister Eugene Taylor.

Christina: What is the nature of Mister Taylor's malady?

Vurdolak: As you know, Miss Wynter, I am a specialist in diseases of the blood. I cannot explain it in layman's terms. but suffice it to say the Mr. Taylor has the misfortune of suffering from one of the rarest of all blood diseases.

Christina: I see.

Vurdolak: But it is your well-being that concerns us at the moment. Tor! (Enter Tor) Tor, take the young lady's bags to her bedchamber, please. Tor will show you the way, Miss Wynter.

Christina: Good night, Dr. Vurdolak. Good night, Dr. Kravaal.

Vurdolak: Good night.

Kravaal: Good night, Miss Wynter.

Exit Tor and Miss Wynter.

Kravaal: Vitus--she is perfect!

Vurdolak: We must begin preparations for the ceremony immediately, Boris. The night of the full moon is only three days away.

Fade out. Fade in to Christina walking in the garden. It is late morning. She comes upon a wan, wasted figure lying in a chair. In spite of the abundant sunshine, the man is wrapped in a heavy blanket.

Christina: Hello.

No response.

Christina: Eh... you must be Mr. Taylor.

A weak nod.

Christina: I just arrived last night. Have you been here long?

Another weak nod. Cracked, dry lips part.

Taylor: An... eternity.

Christina: (changing the subject, which is obviously a delicate one) Tor brought me my breakfast on a tray this morning. Outside of that, you're the first person I've seen today. I wonder where Doctor Vurdolak and Doctor Kravaal are?

Taylor: They come... only at night.

Christina: Isn't that rather an unusual procedure?

Taylor: Not for... such as they.

He extends a spidery hand, clutches a book, and buries his myopic nose in it. Enter Tor.

Tor: Lunch, Miss.

Christina: (starting to leave) Aren't you coming, Mr. Taylor?

Taylor shakes his head no.

Tor: He is on... a special diet, Miss.

Christina: A special diet?

Tor: A diet... to enrich his blood.

Christina: Oh, I see.

Exit Tor and Christina. Fade out.


Next: Conclusion.

 

[Low_Roads]

Part 2.​

Beverly and Christina are on the same couch as before, visiting.

Christina: It's very strange here, Beverly. Doctor Vurdolak and Doctor Kravaal are so... odd.

Beverly: Aw, relax, kid. You just got a bad case of the jitters. You'll settle down after a day or two.

Christina: I suppose you're right.

Beverly: Sure I am. Ooh, look at the time. Got to run, Chris. I'll bring some chocolates and magazines tomorrow.

Christina: You're so good to me, Beverly.

Beverly: Yeah, I know. It's like I told the Doc. Good roommates are few and far between. Ta-ta!

Christina: Goodbye, Beverly.

Tor escorts her to the door and lets her out. Christina looks worried and pensive. Fade out.

Fade in to Christina's room. She is startled by a weak knock, almost a rustle at her bedchamber door. She goes to the door.

Christina: Yes, who is it?

Taylor: (hoarse whisper) Gene Taylor.

She opens the door a bit.

Christina: Mister Taylor, I...

Taylor: So little time--please, let me in.

Taylor stumbles in and collapses into a chair.

Taylor: You must leave this place immediately. You are in the greatest danger if you remain in this house even a few more minutes.

Christina: Mister Taylor, you're very ill. Don't you think you should...

Taylor: You little fool--Doctor Vurdolak intends... intends... aarrghh!

A great tremor passes through his body. He is dead. As he collapses into the final sleep, he falls so his throat is exposed. Two bloody punctures decorate the white surface.

Vurdolak: How unfortunate.

Christina snaps her head about to see Vurdolak and Kravaal in the doorway.

Kravaal: We did all we could for him. We had hoped that the poor man would go quietly in his sleep.

Vurdolak: Poor little man. Take him into one of the examination rooms, will you, Kravaal? No need to disturb Tor's slumber.

Kravaal: Of course, Doctor.

Christina: Doctor Vurdolak--those marks on Mr. Taylor's throat...

Vurdolak: You've had quite a nasty shock, Miss Wynter. Please... come with me.

Fade out. Fade in on Dr. Vurdolak playing the last chords of the "Toccata in D Minor."

Christina You play extremely well, Doctor.

Vurdolak: Thank you. I have always found music to be very soothing after an unpleasant shock. Are you feeling better, my dear? (He seats himself next to her.)

Christina: Why yes, thank you, Doctor.

Vurdolak: (his eyes becoming faintly hypnotic) Call me Vitus, Miss Wynter. May I call you... Christina?

Christina: (becoming overwhelmed by Vurdolak's gaze) Why--yes, of course you may... Vitus.

Vurdolak's gaze hardens as he takes her hand. She is now completely under his spell, a zombie with no will of her own.

Vurdolak: I have waited an eternity for one such as you, Christina. (His gaze is ablaze.) Will you become mine forever--this night?

Christina: I--I--yes, I will become yours... forever.

Vurdolak: (triumphantly) Come, my beloved, you must prepare yourself for the ceremony.

The clock strikes twelve. A full moon rises in the ebony sky.

A dark room hung with darker draperies. Christina, resplendent in old-fashioned wedding gown, stands in the center of the room, on Kravaal's arm. Vurdolak enters, clothed in nineteenth century garb. Kravaal wears a ceremonial gown of sorts. Kravaal gives Vitus his bride. Kravaal then faces them squarely.

Kravaal: (intoning) Do you take this mortal woman as your mate?

Vurdolak: I do.

Kravaal: And do you take this high priest of darkness as your master?

Christina: I... do.

Kravaal: What the Lord Satan hath joined together, let no mortal put asunder. I now declare you high priest and high priestess of the black realm of the damned. You may kiss the bride.

Vurdolak tenderly takes his bride and bares his gleaming white fangs.

Vurdolak: I bring you the darkness of centuries past and centuries to come.

In bursts Tor.

Vurdolak: Tor! What is the meaning of this intrusion?

Tor: Leave Miss Christina alone. She will not be yours!

Kravaal and Vitus start to close in on Tor.

Vurdolak: You dare?

Tor: Yes, I dare!

Tor flashes a crucifix. The vampires hiss loudly and shrink back. Tor snatches Christina up and exits. They run and run, and the manner in which this sequence is presented suggests the passage of much time and distance. Finally, they pause and rest.

Tor: Soon it will be dawn. When it is light, then I will return and destroy the evil ones.

Christina: Thank you, Tor. Thank you for saving me.

She embraces him, and nuzzles his muscular neck.

Christina: By the way, Tor--

Tor: Yes, Miss Christina?

Christina: The wedding kiss you interrupted was purely symbolic.

Tor: Huh?

Christina bares her petite white fangs and sinks them deeply into his throat. She changes into a flapping bat as he falls, struggling, to the ground.

Over by a nearby tree, Vurdolak and Kravaal observe the spectacle.

Kravaal: Say, Vitus--I was wondering--do you think Christina's roomate could go for a fellow like me?

Vurdolak smiles and winks broadly.

Return to music and close-up of music book for the legend:

THE END​

Next: "A Rose For Emily".

 

[Low_Roads]

A Rose For Emily.

Okay, I lied. This will be the last of GM's Vintage Scripts contributions. A screenplay adaptation of William Faulkner's well known and rather grim short story (read by me and, I assume, many of you during high school English), this was written for college credit and is highlighted by a "Psycho"-like shock not present in the literature but wisely added to juice up the action. Regardless of any minor tinkering, it captures the story's mood nicely and would have made for effectively spooky cinema. GM never attempted to film it, not that I think it was ever seriously contemplated; the production would have been far too ambitious for any budget he could have mounted.

A ROSE FOR EMILY

A Screenplay Adapted from
William Faulkner's Short Story
by GM​

Exterior. It is night. The elements are venting their full fury. We see "a big squarish frame house... decorated with cupolas and spires and scrolled balconies in the heavily lightsome style of the seventies." It is the Grierson house, and it is in such a horrendous state of disrepair that one would almost think it abandoned. Only one downstairs window shows a light. The eye of the camera closes in on the house and tracks the grounds Every few seconds our view is illuminated by flashes of lightning. We see that all varieties of trees and plants in the yard are poorly kept save one, the rose bushes that border the single, glowing window. The camera slowly pans up to the window. Through the sheets of rain slipping down the pane, and through the gauze-like curtains, we dimly perceive a "heavy walnut bed with a curtain." The bed curtain has been drawn back to permit the dark figure beside the bed to speak to the figure within. There is no electricity in the house, so the room is lit with two kerosene lamps, one of which is on the bedstand near the dark figure.

There is a blinding flash of lightning and a deafening clap of thunder. when our vision returns, we are suddenly on the other side of the window and the translucent curtains. The camera slowly approaches the figure at the bedside.

We see that the bedside figure is a doddering old Negro manservant. He is extremely black and his hair is like white cotton, giving him the appearance of an old-fashioned golliwog doll. He is unshaven, and there is evidence that his open-collared shirt is profoundly dirty. His face is devoid of expression.

The camera suddenly angles sharply, and we are looking over then manservant's shoulder and into the gap in the curtain. Miss Emily Grierson is lying in the bed, her arms outside the covers. Her dough-white, fleshy face is framed by a pillow "yellow and moldy with age and lack of sunlight."

Her eyes open and, despite her weakness, they still blaze with a coal-like intensity. She turns the full force of these basilisk eyes on the manservant.

Her voice, harsh and unfeminine from lack of use, croaks into the room.

EMILY: Fetch me the Good Book, Tobe.

Tobe does so, clumsily turning the pages.

EMILY: Quickly!

Tobe reaches the proper page, then looks up, the barest flicker of unidentifiable expression creasing his features.

EMILY: Give it to me.

CU of the open pages of the Bible as the Negro's hand lifts a pressed rose from the book.

CU of the two hands, one midnight black and the other lily white, as Emily's fingers weakly accept the memento.

CU of Emily's hand as the rose slips from her fingers.

CU of the manservant's impassive face as a death rattle is heard.

The manservant mechanically begins to arrange the arms of the corpse as the camera withdraws from the room and into the darkened house.

The camera wanders slowly about the hallways and the parlor, brief flashes of lightning illuminating the contents of the house. The painted china and the crayon portrait of Emily's father on the tarnished gilt easel before the fireplace are in evidence.

Suddenly, the camera turns sharply and we see that we have been taken 360 degrees and are once more looking at the doorway of the death room. The manservant exits, oil lamp in hand, and pulls the door shut behind him.

The manservant walks toward the camera. He pauses, and the camera turns to look past him and up a straight flight of stairs.

CU of the Negro's face. A strange, cryptic half-smile, implying some secret knowledge, a secret knowledge that has rotted the manservant's soul, crosses his features. It is the first and last evidence of real expression we will see on that face.

Back to the former shot as the manservant moves on. The camera does not follow him. Rather, the camera eye ascends the stairs. The illumination cast by the oil lamp is gone now, and the ascension is only sporadically lit by flashes of lightning. The camera eye arrives at the head of the stairs, and fixes itself on a door it finds there. We see that the door has had a heavy, exterior lock affixed to it. As the camera tracks slowly toward the lock, the lightning reaches a sort of sexual climax, the naked light it casts pulsating orgasmically. The final flash turns the screen purest white, blinding use as it did before at the window.

The whiteness subsides and we see a party of several dozen mourners are gathered at graveside. There is a light, drizzling rain, and everyone has a black umbrella. The manservant is not among the mourners. The words of the minister are inaudible from our position, about thirty feet away from the outermost mourner.

The minister stops speaking.

A two-shot of two men in the graveside group.

FIRST MAN: Strange about the old negro, isn't it? What was his name? Tobe? Arranged her body, closed her eyes, slipped out the back door, and disappeared as if the earth had swallowed him up.

SECOND MAN: Not so strange. I'm willing to wager that there is more than a little of the Grierson family silver missing.

The camera spins across the faces of several of the mourners and comes to rest in a two-shot of two women.

FIRST WOMAN: Miss Emily Grierson! Holding herself so high and all. Much too high and mighty to descend from her ivory tower and mix with the common folk. I fail to see what she did inside of her house. A pigpen, it was. Why I've never seen so much dust in my life.

We snap back to our original point of view. The mourners leave in clumps of three or more. Two grave-diggers who were heretofore shrouded from sight by the mourners arise and exchange a few words with the minister. The minister exits, and the men set to work lowering the casket into the maw of the grave.

The scene lap dissolves to the men as they pat the mound into compactness with their shovels, gather their equipment, and leave. The rain has ceased.

The camera tracks in. Also, the camera simultaneously resolves until we see the headstone in a fairly tight shot. The stone reads simply:

EMILY ANNE GRIERSON
BORN MARCH 12, 1850
DIED OCTOBER 30, 1924​

A bouquet of roses has been placed before the granite monument. The theme music, "A Rose for Emily" by the Zombies, begins at this point. The titles and credits appear superimposed over the shot. With each title change, the flowers droop, wither, and rot, all through a series of lap dissolves.

The final lap dissolve erases the last title and shows the grave fallen into a state of extreme neglect. The title "Thirty years later" flashes onto the screen.


Next: Part 2.

 

[Low_Roads]

Part 2.​

The camera eye widens out, and we see an old man and a boy coming toward us (and the grave) along the cemetery path.

The man is about seventy, and is dressed in a white linen suit. A black string tie girds his shirt collar. Age has taken its toll on his powers of locomotion, and he must lean on his Malacca cane as he walks.

The boy is dressed in a black suit and a black bow tie. He is about twelve years old.

It is late spring.

The old man and the boy reach a point parallel to the grave. The old man glances in the direction of it.

OLD MAN: Let's stop a minute, boy. Your grandfather's not as spry as he used to be.

The old man goes to a tree across from the grave, and slowly and carefully lowers his frame into a sitting position against the plant. The tree is just as gnarled as the old man, and so the two compliment each other wonderfully. The boy sits down beside his grandfather.

BOY: Why did we come out here, Grandfather Ezra?

The old man raises his cane and points at Emily Grierson's grave.

OLD MAN: You see that grave, boy?

BOY: Yes, sir.

During the following discourse, the camera slowly, almost imperceptibly, moves in on the old man's face.

OLD MAN: Miss Emily Grierson was a tradition, a duty, and a care; a sort of hereditary obligation upon the people of Jefferson. Had been ever since that day in 1894 when Colonel Sartoris--he was mayor then--remitted her taxes, this dispensation dating from the death of her father on into the everlasting. Not that Miss Emily would have accepted charity, you understand. No, sir--not Miss Emily Grierson. Colonel Sartoris had to invent some jackass story about how her daddy had loaned money to the town, which the town, as a matter of business, preferred this jackass way of repaying. Only a man of Colonel Sartoris' generation and thought could have invented a story like that, and only a woman could have believed the fool thing.

By now the camera has advanced from the original two-shot to a CU of the old man's features. The camera eye holds here, and the scene dissolves to a tableau depicting a town council meeting. The old man, more than thirty years younger, is present at the meeting. The old man's discourse continues as a voice-over.

OLD MAN: Of course, our generation was more modern. So when we became mayors and aldermen, we decided the Colonel Sartoris' arrangement just wouldn't do at all.

We dissolve to a picture of our narrator in the Jefferson post office, posting a letter.

OLD MAN: First of the year, we mailed her a tax notice.

Return to CU of the old man's face.

OLD MAN: February came, and there was no reply. We wrote her a formal letter, asking her to call at the sheriff's office at her convenience.

Dissolve to a tableau depicting the mayor, a plump, fiftyish man, dictating a letter to his secretary.

OLD MAN: (voice-over) A week later the mayor wrote her himself, offering to call or send his car for her.

Dissolve to a CU of the mayor's hands holding "a note on paper of an archaic shape, in a thin flowing calligraphy in faded ink."

OLD MAN: Presently, he received a note in reply. Miss Emily informed him that she no longer went out at all.

Same shot. The mayor lifts the note, and we see that the tax notice has been paper-clipped behind it.

OLD MAN: The tax notice was also enclosed, without comment.

Dissolve to Ezra Tyson (the old man), the mayor, the sheriff, and another man being led into the Grierson parlor by the manservant.

OLD MAN: (still as a voice-over) We called a special meeting of the Board of Aldermen, and we formed a deputation to wait on her. No visitor had passed the threshold of that house since Miss Emily ceased giving china-painting lessons eight or ten years before. The whole place smelled of dust and disuse--a close, dank smell.

As the manservant opens the blinds of one window, the men seat themselves on the heavy, cracked, leather-covered furniture. As they sit down, a faint dust rises about their thighs, "spinning with slow motes in the single sunray."

They rise as Miss Emily enters. She is a "small, fat woman in black, with a thin gold chain descending to her waist and vanishing into her belt, leaning on an ebony can with a tarnished gold head." She is "bloated, like a body long submerged in motionless water, and of that pallid hue." Her eyes are "lost in the fatty ridges of her face," and look "like two small pieces of coal pressed into a lump of dough."

Her eyes dart from person to person with terrible intensity as Ezra Tyson talks for the deputation.

OLD MAN: (voice-over) I was spokesman for the group. I stated our errand. She did not ask us to sit. She just stood in the door and listened quietly until I stumbled to a halt. I could hear the invisible watch ticking at the end of the gold chain.

EMILY: (drily, coldly) I have no taxes in Jefferson. Colonel Sartoris explained it to me. Perhaps one of you can gain access to the city records and satisfy yourselves.

TYSON: But we have. We are the city authorities, Miss Emily. Didn't you get a notice from the sheriff here, signed by him?

EMILY: I received a paper, yes. Perhaps he considers himself the sheriff...

The sheriff looks highly indignant.

EMILY: I have no taxes in Jefferson.

TYSON: But there is nothing on the books to show that, you see. We must go by the--

EMILY: See Colonel Sartoris. I have no taxes in Jefferson.

TYSON: But Miss Emily--

EMILY: See Colonel Sartoris.

OLD MAN: (voice-over) Colonel Sartoris had been dead almost ten years.

EMILY: I have no taxes in Jefferson. Tobe!

The manservant appears.

EMILY: Show these gentlemen out.

The deputation exits, resigned to their defeat.

OLD MAN: So she vanquished us, horse and foot, just as she had vanquished our fathers thirty years before, when they came to talk to her about the smell.


Next: Part 3.

 

[Low_Roads]

Part 3.​

Dissolve to the Grierson house, circa 1880's. It is night. Four men, one with a sack full of something, stealthily enter the yard.

OLD MAN: And so, that night, after midnight, our fathers crossed Miss Emily's lawn and slunk about the house like burglars, sniffing along the base of the brickwork and at the cellar openings while one of them performed a regular sowing motion with his hands out of a sack slung from his shoulder.

The camera leaves the men to dolly over to a single, lighted window in the house. It is the window above the rose bushes. Miss Emily, then a young, slender woman, sits in the window. She is not unattractive, but there is an infinite harshness to her features. The light is behind her, and her upright torso is as "motionless as that of an idol."

Dissolve to the old man and the boy in a two-shot.

Cut to a CU of the old man.

OLD MAN: The man with the lime sack was your great-grandfather, Jebediah Tyson. Lime indeed--salt would have been more like it. If your great-grandfather Jebediah had only known, he would have put a torch to that house then and there. And after the house and all inside it had been burned to the ground--purified in the flames of hell-fire--your ancestor could have hallowed the ground by sowing salt upon the ashes.

CU of the boy.

BOY: But what caused the smell, Grandfather Ezra?

CU of the old man, occasionally cutting to a CU of the boy, listening.

OLD MAN: (not really responding to the boy's question at all, but lost in his own reverie) The day after Miss Emily's father died--she was about thirty then--all the ladies called at the house to offer condolence and aid. Such was our custom. Miss Emily met them at the door, dressed as usual and with no trace of grief on her face. She told them her father was not dead. She did that for three days, with the ministers calling on her, and the doctors, trying to persuade her to let them dispose of the body. Just as they were about to resort to law and force, she broke down, and they buried her father quickly. We did not say she way crazy then. We believed she had to do that. We remembered all the young men her father had driven away, and we knew that with nothing left, she would have to cling to that which had robbed her, as people will.

Dissolve to the streets of Jefferson, circa 1880's. A construction company is at work. In the midst of the "men and mules and machinery" is the foreman, barking orders right and left. He is a beefy man, with a mouthful of white teeth that frequently flash in a neon smile. He has a dimple in his chin. As the old man speaks, we can faintly hear the foreman's booming baritone and "the workers singing in time to the rise and fall of picks."

OLD MAN: (voice-over) The town had just let the contracts for paving the sidewalks, and in the summer after her father's death they began the work. The construction company came with men and mules and machinery, and a foreman named Homer Barron, a Yankee--a big, dark, ready man, with a big voice and eyes lighter than his face. Pretty soon he knew everybody in town. Whenever you heard a lot of laughing anywhere about the square, Homer Barron would be in the center of the group.

Dissolve to Homer Barron as he strides toward the front door of the Grierson house. Suddenly, an inspiration seizes him and he hesitates. His face breaks into a grin. The camera follows as he goes over to the rose bushes and plucks a rose. As he leaves, the camera pans up to show that Emily has watched the whole procedure from the window above the rose bushes. She smiles at her secret knowledge of Homer's little deception with the rose. she is obviously very much in love with the handsome brute.

Dissolve to Homer and Emily riding down the main street of Jefferson in a buggy. The camera follows their progress in a long, parallel, tracking shot. Emily holds the rose in her clasped hands.

OLD MAN: (voice-over) Presently we began to see him and Miss Emily on Sunday afternoons, driving in the yellow-wheeled buggy and the matched team of bays from the livery stable. At first we were glad that Miss Emily would have an interest, because the ladies all said, "Of course a Grierson would not think seriously of a Northerner, a day laborer." But there were still others, older people, who said that even grief could not cause a real lady to forget noblesse oblige--without calling it noblesse oblige. They just said, "Poor Emily." And as soon as the old people said "Poor Emily," the whispering began. "Do you suppose it's really so?" they said to one another. "Of course it is. What else could... " This behind their hands; rustling of craned silk and satin behind jealousies closed upon the sun of Sunday afternoon as the thin, swift clop-clop-clop of the matched team passed: "Poor Emily." She carried her head high enough--even when we believed that she was fallen. It was as if she demanded more than ever the recognition of her dignity as the last Grierson; as if it had wanted that touch of earthiness to reaffirm her imperviousness. Like when she bought the rat poison, the arsenic. That was over a year before they had begun to say "Poor Emily."

Dissolve to the interior of a drug store, circa 1880's. The druggist is a man of about forty-five, with tight, curly, yellow hair, and a red, scrubbed complexion. Emily enters the store, advances purposefully toward the counter. She fixes her cold, hard, black stare on the druggist.

EMILY: I want some poison.

DRUGGIST: Yes, Miss Emily. What kind? For rats and such? I'd recom--

EMILY: I want the best you have. I don't care what kind.

DRUGGIST: I have several that will kill anything up to an elephant. But what you want is--

EMILY: Arsenic. Is that a good one?

DRUGGIST: Is... arsenic? Yes, ma'am. But what you want--

EMILY: I want arsenic.

The druggist looks down at her. She looks back, erect, defiant.

DRUGGIST: Why, of course, if that's what you want. But the law requires you to tell what you are going to use it for.

Extreme CU of Miss Emily's lips.

EMILY: A... rat.

Dissolve to Homer Barron as he strides up to the Grierson house. He pauses, performing what has obviously become a custom, and plucks a rose from the bush.

OLD MAN: (voice-over) So the next day we all said, "She will kill herself"; and we said it would be the best thing. When she had first begun to be seen with Homer Barron, we had said, "She will marry him."

The camera pans up to show Miss Emily watching from the window, her face half-hidden behind the curtain. A single tear issues down her one visible cheek.

OLD MAN: Then we said, "She will persuade him yet," because Homer himself had remarked--he liked men, and it was known that he drank with the younger men in the Elk's Club--that he was not a marrying man.

Dissolve to another long, parallel, tracking shot of Homer and Emily in the buggy.

OLD MAN: Later we said, "Poor Emily" behind the jalousies as they passed on Sunday afternoon in the glittering buggy, Miss Emily with her head high and Homer Barron with his hat cocked and a cigar in his teeth, reins and whip in a yellow glove. Then some of the ladies began to say it was a disgrace to the town and a bad example to the young people. We men did not want to interfere, but at last the ladies forced the Baptist minister--Miss Emily's people were Episcopal--to call upon her.

CU of the rose clasped tightly--much too tightly--in Miss Emily's hand.

OLD MAN: The minster would never divulge what happened during that interview, but he refused to go back again.

Same CU. Emily's hands tighten, and the rose stem snaps.


Next: Conclusion.

 

[Low_Roads]

Part 4.​

OLD MAN: The next Sunday they again drove about the streets.

Dissolve to Homer Barron as he walks, not strides, up to the Grierson house. The neon grin is now a weak smile. He somewhat reticently goes to the rose bush and snaps a bloom. It is dusk, and the sky is swollen, bloated. A storm is brewing.

OLD MAN: (still voice-over) Then we were sure that they were to be married. We learned that Miss Emily had been to the jeweler's and ordered a man's toilet set in silver, with the letters H.B. on each piece. Two days later we learned that she had bought a complete outfit of men's clothing, including a nightshirt, and we said, "They are married."

The camera pans up to the window above the rose bushes. We see that the curtain is held back by a single, talon-like hand. The camera angles so that we can see the face beyond the curtain. It is Miss Emily's face, but it is stony, black, monstrous. This revelation by the camera lasts only a second before our vision is obliterated by a flash of lightning. Cut to Homer as he knocks on the kitchen, not the front, door. The manservant, who is now seen as a young man for the first time, admits Homer. The manservant is more emotionless than ever. The Negro closes the door with slow and final deliberateness. An orgasmic series of lightning flashes, accompanied by loud thunder, assaults our senses. During the last few flashes, the image changes from the kitchen door to that of the heavily locked door in the upstairs, as it must have forty-four years before the last time we saw it. A black hand with a screwdriver enters the frame, and the camera falls back to reveal that the Negro is in the process of applying the by-now-familiar exterior lock.

Cut to a CU of the family Bible as Miss Emily's hand closes it on a fresh rose.

Slow dissolve to Miss Emily, at age thirty, as she sits in the window above the rose bushes. Through a series of lap dissolves, she ages to the attainment of her full seventy-four years.

OLD MAN: (still voice-over) When we next saw Miss Emily, she had grown fat and her hair was turning gray. During the next few years it grew grayer and grayer until it attained an even pepper-and-salt iron-gray, when it ceased turning. Up to the day of her death at age seventy-four it was still that vigorous iron-gray, like the hair of an active man.

In a series of lap dissolves we see the Negro grow grayer and more stooped, going in and out with the market basket in hand. With each pass, he becomes grayer, older.

OLD MAN: Daily, monthly, yearly we watched the Negro grow grayer and more stooped, going in and out with the market basket. Each December we sent her a tax notice, which would be returned by the post office a week later, unclaimed.

Dissolve back to Miss Emily, at seventy-four, sitting motionlessly in her customary window.

OLD MAN: Now and then we would see her in one of the downstairs windows--she had evidently shut up the top floor of the house--like the carven torso of an idol in a niche, looking or not looking at us, we could never till which. Thus she passed from generation to generation--dear, inescapable, impervious, tranquil, and perverse. And so she died.

Fade.

Fade in on the deputation we saw earlier (Ezra Tyson, sheriff, mayor, and one other) as the sheriff uses a chisel and hammer to break open the lock on the upstairs room. Ezra holds the flashlight for him.

OLD MAN: (voice-over) Already we knew that there was one room in that region above stairs which no one had seen in forty years, and which would have to be forced. We waited until Miss Emily was decently in the ground before we opened it.

Once the lock is off, the camera switches to the inside of the room. All is black until the door is gently eased open on groaning hinges by the sheriff. Our perspective is exactly as if we were watching from a reclining position on a bed within the room. The sheriff finds an oil lamp and lights it. Its pale illumination sweeps the room, revealing objects as the narrator names them. The dusty appearance of the room is exactly that of the tomb of an ancient Egyptian pharaoh.

OLD MAN: The violence of breaking in the door seemed to fill the room with pervading dust. A thin, acrid pall as of the tomb seemed to lie everywhere upon this room decked and furnished as for a bridal: upon the valence curtains of faded rose color, upon the rose-shaded lights, upon the dressing table, upon the delicate array of crystal and the man's toilet things backed with tarnished silver, silver so tarnished that the monogram was obscured. Among them lay a collar and tie, as if they had just been removed, which, lifted, left upon the surface a pale crescent in the dust. Upon a chair hung the suit, carefully folded; beneath it the two mute shoes and the discarded socks.

The four men have advanced into the room. Ezra Tyson walks to the side of a double bed. Only the side nearest him is lit. Ezra peers down, and plucks something from the bed.

TYSON: Hold the lamp a little higher, will you, Sheriff?

As the lamp is raised, the camera cuts to a CU of the fourth man's face. His eyes almost pop from his head. The other three turn from what Ezra is holding, and their faces also register extreme shock.

Cut to what is is the men see. The remains of Homer Barron are carefully arranged on the bed, in what was once the attitude of an embrace. The body most closely resembles an Egyptian mummy. "What was left of him, rotted beneath what was left of the nightshirt, had become inextricable from the bed in which he lay; and upon him and upon the pillow beside him lay that even coating of the patient and biding dust."

OLD MAN: (voice-over) Mister Homer Barron regarded us with a profound and fleshless grin.

FOURTH MAN: (burying his face in his hands) Dear, merciful God!

As the fourth man turns away, he bumps the sheriff hard. The oil lamp crashes to the floor, and the dry, dusty curtains nearby leap into flame. The sheriff tears the cover from the bed and attempts to beat out the flames, but the condition of the room is far too conducive to the conflagration. The four men fall back from the room. There is a CU of the corpse's grinning face as the bed is consumed by the blaze.

The four men exit from the house just as the flames leap through the roof and begin to spread downward.

SHERIFF: I'll alert the fire department!

As the sheriff races off, we see a three-shot of the remaining men, their faces colored orange by the dancing flames.

Cut to a bust shot of Ezra Tyson as he glances down at what he still grasps between his thumb and forefinger.

Cut to the rose bushes as they are consumed by the flames. The camera tracks in until the screen frame is filled by one burning rose.

Dissolve to a two-shot of the old man and the boy.

CU of the boy. He looks wonderingly at the old man.

CU of the old man's face.

OLD MAN: There were a number of bottles of oil on a nightstand beside the bed. Miss Emily had done her best to preserve the... body, but in the end nature had taken its course after all. I never told the others what I had found on the bed and, in the excitement, they did not ever remember that I had found something. The pillow beside the body had had in it the indentation of a head.

CU of the old man's puckery, cracked lips.

OLD MAN: From that pillow I had lifted a long strand of iron-gray hair.

Cut to LS as the old man plants his cane and struggles to gain his feet. The boy helps him up. As they continue on their way down the road, away from us, the theme "A Rose for Emily" commences. The closing credits and end title roll up, superimposed over the departing forms of the old man and the boy.

Fade.


Next: "Ladles of the Rock Auk".