[VX ACE] Ni No Kusu

[hellfire1]

I am quite amused my offhanded comment has sparked such a lively debate amongst you both.
I wonder what sort of creation wouls spurn forth if we put ours minds together.

 

[LurkLurkLurk]

Things like compelling scenes and dialogue aren't really things you can "teach".
They all depend entirely on the writer's inner voice, which can only be developed through reading, writing, and practice.

Well... Not really... Just about anything that really speaks to you can help develop your inner voice. I don't read AT ALL. My inner voice has taken all of it's growth from all the anime I watch, and all the games I play.

Pacing is simple enough; go in stages; don't use your best cards first.
It's hard to put what I'm saying into words...

Now, as for character development, that depends heavily on the character and the situation. If they're going through a transformation from absolute looser to a hero, It's likely that most of the situations in the present are going to be life-or-death, and the main contributors to character development. If your character is already a bonafied badass when the game starts up, chances are there's going to be one or two mild situations in the present that contribute to character development by triggering flashbacks to major events in the character's life. (this usually takes place midway through the game in this instance)

Anything else you would like me to elaborate on?

Nothing I can articulate right now.

I stand by my suggestion that aspiring game creators check out the story section on this forum and on TMF, for inspiration, though. I'd link examples, but I'm not really comfortable offering writing critique. Also, frankly, despite me being on this forum of all places, I'd still feel uncomfortable doing something that would reveal my personal taste.

This, among a few other reasons, is why I haven't written anything and won't make a game of my own.

Editing and translation, on the other hand, form a loose enough connection with the creator and consumer that I can remain comfortably aloof. So I was able to help translate some of Screamer's games, help edit something else, etc.

 

[Screamer811]

A guide on how to write a good tickle scene...i would use it for sure!

 

[Cryptic71]

A guide on how to write a good tickle scene...i would use it for sure!

Well, there are two universal tips I can give for writing a good scene.

1) Dialogue. Make sure there's dialogue that is appropriate for the situation, and it fit's the character's personality.

2) (This is for writing in general) VO-CAB-U-LAR-Y!!! The more complex words you can use correctly, the better. Make good use of adjectives; they play a critical role in story telling.

If you scroll up you will see "I wonder what sort of creation would* spurn forth" from hellfire. This is a good example of a sentence that has the right idea, but wasn't quite executed properly. You'll notice the word "spurn" is the word he used to add a bit of spice to the sentence. This is the right idea, however "spurn" means "reject with disdain or contempt", so It doesn't exactly fit into that sentence very well. A very similar word, "spew", (meaning "expel large quantities of (something) rapidly and forcibly"), is the word he probably should have used. (I bet it was a spell check error)

A very over-the-top way of rewriting hellfire's sentence would be: (Adjective-->) Curious... What sort of spawn would spew forth if we utilized our collective intelligence.

As you can see, word choice when used correctly (and dem adjectives!) can be a very powerful factor in good writing.

 

[LurkLurkLurk]

I think "spurn" may have been a typo/brain-fart of "spurt." Going out on a limb.

Vocabulary is good for breaking up monotony of terminology or showing degrees of things (big, huge, colossal). Clarity is important. However, using big words for the sheer sake of doing so is pretentious bloviation and usually comes across as a strained attempt to appear smart.

A guide on how to write a good tickle scene...i would use it for sure!

I'd like for people like AnimeWatcher, Deus, and Jaynin to weigh in on this. You can see some of Jaynin's stories on DeviantArt (The Height of Fashion had good pacing), AnimeWatcher's writing is in his game, DeusExProcella's writing in ToG was good.


Screamer, I think the #1 thing that would help is if you went into more detail about what was happening.

I am not a writer, but here are a few suggestions.

Instead of having someone say "coochie coo" or "girigirigiri" and the other character laughing, try describing...

• where the ler's hands or tools are on the lee. Bad example: "leg," "foot, breast." Good example: arch, inner thigh or knees, areola or nipple or even describing boundary areas between the breast and armpit or breast and ribs (since words like "sideboob" and "underboob" may be too silly and fail to excite)
• the type of movements and part of the body (fingertips grazing, nails lightly scratching, fingers digging, etc.) the ler is using
• the way the lee is reacting (changes in voice pitch, changes in facial expression like wideness of her eyes, changes in posture like back arching or withdrawing, sounds the lee makes like laughter, moaning, gasping, or even something silly like accidentally snorting)
• aboutthe ler or lee's internal mental states. Is the lee aroused? Is she fighting back laughter or tears? Is she relaxed? Is she just amused? What's her thought process?

Here are some differences between RPGMaker and short stories to keep in mind:

• You can show instead of telling a lot of things. The way characters and settings look? Those just show up in your game assets (sprites, backgrounds, etc.).
• Your story is spread across the whole game. You don't have to waste a lot of words on the the initial setting during a tickle scene.

Bonus:
If you're in RPGMaker and using the character profile sprite tool, you can also make and use different facial expressions for the lee. Surprised, blushing, and so on. Try to avoid ahegao unless you want to amuse, rather than titillate.

If you're not using the RPGMVXA sprite generator, you can probably find other facial expressions on booru sites and the like.

 

[Screamer811]

Yeah, i'm working on a "Description box" everytime a tickle event is involved!
Thanks for the tips!

And....UPDATE!!
-Introducing the Brothel! Feel free to explore the Pleasure Zone or...the Dungeon Zone!
-Introducing the Five Legendary Ku-Spirits! Will you be able to catch'em all?
-They're stronger than a normal Ku-Spirit of course...
-...but don't think to finish the game easily just because you get them!
-Introducing the Royal City of Giggla! This is a very big town where the "Queen" lives...

 

[LurkLurkLurk]

Sounds fun!

 

[Cryptic71]

I think "spurn" may have been a typo/brain-fart of "spurt." Going out on a limb.

Yea... That's what I said...

Vocabulary is good for breaking up monotony of terminology or showing degrees of things (big, huge, colossal). Clarity is important. However, using big words for the sheer sake of doing so is pretentious bloviation and usually comes across as a strained attempt to appear smart.

Bloviation... I'm not so sure that would be bloviation... But pretentious? Yes.

I did say "A very over-the-top way". I don't actually write like that, though I do agree with what you're saying.

 

[LurkLurkLurk]

Yea... That's what I said...

(I bet it was a spell check error)

This?

Bloviation... I'm not so sure that would be bloviation... But pretentious? Yes.

I did say "A very over-the-top way". I don't actually write like that, though I do agree with what you're saying.

When someone talks with formality and vocabulary deemed tasteless and unnecessary by their audience, it comes across as pompous. That's why it's bloviation. The pretentiousness component comes from them putting on airs.

The issue is compounded if the richness of their vocabulary is inconsistent, and also if they misuse words in subtle ways. The latter issue is particularly common among thesaurus-wielders trying to look smarter than they actually are.

 

[Cryptic71]

This?

Yes.

When someone talks with formality and vocabulary deemed tasteless and unnecessary by their audience, it comes across as pompous. That's why it's bloviation. The pretentiousness component comes from them putting on airs.

The issue is compounded if the richness of their vocabulary is inconsistent, and also if they misuse words in subtle ways. The latter issue is particularly common among thesaurus-wielders trying to look smarter than they actually are.

I was intentionally trying to use as many big words as I could think of in that sentence, but I thought they flowed pretty well.

Also: Bloviation is a style of empty, pompous political speech particularly associated with Ohio due to the term's popularization by United States President Warren G. Harding, who described it as "the art of speaking for as long as the occasion warrants, and saying nothing". (Thank you, Wikipedia)

This is why I thought it wasn't Bloviation. I was only trying to use big words, not draw out the sentence for as long as possible, while making a horrendously shallow point for all the effort.

 

[LurkLurkLurk]

1. I wasn't specifically referring to your example, when I mentioned bloviation. I was referring to excessive grandiloquence in the general case. So, that's a failure of communication on my part.

2. etymology ≠ definition

Definition of BLOVIATE: to speak or write verbosely and windily

Definition of WINDY: ...
3
a : verbose, bombastic <a windy politician>
b : lacking substance : empty <windy promises>

Definition of BOMBASTIC: marked by or given to bombast : pompous, overblown

Definition of POMPOUS: having or showing the attitude of people who speak and behave in a very formal and serious way because they believe that they are better, smarter, or more important than other people
...
Synonyms
...
pretentious

Bloviation does not exclusively refer to blowing smoke up people's asses in a political forum. QED.

However, I was, admittedly, being redundant.

If you like wikis instead of formal dictionaries, there's also this:

Verb
bloviate
(US) To speak or discourse at length in a pompous or boastful manner

Adjective
...
pompous ...
Affectedly grand, solemn or self-important.
...
Synonyms
...
pretentious

 

[Cryptic71]

-All those things you said-

Huh. Well, I guess that's what I get for only looking up one definition of the word.

Alright, you win this one.

 

[Rose_Kina]

Will it be possible to continue playing the game even after reaching the end? Like a real pokemon game when even after defeating the master of the council (sorry if it's not the good name but it's the closest version of the french one ^^") you can save and then continue to explore the world or try to catch the pokemon you haven't catch for your collection.It can be a really nice addition to your game 🙂

 

[LurkLurkLurk]

Huh. Well, I guess that's what I get for only looking up one definition of the word.

Alright, you win this one.

No prob. I missed up in a different way. I wasn't clear enough that I was referring to a general rule, rather than your sentence. Wasn't specifically trying to pick on you. I was just trying to say, "be careful with big words."

 

[Screamer811]

Will it be possible to continue playing the game even after reaching the end? Like a real pokemon game when even after defeating the master of the council (sorry if it's not the good name but it's the closest version of the french one ^^") you can save and then continue to explore the world or try to catch the pokemon you haven't catch for your collection.It can be a really nice addition to your game 🙂

It' possible!
I just need to teleport the main character out of the final dungeon after the ending!

 

[Cryptic71]

No prob. I missed up in a different way. I wasn't clear enough that I was referring to a general rule, rather than your sentence. Wasn't specifically trying to pick on you. I was just trying to say, "be careful with big words."

So the moral of our debate is: Big words can be a blessing to a sentence, but they can also destroy a sentence if you overuse them.

 

[Cryptic71]

It' possible!
I just need to teleport the main character out of the final dungeon after the ending!

It'd also be cool if you added some quests that don't open up until AFTER the main quest. You know, something for us people that like to do EVERYTHING before the final boss to make sure we're at our best for the fight.

 

[Screamer811]

It'd also be cool if you added some quests that don't open up until AFTER the main quest. You know, something for us people that like to do EVERYTHING before the final boss to make sure we're at our best for the fight.

This is possible too.
Let's see how the story develops...

 

[solleticoso1]

"girigirigiri"

Only to point out that that is: "Ghirighirighiri"... you missed the Hs.

Screamer rocks! 😀

 

[Soviet Potato]

Ya, while I love your games and your a great man, the thing that took me out of it the most and I hated the most was when you had a great tickling situation, and you just had one person making noises instead of describing it. Your still a monster for releasing so many games and a love ya, but that was one of the reasons I was so disappointed with the Kusuguru Punishment Zone. On a completely different topic do you think we will have another punishment zone? 🙂

 

[Screamer811]

Ya, while I love your games and your a great man, the thing that took me out of it the most and I hated the most was when you had a great tickling situation, and you just had one person making noises instead of describing it. Your still a monster for releasing so many games and a love ya, but that was one of the reasons I was so disappointed with the Kusuguru Punishment Zone. On a completely different topic do you think we will have another punishment zone? 🙂

Yeah, of course!
And i'm working on a "tickling description box" during torture events. So far, there's not even a single "coochie coo" or " ghirighiri"!

 

[tudorb1]

After a long period of inactivity on here, it is BRILLIANT to come back and see you're still running full speed ahead with making these games, Screamer!! This new twist sounds very promising, and I very much look forward to what you have to surprise us with!! Keep up the great work.

 

[Screamer811]

Thanks!

 

[Screamer811]

UPDATE!!
Let's talk about the Legendary Ku-Spirits!!

-They're five of them!
-Everyone is well hidden in a "certain" place.
-You need a proper object to perform a legendary summoning.
-It will not be an easy task!
-They're stronger of course, compared to basic Ku-Spirits.

 

[sed]

Sounds awesome! Any clues on them? 😛
And I promise you, I will find them!
I will make it my mission in life.

Gotta tickle them all!