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What do "y'all" think when you hear Texas?

Bothersome said:
Speaking of Texas, I'm actually scheduled to move down there within the next few months. I'll be switching from Washington's mild, wonderfully overcast weather, to hell on earth.

This is what I speculate will happen as soon as I step out of the car:

- Bitten by rattlesnake immediately.
- Dragged away by Desert Yeti.
- Tied up to a cactus.
- Hurricane-Tornado hybrid rips cactus out of ground; throws into hospital.
- Healed up for round two.
Click to expand...

Watch out for the Chupacabras.

We have those too
 
paracarl44 said:
Flat desolate land.
Click to expand...

Yes, there is a lot of that in West Texas. Some people (myself included) find a stark, desolate beauty all its own in those areas. It is all in the eye of the beholder.

Bothersome said:
Speaking of Texas, I'm actually scheduled to move down there within the next few months. I'll be switching from Washington's mild, wonderfully overcast weather, to hell on earth.

This is what I speculate will happen as soon as I step out of the car:

- Bitten by rattlesnake immediately.
- Dragged away by Desert Yeti.
- Tied up to a cactus.
- Hurricane-Tornado hybrid rips cactus out of ground; throws into hospital.
- Healed up for round two.
Click to expand...

I don't know what part of Texas you are moving to, but its a beautiful state with a lot of great people. Yes, the summers can be brutal. However, I suspect you will find the climate for much of the year to your liking. Spring and Fall can be spectacular, and contrary to popular opinion we do have four seasons here. Some of them just last longer in other places, that's all.
 
I have posted with some cool people from that state(TexasTickler and alchemy). The last time I was in Texas was early childhood; just driving thru.
 
The Alamo. San Jacinto. Oil. Howard Hughes. Buddy Holly. Willie Nelson. Bob Wills. Benny Binion. NASA. Frank Hamer, the Texas Ranger who led the ambush that killed two legendary outlaws, Clyde Barrow and Bonnie Parker. Harlon Block, one of the flag raisers on Iwo Jima. Adobe Walls. The USS Texas, the oldest surviving Dreadnought-Class battleship in the world.
 
Being a european the 2 first things that pops in my mind when I hear Texas is:

rich-texan-the-simpsons.jpg


...and...

chuck20norriswk7.jpg
 
I LOVE TEXAS! Here are some rules to familiarize yourself with this fair state. Y'all have a good one, ya hear!


1) Don’t expect to find filet mignon or pasta primavera at the local restaurant. It’s a cafe. They serve hamburgers and chicken fried steak. Let them cook something they know. If you confuse them, they’ll kick your ass.

2) Don’t laugh at the names (Merleen, Bodie, Bubba, Bobby Ray, Curley, Tammy Lynn, Billy Joe, Sissy, Clovis, etc.). Or we will HAVE to kick your ass.

3) Don’t order a bottle of pop or a can of soda. In Texas it’s called a coke. Nobody gives a damn whether it’s Pepsi, RC, Dr. Pepper, 7-Up or whatever – it’s still a coke. Accept it. Doing otherwise can lead to an ass kicking.

4) We know our heritage. Most of us are more literate than you (read some J. Frank Dobie). We are also better educated and generally a lot nicer than you. Don’t refer to us as a bunch of cowboy hicks, or we’ll kick your ass.

5) We have plenty of business sense (e.g., Howard Hughes, H. Ross Perot, Southwest Airlines, Dell computers). Naturally, sometimes we have small lapses in judgment (e.g., Ann Richards) . However, we are not dumb enough to let someone move to our state just so they can run for the US Senate. If anyone tried to do that they would get a serious ass kickin’.

6) Don’t laugh at our Civil War monuments. If Lee had listened to Gen. Hood you’d be paying taxes to Richmond instead of Washington. If you visit the Alamo, take your hat off and be properly humble, or we’ll kick your ass.

7) We are fully aware of how hot it gets and how high the humidity is, so shutup about it. If you can’t stand the heat get out of the kitchen, or we’ll kick your ass.

8) Do not attempt to eat tamales without first removing their corn husk casing. Everyone will instantly know that you’re a Yankee. DO NOT, under any circumstances, complain that the chili is TOO hot or contains no kidney beans, this will get your ass kicked into next week.

9) Don’t talk about how much better things are at home because we know they are not. Many of us have visited Northern hell-holes like Detroit, Chicago, and DC, and we have the scars to prove it. If you don’t like it here, Delta is ready when you are. Move your ass on home-before we kick it.

10) Yes, we know how to speak proper English. We talk this way because we don’t want to sound like you. We don’t care if you don’t understand what we are saying. All other Texans understand what we are saying and that’s all that matters. Now, go away, or we’ll kick your ass.

11) Don’t complain that certain areas of this state smells of oil. If your livelihood depended on those wells you’d soon learn to love the aroma. Besides, None of OUR lakes or rivers have caught fire recently. If you whine about OUR scenic beauty, we’ll kick your ass all the way
back to Pittsburgh, PA.

12) Don’t ridicule our Texas manners. We say sir and ma’am. We hold doors open for others. We offer our seats to old folks. Such things are expected of civilized people. Behave yourselves around our sweet little gray-haired grandmothers, or they’ll kick your ass-just like they did ours.

13) Don’t think we’re quaint or losers because most of us live in small towns. We do this because we have enough sense to not live in crime infested cesspools like Baltimore. Make fun of our small towns and we’ll kick your ass.

14) DO NOT DARE to tell us how to cook barbecue. This will get your ass shot (right after it is kicked). Criticize the barbecue and you may go home in a pine box-minus your ass.

15) Remember, the only reason you are lucky enough to be here in the first place is because we have not pulled the Border Patrol off the Rio Grande and put them on the Red River (where they really belong) to keep your ass out.
 
ticklehound said:
I LOVE TEXAS! Here are some rules to familiarize yourself with this fair state. Y'all have a good one, ya hear!


1) Don’t expect to find filet mignon or pasta primavera at the local restaurant. It’s a cafe. They serve hamburgers and chicken fried steak. Let them cook something they know. If you confuse them, they’ll kick your ass.

2) Don’t laugh at the names (Merleen, Bodie, Bubba, Bobby Ray, Curley, Tammy Lynn, Billy Joe, Sissy, Clovis, etc.). Or we will HAVE to kick your ass.

3) Don’t order a bottle of pop or a can of soda. In Texas it’s called a coke. Nobody gives a damn whether it’s Pepsi, RC, Dr. Pepper, 7-Up or whatever – it’s still a coke. Accept it. Doing otherwise can lead to an ass kicking.

4) We know our heritage. Most of us are more literate than you (read some J. Frank Dobie). We are also better educated and generally a lot nicer than you. Don’t refer to us as a bunch of cowboy hicks, or we’ll kick your ass.

5) We have plenty of business sense (e.g., Howard Hughes, H. Ross Perot, Southwest Airlines, Dell computers). Naturally, sometimes we have small lapses in judgment (e.g., Ann Richards) . However, we are not dumb enough to let someone move to our state just so they can run for the US Senate. If anyone tried to do that they would get a serious ass kickin’.

6) Don’t laugh at our Civil War monuments. If Lee had listened to Gen. Hood you’d be paying taxes to Richmond instead of Washington. If you visit the Alamo, take your hat off and be properly humble, or we’ll kick your ass.

7) We are fully aware of how hot it gets and how high the humidity is, so shutup about it. If you can’t stand the heat get out of the kitchen, or we’ll kick your ass.

8) Do not attempt to eat tamales without first removing their corn husk casing. Everyone will instantly know that you’re a Yankee. DO NOT, under any circumstances, complain that the chili is TOO hot or contains no kidney beans, this will get your ass kicked into next week.

9) Don’t talk about how much better things are at home because we know they are not. Many of us have visited Northern hell-holes like Detroit, Chicago, and DC, and we have the scars to prove it. If you don’t like it here, Delta is ready when you are. Move your ass on home-before we kick it.

10) Yes, we know how to speak proper English. We talk this way because we don’t want to sound like you. We don’t care if you don’t understand what we are saying. All other Texans understand what we are saying and that’s all that matters. Now, go away, or we’ll kick your ass.

11) Don’t complain that certain areas of this state smells of oil. If your livelihood depended on those wells you’d soon learn to love the aroma. Besides, None of OUR lakes or rivers have caught fire recently. If you whine about OUR scenic beauty, we’ll kick your ass all the way
back to Pittsburgh, PA.

12) Don’t ridicule our Texas manners. We say sir and ma’am. We hold doors open for others. We offer our seats to old folks. Such things are expected of civilized people. Behave yourselves around our sweet little gray-haired grandmothers, or they’ll kick your ass-just like they did ours.

13) Don’t think we’re quaint or losers because most of us live in small towns. We do this because we have enough sense to not live in crime infested cesspools like Baltimore. Make fun of our small towns and we’ll kick your ass.

14) DO NOT DARE to tell us how to cook barbecue. This will get your ass shot (right after it is kicked). Criticize the barbecue and you may go home in a pine box-minus your ass.

15) Remember, the only reason you are lucky enough to be here in the first place is because we have not pulled the Border Patrol off the Rio Grande and put them on the Red River (where they really belong) to keep your ass out.
Click to expand...

Love it! :laughhard:
 
Let's see......when I think of Texas.....

-My father was from Texas, Baytown to be exact. He went to the military to get out!:laughhard:

-You Texans do know how to party, I'll give you that much! The only gathering I've been to was in TX and I had one helluva time!

-You have some really cool and hospitable folks (some of them right here on the TMF). I've gotten to meet Oddjob226 & Alchemy in person, and Bugman on the phone.

-I'm sorry but the barbecue wasn't hitting it when I was there and when my daughter went a couple years later she said the same thing......sorry but I haven't met anyone who can out-BBQ me yet!

-You guys do make one helluva mean Monte Christo Sandwich! I tried to find one when I got home and was horribly dissapointed. That sandwich was delicious!

-I will say that you guys make some of the strongest drinks I've ever had! It was a one-and-done kind of thing. It sneaked up on me and made me glad I wasn't driving.....:gbtoast: :toast: :drinkup: :drunk:
 
Palo Duro Canyon State Park. Big Bend National Park. Gilley's, even though it burned down years ago. The Piney Woods of East Texas. Lyndon Baines Johnson and his wife, Lady Bird. Galveston, almost wiped off the map by the Great Hurricane of 1900. Jerry Jeff Walker and Waylon Jennings. Stevie Ray Vaughn. Lightnin' Hopkins. The Astrodome. Nolan Ryan. Earl Campbell. The Orange Show and The Beer Can House, both in Houston. The Mission Trail in San Antonio.
 
Bugman said:
Palo Duro Canyon State Park. Big Bend National Park. Gilley's, even though it burned down years ago. The Piney Woods of East Texas. Lyndon Baines Johnson and his wife, Lady Bird. Galveston, almost wiped off the map by the Great Hurricane of 1900. Jerry Jeff Walker and Waylon Jennings. Stevie Ray Vaughn. Lightnin' Hopkins. The Astrodome. Nolan Ryan. Earl Campbell. The Orange Show and The Beer Can House, both in Houston. The Mission Trail in San Antonio.
Click to expand...
ooooooo beer can house
 
I was in Houston a couple of years ago with my girlfriend and loved it, thanks to Bugman's advice as to where to visit. Unfortunately, it was a business trip and I was pre-occupied with my orthopedic surgery course, so I couldn't explore the city as much as I wanted, but the people were friendly and I was amazed as to how large the arts community is there. I'm planning another trip this spring (my parents want me to visit them in Palm Springs, but Indio doesn't agree with me), with my gf starting with Houston and traveling east.
 
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