When is it BDSM?

[tj77]

I just thought I'd play off the latest thread topic. With debate over tickling and BDSM I couldnt help but wonder when it qualifies. For instance I like being tied up and tickled by my gf to a fair degree of hysteria. We dont do things like worship and domination or pain related stuff beyond perhaps a playful behind swat. blBut we do tickle games that can result in the lee begging for the other to stop with the tickling still going. I dont know whether that qualifies or not. I always considered myself a playful tickler/lee. Not sure where I actually fall on the "spectrum".

 

[rhiannon]

I personally think that tickling is always a part of BDSM.

 

[PiedPiper]

BDSM is the most all-around useful and comprehensive acronym ever coined. It covers pretty much everything you want it to cover. The sequence is convenient genius,...... B&D,...D&S,.... S&M. Take your pick.

 

[Libertine]

As long as it's consensual, mutually enjoyable and both participants are of legal age don't worry too much about labeling it.

 

[Aboundtime]

Bondage and tickling go hand in hand like peanut butter and jelly.

 

[Myriads]

B(ondage) D(iscipline) S(adism) M(asochism)

Hows does tickling fit in there?

Oh let us count the ways.

Tickling is a most effective form of Discipline. In face for many S&M practitioners it's a bit too much. I've known bonded slaves that could take a cane whipping that would leave them bloody, safe word out in the face of tickling. In the toolbox of training, punishment, and general amusement, tickling is a highly effective tool.

Sadism. In the hands of a Sadist, tickling can be a brutal experience. A Sadist enjoys inflicting a form of suffering on their subjects. Employed correctly it is a tool that a sadist can deploy to great effect.

Masochism. There is no suffering like that of a lee being tickled. Many love it in that special way that Masochists enjoy suffering.

Tickling is a tool that fits in many areas of the BDSM experience in many ways.

Most tickling fetishists have a connection to the S/M part of the equation. The OP mentions provoking begging. This is Power exchange. an aspect of one person forcing control over another. A partner enjoying taking that power thru causing a form of suffering (pleasurable though it might be) and another partner having their control taken away, and enjoying the experience of struggling to hold it as long as they can, before they surrender.

S&M are just two more names that designate points on the power spectrum between partners. They are rolls (or aspects if one prefers) of people in sexual play with each other, where not only the physical, but mental and emotional aspects are active. Remember that Ler and lee are our fetishes specific analogs to Top and bottom, Dom and sub, etc. Once one remembers that the place of tickling in BDSM is not hard to find.

Myriads

 

[Bdsmtickler]

But we do tickle games that can result in the lee begging for the other to stop with the tickling still going. I dont know whether that qualifies or not.

Well, I would it say it does - esp if the 'ler enjoys the begging 🙂. But since bdsm covers so many things, I dont think it's something you should use as a lable for yourself or others, just a convinient term one can use to find ressources that might inspire

 

[mike273273]

It is difficult to define, as I have numerous tickle sessions, some with bondage mistresses, some with escorts, some with erotic massage therapists, even some with strippers. Would I only consider those with bondage mistresses bondage? I would say yes, as the others don't tie me up usually. Although they straddle me, pin me down, verbally tease me etc, they don't use restraints. I think it is considered BDSM when there is some form of restraint used in the tickling. Although in some of these bondage sessions they have even started mixing in what would be used in other sessions. For example one mistress has started cuddling and kissing me while I am tied up. So sometimes it overlaps.

 

[Artoo]

B(ondage) D(iscipline) S(adism) M(asochism)

Hows does tickling fit in there?

Oh let us count the ways.

Tickling is a most effective form of Discipline. In face for many S&M practitioners it's a bit too much. I've known bonded slaves that could take a cane whipping that would leave them bloody, safe word out in the face of tickling. In the toolbox of training, punishment, and general amusement, tickling is a highly effective tool.

Sadism. In the hands of a Sadist, tickling can be a brutal experience. A Sadist enjoys inflicting a form of suffering on their subjects. Employed correctly it is a tool that a sadist can deploy to great effect.

Masochism. There is no suffering like that of a lee being tickled. Many love it in that special way that Masochists enjoy suffering.

Tickling is a tool that fits in many areas of the BDSM experience in many ways.

Most tickling fetishists have a connection to the S/M part of the equation. The OP mentions provoking begging. This is Power exchange. an aspect of one person forcing control over another. A partner enjoying taking that power thru causing a form of suffering (pleasurable though it might be) and another partner having their control taken away, and enjoying the experience of struggling to hold it as long as they can, before they surrender.

S&M are just two more names that designate points on the power spectrum between partners. They are rolls (or aspects if one prefers) of people in sexual play with each other, where not only the physical, but mental and emotional aspects are active. Remember that Ler and lee are our fetishes specific analogs to Top and bottom, Dom and sub, etc. Once one remembers that the place of tickling in BDSM is not hard to find.

Myriads

Nothing really to add here - but well said. 🙂