Why aren't more women into tickling?

[magic fingers]

I've only known 4 women my entire life who really enjoyed tickling(2 of whom I dated) Why is it that most ticklefiles are men, like myself? Most women I know tolerate tickling(but really aren't into it), or absolutely hate it! Even this forum is primarily male-dominated. And, although I'm also a ticklee, I've basically given up on finding a female tickler! They don't seem to be out there! Am I wrong!? What gives, ladies? 😕

 

[icebadger26]

I am not an expert on this but just based on my own experience of looking I think there are less women because most people associate tickling with bondage and most women are leery of coming out because of it being dominated by men. If a woman were to openly post something about her likes for tickling she would get a lot of "unwanted" attention from our gender because there are a few out there that would take things to extreme right off the bat. This is something that needs to be eased into.
I have spoke to many women about this and have gotten some wonderful positive feedback but location has been the sticking point. There is one I talk with now who lives about an hour away and we have been talking for over a year and nothing yet only because we each have our own situations, but we still talk.
The women are out there and the ones I have spoke to, including a few from this forum(wink to Miss Ann of the TicklingDuo), that have been key to knowledge and understanding of this. You just need to be more patient, I have been doing this for about 7 yrs. Yea I get frustrated because of not doing this as often as I wish, but talking with open minded women has helped.
Just my 3 cents.

 

[mysterytic]

My view

We men usually think of tickling as being in control. As icebadger said bondage is often part of tickling. It takes a lot of trust and exposure for a woman to allow a man to tie her up. Most women, in my opinion, never even make a try due to this obstacle, they stay hidden forever. Having chatted with a few I find there are probably more than statistics would show that stay hidden and live their tickling through fantasy only. Unlike men, they do it by choice, out of fear of running into some maniac who gets off on abuse. True some women are out in the open, but usually these women are spoken for or tickle with others present, or do it professionally. The other few tickle only with their loved ones. As I see it, it is all a matter of trust.

 

[TickledToDeath]

There are more women into tickling....they just don't "advertise" it as much.
Men can afford to take more chances, especilly ON line, than women.
Men Trust more quickly than do women. There is alot less at stake.
The internet can be more..."dangerous" for women than for men.
Sad but true. The women need to be more cautious and rightly so.


TTD

 

[QBWeaver]

Prior to finding this community I would turn away from anything relating to tickling yet it always drew me in as well. My only experiences with tickling had been "attacks" generally not of the pleasant kind. My second husband always like to grab me at a time when I was very vulnerable. Usually the tickling grab resulting in more pain than fun and "both" times he did it something nasty happened. Once I ended up with stitches in my head and the other time I dropped a family heirloom that shattered into a million pieces. So my experiences with tickling were not fun.

Asking why more women aren't into tickling can possibly be compared to to the same question on another side of the fence. Some people into the BDSM community might ask.. Why aren't more women into spanking, or hot wax, or whipping?

This is our fetish. Not everyone is into it just as I'm not into pain. It's just personal preference.

But there are lots of women around. As some of the previous guys have said... The bondage and control thing can keep many women away.

 

[njjen3953]

I truly believe that if the males and the video industry were less focused on the "model" type ticklee, more woman would surface.

Jen

 

[icebadger26]

Sorry to hear that your experiences were not that great QB, but nice to hear a view from your side. Hopefully it will bring attention to your gender's view and help others as far as their approach.

 

[QBWeaver]

Thanks Ice,

Fortunately my experiences from then are behind me now that I've met so many wonderful people in this community.

This stuff is what fantasies are made of and I get to live them! It's absolutely incredible!

 

[TicklingDuo]

The women are out there and the ones I have spoke to, including a few from this forum(wink to Miss Ann of the TicklingDuo), that have been key to knowledge and understanding of this. You just need to be more patient, I have been doing this for about 7 yrs. Yea I get frustrated because of not doing this as often as I wish, but talking with open minded women has helped.
Just my 3 cents.

😉 wink to you too, my friend!

Ice is correct in his observations. Though, there is also (believe this or not guys) frustration on the part of many women. The difference is often this...

GUY *I wish there were more hot chicks into tickling. I'd eat them alive!*

GAL *I wish there was at least one really nice guy out there who happened to like tickling. That would be really great.*

Now, before you guys get all huffy and defensive... I'm not saying that this is the standard of all men. However, of those who contacted me before I got married (and many still now that I am), the vast majority of notes have had this feel to them. I STILL get one liners saying, "Hey babe, I'd love to suck your toes." or "What's you most ticklish spot?" or "Want to have some fun?" These are generally from guys I've never met...and WILL never meet. Why? Because I refuse to respond to people who aren't considerate enough in trying to start a conversation to even say hello or give me a first name. Heck! I'll talk to ANYONE online if they show a bit or respect. But, don't expect me to respond to come-on lines and impersonal babble.

OK....enough. Sorry if that was harsh. I'm hurting today and got no sleep last night. So, I'm not in a great mood. But, that's another thing you can expect in contacting people. We aren't always on the top of the world and ready to play.

Ann

 

[icebadger26]

Hey QB, you are welcome and nice to hear that you have moved forward and have had some positive experiences with this.
Anytime you would like, I would love to chat with you about this if you would not mind. My addy is [email protected]. Your choice though.

 

[MrHighArches]

It's hard to say why more women are not into it , but a lot has to do how they are wired. Some women are not even ticklish , or they may find it painful. So how they react and feel about it has a big role.

Other reasons are that women may have had a bad reaction as a kid to it. I have talked to two women who were abusively tickled by another sister and brother , so now they are afraid of it. Other reasons is that it is not acceptable, it is a "fetish" and to far out of the box.
This also works in tandem with the fact that many women are not comfortable with there sexuality, and soceity does not really allow women to be sexuall, unless it is in a narrowly defined role. many women are afraid to even express there fantasies, it's like at the core of a onion. catherine the great was into it, she can't be the only one in history.
Tickling is just seen as to different, and nobody wants to be different even if it's something you want to really do. there are to many forces in soceity that seek to repress things that are sexual, especially if it is outside the norm.

 

[Shaggy]

I think it all has to do with "gender roles," and how they factor into sexuality and the like. This question makes me think of the old stereotype of the "good girl" who should only sex in the missionary position, doesnt assert herself, etc. The power factor might have something to do with tickling seeming to be dominated by males, but I think years of societal standards is the main cause.

 

[magic fingers]

Thank you all for your feedback (especially the ladies!). It just seems that there was a lot more tickling in high school, and college, but soon after, people sort of "outgrew" tickling.🙁 And I actually feel sorry for anyone who thinks tickling is "childish"(which is what a woman actually said to me once!) or "uncool" Those poor souls don't know what they're missing!

 

[terorizer]

The REALLY Strange Thing Is.....

All the women I've known who complain there aren't enough men into tickling! LOL

I still feel the numbers are probably a lot more even than what we see, as far as men vs. women. One reason I think is I've known a lot of women who never thought of their love of tickling as a kink or a fetish.. .it was just a preference, like people who like different colors. If not for chance encounters, many would never have guessed there was a community of people...whereas, a lot of the fellas have actively sought a community or outlet for this expression. I have heard many stories of men hiring models, or paying escorts or dancers or prostitutes or crack addicts, and so on, to be able to tickle them. Not to say that women haven't, I just have never heard of any that have.

 

[dvnc]

How many more did you want?

Wait, how many do you know to be into this?

There's many, and more still that will convert, 'cause this interest isn't harmful, and can involve a complete focus on them, physically. All one needs is to be remotely considerate and caring, and it's not a bad thing to consider, depending, of course, on whether you're lookin' t'torture someone, or just tickle 'em vigorously. There's folks into both, from either end of it, after all.

Women here are gonna be as quiet as women in any sexually focused forum, like the bondage forums and online communities, 'cause there's enough men here that are agressive as hell, which many women will find undesirable for one or more reasons.

Thank goodness there's the bold folk that are already here, and the quiet ones that show to events, socialize, and meet others. If we, as a community, stopped havin' folks steppin' on one another, we'd have more of the quiet folk, where women ARE the dominant gender, participatin'. For now, I'm just glad I get t'meet the sociable ones at my events.

dvnc

 

[hiram]

I've never been able to get it out of my mind that there are lots of women "into" tickling. It makes sense to me that the percentage of women into it is the same as the percentage of men. I think this since I also think tickling and ticklishness is but one additional weapon in the arsenal that lets us attract one another. Heaven knows, some of us (such as me) need all the weapons we can get.

My guess has always been that many women don't jump into tickle forums because they get don't want to get overwhelmed with guys hitting on them, sometimes in less than gentile ways. It's great that some do. Without 'em this would be a boring place.

As for the rest of it, as Mama Cass Elliot once sang, "If you love her, you must send her, somewhere she's never been before." My take on that is go do stuff. Go for toboggan rides, canoe on a calm lake on a moonlit night, go to the movies. I swear, in all these events we'll find time to tickle. My guess is there is zip that gets a woman "into" tickling better than having her like you. Then once you show her that a little tickle now and then is fun, she'll show you in her own way how "into" it she can be.

Hiram

 

[mpath]

Can anyone think of ANYTHING sexual/fetish related where women can be found (i.e., they will openly confess it) in comparable numbers to men?

Besides lesbianism....I draw a blank here. Even for "vanilla sex" women generally don't SELF-proclaim to want/need it nearly as much as guys do. Again, the reality is likely different, but hey, we're really talking about what folks will admit to....and shout from the rooftops (e.g., in a "forum" such as this).

Given that kind of gross disparity I can't see how tickling would be any different. Sad but true.

 

[Sunriseticklee]

Biased Tickling

I spent almost a year lurking before deciding to post on TMF. When I finally did, I was bombarded by unwanted, idiotic and even disrespectful requests. I guess I should break it down for you. I personally like TMF, however, it is #1 a male dominated forum. As intelligent as some of the post are, there is always some idiot that comes on saying… YEAH tickling gives me this raging hard on and I wanna do… blah blah blah. I’m sure some girls like all that graphic sexual mess… but really… I am almost positive that there are girls who really don’t give a damn and wish you would keep your mouth shut.

Another thing is, not only do males dominate the forum, they come with preferences and preconceived notions that sometimes further intimidate and turn off women. Tickling vs. Race and skin tone, Tickling vs. Hair Color, Tickling vs. Height and Weight, Tickling vs. Ugly and Pretty. Race, hair, size and beauty…hmm. The things that can cause a girl to feel self conscious, and think that she will never be accepted by this group. Think about it. Those things don’t determine how ticklish a girl is. And yet… no matter how idiotic it sounds, some guys think that their own experiences are gold and they use that one ticklee to mold how every ticklee should be. And express it as SCIENTIFIC FACT!

Realize that respect, compassion and acceptance are the keys. Ticklephiles and the ticklish come in all shapes, sizes, and shades. People also enjoy tickling different types of ways. We all have an opinion. And that is what it is… an opinion, not fact. The way we as a community express ourselves will have a profound effect on how far we will go and how much we will grow. When we all figure this out… maybe, just maybe we won’t scare women and other minorities away.

Respect, Accept, and TICKLE
Sunriseticklee

 

[njjen3953]

Bravo, Sunriseticklee. Very well said.
There are however, many guys who are very respectful on this forum and perhaps a lesson should be taken from them.

Jen

 

[mpath]

Again, sad but true...

I hear and read the (very legitimate) rants and complaints of the ladies that are all too familiar. One can hear the exact same basic sentiments expressed by women in just about ANY situation (or chatroom, or bar, etc.), though. The fact of the matter is, though, that it is unrealistic to expect that to change for tickling...even in the beloved, TMF.

Given that, I honestly think the only thing that happens is that the women who DO join TMF, for example, are:
1) fewer in number,
2) less trusting, more cynical and negative, and
3) more likely to dismiss/ignore/be rude to the "nice guys" that are out there. (Let's not even TRY to act like that doesn't go on.) Which in turn, creates more jerks...lol. 🙄

Hey, I'd LOVE to see women (somehow) create a similar forum that was NOT male-dominated. Seems pretty difficult to accomplish/enforce, but hey there's always a first time. 😎 Seems to me more women would join any forum if more women (already involved) asked them to check it out, though. ....just a thought.

 

[njjen3953]

Re: Again, sad but true...

Hey, I'd LOVE to see women (somehow) create a similar forum that was NOT male-dominated. Seems pretty difficult to accomplish/enforce, but hey there's always a first time. 😎 Seems to me more women would join any forum if more women (already involved) asked them to check it out, though. ....just a thought.

mpath,
Mistress Mia has tried to do just that within TMF. You should go back through the threads and read some of them. They wew quite good while they lasted.

Jen

 

[terorizer]

Re: Again, sad but true...

Another thing is, not only do males dominate the forum, they come with preferences and preconceived notions that sometimes further intimidate and turn off women. Tickling vs. Race and skin tone, Tickling vs. Hair Color, Tickling vs. Height and Weight, Tickling vs. Ugly and Pretty. Race, hair, size and beauty…hmm. The things that can cause a girl to feel self conscious, and think that she will never be accepted by this group. Think about it. Those things don’t determine how ticklish a girl is. And yet… no matter how idiotic it sounds, some guys think that their own experiences are gold and they use that one ticklee to mold how every ticklee should be. And express it as SCIENTIFIC FACT!

[/B]

Uhh... Can we get a amen for that??

Hey, I'd LOVE to see women (somehow) create a similar forum that was NOT male-dominated. Seems pretty difficult to accomplish/enforce, but hey there's always a first time. 😎 Seems to me more women would join any forum if more women (already involved) asked them to check it out, though. ....just a thought.

Hmmmm.... awhile back, quite a few ladies in the community had a mailing list that went pretty strong.

 

[mpath]

Originally posted by terorizer
Hmmmm.... awhile back, quite a few ladies in the community had a mailing list that went pretty strong.

I do recall this thread appearing awhile back. Still, if it's a thing of the past I'm afraid it further proves rather than refutes the point. Also, the thread lamented the fact that there are too few tk ladies "out there." So even if this list had persisted, there would have to be on the order of 30% (at least) of the total TMF memebership for the numbers to be a non-issue. When the numbers get that large, "enforcement" issues crop up: guys posing as ladies to get on the list; email addy/list "leaks" and the subsequent harassment that inevitably ensues.... etc....etc. and deja vu all over again.

I expect that for the forseeable future, only the strongest, most self-assured, diehard ticklephile women will continue to stand up when called. Oh well, that's how I like 'em anyway. 😎 😛 🙂

 

[njjen3953]

I expect that for the forseeable future, only the strongest, most self-assured, diehard ticklephile women will continue to stand up when called. Oh well, that's how I like 'em anyway. 😎 😛 🙂

You can count on me, mpath. 😉

Jen

 

[terorizer]

I do recall this thread appearing awhile back. Still, if it's a thing of the past I'm afraid it further proves rather than refutes the point. Also, the thread lamented the fact that there are too few tk ladies "out there." So even if this list had persisted, there would have to be on the order of 30% (at least) of the total TMF memebership for the numbers to be a non-issue.

I was just replying to your comment about wanting to see women create a forum that wasn't male-dominated. The mailing list I referred to wasn't part of TMF (actually, it was before TMF existed I believe), it was a separate thing altogether that quite a number of the ladies participated in. I have no idea what the numbers were, because it was only for women.

Then again, I can think of a dozen women off the top of my head, (and I'm sure I've only encountered a fraction), who aren't "visible" online the way they were say 3 or 4 years ago. Of course, the are still very much into tickling.