Why aren't there more women on these forums?

[GQguy]

I know it might sound like a stupid question....but hear me out. 10 years ago the answer would have been "women don't hang out on the net as much as guys do". But with the advent of social media that is completely false. Some might say "women don't like sex as much as men do" and again that'd be false. Some might say "men are into fetishes far more than women are" and that is also false...especially since tickling isn't really a fetish: "A fetish (derived from the French fétiche; which comes from the Portuguese feitiço; and this in turn from Latin facticius, "artificial" and facere, "to make") is an object believed to have supernatural powers, or in particular, a man-made object that has power over others". It'd be like saying someone that got aroused from a massage has a fetish....touch arouses people.

So what do you guys think?

 

[Comfort Eagle]

I have no idea.

 

[jonny86]

I know it might sound like a stupid question....but hear me out. 10 years ago the answer would have been "women don't hang out on the net as much as guys do". But with the advent of social media that is completely false. Some might say "women don't like sex as much as men do" and again that'd be false. Some might say "men are into fetishes far more than women are" and that is also false...especially since tickling isn't really a fetish: "A fetish (derived from the French fétiche; which comes from the Portuguese feitiço; and this in turn from Latin facticius, "artificial" and facere, "to make") is an object believed to have supernatural powers, or in particular, a man-made object that has power over others". It'd be like saying someone that got aroused from a massage has a fetish....touch arouses people.

So what do you guys think?

They get scared off by the men 🙂. I mean, really, when has a guy ever been scared off by a woman?

PS. That's not my super serious answer but if I had to give an answer right now, it would be that.

 

[porcelaindoll2]

They get scared off by the men 🙂. I mean, really, when has a guy ever been scared off by a woman?

PS. That's not my super serious answer but if I had to give an answer right now, it would be that.

This is probably the answer. So many men on fetish sites seem to be thinking with the wrong head. They send creeptastic messages because of it and it scares some women off. Meh I could be wrong too, but I feel this is the answer. I also have heard there are a lot more women then we think because they lurk. Of course they probably lurk, so the creepiers won't creep.

 

[GQguy]

Hmmm. The only thing I could think of was the stereotypical "women are better communicators" bit. So as opposed to seeking other tickle partners on the net that might creep them out, they'd prefer to simply get their kicks from the vanilla guys they date, communicating their interest to them. Being a lee is inherently easier for a vanilla person when it comes to partners than being a ler.

 

[Wolf]

Overly simplistic answer:

Because women aren't as hard-wired as we men are. They tend to be more fluid in there sexual likes and dislikes; a lot of times, they're more reactive, i.e, if a woman is really into a guy who's really into tickling, she just might develop her own interest in it (This is not to say she's "faking it", or "just doing it to please her fella"). But they're more apt to list a number of things that turn them on (including tickling, a good foot rub, etc) than just one or two. And they're usually things that enhance sexual activity, rather than a "deal breaker". Usually, when a woman says, "I have a fetish for whatever", she's saying that while she really really likes whatever, it's negotiable, and depends a lot on who she's with, and her level of interest in him.

 

[GQguy]

Overly simplistic answer:

Because women aren't as hard-wired as we men are. They tend to be more fluid in there sexual likes and dislikes; a lot of times, they're more reactive, i.e, if a woman is really into a guy who's really into tickling, she just might develop her own interest in it (This is not to say she's "faking it", or "just doing it to please her fella"). But they're more apt to list a number of things that turn them on (including tickling, a good foot rub, etc) than just one or two. And they're usually things that enhance sexual activity, rather than a "deal breaker". Usually, when a woman says, "I have a fetish for whatever", she's saying that while she really really likes whatever, it's negotiable, and depends a lot on who she's with, and her level of interest in him.

If this were facebook...i'd "like" this post.

GQ

 

[SadCuzNotTcklsh]

So many men on fetish sites seem to be thinking with the wrong head. They send creeptastic messages because of it and it scares some women off.

This. I don't think women know that men will do exactly this, but something tells them if I post here or list my email I will get a couple nice ones but more creepy/rude responses. Like a sixth sense they have.

 

[Wolf]

If this were facebook...i'd "like" this post.

GQ

That's because you're a brilliant man, a credit to our nation, and have damned fine taste.

 

[RobAce]

If you were online in fetish communities or chatrooms starting in mid to late nineties, lets say 95-98ish....there were very, very few women online at all. If you take today and compare it to those times....there are more women online today in forums and such then there has ever been.

Easily there are hundreds of thousands more online now than before.

Rob

 

[Bohemianne]

This is probably the answer. So many men on fetish sites seem to be thinking with the wrong head. They send creeptastic messages because of it and it scares some women off. Meh I could be wrong too, but I feel this is the answer. I also have heard there are a lot more women then we think because they lurk. Of course they probably lurk, so the creepiers won't creep.

Actually there are many things that make women resort to silence... and I think this adds to why they exist less.

 

[P[a]pi]

Besides them being scared and following the guy they like, I think less have fetishes and even more so, less have hobbies. Participating in the online tickling community is more of a hobby than a fetish. The fetish part would be having sessions, or creating media (like drawing). Just hanging out on the forums is somewhat hobby-ish.

 

[deadlywiffeathr]

I have mixed views on this. My initial, flashing neon sign reaction to this question was obvious. That women stay away because of the horny bastards that treat them like shit. In my opinion (and also from experience) most men a) dont think before they type and come off extremely sleazy or b) are very deceptive with their motives and end up offending you even more.

I think alot of women are here, they're just reluctant to engage because when we do every man and his penis send us a PM. Its the constant barrage and unwanted attention that drive alot of ladies away, most of us just want to indulge our hobby, make real friends and meet interesting like minded people. We dont want 5 or 6 private messages a day telling us someone's been a bad boy and needs to be punished. Frankly it's abit sickening. I think if the upstanding men on this forum (and there are many!) had to deal with the creepers as often as we ladies do, they'd fully understand how hard it is for a woman to be present in this online world.

I apologise for this turning into a bit of a rant, but hey, I'm a woman, thats what we do right! 😛 All that being said I have met many wonderful friends through this forum, both men and women. And all you really gotta do is wade through the crap until you find the gold 😀

I've also noticed that alot of threads/posts end up being quite male oriented. Eg. So i did this to my gf last night in bed, thoughts? How hot is this model in this new video and how much do her feet turn you on? I like to be tickled here, here and here. How do i get my gf to tie me down and tickle me more?

You can kind of see where women are left out and therefore end up feeling its not worth their time to post any feedback. Hence most of them don't. Just sayin'

 

[Comfort Eagle]

I've also noticed that alot of threads/posts end up being quite male oriented. Eg. So i did this to my gf last night in bed, thoughts? How hot is this model in this new video and how much do her feet turn you on? I like to be tickled here, here and here. How do i get my gf to tie me down and tickle me more?

You can kind of see where women are left out and therefore end up feeling its not worth their time to post any feedback. Hence most of them don't. Just sayin'

To be fair, I'd wager a good 80-90% of this forum does have a wang, and deliberately or not, it's hard not to be male oriented when it's the vast majority of the traffic. I get that your point, but when the supermajority of the traffic is male, it's something that just naturally happens.

 

[rhiannon]

Wolf pretty much nailed in on the head. I've come here long before I started contributing. And I only contribute because I like to discuss in forums, not because I seek anything sexual here. That might be another reason - a woman doesn't need a forum to find what she seeks sexually. 🙂

 

[Phineas]

I've gotten at least one PM from a female user who states that she will never attend a gathering (NEST, specifically) because of the attitudes displayed by some of the regulars here. I wouldn't be surprised if she wasn't the only one.

 

[Libertine]

I've gotten at least one PM from a female user who states that she will never attend a gathering (NEST, specifically) because of the attitudes displayed by some of the regulars here. I wouldn't be surprised if she wasn't the only one.

On the other hand, the boorish loudmouths of whom you speak tend to be all talk and never attend events at all, being afraid to meet Real Live Girls IRL. Also, since all events, and especially NEST, are both prescreened and very well-monitored, unacceptable behaviour (uninvited touching or harassment) brings firstly a very stern warning, then expulsion and banning if repeated. PLUS the perpetrator's name is circulated throughout the community as a troublemaker, which makes him persona non grata at any TK event in the country.

 

[maniactickler]

Women arent as kinky as men.

 

[Phineas]

On the other hand, the boorish loudmouths of whom you speak tend to be all talk and never attend events at all, being afraid to meet Real Live Girls IRL. Also, since all events, and especially NEST, are both prescreened and very well-monitored, unacceptable behaviour (uninvited touching or harassment) brings firstly a very stern warning, then expulsion and banning if repeated. PLUS the perpetrator's name is circulated throughout the community as a troublemaker, which makes him persona non grata at any TK event in the country.

Maybe, maybe not. The folks of whom I'm speaking do, in fact, attend NEST. Either way, the perception is there that their behavior is acceptable to the community at large, and it turns (some) women off.

 

[tickmankyle1]

Just meet people on here and go to gatherings and have fun. Like I tell people i'm here to meet friends and family if we turn out to be that close. Play is only a bonus.

 

[MaleTickleeDC]

Women are more likely to be creeped out by a fetish site than men, even if they find the fetish interesting. So it takes extra effort to convince the women who would visit a site like this that we're normal. I had a very nice series of conversations with one nice young lady that I met on TMF a few years ago. She was warming up to me and was almost convinced that I wasn't a creepy creeper, and then I went and made one stupid off color joke and she disappeared forever. That's the thing that guys on here have to remember. Because we're fetishists, we have to try that much harder not to appear as desperate for sex or otherwise "creepy." Save the ribald humor or even the talk about tickling for several conversations down the road. It will distinguish you from the average TMF'er who PM's every new female member and asks for a pic of her feet.

 

[nice.1]

Isn't it obvious? Put 2 and 2 together it's like asking why is there more porn aimed at men then there is aimed at women!

Omg 'deadlywiffeather' another AUSSIE and drinking corona brings a tear to my eye so proud 😛 if you were drinking VB now that's Aussie lol

 

[HiddenFruit]

Man, you have got to be kidding. Go MIA for a couple of days and THIS is the great stuff I miss out on. It figures.
Okay, I’ll come out and say I’m female, and I want to talk a little bit about how I got onto here, why I didn’t join sooner, and all that fun stuff. I’m pretty new to this site, so you can get a newcomer’s perspective. Some people like Wolf and Rhiannon bring up some good points, (like being reactive and fluid in sexual likes and dislikes… I’ve read quite a few lees stating how their ex-hubbys or ex-bf got them into it) but there’s something else I want to add, and put a slightly different perspective on things.

Personally, for those who want to say women just aren’t as kinky as men: don’t even. At all. What we aren’t, is as focused on our kinks as men. We also tend to socialize more. I’m only saying these from the dozens of social reports, hundreds of comments, and thousands of moments of observation. Most people here seem to get that, for which I’m glad. I think a lot more women have fetishes than people realize, but they won’t vocalize it, or engage in it, or whatever. And really, we all know by now that girls are rearing up in the virtual world, especially social media, so there are no worries about that. But as far as this site goes…

Okay, everyone, I want you to think about this seriously, and try to get where I’m coming from: What is the FIRST thing we all see when we sign onto this site? The advertisements.

I know people are going to immediately start criticizing me for this, saying: “the ads keep the site up” or “it’s not cheap to run this forum” or the best, “well, the site is male-oriented, of course the ads are for the guys”.
Yeah, I get that. I know perfectly well how marketing advertisement works, and how these are geared, and the reasons and motivations. I’m not criticizing that. But that’s the site’s first impression. First impression. How do you think it’s going to be viewed by the girls when a pair of boobs and vaginas flash across the first screen?

When I first came across this site, I avoided it like the plague. I thought it was another one of those porno tickling sites, because that was the impression it gave me. In fact, I didn’t go anywhere near it until I came across an old site that linked to some stories that were on here. So really, it took me over a year to finally decide to make an account, wondering if I could connect with people out of it. Then another round of months before I decided to actually try to use the account.

People want to say it’s the creepers, and while that’s definitely a part of it, the site itself plays a small part too. It’s subtle, but it’s influential, both in female and male behavior. I am a firm believer that constant bombardment from any kind of media will affect people in various ways, whether on TV, radio, or online. I’m not saying to take them down or anything, but really, can’t there be a way to compromise and put up pg-13 ads instead of nc-17? I know this is an adult site, but just because we’re mature doesn’t mean we enjoy that. Even women in lingerie or bikinis would be a big step forward, IMO.

Now, I have gotten a few PMs from lees, but thankfully, so far I’ve only gotten them from guys who saw me on the forum discussions, and sent a message that started off with “Hi there, wanna chat?” or something along those lines, so it’s been civil so far. But I still start off with a disclaimer that I want nothing even remotely sexual. Never hurts to cover one’s bases. Of course, the only reason the messages doesn’t bother me is because I’m actually looking for sessions, so it actually saves me the trouble of putting up a personal ad. So maybe you can’t use me as an example for that. 😛 I actually start off with talking about the tickling so that I can get that out of the way and know if it’s someone I should bother with at all. (Like if I’m talking with a ler or a lee… kind of important to mention with me)

Still, I’m always wary of those “creepers” people are talking about. I’ve had my own history with them, so I know. Guys have to keep all these things in mind if they’re looking for girls on here. Just saying “hello” will be a red flag for this, fetish or not.
That’s my two centsx2. Anyone care to add?

 

[Freethought]

I guess to look on the bright side, there are plenty of women like Hidden who thoughtfully engage on the forum. It also seems like we see the women participating more in areas where there is genuine social interaction like the Tickling and General Discussion threads.

So I suppose if the Forum is primarily for promoting various paid content then the high percentage of males is just about the way it should be, but if we really do want more participation from women we should evolve more toward social networking.

 

[JoePTickle]

It's encouraging that there are 3 female moderators of TMF. If you want a site that's attractive to women - does it makes sense to have female leadership?